With their incurable curiosity and desire for adventure, they sold all their belongings and flew to America in search of a boat. The pull of the ocean was too strong to ignore any longer. Four years prior, they circumnavigated the globe on their thirty-three foot boat, Mariah. Now they wanted a new challenge. From the perils at Pitcairn to the grand statues of Easter Island, Jackie and Noel set sail south to the remotest inhabited island in the world. Along the way, they lose a friend and come nail-bitingly close to losing their new boat, but they gained so much more: a voyage that left them breathless from fear and a journey of not only travel but of two truly nomadic gypsies. This is a story of storms of emotions and oceans, travel, love and relationships, and two people figuring out life and fulfilling their need to move and be challenged.

    Things get even worse when a new boy moves in next door and a bully starts picking on him. Alex feels caught in the middle. If he defends the new kid, he may become the bully's next target. Alex soon finds out that the bully is hiding a secret that could change everything. Will Alex find the courage to do the right thing and stand up for the new kid? And can he survive middle school on his own? He'll soon learn that friendship can be found in the most unlikely places.

    Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old. What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door. As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease.   I’m Not Gonna Lie  will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.

    Play to win. Play like a champion.In Winning Fantasy Baseball, Larry Schechter discloses the secrets of his proven methods. Packed with commonsense, easy-to-use strategies for beginners through experienced players, Schechter supplies readers with a toolkit to achieve the most important thing in fantasy ball--winning! Some have called Schechter one of the best fantasy baseball players in the world. He is the only two-time winner of the CDM Sports national salary-cap challenge, having defeated 7,500 competitors in 2002 and 6,000 in 2005. He is also a five-time winner of the renowned Tout Wars experts league and a member of the USA Today-sponsored League of Alternative Baseball Reality (LABR).Readers will learn directly from the champ everything they need to know about:- how to project player stats;- how to convert those stats into a specific value;- strategy for snake drafts, and mono-league and mixed auctions;- selecting teams using a salary cap;- playing in keeper leagues;- and performing in-season management.Although the book is primarily about fantasy baseball, many of the concepts also apply to fantasy football and other fantasy sports.

    Children are given a well-rounded understanding of this beautiful fish: its anatomy, feeding habits and behavior. The following Sharks are featured:* The swift Black Tip Reef Shark* The dangerous Bull Shark* The resourceful Hammerhead Shark* The feared Great White Shark* The stealthy Lemon Shark* The fanged Nurse Shark* The gentle Whale Shark* The deceptive Wobbegong

    Now, to celebrate a decade of delighting opera fans and foes alike, musical historian and humorist David Barber has prepared a special revised and expanded edition of his hilarious bestselling history of opera. Chapters such as Serious Buffoonery, Teutonic Tunesmiths and, of course, Italian Sausage Machines display Barber's rapier wit and knack for knowing fascinating, if sometimes useless, information about music, musicians and the offbeat world they live in. This expanded edition includes new material ranging from Strauss to ragtime, opera to the Tenor Menace. From Italian castrati to German Ring-bearers, from Handel's fights with rival sopranos to Puccini's nicotine habit, the author of Bach, Beethoven and the Boys and Tenors, Tantrums and Trills delivers a funny yet informative, irreverent yet affectionate history of serious music's most serious art form as only he can - and as only he would dare to do.

    ever wanted to quit your job...?‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is the amazing true story of one man's quest to escape his monotonous nine-to-five existence and open a charming delicatessen and restaurant in a delightful market town.With honesty, humour and breathtaking naïveté, it records his steep learning curve, radical lifestyle change and the immediate revelation that the customer is not always right!Amidst tales of bulimia, public menstruation, endless abuse and hilarious customer encounters, this eye-opening story unveils what happens after you walk into the boss and say: “I quit!”‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is a shockingly comical tale of culinary highs, customer lows and one woman's unhealthy fixation with thigh-warmed Stilton…‘An absolute hoot!’ ~ Anonymous celebrity chef‘This hits the nail on the head so much I can't believe it! So much so, I can't possibly put my name to it!’~ UK chef‘I am delighted that Mark has written this book. Maybe now people will believe me when I tell them the stories!’ ~ Matt, co-ownerI'd Sooner Starve - the book the celebrity chefs were too afraid to endorse!

    

    They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can.This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off.In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!* Week of June 10, 2018

    To say nothing of what happens when they arrive: eating grasshoppers in Mexico, forgetting the tide schedule while collecting sand dollars off the coast of Georgia, and mistaking alligators for logs in the middle of Okefenokee Swamp. Husband-and-wife team David Homel and Marie-Louise Gay have combined their writing and illustrating talents with their own family memories to produce a very different kind of travelogue. Travels with My Family is told from the point of view of a long-suffering big brother who must fulfill many roles in this eccentric family — keep little brother out of trouble; humor artist Mom while she seeks out beauty and inspiration in the least likely places; and discourage nearsighted, tone-deaf Dad from pulling out the road map to search for yet another strange destination.

    The 1980s were certainly loud, often garish and utterly fabulous - no matter how embarrassing the outfits were.There are so many elements, which made the 80s a truly great decade, but one of the greatest contributions, if not the greatest, is the mass introduction of affordable 8-bit home micro computers.These curious machines of geekdom changed the way we regarded computers and technology. No longer were they the sole perverse of tweed jacket clad scientists sporting unruly beards, micro computers were now forming a staple inventory in millions of homes.Much of the technology that we enjoy today, such as desktop computers, notebooks, tablets, gaming consoles and smart phones, all of which are often taken for granted, can be traced back to this innovative decade.If you were a child of the 80s and remember the joy of receiving your very first home computer or maybe a young adult who fondly remembers the excitement, then you will appreciate this unabashed reminiscence of a simpler time whose adolescent technological was on the cusp of great advancements.This book is intended as celebration and reflection of all the computer technology that made the 80s such a wonderful, pioneering period and follows the journey of a self confessed, teenaged computer geek who experienced and enjoyed every ground breaking moment, including publishing his own software.10 Print “The 80s are fab!”20 Goto 10RunAuthor's Comments:The current edition is dated 31st January 2016 and has been edited based on customer feedback.

    Parents getting on your nerves… again?... Need some verbal ammunition?… Here's 49 (extremely silly) questions to annoy your parents.Join the hilarious adventure of these naughty kids who will ask absolutely anything to make their parents blood boil. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.Disclaimer: reading this eBook will definitely get you into trouble! (So if your parents ask where you heard these questions you didn’t hear them for me).Recommended Age: 7+

     Jeremy Clovenhoof has spent six years living the quiet life after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he’s partying hard because it’s the school holidays. Whether it’s his increasingly complex girlfriend situation, his creative attempts at Christmas on a budget or an over-decorated tree that will take things very personally, Clovenhoof will make this a Christmas for everybody to remember. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    You Had One Job! is a collection of hilarious pictures featuring job-related disasters and general ineptitudes.If someone hangs a stop sign upside down or paints crooked lines on a highway, count on someone else to snap a photo and post it online.  You Had One Job! is a collection of hilarious pictures features job-related disasters and general ineptitudes.  All of these new, never-before-seen images will be accompanied by witty captions.

    Celebrated artist Jeffrey Brown's delightful illustrations give classic Star Wars moments a fresh twist, presenting the trials and joys of parenting through the lens of a galaxy far, far away. Life lessons include lightsaber batting practice, using the Force to raid the cookie jar, Take Your Child to Work Day on the Death Star ("Er, he looks just like you, Lord Vader!"), and the special bond shared between any father and son.