A short story in the Oddjobs universe that tries to answer the age-old question: what Christmas present do you get for the demon who has everything?

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

     Congratulations! But before beginning that dark and shadowed journey into a life of eternal damnation, every vampire is required to read THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, a short step-by-step guide to becoming a vampire and then adjusting to the bloodsucking lifestyle. Some of the helpful tips in this handbook include: Rules for Living an Environmentally Friendly and Urbane, Undead Lifestyle, Dietary Restrictions for Vampires, Engaging in Battles with Other Immortals, Rules for Fitting into Society and not Scaring off Potential Meals and much more... In addition to THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, you will also get THE WERE/SHAPE-SHIFTER HANDBOOK and THE ZOMBIE HANDBOOK as well as a few sample chapters from PJ Jones's sparkly vampire parody, ROMANCE NOVEL.

     Little does she know it’s about to get a whole lot weirder. When she answers an online help wanted ad, she never expects it to lead to the revelation that magic exists. She certainly never expects to experience it firsthand. But after teaming up with washed-up sorcerer Larry Stuttgart, sword master Dawn Blayde, werebear munitions expert Tank Johnson, and immortal zombie head-in-a-jar Bill, Lexie’s about to discover what life is like on the supernatural side. She’s about to join THE NYTE PATROL. *** This is the first novel of the snarky urban fantasy series, the Nyte Patrol. Look for book two, Nyte Terrors, coming soon!

    It includes the following titles: Pain in the Aasimar Cocky LitRPG Taint Team Rusty Mom Bone The Wang is the Hardest Part Cross My Fart and Hope to Die If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

     Arianne Leone, a mountain lion shapeshifter, owns an art gallery in Deep Ellum, a popular tourist attraction and haven for musicians for decades. Together, they are charged with guarding the one who bears the Hermit's Stone, an ancient artifact that has held worlds together—and kept them separate—for eons. Possession of the stone falls to Ari's friend and art student, nineteen-year-old Nico Garcia. When Nico's parents are killed in an attempt to destroy him, Ari and Mac must set aside their differences and work together, protecting Nico at all costs…

    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

    She gets her wish when rumors spread about strange creatures seen in the night, and one of the regular diners tells her a haunting story.Misty offers to help him, and before she knows it one trouble leads to another and she's entwined in a web of death and undeath. The undeath is a handsome and mysterious stranger, and the death might be her own. She'll have to use all her wits to get her out of this mess, and with most of her blood intact.Check out the other books in the series:Midnight CustomerTrouble For Two: Coming soon!

    Everything she once believed her life would be, just got turned upside down—and not by choice.Fae magic runs through her blood and the consequences are dire. The demon wants what Mackenzie has because of her blood and will stop at nothing until he gets it … even if he has to kill her in the process. But the question is, why does he want it so badly? And why is he killing so many innocent lycan in his quest?To get these answers, Mackenzie will ally herself with those who once were her enemy. But she’s making a dangerous choice, because at any moment, they’re right on the sidelines ready to stab her in the back.Her blood is the key. Can Kenz survive a battle against Abaddon? Or will the ones closest to her be the ones to take her down?

    True, she can’t order anything through the mail for fear her dachshunds, Laverne and Shirley, will intercept and eat the contents, and she’s still carrying a few extra pounds from the birth of her kindergartener, but the rest of her life – marriage, kids, house, even her tennis game – is picture perfect.At least it is until the day her mother hands her a diet and exercise book called Look Great Naked and says, “I think your husband’s having an affair.” As the façade begins to crumble, Grace realizes that looking great naked means having nothing to hide. It’s accepting yourself exactly the way you are -- right here, right now, flaws, wrinkles, knots, bumps, lumps, bad attitude and all.

    But he and his fellow vampires Joy, Cynthia, and Ian have agreed to blend into human society. Inspired by superhero movies, one of few passions in his un-life, Alex decides to don a cape and start fighting bad guys. But his decision will have bigger consequences than he realizes—for himself and for everyone he wants to protect.From CHIP ZDARSKY and JASON LOO, the Eisner-winning team behind AFTERLIFT, THE ALL-NIGHTER is a story about found family and a new twist on superheroes!Part of the comiXology Originals line of exclusive digital content only available on comiXology and Kindle. Read for free as part of your subscription to comiXology Unlimited, Kindle Unlimited or Amazon Prime. Also available for purchase via comiXology and Kindle.

    It is thus embarrassing when he is run over by a bus. It is even more embarrassing when he, and atheist, realises there is an afterlife…Resurrected on a huge flat plain, he is forced to play a deadly game. Moved as a pawn to the whim of the Gods in a fight to the death with warriors from all ages of earth’s history. Killed again and again only to be resurrected.The General, the Grim Reaper and Anubis are some of the strange beings who direct this grisly entertainment. Is it real or only in his decaying mind. Who is the Clown? It there anywhere to escape to?To retain his sanity, he must believe there is an end; an escape; a purpose. A thought-provoking story leading to an action filled climax that challenges our accepted beliefs…

    When an oil rig drills too deep under the Gulf of Mexico it breaks the capstone separating our world from the UnderRealms - home to monsters, daemons and dark magiks. The nightmares of our long ago come flooding back into the world where they are met by automatic weapons fire, heating seeking missiles (they're hell on dragons, don'tcha know) and one drunken, dissolute son of a bitch called Dave. But this is not Dave's story. This is the story of the poor bastards who had to put up with him while he saved the world and acted like a jerk.

    Death Devours: With the threat of the First now behind her, Natalie Pierce has little time to celebrate before yet another problem arises. By killing the first vampire ever made, she inadvertently set his ancient enemies free. Ten withered, starving creatures have now been unleashed from forty thousand years of forced entombment.Only Natalie and her vampire kin have the strength and speed to eradicate the inundation of fledgling undead that are about to rise. The last thing Nat ever wanted to do was rule but destiny cannot be denied. In her role as Mortis, she must bring her kin together or the entire human population will be destroyed. Somehow, she must find a way for the Japanese and European vampire nations to put aside their ancient enmity and work together for a common cause.Death Betrays: Having destroyed a horde of fledgling vampires with the help of her friends and allies, Natalie Pierce’s hunt still isn't over. Their foe has fled from Africa with the intention of creating a new army of undead slaves to turn the human race into their cattle. Nat begins to feel uneasy about the fragile alliance between the Japanese and European vampire nations as well as the truce they have with the human soldiers. Both she and Kokoro know that death and darkness awaits their kind. A betrayal is coming that will tear their alliances apart. Their fate has been decided but neither yet knows exactly how or when their dwindling species will be decimated. Death Banishes: Evicted from their own world by the humans that they had twice saved, Natalie Pierce and her few remaining kin float in the void of space inside the ship that has become an icy tomb. Rescue comes in the form of an alien spacecraft and Nat and her friends are soon facing adversaries that they have never encountered before. Their dwindling species is on the brink of extinction and it quickly becomes apparent that their new enemies would be only too happy to finish them off once and for all.

     This Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department box set gives you 7 full novels and three bonus short stories, all filled with action-packed, hilarious adventure! Ian Dex is a genetically engineered man who has abilities from all classes in the spectrum. He's also the chief of the Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department (PPD). His job is to monitor all supernaturals and their involvement in the world of normals. Book 1: The Merging A new breed of supernaturals has turned up and they're a lot tougher to deal with than your run-of-the-mill vampires and werewolves. These are larger, tougher, and stronger...and they laugh at wood and silver bullets. Book 2: Grave Creatures An old necromancer has been summoning the dead. His goal is to overrun the world, one city at a time. Too bad he started in Vegas. Book 3: Blood Bane Tower Ian Dex is no stranger to dealing with death, destruction, and mayhem. But there's something entirely different about chasing a fang-wielding vampire and staring down the throat of a dragon. Even worse is when that dragon is hovering over you on the edge of the Badlands, right next to the entrance of hell. Book 4: London Growl There is a new uberwolf who has taken over the werewolves of London and he's bent on proving that he is the most powerful creature in all of the supernatural community. Book 5: Swarm of Fire A foul-mouthed pixie has hit the streets in Vegas to stir up trouble. He's tiny, angry, and full of magic dust. His primary goal is to wreak as much havoc as possible on the tourists and casinos Book 6: Curse of Fangs When Las Vegas Paranormal Police Chief Ian Dex is injected with a healthy dose of vampire venom, he gains access to power like he's never known. He's faster, stronger, and his ability to do magic is on the rise, too. Book 7: Clash of Flames Four amalgamites are searching for their brother and they're willing to kill the cops in the Las Vegas PPD to get to him. Bonus 1: The Bleeding Even Ian Dex had to go through cadet training in the Netherworld PPD. Bonus 2: The Chief Ian wasn't always the chief of the Vegas PPD. Here's how he got there. Bonus 3: Blind Date Ian's crew sets him up on a blind date. It was was going fantastically well...until she got kidnapped. The Paranormal Police Department has delighted thousands of readers with action, adventure, outrageous (and often offensive) comedy, and tons of snark. Grab your badge and join the legion of fans who keep begging for more...