Lunatics


Dave Barry - 2012
    The other is a winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Together, they form the League of Comic Justice, battling evildoers in the name of . . . Okay, we made that line up. What they do form is a writing team of pure comic genius, and they will have you laughing like idiots.Philip Horkman is a happy man-the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really bad day. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, terrorists, subversives, bears, and a man dressed as Chuck E. Cheese.Where that all takes them you can't begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration and mayhem. But what else would you expect from the League of Comic Justice?

The Panda, the Cat and the Dreadful Teddy: A Parody


Paul Magrs - 2021
    You will find us living our best lives, trying (and occasionally succeeding) to be kind to each other. The cat is quite nice but can be a little bit selfish. Teddy can come across as very nice, with his squeaky voice and looking so tiny and helpless. But I must warn you, Teddy can be a vicious little backstabber, actually.This is a book of nice illustrations and some words from which you will likely gain some sort of inspiration. Like:‘Just because you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re failing… But it might do.’‘Nothing beats kindness,’ said the cat. ‘Gin does’, said Panda.‘If you don’t stop saying inspirational things to me, I’m going to punch you up the hooter.’‘You OK, hun?’ asked Panda, but he was just taking the piss.‘We’re just so, so lucky to have each other as friends, and it’s going to make a marvellous book.’

I, Maybot: The Rise and Fall


John Crace - 2017
    Stumble for short.' 'Kim Jong-May awkward and incredulous as journalist asks question.' 'Supreme leader produces pure TV Valium on The One Show.' Throughout 2017 John Crace, the Guardian's parliamentary sketch writer, has watched Prime Minister Theresa May's efforts to remain strong and stable - and, indeed, Prime Minister. He coined the term 'Maybot' for her malfunctioning public appearances. And now, in this edited collection of his unremittingly witty sketches, he tells the full story of Theresa May's turbulent first year in Westminster. As waspishly hilarious as Craig Brown's diaries in Private Eye, I, Maybot is essential and hysterically funny reading for anyone trying to make sense of our crazy political year.

A Pug's Guide to Etiquette


Gemma Correll - 2013
    Pugs play by their own set of rules. When you want them to sit, they stand; when you want them to stay, they go; and when you want them to stop eating that unidentified item on the floor, well...Traditional schools of canine thought put this behaviour down to a stubborn refusal to be trained that's inherent in the bred. Not so. This behaviour is, in fact, down to an ancient set of rules, passed down from pug generation to pug generation. A Pug's Guide to Etiquette attempts to explain these rules, thereby advancing pug-human relations to hitherto unprecedented heights.

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops


Jen Campbell - 2012
    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat


Suzy Becker - 1990
    "Know all the sunny places.""Flaunt your hair loss.""Get mad when you're stepped on.""Take some time to eat the flowers.""Be tolerant-but not overly accommodating.""Make your own hours.""Scratch when it itches.""Depend on others without losing your independence.""Avoid company you do not like."Altogether, here are over 90 simple life lessons, irresistibly illustrated in full-color. Proving what all cat fanciers suspect about their own pets, Suzy Becker's cat is a fount of wisdom. The book covers everything from grooming, health, and diet to being completely well-adjusted, and imparts perhaps the most valuable piece of advice a cat could give: "There is always time for a nap."

James Herriot's Dog Stories


James Herriot - 1986
    The warm and joyful memoirs of his life as a country vet in Yorkshire have endeared him to countless readers around the world, and many of his most memorable tales featured man's best friend.Here are the complete dog stories from his much-beloved memoirs: a handsome collection of tales, available for the first time in trade paperback, that will warm the hearts of dog lovers around the world. Featuring a special introduction by the author and his own accompanying notes to each specially illustrated story, this tribute from man to dog is a volume no Herriot fan will want to be without.

The Complete Chi's Sweet Home, Part 1


Kanata Konami - 2015
    A multiple New York Times Best Seller and two-time winner of the Manga.Ask.Com Awards for Best Children's Manga, Konami Kanata's tale of a lost kitten has been acclaimed by readers worldwide as an excellent example of a comic that has truly been accepted by readers of all-ages.Presented in a brand new larger omnibus format, this edition compiles nearly 480 pages of Kitty cartoon tales, including two never before translated shorts from Konami Kanata's FukuFuku franchise, making The Complete Chi's Sweet Home a must have for every cat lover out there.Contains volumes 1-2-3 and three bonus cat comics!Chi is a michievous newborn kitten who, while on a leisurely stroll with her family, finds herself lost. Seperated from the warmth and protection of her mother, feels distraught. Overcome with loneliness she breaks into tears in a large urban park meadow., when she is suddenly rescued by a young boy named Yohei and his mother. The kitty is then quickly and quietly whisked away into the warm and inviting Yamada family apartment…where pets are strictly not permitted.

The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes


Bill Watterson - 1992
    A tiger whose idea of adventure is to lie on his back by the fire and have his stomach rubbed. In six short years this unlikely duo has captured the hearts, the minds, and, most of all, the funny bones of America. They are the most phenomenal success story in syndication - and publishing - history. In only six years, they appear in more than 2,100 newspapers worldwide, and Calvin and Hobbes wins as many readership polls as Calvin has excesses. All seven of Bill Watterson's collections have sold a million copies within a year of publication.This treasury collection contains a never-before-published full-color section, as well as the cartoons appearing in The Revenge of the Baby-Sat and Scientific Progress Goes "Boink." All Sunday cartoons are presented full-page and full-color.

The Hippopotamus


Stephen Fry - 1994
    Ted Wallace is an old, sour, womanising, cantankerous, whisky-sodden beast of a failed poet and drama critic, but he has his faults too.Fired from his newspaper, months behind on his alimony payments and disgusted with a world that undervalues him, Ted seeks a few months repose and free drink at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Lord Logan.But strange things have been going on at Swafford.  Miracles, Healings, Phenomena beyond the comprehension of a mud-caked hippopotamus like Ted...

Three Men in a Boat


Jerome K. Jerome - 1889
    Jerome's Three Men in a Boat includes an introduction and notes by Jeremy Lewis in Penguin Classics.Martyrs to hypochondria and general seediness, J. and his friends George and Harris decide that a jaunt up the Thames would suit them to a 'T'. But when they set off, they can hardly predict the troubles that lie ahead with tow-ropes, unreliable weather forecasts and tins of pineapple chunks - not to mention the devastation left in the wake of J.'s small fox-terrier Montmorency. Three Men in a Boat was an instant success when it appeared in 1889, and, with its benign escapism, authorial discursions and wonderful evocation of the late-Victorian 'clerking classes', it hilariously captured the spirit of its age.In his introduction, Jeremy Lewis examines Jerome K. Jerome's life and times, and the changing world of Victorian England he depicts - from the rise of a new mass-culture of tabloids and bestselling novels to crazes for daytripping and bicycling.

The Rules of Modern Policing - 1973 Edition


Gene Hunt - 2007
    A fascinating historical document has now emerged which shows that there were indeed rules and in 1973 they were recorded on paper by none other than DCI Gene Hunt himself.Divided into ten sections, The Rules of Modern Policing - 1973 Edition covers everything from interrogating suspects and undercover operations to driving and dress code. Several of the rules are illustrated with diagrams, and photographs of DCI Hunt himself illustrate the more physical parts of the job: how to hit suspects so you don't leave a mark; how to signal the importance of your arrival by crashing into inanimate objects (cardboard boxes are a perfect example here - lots of noise; no damage to your motor); how to roll over the bonnet of your Cortina without making a dick of yourself. Completing the book is an invaluable glossary of police terms, covering everything from blag to lag, and nonce to ponce.An essential reference work for fans of Life of Mars, The Rules of Modern Policing offers a unique insight to seventies' law enforcement that will make you laugh until you cry like the wet little turd you are.

Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection


Nick Seluk - 2015
    From paying taxes and getting up for work to dancing with kittens and starting a band, readers everywhere will relate to the ongoing struggle between Heart and Brain.Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection illustrates the relationship between the sensible Brain and its emotionally driven counterpart, the Heart.Boasting more than one million pageviews per month, TheAwkwardYeti.com has become a webcomic staple since its creation in 2012.

The History of England


Jane Austen - 1791
    She sees nothing reprehensible in Richard III, yet burns with contempt for Elizabeth I, and documents several reigns with breezy nonchalance.This volume also contains 'Lesley Castle', a delightful and often hilarious correspondence detailing the mishaps and misapprehensions that befall five young ladies.

The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


Bobby Henderson - 2006
    According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's "noodly appendage." Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match—and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts—dispelling such malicious myths as evolution ("only a theory"), science ("only a lot of theories"), and whether we're really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:"If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory."—Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D."Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative 'theories' like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice."—J. Simon, Ph.D."In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory."—Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D.