Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

Miss Manners on Painfully Proper Weddings


Judith Martin - 1995
    In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said


Robert Byrne - 2012
    Byrne’s own wit, diligent research, and creativity combine to form a fresh go-to reference that serves readers better than Google—no Wi-Fi required. The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said is an all-new collection of clever quips and laugh-out-loud punch lines from Gracie Allen to Frank Zappa, on such topics as sex, divorce, religion, fashion, animals, and money: STEVE MARTIN: “I’d do anything for a good body except exercise and eat right.” JON STEWART: “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” NORA EPHRON: “Successful parents have adult children who can pay for their own psychoanalysis.” This compilation, to be enjoyed by generations young and old, deserves a place of honor on every language lover’s bookshelf.

Practice Makes Perfect (Edward Vernon's Practice series Book 1)


Edward Vernon - 2014
    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ULTIMATE COLLECTION: 3000+ Motivational Quotations With Special Humor Section


Darryl Marks - 2011
    Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfil it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!” Mother Teresa Do you feel down sometimes and in need of inspiration?Do you want the largest collection of Inspirational Quotes you can get to give you the few words of encouragement you need, a collection that covers topics from ‘Motivation’ to ‘Destiny’ to ‘Love’?Do you want a collection that even includes a special Humor section to make you smile and laugh?Then you want this collection from Everlasting Flames Publishing - designed for You!“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.“Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” Chinese Proverb THE 'MUST-HAVE' COLLECTIONWe all feel at a loss sometimes and need some simple pick me ups to help us become motivated and in control once more.That’s why this Inspirational Quote Ultimate Collection was created. “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Antoine de Saint ExuperyTHE BIGGEST COLLECTION AVAILABLEIn this wonderful collection you get over 3000 fantastic quotes and amazing sayings, to inspire you every day, to help achieve your goals! EASY TABLE OF CONTENTSThe collection has an easy Table of Contents, dividing the quotes into different topics, such as ‘Inspiration’, ‘Determination’ and ‘Finding Happiness’.This makes it easy for you to jump to a section for the special pick me up you need at a specific moment.All the quotes are drawn from famous people and personalities from around the world, Socrates to Churchill to Tony Robins, motivational speakers to great philosophers and writers.“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” Mary Anne Radmacher HersheySPECIAL UNIQUE HUMOR SECTIONThe collection also includes a very special collection of Humorous Quotes and sayings, showing the funny side of optimism, happiness, money and business, drawn from comedians and famous humorists, from Mark Twain to Henny Youngman to Richard Lewis. Laughter is really the best medicine and its power to heal and motivate should never be overlooked!DON'T MISS OUT!As you read this, you can understand why you have to have this Ultimate Collection, because it is the best collection you can get. At a price that is next to nothing...You already know you want the most complete collection, so don't accept other collections that are lacking. Get this Inspirational Quotes Ultimate Collection right now and let it start changing your world!“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” ConfuciusAFTER YOUR PURCHASE PLEASE LOOK UP OUR OTHER TITLES YOU MIGHT LIKEBIBLE VERSES ULTIMATE 500+ Beautiful Verses PLUS SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SECTIONMOTHER QUOTES ULTIMATE 3

You Were Stabbed Where?: Real Stories from a Small-Town ER


Kerry Hamm - 2015
    Since the last two books were published, patients have taken crazy to a new level, including bringing weapons into the ER and making Facebook's 'Trending News' section. Written by a registration clerk, these are true stories from the first person to see the patients at this small-town hospital in Ohio.

Eat Less Cottage Cheese and More Ice Cream: Thoughts on Life from Erma Bombeck


Erma Bombeck - 2003
    The result was a classic column full of Bombecks signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life: If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life.But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.

Another 100 Quotations to Think About!


Wolfgang Riebe - 2011
    After the huge success of the first 100 Quotes to think about, here is a follow up with 100 more quotes to change your life.

Scorn: The Wittiest and Wickedest Insults in Human History


Matthew Parris - 2016
    Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed AliThere's no pleasure like a perfectly-turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.

Don't Eat the Puffin: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life


Jules Brown - 2018
    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.

The Ducks In The Bathroom Are Not Mine: A decade of procrastination 2007 - 2017


David Thorne - 2017
     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

The Mammoth Book of Losers


Karl Shaw - 2014
    It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

Holly Smith's Money Saving Book: Simple savings hacks for a happy life


Holly Smith - 2020
    She founded the Facebook group Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK (the second largest Facebook group in the world) and is on TikTok, Youtube and Instagram helping as many people as possible to save money too.This book contains all her best hacks and tips to save money and make money - simple, life-changing ideas for everyone.Holly has included her favourite hacks from the Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK community too, who inspired her to write this book. And has asked all her money-saving expert friends to contribute tips too.All the costly moments of everyday life are included, from supermarket shops to kids parties - even special occasions like weddings and Christmas.Discover lots of fun ways to get saving, find the bargains and make your money go further.

First Year Teacher: Wit and Wisdom from Teachers Who'€ve Been There


Randy Howe - 2009
    It offers hundreds of tips, warnings, and anecdotes from experienced educators--all in one warm and charming package. Benefit from their wisdom: ""Principals love a heads-up on both good and bad news. It only makes you look good if you keep the principal in the loop. Don't hide in your classroom "" --Fifth grade teacherLearn from their mistakes: ""Don't put off returning phone calls of a pushy parent. The longer you wait, the longer they have to think of new questions "" --U.S. History and Government teacherAnd remember that humor conquers all: ""When you're having a hard day, remember why you became a teacher in the first place. My neighbors wouldn't listen to me talk about environmental science, so I had to find a captive audience "" --Environmental Science teacher

I Used To Miss Him...But My Aim Is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide


Alison James - 2004
    But today's woman needs more than a book of soppy affirmations to get her back on her feet and feeling great. I Used to Miss Him... is full of smart tips, sarcastic stories and hilarious ways to heal after a breakup. This book provides the sort of genuine advice you'd get from your best friend, but with a "rip his head off" attitude. By supporting a girl's right to be angry with her ex, this fun guide helps her rebuild her strength and confidence after he's gone.Features edgy advice on how to:Cash in on his lifelong guiltLook sexy and feel fabulous (then run into him at a party)Make an ex-boyfriend voodoo dollLose the guy, keep the jewelryAdvertise being singleStalk responsibly to keep him on his toesMaximize post-breakup pamperingI Used to Miss Him... is the ultimate breakup survival guide for today's woman!