It tells you how and where to get ideas, how to establish and sustain excitement, how to create live, colorful characters, and how to plot, develop and bring home your story. It even includes exercises to help you perfect your story-telling skills. Full of tips and techniques that work, it makes an indispensable, reliable collaborator. You'll find it ideal whether you're studying alone or supplementing a creative or fiction writing course, conference or workshop.

    A look at the absurdities of modern life.

     (Note: both books (1) How to Write Descriptions of Eyes and Faces and (2) How to Write Descriptions of Hair and Skin are now available in a single, unabridged volume for readers interested in both buying both books together at a cheaper price than buying them individually: How to Write Descriptions of Eyes, Faces, Hair, Skin. ASIN: B00670OUGW.) Here, you get more help than you could possibly imagine on describing eyes and faces. Each section centers on a type of description, such as Eye Color (for example, "Crystal blue eyes"), or Appearance of the Eye (for example, "Beady eyes," or "Bedroom eyes"), or Actions Involving the Eyes (for example, "Darting eyes" or "Gawking"). Each section lists its descriptive terms alphabetically with full explanations. You can read the lists to learn new terms, or you can look up a specific term. The eye section starts with the location of colors in the iris. Through examples, you learn how physical description starts with an accurate, detailed picture of everything you see, which you condense for your fiction. You learn about the appearance of the eyes, actions involving the eyes, and how to describe eyelids, eyebrows, and eyelashes. All of this leads into more than 2,000 words explaining 82 different color names to assign to eyes that are black, blue, brown, gray, green, hazel, or violet. The face section shows how to describe facial shapes, forehead, ears, cheekbones, nose, lips, chin, and facial hair, if any. You learn about facial expressions, such as simpering or sneering, and things like the differences between a frown and a scowl. You also get a section on how the face shows different emotions. For example, you can look up "Anger" and read about common physical signs of anger such as blood rising beneath the skin, the forehead tightening, the eyes narrowing, and the nose wrinkling in disgust. Who may benefit from this book? Anyone who wants a quick prompt or idea so as not to lose his writing momentum. Readers for whom English is a second language may enjoy the in-depth explanations of American English terms. Authors in genres that demand much physical description (for example, fantasy fiction and romance fiction) may also find this book useful. How to Write Descriptions of Eyes and Faces is about 15,000 words in total. Thank you for reading.

    Over the course of twenty years, millions of people have learned this lesson while being entertained and enlightened by Loretta LaRoche in one of her enormously popular series of lectures given in public seminars; in corporate environments for clients like IBM, Reebok, Fidel-ity Investments, and Blue Cross, Blue Shield; and most recently in nationwide broadcasts on public television. Now she puts her sensible, sensational philosophy on paper--and gives readers the tools they need to laugh themselves to less stress and better health."One night I greeted Bob at the door wearing nothing but his wing-tipped shoes. I was laughing hysterically about how I looked. Bob didn't crack a smile. Instead, he bellowed, 'What are the neighbors going to think?'" 'I don't know,' I replied, 'I haven't shown them yet.' "Loretta LaRoche has been called "the Erma Bombeck of stress reduction"--and in the helpful and hilarious pages of this book, her enormous talent for finding the funny detail to defuse even the most difficult situation has never been sharper."Buy something silly and wear it. A Groucho Marx nose, mustache, and glasses are my favorite. When the stress seems unbearable, when you've really reached the limits of your endurance, go into a bathroom, look into the mirror, put on your glasses, and ask yourself, 'How serious is this?' "        Relax--You May Only Have a Few Minutes Left is filled with practical exercises, hilarious anecdotes, and specific advice for coming to terms with today's ever-increasing stress levels--it is a remedy for anxiety and a prescription for laughter."Most of us don't realize what an impact we have on the world around us. A positive energy field is going to affect others in a beneficial way, even if you don't notice it at first. Why not ask for a standing ovation once in a while? When you go in to work, say, 'I came in--it wasn't easy. I could have gone somewhere else. I'd like a standing ovation.' "In sections like "If You Don't Have to Suffer--Don't Practice," "My Mother the CEO," and "I'm Not Afraid of Heights, Just Widths," LaRoche dismantles our American predilection for taking ourselves too seriously and shows us how to live longer, happier lives using the healing power of the absurd.

    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    30,000 first printing."

    Please note this book only contains two words and is entirely satire.

    I’m young and I want to move on. Am I a bad person?• Why does my boyfriend always adjust himself in public?• My wife dresses like a slut. How do I make her stop?• My boyfriend’s number one friend on MySpace is his ex. Should I be concerned?With he-said, she-said advice that is both raw and honest, What Do We Do Now? is sure to appeal to the podcast’s legion of fans, and attract a brand-new audience tired of the tried-and-not-so-true relationship manuals.

    This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    How do you make your readers believe your characters are falling in love? How do you show that sizzle of attraction? How do you write a good kissing scene? How do you bring in the much-needed tension but still have your characters flirting and getting closer? In this book I take one of my romance novels (Acting Married) and I go through the entire novel with you, basically interrupting myself to tell you what I was thinking as I was writing the novel. It's like watching a movie with commentary. I pull back the curtain so you can see why I started it the way I did, why I decided to put certain scenes in, and what pushes the romance forward in the book. I preface all this with what I consider the essentials of a good romance novel, and I end with my list of well-loved romance tropes that you can draw from in order to write your own bestselling romance novel.

     Written by a paramedic and writer with a decade of experience, 10 BS Medical Tropes covers exactly that: clichéd and inaccurate tropes that not only ruin books, they have the potential to hurt real people in the real world. In this book, you’ll discover why these ten clichés make readers throw their books across the room and their remotes at their TVs, from the ever-present “gunshot to the shoulder” to the ubiquitous “knocking out the henchmen.” You’ll learn why they’re so incorrect, with easy-to-read medical explanations that may just spark your creativity. But more importantly, you’ll be inspired about what to write instead, to solve the same plot point challenges in more believable—and interesting—ways! Download 10 BS Medical Tropes that Need to Die… TODAY!

    [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"With this basic instruction always in mind, Anne Lamott returns to offer us a new gift: a step-by-step guide on how to write and on how to manage the writer's life. From "Getting Started,' with "Short Assignments," through "Shitty First Drafts," "Character," "Plot," "Dialogue." all the way from "False Starts" to "How Do You Know When You're Done?" Lamott encourages, instructs, and inspires. She discusses "Writers Block," "Writing Groups," and "Publication." Bracingly honest, she is also one of the funniest people alive.If you have ever wondered what it takes to be a writer, what it means to be a writer, what the contents of your school lunches said about what your parents were really like, this book is for you. From faith, love, and grace to pain, jealousy, and fear, Lamott insists that you keep your eyes open, and then shows you how to survive. And always, from the life of the artist she turns to the art of life.

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

    These are phrases that you hear almost every day in Spanish speaking countries, on TV, in movies, and when talking with friends in Spanish. Included in this book is FREE Access to Downloadable Mp3's of this book. Spanish Audio book is available by clicking link in book. This book is very basic Spanish. It is for beginning Spanish learners or students that want to review basic Spanish phrases. Some Topics Covered in this book are: Greetings Music What are you doing? Phrases about the Present (right now) Phrases about the Past Hotels Restaurants And Many More! Are you ready to learn some Spanish phrases you can use right away? GREAT! Download the book now and start learning Spanish.

    It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.