Oh, the form it takes may vary-firestorm, earthquake, plague, new ice age, alien invasion, nuclear cloud, or the rise of our machines-but everyone who survives will be starting over at Square One. Your needs won't be that different from today's: food, shelter, work, finances, relationships, 24-hour cable.... But you'll have more raw materials to deal with. Apocalypse How is the humorous how-to-guide to living your best life possible (after the Apocalypse renders your current quality of life null and void.) Organized like a travel or lifestyle guide, the book tells you all you need to know in order to fend off zombies, forge for non-radioactive food, and make the most of your new dwelling (while ignoring the ash outline of its previous occupants on the far wall.)This handy volume includes such essential sections as: What to Expect When We're Exploding Before We Blow: Your Essential To-Hoard List Should You Stay or Should You Flee? Questionnaire Sex, Love, and Dating: What if You Are the Last Man on Earth? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Petty Tyrants The Apocalyptic Aptitude Test Apocalypse How is guaranteed to be of use in the world to come. It also makes a handy defense weapon if thrown, and firestarter if needed.

    A screaming baby on an airplane, no diapers (!), monsters hiding in the closet, a long family car trip, the first date—these are the high-risk adventures you need to survive. Fortunately, the authors of the phenomenally best-selling Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series now keep parents safe, from cradle to teens. Hands-on, step-by-step instructions show you how to remove objects stuck in a child's nose or gum stuck in hair, and how to survive endless soccer games, slumber parties, and sleep deprivation. From baby-proofing the house to dealing with a dead pet, from the perils of the play-date to explaining about the birds and the bees, this essential guide tells parents what to really expect when your worst-case scenario is all in the family.

    Tales from the Dugout brings together never-before-told stories from baseball personalities such as Roger Maris, Ken Griffey Jr., Pete Rose, Phil Rizzuto, and Gaylord Perry in this illustrated, one-of-a-kind compendium.

    Next, Homer squares off against Diamond Joe Quimby when he runs for mayor. And when the kids from Springfield form their own boy band, nobody's eardrums are safe. Then watch the oven mitts come off when Smithers moves in and starts catering to Homer's every need ... leaving Marge out in the cold. And read all about it when Bart makes headlines and learns the true meaning of yellow journalism. Cap it all off with a story of biblical proportions, and you've got one bronco–bustin', banjo–pluckin', cattle–rustlin', moonshinin', hog–tossin', tobacky–spittin', mule kickin', cousin–kissin' collection that'll have you promenadin' across the floor at the next ice–cream social. This big, burstin' barrel o' fun will have you plum–tuckered out from laughter.

    The author of the best-selling Mouse Tales: A Behind-the-Ears Look at Disneyland reveals how Walt Disney's City of Tomorrow evolved into a sprawling resort where?despite extraordinary efforts to control every aspect of the show?everything doesn't always go according to script.

    From the appearance in 1936 of Kenneth Patchen's first book, the voice of this great poet has been protesting war and social injustice, satirizing the demeaning and barbarous inanities of our culture--entrancing us with an inexhaustible flow of humor and fantasy.

    But what about those special situations that every girl encounters—the wince-inducing, hair-curling dilemmas and debacles that can rattle even the most fabulous woman to her core? For those times when perfect table manners won’t save the day, The Fabulous Girl’s Guide to Grace Under Pressure offers a crash course in extreme etiquette—a scenario-by-scenario, must-have manual for surviving the stickiest, trickiest situations that come your way. What should you do if you catch your boyfriend in bed with another woman? What if that woman is your best friend? What happens if you get a bit too tipsy at your company party and make an inappropriate comment to your boss? Tackling all areas of urban life—from the workplace, to friendships, to sex and courtship—authors Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh show you how to overcome even the most excruciating circumstances with the Audrey Hepburn-esque style and finesse that are the hallmark of the Fabulous Girl. You’ll learn how to gracefully handle predicaments such as: • Your ex-boyfriend becomes famous• Your credit card is declined while you’re dining with a client• Your assistant is trying to get your job• You get caught having broom-closet sex with a coworker• You catch your friends complaining about you• Your shopping buddy gets caught shoplifting• You decide to call off your wedding at the last minuteNo matter how poised and well-mannered you are, the adventurous life of a Fabulous Girl inevitably leads to a few high-stakes dilemmas. Charming, witty, and eminently practical, The Fabulous Girl’s Guide to Grace Under Pressure arms you with the know-how to stylishly deal with whatever insanity life throws your way—and remain fabulous throughout it all.

    All the stories are true and links are provided to the original news source. Yes, people can be very irrational, but it's entertaining. Enjoy.

    I THINK.In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.

    It's my fault for falling for a filthy rich and obscenely handsome Manhattan type.Silly of me to think Preston had something more beneath his immaculate suit than just a chiseled body.But what a body. I still wake up sweating from dreams about the night we shared.I thought knowing I'll never experience one again was torture enough. I was wrong. Because working with him every single day is definitely worse. I hate that he thinks he can order me around or that he still thinks I belong to him.And I really hate that he stays late in the office when I try to bury myself in work to stop thinking about him.Most of all though, I hate seeing glimpses of the man I once believed he was.Hints of true passion and charm beneath Mr. Billionaire's stone-cold demeanor. But it doesn't matter how many evenings we spend together in the office. There is absolutely no way I'm falling for him again. No cheating, no cliffhangers. HEA guaranteed!

    His memoir begins with surprising and often moving stories of his early life—his time at the Spanish & Portuguese Jewish Orphanage in Maida Vale, fighting fascists in London's East End, and fighting in the army of the fledgling state of Israel in the late 1940s. He then discusses his extraordinary career, during which he cut the hair of everyone who was anyone—including Mary Quant, Grace Coddington, Twiggy, Rita Hayworth, and Mia Farrow; launched salons all over the world; founded the hairdressing school that still bears his name; and became a global brand. He also shares the passions that drive him—architecture and beautiful women, Israel and anti-Semitism, family ties and season tickets at Chelsea. The compelling memoir of a genuine fashion icon who reinvented the art of hairdressing.

    Yet most of us utter that sound every day. And have used it all our lives...Uh-oh is way up near the top of a list of small syllables with large meanings...Uh-oh...is a frame of mind. A philosophy. It says to expect the unexpected., and also expect to be able to deal with it as it happens most of the time. Uh-oh people seem not only to expect surprise, but they count on it, as if surprise were a dimension of vitality."These words from the opening of Uh-oh describe a special vitality that, in fact, infuses the writings of Robert Fulghum with the incomparable joie de vivre and sense of wonder that have made his books, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It, modern classic, translated into twenty-five languages.In this third volume, Fulghum explores a variety of subjects from both sides of the refrigerator door—from meatloaf to the Salvation Army Band, from fireflies to funerals, from hiccups to a watch without hands. One again, Fulghum celebrates everyday life in all its richness, subtly weaving a theme of balance throughout, balance between the mundane and the holy, between humor and grief, and between what is and what might be.

    tomorrow morning, you could wake up as a full grown rhinoceros and - * charge your way to success * use audacity to reach your goals * be happier than you've ever been before * make your life an exciting adventure * have the persistence and tenacity necessary for success * never worry again * succeed at the world's most profitable hobby * achieve more and have a better balance in the six major areas of your life: FINANCIAL, WORK, PHYSICAL, FAMILY, SOCIAL AND SPIRITUAL Scott Alexander has discovered the REAL secret of success: becoming a rhinoceros. Read it and go rhino! That's all there is between you and everything you've ever wanted to do or become in your life. CHARGE!!

    And it can't be that hard, can it? Andrea lost ten pounds in less than a month. But Andrea's starting to act weird. Today she even fainted in class. Lauren's worried. Andrea says she's dying to be thin - but just how far will she go?

    Now, Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner return with SuperFreakonomics, and fans and newcomers alike will find that the freakquel is even bolder, funnier, and more surprising than the first.Four years in the making, SuperFreakonomics asks not only the tough questions, but the unexpected ones: What's more dangerous, driving drunk or walking drunk? Why is chemotherapy prescribed so often if it's so ineffective? Can a sex change boost your salary?SuperFreakonomics challenges the way we think all over again, exploring the hidden side of everything with such questions as:How is a street prostitute like a department-store Santa?Why are doctors so bad at washing their hands?How much good do car seats do?What's the best way to catch a terrorist?Did TV cause a rise in crime?What do hurricanes, heart attacks, and highway deaths have in common?Are people hard-wired for altruism or selfishness?Can eating kangaroo save the planet?Which adds more value: a pimp or a Realtor?Levitt and Dubner mix smart thinking and great storytelling like no one else, whether investigating a solution to global warming or explaining why the price of oral sex has fallen so drastically. By examining how people respond to incentives, they show the world for what it really is – good, bad, ugly, and, in the final analysis, super freaky.Freakonomics has been imitated many times over – but only now, with SuperFreakonomics, has it met its match.