Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

    Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.

    Part memoir and part self-help guide, this very personal story traces the private struggles that Ellis faced from early childhood to well into his adult life. Whether you are already familiar with Ellis’s many best-selling psychology books or are discovering his work for the first time, you will gain many insights into how to deal with your problems by seeing how Ellis learned to cope with his own serious challenges.In his early life, Ellis was faced with a major physical disability, chronic nephritis, which plagued him from age five to nine and led to hospitalization. This experience then caused the emotional reaction of separation anxiety. At this time he also suffered from severe, migraine-like headaches, which persisted into his forties. Later in life, he realized that some of his emotional upset was the result of initially taking parental neglect too seriously. Active and energetic by nature, he gradually learned that the best way to cope with any problem, physical or emotional, was to stop "catastrophizing" and to do something to correct it.As Ellis points out in all of his work, when faced with adversity, we must realize that we have a real choice, either to think rationally about the problem or to react irrationally. The first choice leads to healthy consequences—normal emotions such as sorrow, regret, frustration, or annoyance, which are justifiable reactions to troubling situations. The second choice leads to the unhealthy consequences of anxiety, depression, rage, and low self-esteem. When we recognize irrational beliefs as such, we must then use our reason to dispute their validity. Ellis goes on to describe how these techniques helped him to cope with many other adult emotional problems, including failure in love affairs, shame, anger, distress over his parents’ divorce, stress from others’ reactions to his atheistic convictions, and upset due to his attitudes about academic and professional setbacks.Honest and unflinching yet always positive and forward-looking, Ellis demonstrates how to gain and grow from trying experiences through rational thinking.

    Yet the dynamic between therapist and client remains an enigma. In Tales of Un-Knowing, Ernesto Spinelli presents eight tales of a therapeutic approach that has proven highly effective in assisting troubled individuals in confronting the problems of everyday life. According to Spinelli, therapy at its most fundamental level involves the act of revealing and reassessing the life stories that clients tell themselves in order to establish or maintain meaning in their lives. The role of the therapist is not only to listen, but to help the client to explicate and reconstruct this life story.Tales of Un-Knowing presents the lives of eight individuals whose experiences illuminate a variety of dilemmas and anxieties that most of us encounter at different points in our lives. We meet a man who refuses to grow old gracefully, a woman who fears that she is only loved for her body, and an octogenarian who lives simultaneously in the present and in the past. We also meet Giles, whose obsessive identification with Einstein led him to theorize about his sex until it became a living mathematics full of enthralling permutations and combinations. In the course of the book Spinelli tackles head on the last great taboo of therapeutic practice--sexual attraction between therapist and client.Existential therapy, then, requires that the therapist experience life through the client's eyes. This frequently leads to challenges to the therapist's own ways of being, and the underlying values, beliefs, and assumptions that maintain them. The term un-knowing refers to the challenge to the therapist, who must force him or herself to remain open to new interpretations of that which is familiar, and to treat the seemingly familiar as novel, unfixed in meaning, and accessible to previously unexamined possibilities.

    As in other areas of social sciences, some Muslim thinkers and scholars have developed an amazing skill for the unthinking repetition and blind copying of Western, non-Islamic ideas and practices. “In the Lizard’s Hole” is a Prophetic epitaph that describes this activity very well. Some Muslim psychologists insist dogmatically on prying even into lizard’s holes that have been partly or totally abandoned by their Western counterparts. But do Muslims really need modern psychology at all? Is modern psychology wholly Western? Is there a way in which it could be reconciled with Islam? These burning questions lie lurking behind the dilemma of Muslim psychologists.

    And yet, it is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved--the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and wayward spouse. With all that sadness, why do people have affairs? And once that trust is broken, how can a couple reconcile? In Surviving an Affair, Drs. Harley and Chalmers help readers understand and survive every aspect of infidelity. They describe the most common types of affairs, the reasons they begin and end, the best way to end them, and the best way to restore marriage after an affair. Most importantly, the authors help readers survive the entire ordeal by providing them with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for a loving and trusting marital relationship. (137)

    Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: —Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men —Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage —Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children

    She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

    The territory of the mind and of madness can seem a foreign, even frightening place—until you read Welcome to My Country.Writing in a powerful and original voice, Lauren Slater closes the distance between "us" and "them," transporting us into the country of Lenny, Moxi, Oscar, and Marie. She lets us watch as she interacts with and strives to understand patients suffering from mental and emotional distress—the schizophrenic, the depressed, the suicidal. As the young psychologist responds to, reflects on, and re-creates her interactions with the inner realities of the dispossessed, she moves us to a deeper understanding of the complexities of the human mind and spirit. And then, in a stunning final chapter, the psychologist confronts herself, when she is asked to treat a young woman, bulimic and suicidal, who is on the same ward where Slater herself was once such a patient.Like An Unquiet Mind, Listening to Prozac and Girl, Interrupted, Welcome to My Country is a beautifully written, captivating, and revealing book, an unusual personal and professional memoir that brings us closer to understanding ourselves, one another, and the human condition.

    It resists self-help and undermines even intensive psychoanalysis.　 Patricia A. DeYoung's cutting-edge book gives chronic shame the serious attention it deserves, integrating new brain science with an inclusive tradition of relational psychotherapy. She looks behind the myriad symptoms of shame to its relational essence. As DeYoung describes how chronic shame is wired into the brain and developed in personality, she clarifies complex concepts and makes them available for everyday therapy practice.　 Grounded in clinical experience and alive with case examples, Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame is highly readable and immediately helpful. Patricia A. DeYoung's clear, engaging writing helps readers recognize the presence of shame in the therapy room, think through its origins and effects in their clients' lives, and decide how best to work with those clients. Therapists will find that Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame enhances the scope of their practice and efficacy with this client group, which comprises a large part of most therapy practices. Challenging, enlightening, and nourishing, this book belongs in the library of every shame-aware therapist.

    Fast Food for the Soul   We are what we think. We can change our lives by changing our thoughts. Our thoughts and words are all-powerful. Through our thoughts and words, we create our lives.   In this simple yet important book, Barbara Berger shows you how to harness the power of the mind to create the life you want. She reminds us of what is available to us - from the power of release and saying no to focusing, blessing, and giving. And she offers fast, effective techniques for solving health problems, financial difficulties, and other life challenges. Give your soul a boost and your heart a pick-me-up - when you change your thinking, you will ultimately change your life.   Decide on the life you want, visualize it, affirm it, decree it, focus on it, believe it, have faith in it, and you will find yourself living this life much sooner and faster than you ever dreamed possible.

    These poor reading habits hold us back, and it’s why so many people don’t enjoy reading. You see, your brain is a lot like Goldilocks. When you read too slow, your mind wanders, you get distracted, and reading feels like a chore. When you try to read too fast, you can't comprehend what you're reading. The key is to read at the right speed using the best reading strategies for your learning type. In this short read, you’ll discover proven strategies to read faster without having to: Practice speed-reading techniques for hours and hours Skim text and risk missing crucial information Read cliff notes or shortened versions of a book This book combines the best lessons from speed reading techniques, neuroscience, and modern technology to allow you to read faster and comprehend more than you ever thought possible—and you can start to see the results today! Say Goodbye to Slow Reading Forever! I was always a slow reader. I could never focus long enough to read an entire book. I often forgot what I had just read, and had to re-read sentences over and over again. Reading was a frustrating, slow, and painful experience, so I tried to make up for my poor reading skills by studying more and working harder. But studying hard will only get you so far when you're using the wrong strategies. I wanted to be able to read more, learn more, and, most importantly, remember more of what I was reading. If you’ve quit reading more books than you can remember because of boredom or frustration, this book will change your life—and every book from now on will be a “quick read” for you. Everything changed when I developed a better way to read entire books very fast… Incredible Reading Results in 7 Days I was able to read four large books in my first week of using these methods. In Read Better Faster: How to Triple Your Reading Speed and Comprehension Without Speed Reading, Skimming, or Skipping you will discover: The exact methods anyone can use to read books faster than you ever imagined Never again struggle to finish a book, no matter how big or complex it is Start reading (and finishing) more books your friends and colleagues recommend to you How to guarantee laser-focused reading so you never have to re-read or forget what you just read How to comprehend and retain everything you read using a method that forces your brain to turn what you read into long-term memory storage How to accelerate your ability to learn more by reading faster and remembering more information than ever before This book is perfect for you if: You need to study for an exam, improve your grades, or do better in school You need to learn new business skills to improve your career or company You want to easily breeze through your favorite fiction books so you can enjoy reading even more You’ve always wanted to read more books but just can’t find the time or struggle to get through a book I encourage you to in

    In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

    It is the follow up to the UK best-seller, Anxiety: Panicking about Panic, where psychotherapist, Joshua Fletcher MSc, discusses ways to approach dealing with the symptoms of anxiety, such as panic attacks and constant worry. Fletcher draws upon his academic knowledge, as well as his personal experiences of living with and working with anxiety disorders, to facilitate the reader to build the foundations for their own recovery.

    This new edition is written in a deliberate manner that has students following the program planning process in a logical manner. Students will learn to track one phase to the next, resulting in a solid understanding of the issues of internal consistency and planning integrity. The book′s format guides students from problem analysis through evaluation, enabling students to apply these concepts to their own program plans.