Once upon a time (right about now) there was a planet (how about this one?) whose inhabitants consumed thirty-six billion gallons of beer each year (it's a fact, you can Google it). Among those affected, each in his or her own way, by all the bubbles, burps, and foam, was a smart, wide-eyed, adventurous kindergartner named Gracie; her distracted mommy; her insensitive dad; her non-conformist uncle; and a magical, butt-kicking intruder from a world within our world. Populated by the aforementioned characters—and as charming as it may be subversive—B Is for Beer involves readers, young and old, in a surprising, far-reaching investigation into the limits of reality, the transformative powers of children, and, of course, the ultimate meaning of a tall, cold brewski.

    The tweets of Steve Martin.

    I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired.Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better?Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”

     "Ridiculously funny. A treat for fans and new readers alike." Chicago Tribune "Clever and laugh out loud funny. Packed with stories and correspondences that will leave you chuckling long after you have finished them." The Washington Post "Razor sharp humor. Highly recommended reading " Sydney Morning Herald

    It was founded in a bizarre but momentous "Land Run" in 1889, when thousands of people lined up along the borders of Oklahoma Territory and rushed in at noon to stake their claims. Since then, it has been a city torn between the wild energy that drives its outsized ambitions, and the forces of order that seek sustainable progress. Nowhere was this dynamic better realized than in the drama of the Oklahoma City Thunder basketball team's 2012-13 season, when the Thunder's brilliant general manager, Sam Presti, ignited a firestorm by trading future superstar James Harden just days before the first game. Presti's all-in gamble on "the Process"—the patient, methodical management style that dictated the trade as the team’s best hope for long-term greatness—kicked off a pivotal year in the city's history, one that would include pitched battles over urban planning, a series of cataclysmic tornadoes, and the frenzied hope that an NBA championship might finally deliver the glory of which the city had always dreamed.Boom Town announces the arrival of an exciting literary voice. Sam Anderson, former book critic for New York magazine and now a staff writer at the New York Times magazine, unfolds an idiosyncratic mix of American history, sports reporting, urban studies, gonzo memoir, and much more to tell the strange but compelling story of an American city whose unique mix of geography and history make it a fascinating microcosm of the democratic experiment. Filled with characters ranging from NBA superstars Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook; to Flaming Lips oddball frontman Wayne Coyne; to legendary Great Plains meteorologist Gary England; to Stanley Draper, Oklahoma City's would-be Robert Moses; to civil rights activist Clara Luper; to the citizens and public servants who survived the notorious 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah federal building, Boom Town offers a remarkable look at the urban tapestry woven from control and chaos, sports and civics.

    With another presidential campaign on the horizon and a stellar set of real- life characters to have fun with-"New Rule: If Charlie Sheen's home life means he can't have a TV show, then I say Newt Gingrich can't be president"-this enlightening and important book may be the best thing you pretend to read all year.

    **Everybody does it. Nobody wants to talk about it. But have you ever wondered if there's an effective way of restraining your idle hands when they are in danger of straying into a your own nether regions?Finally, there is.Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid, embarking on an onanistic odyssey - whatever you call it, all of the images in this book will discourage any urges towards self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a collection of carefully curated pictures guaranteed to throw a wet towel over even the strongest libido or put any soldier standing to attention at ease.It is as effective as a cold shower and will save a fortune in tissues.

    All of a sudden it was acceptable to brag, so long as those brags were ever-so-thinly disguised as transparent humility, such as:"Just filed my taxes. Biggie was right, mo money mo problems.""I hate when I go into a store to get something to eat and the male staff are too busy hitting on me to get my order right :( so annoying!"Taking action by naming this phenomenon and creating the Twitter account called Humblebrag-dedicated solely to retweeting the humblebrags of others-Wittels's new word took the Internet by storm. Harris also shows readers what humblebrags might look like from some of history's most notable names, as well as devoting an entire chapter to a man who just might be the greatest humblebraggart of them all...

    You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life, you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht. Choose correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a hideous death by piranhas. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography!

    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

    . . . This treasure trove of linguistics, sociology, history and folklore offers a fascinating look at how, through the centuries, a unique and enduring language has reflected an equally unique and enduring culture.”—Publishers Weekly, starred reviewThe main spoken language of the Jews for more than 1,000 years, Yiddish offers a comprehensive picture of the mind-set that enabled them to survive a millennium of unrelenting persecution across Europe. Through the idioms, phrases, metaphors, and fascinating history of this wonderful tongue, Michael Wex gives us a moving and inspiring portrait of a people, and a language, in exile. From tukhes to goy, meshugener to bobe mayse (cok-and-bull story), Born to Kvetch offers a wealth of material, some that has never appeared in English before, on all elements of Yiddish life, including food, nature, divinity, humanity, and even sex.

    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

    Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a #1 New York Times bestseller and a won a Quill Award for Book of the Year, Best Humor Book in 2006.

    Harkness, who has been self publishing work in Minnesota for a number of years now. Tinderella is an autobiographical comic about online dating, living poor and being a dumb 20-something. Over confident and crude, Harkness's work is hilarious and emotionally agonizing to sit through.

    Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand-, and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the Fuck to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to Fucking Eat perfectly captures Adam Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.Adam Mansbach is the author of the #1 international bestseller Go the Fuck to Sleep, as well as the novels Rage Is Back, Angry Black White Boy, The Dead Run, and The End of the Jews, winner of the California Book Award. He has written for the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Believer, and National Public Radio’s All Things Considered. His daughter Vivien is six.Owen Brozman has illustrated for National Geographic, Time Out New York, Scholastic, Ninja Tune, Definitive Jux, and numerous other clients. He and Mansbach recently collaborated on the acclaimed graphic novel Nature of the Beast, and his work has been recognized by the Society of Illustrators of Los Angeles, Creative Quarterly, 3x3 magazine, and many more. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his wife and daughter, whose favorite food is bananas.