Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

    Dan Kennedy is ten years old and wants a black Gibson Les Paul guitar, the kind Peter Frampton plays. It will be his passport to the coolest (only) band in the neighborhood—Jokerz. He doesn’t get it. Instead, his parents present him with what they think he wants most, a real-estate loan calculator (called the Loan Arranger) and a maroon velour pullover shirt with a tan stripe across the chest. It is the first of what will become a lifetime of various-sized failures, misunderstandings, comical humiliations, and just plain silly choices that have dogged this “hipster Proust of youthful loserdom,” as author Jerry Stahl has so eloquently called Mr. Kennedy.Dan’s hilarious and painfully awkward youth soon develops into a . . . uh . . . hilarious and painfully awkward adulthood. His first two choices for university are Yale (Lit or Drama) and Harvard (Business), so he reviews his high school transcripts and decides on Butte Community College in Oroville, California, where he studies for about four and a half weeks. We could go on here and describe in detail all of Dan’s good-natured stabs at ambition, but he, himself, sums it all up quite nicely: “If you’ve ever tried and failed miserably at being a rock star (no guitar/talent), a professional bass fisherman, an extra in the movie Sleepless in Seattle (guy drinking martini in bar while Tom Hanks makes a phone call), a Madison Avenue advertising executive, a clerk/towel person at a suburban health club (named Kangaroo Kourts), an espresso street-cart owner and operator (in the one neighborhood of that coffee-swilling town, Seattle, where, remarkably, no one really seems to drink coffee), a dot.com millionaire, an MTV VJ, or a forest fire fighter, this book is for you.” Along the way, a few lessons are learned and we are treated to one of the most original, riotously funny, unsentimental, and offbeat memoirs in recent history. Dan’s a favorite in McSweeney’s and at the very popular Moth readings in New York City. We should be happy that he failed so miserably at so many things—and took notes!

    Want to remember what it was like to be young and angry? Buy this book. A great read.’ - Phil Davis (Actor Chalky in Quadrophenia)‘Written in first person narrative, in a style and delivery reminiscent of Hunter S Thompson.’ - Scootering Magazine‘It’s a good book and an easy read. That’s pretty much what most pulp fiction needs to be.’ - Mod Culture‘A coming of age story, ‘A Crafty Cigarette’ maybe Matteo Sedazzari’s debut novel but it’s an impressive story.’ - Vive Le Rock‘Like a good Paul Weller concert the novel leaves you wanting more. I’ll be very interested in reading whatever Matteo Sedazzari writes next.’ - Louder Than WarA Crafty Cigarette is the powerful story of a teenager coming of age in the 70s as seen through his eyes, who on the cusp of adulthood, discovers a band that is new to him, which leads him into becoming a Mod. A mischievous youth prone to naughtiness, he takes to mod like a moth to a flame, which in turn gives him a voice, confidence and a fresh new outlook towards life, his family, his school friends, girls and the world in general. Growing up in Sunbury –on-Thames where he finds life rather dull and hard to make friends, he moves across the river with his family to Walton –on –Thames in 1979, the year of the Mod Revival, where to his delight he finds many other Mods his age and older, and slowly but surely he starts to become accepted....

    What doesn’t he get? Just about everything. That’s why he walks around with a little camera attached to his glasses that records his entire life. Then he watches it all later to try to figure out the things he didn’t get before – which, as you’ll recall, is just about everything – and he makes a weekly video blog for all to see. Unfortunately, Hugh’s cluelessness leads him to run for Student Council President. Even his little sister knows that this school election thing is just “not him”, but Hugh, as always, has to find out the hard way. At least Hugh’s campaign gets him the attention of the very confident, very pretty – and very intimidating – Molly MacLaine. But will Molly be able to help Hugh survive his disastrous campaign, or will he crash and burn… and bring the whole school down with him? If you like the Middle School series and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, you’ll love HughTube. This book is for anybody who’s ever been baffled by the secrets, contradictions and unwritten rules of middle school. Tweens and teens will easily relate to the comic mishaps of our hapless hero. This funny coming of age, middle grade story is the first in a series, so if you like it, there's more to come! Don't forget to look for the surprise after Chapter 1!

    Each piece has been carefully selected and simplified to help students develop their skills. The special arrangements also offer novices the pleasure and satisfaction of playing music that's usually beyond their grasp — and free MP3 downloads of each tune make mastering the music even easier.Some of the master composers are represented by several pieces each: nine works by Bach include Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring; Mozart's Rondo alla Turca appears along with eight other selections from his oeuvre; seven by Chopin include Funeral March; the "Emperor" Concerto, Ode to Joy, and "Für Elise" are among the eight Beethoven features; and eight by Tchaikovsky include Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from The Nutcracker. Other well-known pieces include Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 by Liszt, Brahms' "Lullaby," Morning Mood by Grieg, Haydn's "Surprise" Symphony, plus compositions by Schubert, Verdi, Debussy, Handel, Mendelssohn, and others.

    He has played everyone from Ned Ryerson in "Groundhog Day" to Sandy Ryerson in "Glee." He has amused thousands with his true stories on "The Tobolowsky Files" at Slashfilm.com. Here he shares some homespun philosophy and more true stories that prove tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll are often the most humiliating and almost always the most enjoyable.

    A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.

    If he occasionally implores a biographer for brevity, or abandons a literary work in favour of an Arsenal match, then all is not lost. His writing, full of all the joy and surprise and despair that books bring him, reveals why we still read, even when there's football on TV, a pram in the hall or a good band playing at our local pub.

    The player is then guided through elementary daily exercises and eventually introduced to major and minor scales with complimentary short pieces which makes use of the appropriate scale progression. This tutor also includes a very useful dictionary of musical terms.

    Now she had everything she wanted—until the nightmare began at Morton General Hospital.THE CRIMELicensed practical nurse Anne Capute administered a fatal dose of morphine to a dying patient, Norma Leanues. Anne claimed she was following common practice at Morton General, with a verbal approval by Dr. Hillier, to administer unrestricted doses of morphine as a humane antidote to the unbearable suffering of terminal cases.THE CHARGEOne day after the death of Mrs. Leanues, Dr. Hillier was off on a European vacation, and Anne Capute was suspended. Three days later she was advised to retain a lawyer—she would be standing trial for first degree murder.THE TRIALOne after another, doctors and nurses with whom Anne had worked so closely testified against her. And the most damaging prosecution witness of all was Dr. Hillier. Suddenly Anne’s life’s dream was destroyed. And as her personal life, too, began to shatter, there remained little hope of acquittal—or justice.Anne Capute: A woman on trial for her life. One dedicated nurse battling against the vast influence of the medical establishment. Hers is a true story of courage, drama, and penetrating suspense that no reader will soon forget.

    easily as funny, as self-deprecating and as wordly-wise as The Moon's a Balloon by David Niven ... it's like Tom and Jerry written by a Cockney Roddy Doyle on Prozac. But funnier' GQ Online on Going Off Alarming 'Rattles along at the same delightful and dizzying pace as its predecessor ... Baker loves a tale told at his own expense and they come thick and fast. He writes like he speaks, with hyperactive garrulity and a rhetorical flourish ... there is something about Baker in full flow that is affirming' Daily Telegraph on Going Off Alarming Danny Baker is a national treasure with a well-documented - thanks to the recent eight-part BBC TV adaptation - and colourful life. For over a quarter of a century he has amused and entertained audiences on both radio and television. Beginning his career at the age of 15 in a small record shop in the London's West End, Danny went on to become an acclaimed music journalist, and started his radio career on BBC GLR in 1989. With a unique take on life and a lot to say, Danny's latest book is full of his trademark warmth, wit and insight.

    Vocal selections from the uproarious Broadway production that won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2005. Songs include: All for One * Always Look on the Bright Side of Life * Brave Sir Robin * Come with Me * Find Your Grail * Fisch Schlapping Dance * He Is Not Dead Yet * His Name Is Lancelot * I'm All Alone * King Arthur's Song * Knights of the Round Table * Laker Girls Cheer * Monks Chant * Run Away! * The Song That Goes Like This * Whatever Happened to My Part? * Where Are You? * You Won't Succeed on Broadway. Includes five pages of color photos.

    Includes a "How-To" CD.

    With his gorgeous, successful wife, Jenny, his country pile, and gold discs hanging in his plush bathroom, he seems to have it all. But all is not well between Jenny and Solomon; as her business continues to grow, her affection for her husband begins to diminish, and soon divorce is on the cards. To try and win Jenny back, Solomon throws his bruised heart into trying out for a reality TV show that turns lapsed pop acts into opera singers. The ace up his sleeve is an eccentric octogenarian opera coach he employs to get ahead of the competition but, to his surprise, Solomon learns far more than how to improve the quality of his vibrato; especially when his coach asks Solomon to duet with newly single Samantha... Sex, Drugs & Opera is the debut novel of Tears for Fears musician, Roland Orzabal.

    I Hate it Here comes an all-new, even more outrageous and laugh-out-loud funny collection of real letters written by children ages eight to sixteen to their parents about their adventures at summer camp. Written with the same wit and honesty that made the first book a runaway hit, these new letters take the reader on a familiar adventure that conjures up the experience of being away from home, and the hilarious and lasting memories that accompany that special place called sleepaway camp.