The Art of Conversation: Change Your Life with Confident Communication
Judy Apps - 2014
Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or can't stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?"The Art of Conversation "will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if you're daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult-Use conversation to form relationships, improve friendships, make the sale, chat people up, to learn, influence and persuade.TABLE OF CONTENTSINTRO 1. INTRODUCING CONVERSATION1. Normal and everyday2. The key to many doors3. What this book is and isn't1. THE DANCE OF CONVERSATION1. The dance of conversation2. A subtle human art3. The traditional 'conversationalist'4. What's conversation for?2. CONNECTING IS WHAT MATTERS MOST1. Conversational DrainsEnthuso-boreRobo-choreEcho-boreThe Ego-boreQueen of GossipMoaning Micky and Minnie2. Finding common groundFavourite objects of attention3. Non-verbal connectionBody languageVoice tone4. Energetic connection5. FlexibilityDealing with 'drains'3. GETTING IN THE RIGHT STATE1. Looking at lack of ease2. Managing your state3. Breathe4. Move5. Collecting positive states6. Staying present and aware7. Focusing outside yourself8. Dealing with silence9. Curiosity10. Trusting yourself and others4. GETTING A CONVERSATION GOING - THE BASICS1. Breaking the silence2. Make a comment3. Float in a simple question4. Try a comment followed by a question5. Introduce yourself positively6. Keeping the Conversation Going7. Adding a little extra8. Taking it gently9. Open questions10. Stories11. Dropping conversational clues - and picking them up5. LISTENING1. How well do you listen1. What can happen instead of listening2. Rehearsing your own piece3. Daydreaming4. Pretending to listen5. Non-listening6. Filtering the communication7. Judgement8. Playing the psychiatrist9. Reassuring or diverting2. How to listen well3. Show that you're listening4. Freeing yourself to listen5. Deep listening PART 2: THE POWER OF CONVERSATION6. INFLUENCING A CONVERSATION1. Know your intention2. Leading through connection3. Creating movement4. Influence can be as gentle as a story7. DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONVERSATION1. Thing Talk2. Action talkThe art of small talk3. Head TalkExchange of ideasExchange of opinionsWit4. Heart TalkEmotional supportIntimate conversationRisk taking5. Transparent/Inward/Intimate TalkPresence in Aikido6. Generative Talk/Soul Talk7. Progressing through talk-types8. EXPRESSING YOURSELF1. Expressing you - voiceBe understood Speak with flow Getting rid of useless fillers Expressing interest and sounding interesting2. Expressing you - body language3. Expressing you - your emotionsInfluencing with your emotions4. Expressing the real you5. Dancing with languageFinding a common language Playtime with language Negative language Language Habits Big effect of small words Language of Influence? PART 3: CONVERSATION IN PRACTICE9. SAILING THROUGH TRICKY WATERS1. What to do if you're stuckStop faking it Slowing down Be careful what you ask Know which "rules" you're playing Being flexibile2. Oiling the wheelsComment on what you've already heard Offer a prompt Encouraging nods and grunts3. Spotting the Games People PlayThe status game The manipulation game Role playing Naming the game4. Enjoying disagreement5. ConfrontationsHandling feelings with skill Checking your assumptions Assertive method/Taking the initiative/What to say10. CONVERSATIONS IN A PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT1. Conversations in the workplaceRole playing Small talk at work Negative small talk Meetings, Jousts and Debates Facilitating Group Conversations skilfully/Meaningful conversationsConversational style - Coaching style rather than control/command2. NetworkingBeing the best of you - as written at beg. Of chapter. - Clear/honest Giving and taking Probing questions Abundance Error! Bookmark notdefined.Avoiding the networking nerd - and avoiding being one! Seizing the day Moving on3. Job InterviewsCreating a conversation Busting the men/women myths4. Conversations in the mediaStage-crafted conversations /Most media interviews pre-plannedDesire for black/white Confrontations Media chat If you want something fresh and new, you need time Time factors - no time for conversation to grow Fine media interviews that are conversations Genuine interactions Conversational style solos5. Conversations to create personal changeKey Points Coaching and counselling conversations Building advanced questioning skills Using deep listening skills Bus-stop break-throughs PART 4: CONVERSATIONS CHANGING THE WORLD/ BIG CONVERSATIONS1. Conversations to Change the WorldNegotiation High level conversations2. &am
The Way They Were: Dealing with Your Parents' Divorce After a Lifetime of Marriage
Brooke Lea Foster - 2006
Written by an award-winning journalist who has lived through her own parents’ midlife divorce, this practical, comforting guide includes advice on: • How to help your parents without getting caught in the middle• How to have tough conversations with your parents about money, property, and inheritance—theirs and yours• How to understand the complexities of infidelity and stepfamilies• How to rebuild relationships with each parent after the divorceFrom the Trade Paperback edition.
The Motivation Hacker
Nick Winter - 2013
That may keep a society together, but it’s not the protagonist’s job. The Motivation Hacker shows you how to summon extreme amounts of motivation to accomplish anything you can think of. From precommitment to rejection therapy, this is your field guide to getting yourself to want to do everything you always wanted to want to do.I wrote this book in three months while simultaneously attempting seventeen other missions, including running a startup, launching a hit iPhone app, learning to write 3,000 new Chinese words, training to attempt a four-hour marathon from scratch, learning to skateboard, helping build a successful cognitive testing website, being best man at two weddings, increasing my bench press by sixty pounds, reading twenty books, going skydiving, helping to start the Human Hacker House, learning to throw knives, dropping my 5K time by five minutes, and learning to lucid dream. I planned to do all this while sleeping eight hours a night, sending 1,000 emails, hanging out with a hundred people, going on ten dates, buying groceries, cooking, cleaning, and trying to raise my average happiness from 6.3 to 7.3 out of 10.How? By hacking my motivation.
How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends: Revised and Updated
Don Gabor - 1983
This revised and updated edition offers easy time-tested ways to improve anybody's ability to communicate in business and social situations, either in person or in cyberspace.
Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America's Greatest Tragedy
David Sheff - 2013
As with other illnesses, the approaches most likely to work are based on science — not on faith, tradition, contrition, or wishful thinking. These facts are the foundation of Clean. The existing addiction treatments, including Twelve Step programs and rehabs, have helped some, but they have failed to help many more. To discover why, David Sheff spent time with scores of scientists, doctors, counselors, and addicts and their families, and explored the latest research in psychology, neuroscience, and medicine. In Clean, he reveals how addiction really works, and how we can combat it.“A guide for those affected by addiction, but also a manifesto . . . for America as it confronts its drug problem. [Sheff] has performed a vital service by compiling sensible advice on a subject for which sensible advice is in short supply.” — New York Times Book Review“As a journalist, father, and clear-eyed chronicler of addiction, David Sheff is without peer.” — Sanjay Gupta, M.D., chief medical correspondent, CNN
Everything is Obvious: Once You Know the Answer
Duncan J. Watts - 2011
As sociologist and network science pioneer Duncan Watts explains in this provocative book, the explanations that we give for the outcomes that we observe in life—explanation that seem obvious once we know the answer—are less useful than they seem.Drawing on the latest scientific research, along with a wealth of historical and contemporary examples, Watts shows how common sense reasoning and history conspire to mislead us into believing that we understand more about the world of human behavior than we do; and in turn, why attempts to predict, manage, or manipulate social and economic systems so often go awry.It seems obvious, for example, that people respond to incentives; yet policy makers and managers alike frequently fail to anticipate how people will respond to the incentives they create. Social trends often seem to have been driven by certain influential people; yet marketers have been unable to identify these “influencers” in advance. And although successful products or companies always seem in retrospect to have succeeded because of their unique qualities, predicting the qualities of the next hit product or hot company is notoriously difficult even for experienced professionals.Only by understanding how and when common sense fails, Watts argues, can we improve how we plan for the future, as well as understand the present—an argument that has important implications in politics, business, and marketing, as well as in science and everyday life.
No B.S. Trust Based Marketing: The Ultimate Guide to Creating Trust in an Understandibly Un-trusting World
Dan S. Kennedy - 2012
The 4-Hour Chef: The Simple Path to Cooking Like a Pro, Learning Anything, and Living the Good Life
Timothy Ferriss - 2012
It’s a choose-your-own-adventure guide to the world of rapid learning.#1 New York Times bestselling author (and lifelong non-cook) Tim Ferriss takes you from Manhattan to Okinawa, and from Silicon Valley to Calcutta, unearthing the secrets of the world’s fastest learners and greatest chefs. Ferriss uses cooking to explain “meta-learning,” a step-by-step process that can be used to master anything, whether searing steak or shooting 3-pointers in basketball. That is the real “recipe” of The 4-Hour Chef.You'll train inside the kitchen for everything outside the kitchen. Featuring tips and tricks from chess prodigies, world-renowned chefs, pro athletes, master sommeliers, super models, and everyone in between, this “cookbook for people who don’t buy cookbooks” is a guide to mastering cooking and life.The 4-Hour Chef is a five-stop journey through the art and science of learning:1. META-LEARNING. Before you learn to cook, you must learn to learn. META charts the path to doubling your learning potential.2. THE DOMESTIC. DOM is where you learn the building blocks of cooking. These are the ABCs (techniques) that can take you from Dr, Seuss to Shakespeare.3. THE WILD. Becoming a master student requires self-sufficiency in all things. WILD teaches you to hunt, forage, and survive.4. THE SCIENTIST. SCI is the mad scientist and modernist painter wrapped into one. This is where you rediscover whimsy and wonder.5. THE PROFESSIONAL. Swaraj, a term usually associated with Mahatma Gandhi, can be translated as “self-rule.” In PRO, we’ll look at how the best in the world become the best in the world, and how you can chart your own path far beyond this book.
Poke the Box
Seth Godin - 2011
It demands that you stop waiting for a road map and start drawing one instead. You know how to do this, you’ve done it before, but along the way, someone talked you out of it.We need your insight and your dreams and your contributions. Hurry.
Thank You for Being Late: An Optimist's Guide to Thriving in the Age of Accelerations
Thomas L. Friedman - 2016
Friedman shows that we have entered an age of dizzying acceleration--and explains how to live in it. Due to an exponential increase in computing power, climbers atop Mount Everest enjoy excellent cell-phone service and self-driving cars are taking to the roads. A parallel explosion of economic interdependency has created new riches as well as spiraling debt burdens. Meanwhile, Mother Nature is also seeing dramatic changes as carbon levels rise and species go extinct, with compounding results.How do these changes interact, and how can we cope with them? To get a better purchase on the present, Friedman returns to his Minnesota childhood and sketches a world where politics worked and joining the middle class was an achievable goal. Today, by contrast, it is easier than ever to be a maker (try 3-D printing) or a breaker (the Islamic State excels at using Twitter), but harder than ever to be a leader or merely "average." Friedman concludes that nations and individuals must learn to be fast (innovative and quick to adapt), fair (prepared to help the casualties of change), and slow (adept at shutting out the noise and accessing their deepest values). With vision, authority, and wit, Thank You for Being Late establishes a blueprint for how to think about our times.
Unhooked: How to Quit Anything
Susan Shapiro - 2011
Over the past twenty-five years, renowned addiction therapist Dr. Frederick Woolverton has used his dynamic, empathetic approach to help thousands of addicts achieve long-term recovery—including himself. He sees the specific habit as less important than the underlying chaos and fear that motivate the urge to sooth ourselves with bad habits. The solution, he has found, requires only a better understanding of yourself and a change in attitude. Unhooked: How To Quit Anything is an intelligent, readable, and actionable guide to conquering any addictive habit. Using real patient examples as well as research and his own experience, Dr. Woolverton and coauthor (and former patient) Susan Shapiro show how to thrive without self-medicating. The approach involves an unorthodox blend of straightforward changes to behavior and open and honest conversation with another person. Woolverton’s specific instructions do not require an expensive therapist, rehab, 12-step program, or a higher power (but he does make readers aware of those viable options). Let him help you kick your addiction and find what’s missing in your world. When you conquer a toxic habit, you are leaving room for something more beautiful to take its place.
The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage
Brené Brown - 2013
Brené Brown, “we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.” On The Power of Vulnerability, Dr. Brown offers an invitation and a promise - that when we dare to drop the armor that protects us from feeling vulnerable, we open ourselves to the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. Here she dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and reveals that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.“The Power of Vulnerability is a very personal project for me,” Brené explains. “This is the first place that all of my work comes together. This audio course draws from all three of my books - it’s the culmination of everything I’ve learned over the past twelve years. I'm very excited to weave it all into a truly comprehensive form that shows what these findings and insights can mean in our lives.”Guidance and Insights for Wholehearted LivingOver the past twelve years, Dr. Brené Brown has interviewed hundreds of people as part of an ongoing study of vulnerability. “The research shows that we try to ward disappointment with a shield of cynicism, disarm shame by numbing ourselves against joy, and circumvent grief by shutting off our willingness to love,” explains Dr. Brown. When we become aware of these patterns, she teaches, we begin to become conscious of how much we sacrifice in the name of self-defense -and how much richer our lives become when we open ourselves to vulnerability.“In my research,” Dr. Brown says, “the word I use to describe people who can live from a place of vulnerability is wholehearted.” Being wholehearted is a practice—one that we can choose to cultivate through empathy, gratitude, and awareness of our vulnerability armor. Join this engaging and heartfelt teacher on The Power of Vulnerability as she offers profound insights on leaning into the full spectrum of emotions—so we can show up, let ourselves be seen, and truly be all in.HIGHLIGHTSCultivating shame resilience—the key to developing a sense of worth and belonging.Vulnerability as the origin point for innovation, adaptability, accountability, and visionary leadership.Our emotional armory - how we use perfectionism, numbing, and other tactics to avoid feeling vulnerable.The myths of vulnerability - common misconceptions about weakness, trust, and self-sufficiency.Discovering your vulnerability armor - recognizing what makes us shut down, and how we can change.The 10 guideposts of wholehearted living - essential skills for becoming fully engaged in life.Six hours of stories, warm humor, and transformative insights for living a life of courage, authenticity, and compassion from Dr. Brené Brown.
We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter
Celeste Headlee - 2017
Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller, and her advice has helped me become a better spouse, friend, and mother.” (Jessica Lahey, author of New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure)Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals.And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist—and offers simple tools that can improve anyone’s communication. For example: BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE. Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again.CHECK YOUR BIAS. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else.HIDE YOUR PHONE. Don’t just put down your phone, put it away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation.Whether you’re struggling to communicate with your kid’s teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most—Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.
Do It Scared: Finding the Courage to Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, and Create a Life You Love
Ruth Soukup - 2019
That there's no time, or that it's not practical. But what if the real reason we're putting off our goals is FEAR?The fear that we're not good enough, not smart or talented or capable enough. It's the fear that others might laugh at us, or that we'll get hurt or be rejected, or that pursuing our true potential will simply be too hard.And most of all, the fear that we'll fail.But courage doesn't mean we are never afraid. True courage means taking action, despite the fear. True courage means doing it scared.The question is - how? How do we face those fears and take that first step in the right direction? How do we overcome those obstacles that stand in our way and sometimes feel insurmountable?In Do It Scared, popular blogger and podcast host Ruth Soukup will help you to:Identify your own unique Fear Archetype™ - the specific type of fear that keeps you stuck - and learn how to conquer it.Dare to start thinking bigger about your life and your goals.Learn how to seek out honest feedback to accomplish big things.Embrace the core beliefs you need to overcome different types of fears.Discover why our magical idea of 'balance' is totally overrated and let go of the guilt, once and for all.Equal parts inspiration and tough love, Do It Scared combines easy-to-implement tips with the motivation to start making real changes that lead to big results. Get ready to get off the sidelines and jump into your own life as you dare to Do It Scared.
Networking Is a Contact Sport: How Staying Connected and Serving Others Will Help You Grow Your Business, Expand Your Influence -- or Even Land Your Next Job
Joe Sweeney - 2010
Networking.In this New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA TODAY bestseller, master networker Joe Sweeney shares his networking secrets from a long and successful career as a business owner, sports agent and executive and investment banking consultant. His first secret: master networkers are focused on giving, not getting.With today’s difficult economy and uncertain workplace, networking has never been more important. Sweeney’s simple but effective 5/10/15 networking plan will give you a leg up in the current job market, help you stay employed, or, if you’ve been laid off, find your next job. The cliché that who you know is more important than what you know has never been truer. Sweeney illustrates his insights with dozens of helpful examples from his own life (along with a few fascinating insider sports stories).With special sections on networking for women and minorities, insights into the usefulness (and handicaps) of social networking sites, how to get (and why you need) a wingman and profiles of other master networkers, Networking Is a Contact Sport is a practical and essential guide for anyone who wants to get ahead in today’s economy.