More than three hours of recordings in each collection capture the intimacy of live performance, with stories that are alternately exciting, poignant, and funny, making this the perfect accompaniment to any number of daily activities--driving, cooking, exercising, relaxing, or intently listening. Timeless Classics includes, among others, James Thurber's "The Night the Ghost Got In," read by Isaiah Sheffer; Edith Wharton's "Roman Fever," read by Maria Tucci; Jack London's "Make Westing," read by Steven Gilborn; D. H. Lawrence's "The Rocking Horse Winner," read by John Shea; Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery," read by Marian Seldes; Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game," read by Charles Keating; and Raymond Carver's "Cathedral," read by James Naughton.

    Volume 1 features all new and original stories from authors Joe R. Lansdale, John Skipp, Cody Goodfellow, Jeff Strand, J. F. Gonzalez, Stephen Mark Rainey, Nate Southard, Shane McKenzie and (in deluxe hardcover retail editions only) William Meikle. Each story is preceded by a full page/full bleed color illustration by artist Zach McCain. Table of Contents “Santa Explains” by Joe R. Lansdale “The Endless Black of Friday” by Nate Southard “Red Rage” by Stephen Mark Rainey “Pointy Canes” by Jeff Strand “Naughty” by Shane McKenzie “Krampusnacht in Cell Block J” by Cody Goodfellow “The Shittiest Guy in the World (A Christmas Fable)” by John Skipp “Belsnickel” by J. F. Gonzalez “The Color That Stole Christmas” by William Meikle (Deluxe Hardcover Editions Only)

    Well, maybe not too seriously. After all, the popular Chicks in Chainmail series wasn't known for stark drama and solemn think-pieces. In fact, they made a lot people laugh. And now the first three books in the series are combined in one volume.Chicks in Chainmail(The look at the lighter side of amazons that started it all.)Did You Say Chicks/(Smile when you say that, you wimpy noncombatant!)Chicks 'n Chained Males(Those men just can't take care of themselves, so send in the amazons!)It's all right to have a laugh or two. These rambunctious swordswomen like a good laugh as much as the next amazon. Just don't make them think you're laughing at them, instead of with them — if you know what's good for you...Stories of fierce female fighters by Harry Turtledove, Roger Zelazny, Elizabeth Moon, Jan and S. M. Stirling, K. D. Wentworth, Barbara Hambly, Elizabeth Ann Scarborough and more — including Esther Friesner herself.

    With contributors who are funny, fierce, and too smart to be anything but feminist, Bust is the original grrrl zine, with a base of loyal female fans--all those women who know that Glamour is garbage, Vogue is vapid, and Cosmo is clueless. The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order contains brand new, funny, sharp, trenchant essays along with some of the best writings from the magazine: Courtney Love's (unsolicited) piece on Bad Girls; the already immortal "Dont's For Boys"; an interview with girl-hero Judy Blume; and lots of other shocking, titillating, truthful articles. A kind of Our Bodies, Ourselves for Generation XX, The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order is destined to become required reading for today's hip urban girl and her admirers.

    Meet the Hokas!...the most lovable - and the zaniest - characters you'll ever encounter in the entire Universe! Imagine how you would feel to be suddenly shipwrecked on a planet 500 light-years from the Solar System - and to walk into a 19th century, Old West frontier town! And then, to really shake your senses, you find the local citizens - in tremendous red bandanas, ten-gallon hats, chaps, high-heel boots and spurs - are pistol-toting teddy bears!

    Some are humorous, some sad, some sublime. I have changed the names and in a few cases altered circumstances slightly to protect privacy as much as possible. I sincerely hope that with these measures - and with some of the details blurry enough in my memory - no one will recognize themselves or acquaintances, or take offense if they do.I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I appreciated having had the chance to live them. ~The Author

    Its five continents and numerous small islands were covered with rain forest and inhabited by amphibians and hordes of insects—very much like Terra during its Carboniferous Era. One large island was noticeably different, however, It had been terraformed by human colonists centuries earlier…colonists who had abandoned technology in order to re-create the medieval/renaissance culture of Old Earth, right down to the belief in magic and witches. And on Gramarye, those beliefs were not merely archaic superstitions; they were facts of life.Rod Gallowglass, agent for the Society for the Conversion of Extraterrestrial Nascent Totalitarianisms (SCENT, for short), had sniffed out the Lost Colony—and been amazed to discover it was a communications gold mine: a segment of the population were genuine espers. No matter that, in this particular anachronistic setting, they were known as witches and warlocks; they were telepaths, and with their ability to communicate instantaneously, regardless of distance, they would be invaluable to the Decentralized Democratic Tribunal which had created SCENT.It was Rod’s job to steer them gently in the right direction…to see that Gramarye’s monarchy gradually evolved among democratic lines. And, aided by an old family retainer named Fess—an antique robot whose brain he had placed in a black steel horse’s body—the agent was doing quite well. He had earned the Crown’s respect and, in recognition of his “powers,” been awarded the title “High Warlock.” He had also married a beautiful, gifted witch, and together they had begun a family—strange as it was to raise children who were capable of levitation and telekinesis, among other adorable tricks.But if Gramarye had strategic value for the DDT, it was equally important to the opponents of democracy. With all of the technology at their command—resources unknown on Gramarye—and no scruples about using it to distort the colony’s natural development, Rod’s enemies had a powerful advantage. And their insidious attacks could take any form. How, for instance, was a space-age Warlock supposed to combat deadly, real-life bogeymen…?It’s fast-paced fun and adventure—three complete novels in one volume: King Kobold Revived, The Warlock Unlocked and The Warlock Enraged.

    A cup full of tentacles mixed with existential nihilism and sprinkled with liberal quantities of gore, this is Lovecraftian horror with a bloody bent that few others have dared to explore. --Peter Rawlik, author of ReanimatorsThey called it the Event.The Event changed everything. The earthquakes came first, including the Big One, shattering the Pacific Rim and plunging the world into chaos. Then the seas came, the skies opened, and the never-ending rain began. But as bad as that was, there is something worse.The Rising has begun.A lone man who abandoned the world for his addictions searches a waterlogged Austin for something, anything to cling to. Little does he know that something else searches for him.In the Sonoran Desert, the downtrodden of the world search for a better life north of the border, only to see the desert become an ocean: an ocean that takes life and gives death.In the woods of Alabama, survivors escape to Fort Resistance, but soon discover that it isn't just the horrors of the deep places of the world that they need to fear; but rather a new and more deadly pestilence that has grown in their own ranks.In England, it's too late to fight, and all that's left is to survive. One man reaches for his own humanity, but what to do when humanity is an endangered species?And in the Pacific, He is rising.In The Abyssal Plain: The R'lyeh Cycle, authors William Holloway, Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason, Brett J. Talley, and Rich Hawkins have created a timely and uniquely modern reimagining of the Cthulhu Mythos.

    Although he has edited several anthologies of his favorite poems, this volume forges a new path for him, as a poet of light verse. He writes—with his characteristic combination of humor and insight—on love, modernity, nostalgia, politics, religion, and other facets of daily life. Keillor’s verses are charming and playful, locating sublime song within the humdrum of being human.

    Since then, McSweeney’s has attracted works from some of the finest writers in the country, including Denis Johnson, William T. Vollmann, Rick Moody, Joyce Carol Oates, Heidi Julavits, Jonathan Lethem, Michael Chabon, Ben Marcus, Susan Straight, Roddy Doyle, T. C. Boyle, Steven Millhauser, Gabe Hudson, Robert Coover, Ann Beattie, and many others.

     From the macabre to the mundane, from titillating to tender, these PsyCop shorts feature stolen moments between the novels. Get a glimpse of Vic’s life with Jacob between cases, from both men’s viewpoints. Gain new insight on their psychic talents by accompanying them on odd jobs, shopping runs and family visits, or simply enjoy some downtime in the cannery. The twenty short works range in length from flash fiction to novelettes, woven together to create a novel-length narrative of Vic and Jacob’s relationship from a fresh perspective. The stories are gleaned from various sources: anthologies, newsletters, and web, with four all-new pieces to tie the collection together and delve deeper into your favorite PsyCops' domestic life. Coffee O’Clock Thaw Mind Reader Stroke of Midnight No Sale Most Likely To… Jock Straps On Sale Piece of Cake In the Dark Let the Chips Fall Memento Impact Everyone’s Afraid of Clowns Waiting Game On the Road Wood Off the Cuff Locked and Loaded Inside Out Witness

    but true!

    An evil horde. A new darkness. And a man with exploding hands. "Fans of George Takei and Terry Pratchett will love this book and join me waiting impatiently for the next one. Go ahead, read it!" "Couldn't turn a page without a chuckle, a chortle or a good old fashioned guffaw!" "Funny, reminiscent of Robert Asprin, Douglas Adams, the best of Robert Heinlein" "This is an adventure story with bits of madness, magic, a budding bit of romance, and an air force wing of fighting chickens." Where two worlds meet, the jealous eyes of a Faerie King peer from the darkness as he gathers a slave army of subjugation Set against him and his dark horde is: Bill Strike, a naive, girl-shy youth with exploding hands, the girl he’s shy of, three witches, and a pioneer of chicken-powered aviation. Oh, and a sadistic young noble with a grudge against the universe. Myths & Magic is volume 1 of a humorous fantasy trilogy that features compelling characters, fantastical storylines, plot twists and a magical multiverse. And the occasional laugh. If you enjoy the Discworld novels of Terry Pratchett, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams or anything by Neil Gaiman, then you’ll love this new fantasy series. Download the book today to begin exploring. Note: this is a revised version of Strike First: A Comic Fantasy with all new typos.

    Is it serious movie discussion? Is it funny? Do the writers know what the hell they are talking about? Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes. OK, that’s too many Yes’s but you get the point.  Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini, both professional filmmakers and comedians, created Comedyfilmnerds.com to mind meld the idea of real movie talk and real funny. And they called in all of their professionally funny and filmy friends to help them. Comedians and writers who have been on everything from the Tonight Show to having their own comedy specials tell you what’s what on their favorite film genres.  While "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is funny and informative, each film genre is given a personal touch. All of the Comedy Film Nerds have a love of film and a personal connection to each genre.  Read about a love of film from an insider’s perspective.  "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is for the movie lover with a good sense of humor.

    His five novels–collected here in one volume–are a monument to his inspired lunacy and gleefully demented genius. O’Brien’s masterpiece, At Swim-Two-Birds, is an exuberant literary send-up and one of the funniest novels of the twentieth century. The novel’s narrator is writing a novel about another man writing a novel, in a Celtic knot of interlocking stories. The riotous cast of characters includes figures “stolen” from Gaelic legends, along with assorted students, fairies, ordinary Dubliners, and cowboys, some of whom try to break free of their author’s control and destroy him. The narrator of The Third Policeman, who has forgotten his name, is a student of philosophy who has committed murder and wanders into a surreal hell where he encounters such oddities as the ghost of his victim, three policeman who experiment with space and time, and his own soul (who is named “Joe”). The Poor Mouth, a bleakly hilarious portrait of peasants in a village dominated by pigs, potatoes, and endless rain, is a giddy parody aimed at those who would romanticize Gaelic culture. A naïve young orphan narrates the deadpan farce The Hard Life, and The Dalkey Archive is an outrageous satiric fantasy featuring a mad scientist who uses relativity to age his whiskey, a policeman who believes men can turn into bicycles, and an elderly, bar-tending James Joyce. With a new Introduction by Keith Donohue