Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

    Too on the nose? Sorry. Let me dial it back.  I’m Mike Birbiglia and I’m a comedian. You may know me from Comedy Central or This American Life or The Bob & Tom Show, but you’ve never seen me like this before. Naked. Wait, that’s the name of another book. Also I’m not naked as there are no pictures in my book. Also, if there were naked pictures of me, you definitely wouldn’t buy it, though you might sneak a copy into the back corner of the bookstore and show it to your friend and laugh. Okay, let’s get off the naked stuff. This is my first book. It’s difficult to describe. It’s a comedic memoir, but I’m only 32 years old so I’d hate for you to think I’m “wrapping it up,” so to speak. But I tell some personal stories. Some REALLY personal stories. Stories that I considered not publishing time and time again, especially when my father said, “Michael, you might want to stay away from the per­sonal stuff.” I said, “Dad, just read the dedication.” (Which I’m telling you to do too.) Some of the stories are about my childhood, some are about girls I made out with when I was thirteen, some are about my parents, and some are, of course, about my bouts with sleepwalking. Bring this book to bed. And sleepwalk with me.

    Reprint.

    It's an ok job, but it isn't as exciting as most people think, and that's fine by him. He makes it a rule not to get involved in active police cases or in any case where people are likely to get hurt—especially him. So why does the mob suddenly want him dead? Sure it’s all a mistake, but dead from a mistake is still dead.Taking advice from his friend, The Juke, he starts on a cross country drive to LA (what can I tell you, he has a few phobias, and flying is just one of them), and makes it as far as Mystic Falls, New Mexico before the borrowed Mercedes conks out. Mystic Falls? Think Green Acres—without the sophistication.All he had to do was lie low and wait for the car to be fixed. A good plan too. It might have worked if only the local "character" hadn’t turned up missing, with him as the prime suspect. Now if he ever wants to get out of this sleepy desert asylum, he’s going to have to find her. Fat chance.

    Frank wore a big fake head. Nobody outside his inner circle knew his true identity. This became the subject of feverish speculation during his zenith years. Together, they rode relatively high. Then it all went wrong.Twenty-five years later and Jon has co-written a movie, Frank, inspired by his time in this great and bizarre band. Frank is set for release in 2014, starring Michael Fassbender, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Domhnall Gleeson and directed by Lenny Abrahamson.Frank: The True Story that Inspired the Movie is a memoir of funny, sad times and a tribute to outsider artists too wonderfully strange to ever make it in the mainstream. It tells the true story behind the fictionalized movie.

    Someday, when it was his turn at the table, he’d connect with his readers. The experience has been even more revealing than he’d hoped.In this hilarious and perceptive essay, the celebrated humorist reflects on the unusual patterns of forced socialization between author and audience, and the obligations and sometimes surprising returns of not-so-chance encounters with strangers: jokes, secrets, insights, and even charity.

    I did not write this book for sympathy or notoriety; I wrote it in an attempt to shed light on the ghosts that have haunted me for a lifetime, hoping that by putting them down on paper that I could look at them more objectively from a mature point of view and eventually free myself from them.

    Marsh's honesty and humanity make Fat, Forty, and Fired essential reading for anyone whose life has ever hit a roadblock. Hilarious and inspiring." --Bob Rosner, best-selling author and internationally syndicated Working Wounded columnist"An extremely funny and touching account of how someone can use humor and optimism to put adversity into perspective. Marsh's warm and distinctive view of life lights up every page and makes this a thoroughly enjoyable read." --Paul Wilson, author of The Little Book of Calm"I can pinpoint the precise moment when I realized my transformation from 'executive dad' to 'guy who doesn't work' was complete." --Nigel MarshTake Dave Barry, Jack Welch, Homer Simpson, and Ray Romano, mix in a family, a little weight gain, failure, introspection, and redemption, and you have Nigel Marsh's international best-selling autobiography.As a stressed husband and father of four small children under the age of eight, Nigel Marsh was enslaved to his mortgage, recuperating from an embarrassing surgery, and suddenly fired from his corporate career. Deciding to venture "off the treadmill" in search of a more meaningful and balanced existence, Marsh tackled the art of hands-on parenting while simultaneously training for an ocean swimming race and coming to terms with his alcoholism. Touching on topics ranging from marital sex (or lack thereof), dieting, and parenthood to work, love, football, religion, self-help books, and sharks, Marsh makes his U.S. debut after enjoying best-seller status in Australia and the U.K. with this provocative and funny book.

    Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on "Arrested Development "and the role of "David" in "Mr. Show With Bob And David, "as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I DRINK FOR A REASON is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.

    He muses about everything from the nature of viral sharing, to the taming of Internet trolls, to why Yoda, bacon and cats are such popular memes. Takei isn’t afraid to tell it likes he sees it, and to engage the reader just as he does his legions of fans.Both provokingly thoughtful and wickedly funny, Oh Myyy! captures and comments upon the quirky nature of our plugged-in culture. With Takei’s conversational yet authoritative style, peppered with some of his favorite images from the web, readers should be prepared to LOL, even as they can’t help but hear his words in their heads in that unmistakable, deep bass.

    Charlie Myers is on a life altering path that will cause the dammed to humble in silence.One night…just a few friends, how could it go so wrong? That was the question seventeen year old Charlie Myers was asking when she found herself in the ER. Outwardly nothing was wrong with Charlie, she was a vision of perfect heath, internally she was battling a raging headache…one the doctor told her she would overcome shortly, but Charlie knew something else was wrong …very wrong.Part of her had been stolen…she was missing memories. Those memories were sacred. They held the key to her sanity. They told her that the sinister whispers, the shadows that came to life before her were not as ominous as she felt they were. They held the bond with her late father, a famed musician. They caused her to forget the one talent that allowed her to face the darkness that haunted her every waking hour. They also masked a much deeper bond, the face of the one that had stolen her heart, long before the age of seventeen.Sitting in the ER with her angry mother she couldn’t figure out what she was missing, or even how. Her thoughts told her that she needed to protect Britain, a friend of hers, but that didn’t make any sense – Britain didn’t need to be protected from anyone, he was strong, young, and absurdly wealthy. Charlie also knew that even though her friend Bianca called Charlie her best friend, she didn’t trust her …she was almost sure she despised her, but she couldn’t figure out why, or understand how random thoughts were telling her that she adored both Britain and Bianca – that they were her saviors – that they brought silence to the unstoppable whispers, but the silence scared Charlie. In her mind anyone or anything that could bring silence to something that dark could not be good.Charlie wanted to stay in NY, figure out what she was missing, why, and who was behind it all, but her mother had other plans. Against her will, Charlie was sent to Salem to live with her sister, within that small town Charlie found her memories and so much more.Her story begins now.Ibsn: 9781301864768Word count: 104k

    Over the course of the next two years, he shared his students’ triumphs, tragedies, joys, and frustrations. He got a behind the scenes look into how school systems and teachers function – and how they break. As the pressure built and the runaway train of his brief teaching career began to derail, Dalton came to understand why the education system can’t seem to recruit new teachers and why many of the teachers in the existing system aren’t doing their jobs.Available exclusively at Amazon.com.

    But when Richard Colman adopts his dead sister's daughter, he has no idea how tough life can be.Richard's girlfriend walks out. His business starts losing clients. And there's something terribly wrong with the little girl.Her name is Bernadette, but Richard calls her "Barney". It's a word his own father used to use... a barney, a row, a terrible racket. And Barney is well-named – she never stops screaming. She hammers her head on the floor and the walls. She's adorable, but she doesn't sleep. She cannot talk. She won't even respond to her name.Richard slowly faces the unbearable truth that his little girl is profoundly autistic. And as he prepares for a battle simply to be allowed to keep his child, he's only beginning to find out how tough life can be. Christopher Stevens, the bestselling author of A REAL BOY, draws on painful and intensely personal experiences of raising his own autistic child, to create this compelling story of a single parent who must come to terms with his beloved little girl's autism.AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a novel. The characters are fictional, though they are very real to me. Many of the events in the story did really happen to my family, following the diagnosis of my younger son with autism. I later wrote a memoir about this intensely emotional and exhausting experience: it was published as A REAL BOY. If you have read this memoir, you might recognise some of the scenes and situations in A GIRL CALLED BARNEY – and if you want to read a strictly factual account, the memoir will better suit your needs. A GIRL CALLED BARNEY is more dramatic, more tragic and less humorous than the later, non-fiction book. I used the novel to express the darker, more frightening emotions that, in real life, we hardly dare admit that we feel.Praise for A REAL BOY, Christopher Stevens's factual account of raising his autistic son:Jane Asher, President of the National Autistic Society"This wonderfully honest book tells us a great deal, not only about autism, but also about the extraordinary tolerance and unselfishness that is borne out of unequivocal love. At the same time, it reveals some uncomfortable truths about the struggle it takes to access the rights of those with disabilities in our so-called civilized society."The Sun, 15 Feb 08"incredibly moving"Daily Mail, February 26, 2008Christopher Stevens writes poignantly about life with his autistic son. It's a moving account of the boy's struggle to cope with a world that confuses him - and the extraordinary leap forward that gave them all hope.Bournemouth Daily Echo, 27th June 08By turns harrowing, humorous and inspirational.About the AuthorChristopher Stevens has been a senior sub-editor at the Observer for fourteen years and is also the author of Born Brilliant, the acclaimed biography of Kenneth Williams; Masters of Sitcom, a celebration of Galton and Simpson; and Thirty Days Has September, the bestselling reference book on Kindle.Born Brilliant was shortlisted for a "Sherry", the Sheridan Morley Theatre Biography Prize. It was adapted and broadcast as a Radio Four Book of the Week.

    And the trouble with being Tony, is that most of them got one.Just how do you 'look after' something that's trying it's damnedest to kill you and eat you?And how do you find love when you a) don't speak the language, and b) are constantly covered in excrement and entrails?If only he'd had some relevant experience. Other than owning a pet rabbit when he was nine. And if only he'd bought some travel insurance...That Bear Ate My Pants is the hilarious tale of one man's quest to better himself. Whether losing a machete fight with a tree, picking dead tarantulas out of a tank of live ones or sewing the head back on to a partially decapitated crocodile, Tony's misadventures are ridiculous, unbelievable and always entertaining.Long before Sky One got involved, there were already plenty of Idiots Abroad. This is the story of one of them...

    That's what she called it. Tom called it punishment. In it, he chronicles the adventures of the Caswell Gang, a group of siblings and friends with two things in common -- their love of adventure and their allegiance to Tom, their king.The 1950s book was misplaced a long time ago, and all the children have since grown up, but Harry, Tom's youngest brother, still remembers it and retells for us one of its stories in a nostalgic, heartwarming, and humorous way that will have you wishing for adventure, too.