Hello, My Name Is Mommy: The Dysfunctional Girl's Guide to Having, Loving (and Hopefully Not Screwing Up) a Baby
Sheri Lynch - 2004
Dr. Spock may tell moms to trust their instincts, but Lynch's Misfit Mommies want to do every last thing but that. They feel like frauds and imposters, and Lynch's real-girl's voice will be instantly recognizable to them. Lynch will walk and talk new moms through it all: from lamenting the hot dogs and second-hand smoke they were raised on (and, of course, "you turned out just fine") to the realization that kids are kind of germy and gross (but feeling that way doesn't make one a bad mother) to keeping it together at work with Cheerios in the old nursing bra.
Liz Tells Frank What Happened In...
Liz Shannon Miller - 2012
Liz may never recover from "Zardoz".)
Turn Left at Istanbul: ESCAPING SHIRLEY - The ultimate, mad, sixties road trip
Richard Savin - 2019
In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.
The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
The Best of Down Goes Brown: Greatest Hits and Brand New Classics-To-Be from Hockey's Most Hilarious Blog
James Duthie - 2012
His often insightful, always entertaining posts have made the site one of the top hockey blogs in the world--and definitely the most amusing. From shrewd observations to tongue-in-cheek commentary, Down Goes Brown manages to capture the essence of hockey while exposing the frequently funny side of the sport. Now, in The Best of Down Goes Brown, McIndoe himself compiles some of the blog's best-loved posts, along with a host of all-new content, in one side-splitting volume.
The Mother of All Meltdowns
Crystal PontiAndrea Moore - 2013
In a millisecond, her halo crumbles and she has a moment so crazed it is forever known as the one…The Mother of All Meltdowns. The following anthology was written by women who have had their moments. Together we have experienced the anguish and frustration of the adult-sized tantrum. We have shed the tears, dropped to our knees in agony, and asked the age-old question, “Why me?” From poop-decorated rooms to having our liquid gold scrutinized and confiscated by TSA, we’re not afraid to share our collection of thirty tell-all stories. We are survivalists and know that within every meltdown there is a silver lining.
Trailer Trashed: My Dubious Efforts Toward Upward Mobility
Hollis Gillespie - 2008
If anyone asked about her family, she would tell them her parents were wealthy and that she came from a refined background. She never mentioned the time they lived in a mobile home two miles north of the Tijuana border. "Trailer Trashed" is a collection of interconnected essays, ranging from hilarious to heart-breaking, all on one broad theme—Hollis Gillespie's relationships with her equally offbeat sisters, her precocious daughter, her bizarre friends, and the people they love. Think David Sedaris meets "Thelma & Louise." "If David Sedaris had a vagina and wasn't such a pussy, he'd write like Hollis Gillespie." --Bust magazine
Perhaps I've Said Too Much (A Great Big Book of Messing with People)
Rodney Lacroix - 2013
Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)
I Don't Have a Bucket List but My F*ck-it List is a Mile Long: The hilarious guide to making your life happier, richer, and even more badass!
Ruby Rey - 2019
We dare say there's a bit of Tina Fey's Bossypants in here, too." Looking for a refreshing new take on kicking ass at life? Ruby Rey is not your mother's life coach. She's one hilarious professional writer who has overcome her sucky genes to become happy, rich, and (you be the judge after you read this book) wise. If you're seeking motivation, you'll love Ruby Rey's fresh take on important topics such as: - living the kind of amazing life you'd watch on the big screen - how to change your everyday habits - what the hell it means to "choose happiness" - not being the prettiest, sexiest girl in the room, and how that's an advantage - ditching those frenemies - an alternative to hard work and luck - one weird trick for improving your mood every day Do you like lists? This book has lists! Plus Ruby Rey's real life stories that are sometimes raw, frequently funny, and always honest and insightful. There's something for everyone, from self-help newbies to the more advanced, who've "been there, done that" through all the basic stuff. What's different about this book is how it's filtered through the keen eyes and witty mind of a professional writer who knows how to craft the entertainment you love. Get ready to realign your mind, shake up your routine, and get back on track. Or just kick back and enjoy a few laughs. This collection of easy-to-follow life lessons may be a powerhouse, but it doesn't take itself too seriously. Warning: I Don't Have a Bucket List but My F*ck-It List is a Mile Long contains no sugarcoating. There are, as you may have guessed, a few swear words.
Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to theRepublic
Robert Lanham - 2004
From the office TGIF (the overgrown frat boy in the office who always says “party”) to the Lieberal (a Democrat with Republican sympathies), from Uncle Tomatoes (Italians who hate The Sopranos) to Cherohonkees (white Baby Boomers who dress like Native Americans), each profile offers a detailed description of everything from sex appeal and favorite pick-up lines to popular names and habitats. The result is both a brilliant parody and thorough outing of just about every neurosis, attribute, and personality type there is.
Jewtopia: The Chosen Book for the Chosen People
Bryan Fogel - 2006
It contains the Jewish nursery blueprint, complete with panic room, fireproof wallpaper and guardian ninja, the top-ten list of Jewish 'dont's', the complete timeline of Jewish expulsion, and much more.
Crappy Children's Art
Maddox - 2012
If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids, and he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old's crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade "gifts" and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance!Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.
MTV's Beavis and Butthead's Ensucklopedia
Mike Judge - 1994
Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.
Damn You Autocorrect! 2
Lyndsey Saul - 2013
Ever been mortified by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. This brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from damnyouautocorrect.com, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic auto-correct fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from the site.
The Fuck It List: All The Things You Can Skip Before You Die
Peter Conners - 2015
The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!
