Do cats do things they don’t want to do? Definitely not. Do cats rush around at all hours of the day when they’d rather be licking their paws and looking out a window? Please. Calm, free, charismatic, wise, elegant, self-assured—our beloved feline pets strut those traits that we humans spend a lifetime aspiring to. No wonder everybody wants to be more like a cat.After observing his own cat, Ziggy, for years, bestselling French author Stéphane Garnier decided that he would be much happier if he could just live more like Ziggy. Closer study only confirmed his suspicion that cats have that je ne sais quoi, and he set out to share Ziggy’s innate wisdom with the world.Whether at work, at home, or in your social life, your cat can teach you how to manage stress, cultivate independence, and live life on your terms. Peppered with humorous yet inspiring tips for living a day in the life of a cat, cat secrets from Ziggy, and a quiz to assess your “cat quotient,” How to Think Like a Cat is an inspiring, humorous, and remarkably insightful guide to the subtle art of living like a feline.

    In these nineteen whip-smart essays, Jon Stewart takes on politics, religion, and celebrity with seething irreverent wit, a brilliant sense of timing, and a palate for the absurd -- and these one-of-a-kind forays into his hilarious world will expose you to all it's wickedly naked truths.

    Despite what David Miliband might think

    John Cleese shows us how. Creativity is usually regarded as a mysterious, rare gift that only a few possess. John Cleese begs to differ, and in this short, immensely practical and often very amusing guide he shows it's a skill that anyone can acquire. Drawing on his lifelong experience as a writer, he shares his insights into the nature of the creative process, and offers advice on how to get your own inventive juices flowing.What do you need to do to get yourself in the right frame of mind? When do you know that you've come up with something that might be worth pursuing? What do you do if you think you've hit a brick wall?Not only does he explain the way your mind works as you search for inspiration, he also shows that, regardless of the task you've set yourself, you can learn to be better at coming up with a promising idea, refining it and knowing when you're ready to act on it. We can all unlock new reserves of creativity within ourselves. John Cleese shows us how.____________________________'Humorous and practical ... Whether you're hoping to write a novel or paint a masterpiece, you're sure to feel inspired' OK Magazine'His candor is endearing ... An upbeat guide to the creative process' Kirkus'A jovial romp ... Cleese fans will enjoy, and writers and other artists will breeze through, picking up a few nuggets of wisdom along the way' The Festival Review'A sincere and thoughtful guide to creativity, and a very useful book' Graham Norton'Wise words on the serious business of being silly' Sunday Business Post

    The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!

    This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    So which does he choose? Despite his love of basalt, he chooses the career that teaches him how to kill... and sh*t in plastic bags.Knowing his weak body will have to shape up to complete thirty weeks of commando training, Mark prepares for the Royal Marines by sleeping in his shed wearing only plastic bags. He braves pain by ordering his mate to attack him while trapped in a sleeping bag. He starves himself in a stupid urban survival exercise, turning down the offer of crispy pancakes from his bewildered mother.He is ready.Some might say for the nut house...Often hilarious and yet shockingly sobering, this is the true story of a boy who joins one of the world's most elite military units with only naivety and incompetence equalling his will to succeed.'A cover to cover laughathon' - SOLDIER MAGAZINE

    The ultimate survival guide for starving artists, writers, performers — and anyone whose dreams can’t be contained by an office cubicle.Filled with down-to-earth advice and sustenance for your most far-flung dreams, The Lost Soul Companion is the perfect guide for anyone grappling with the darker side of creativity.A source of support when your day job gets you down, a refreshing reservoir of humor when you’re knee-deep in rejection slips, this remarkable little book offers both inspiration and compassion, plus surefire strategies for surviving in what can sometimes seem like “a world of meanies.”From the anti-procrastination “chopstick plan,” to the importance of staying well nourished (toaster-oven-snack recipes included), The Lost Soul Companion will speak to anyone with big dreams and creative spirit who nonetheless finds it tough some days just to get out of bed.

    Why cope with insecurities I don't already have?That last one's just me? All right, then.But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing Girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that's what this book is all about.The fact is, whether you're obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman's secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.

    (Women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply)."I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for." Jon RichardsonIs your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man.Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obsessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

    It is filled with quips and quotes that represent the Code of the West, like: "Always drink upstream from the herd" and "The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow."

    . . and then broke? How would you survive? Could you improve on humanity's original timeline? And how hard would it be to domesticate a giant wombat? With this book as your guide, you'll survive--and thrive--in any period in Earth's history. Bestselling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North shows you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted--from first principles. This illustrated manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up. Deeply researched, irreverent, and significantly more fun than being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, How to Invent Everything will make you smarter, more competent, and completely prepared to become the most important and influential person ever.

    The Universe, of course, is our own. And Roundworld is Earth. As the wizards watch their accidental creation grow, we follow the story of our universe from the primal singularity of the Big Bang to the Internet and beyond. Through this original Terry Pratchett story (with intervening chapters from Cohen and Stewart) we discover how puny and insignificant individual lives are against a cosmic backdrop of creation and disaster. Yet, paradoxically, we see how the richness of a universe based on rules, has led to a complex world and at least one species that tried to get a grip of what was going on.

    Her hilarious and deeply relatable look at the challenges of womanhood in a changing world became a cultural touchstone for women everywhere. Now Guisewite returns with her signature wit and warmth in this debut essay collection about another time of big transition, when everything starts changing and disappearing without permission: aging parents, aging children, aging self stuck in the middle.With her uniquely wry and funny admissions and insights, Guisewite unearths the humor and horror of everything from the mundane (trying to introduce her parents to TiVo and facing four decades' worth of unorganized photos) to the profound (finding a purpose post-retirement, helping parents downsize their lives, and declaring freedrom from all those things that hold us back). No longer confined to the limits of four comic panels, Guisewite holds out her hand in prose form and becomes a reassuring companion for those on the threshold of "what happens next." Heartfelt and humane and always cathartic, Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault is ideal reading for mothers, daughters, and anyone who is caught somewhere in between.

    Not one boyfriend. Not one short-term dating situation. Not one person with whom I regularly hung out and kissed on the face."So begins Katie Heaney's memoir of her years spent looking for love, but never quite finding it. By age 25, equipped with a college degree, a load of friends, and a happy family life, she still has never had a boyfriend ... and she's barely even been on a second date.Throughout this laugh-out-loud funny book, you will meet Katie's loyal group of girlfriends, including flirtatious and outgoing Rylee, the wild child to Katie's shrinking violet, as well as a whole roster of Katie's ill-fated crushes. And you will get to know Katie herself -- a smart, modern heroine relaying truths about everything from the subtleties of a Facebook message exchange to the fact that "Everybody who works in a coffee shop is at least a little bit hot."Funny, relatable, and inspiring, this is a memoir for anyone who has ever struggled to find love, but has also had a lot of fun in the process.