Rife with deeply personal, perhaps slightly embarrassing and often hysterical personal stories from the author herself, Put Your Big Girl Panties On and Deal With It is the guidebook for real women ready to take charge of their own lives.Inside, discover:--How to shuck those procrastination panties: Action Antidotes to the Top 10 Procrastination Perpetuator--How to untwist your knickers: Stressbusting for the rest of us--Aunties in your panties: What we can learn from the Big Girl Panty-Wearers who have gone before us--Big girl Valentine panties: Plenty of romance revivers and passion primers--Bodacious Beauty Britches: How to celebrate your unique gorgeousness

    From adjectives and exclamation points to dialect and hoopetedoodle, Elmore Leonard explains what to avoid, what to aspire to, and what to do when it sounds like "writing" (rewrite).Beautifully designed, filled with free-flowing, elegant illustrations and specially priced, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing is the perfect writer's—and reader's—gift.

    The perfect Christmas gift for the incurably curious* 'Funny and fascinating . . . it's really rather brilliant.' ZOE BALL'Made me chortle.' DERMOT O'LEARY'Fantastic . . . I loved it.' STEVE WRIGHT'The best trivia book of the season.' THE SPECTATOR 'Mind-blowing.' DAILY MAIL 'Genuinely interesting.' POPULAR SCIENCE Which lottery numbers should I pick?Is it true that we are made entirely of stardust?Can dogs tell the time?Why do songs get stuck in my head?If Rome wasn't built in a day, how long did it take?How do you wash a raspberry?What is the most expensive thing on Earth?Where is last Wednesday?These are just a few of the questions put to the QI Elves by the listeners of BBC Radio 2's The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show. In their brand new book, you'll learn their fascinating and frequently hilarious answers.From spiders to stinging nettles, bees to boy bands and twins to thermal undies, you'll wonder why these questions hadn't occurred to you before - but you'll never forget the answers and will want to share them with all your friends.Includes an introduction by Zoe Ball.PRAISE FOR THE QI ELVES' PREVIOUS BOOK FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK . . .'QI have outdone themselves!.' ALAN DAVIES'A cracker of a book.' SUE PERKINS'Genuinely useful and endlessly fascinating.' THE SPECTATOR 'Hilarious.' DAILY MAIL For more from the team behind QI's hit TV show check out the QI FACTS series of books, @qikipedia and listen to their weekly podcast at nosuchthingasafish.com or visit qi.com

    Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    At least that’s how it works when you’re dealing with the legendary mind of Carl Reiner. In his 2013 memoir, “I Remember Me,” Carl treated us to ninety years of professional and personal anecdotes, ranging from witty, weird and heartwarming to insightful, informative, and always funny – usually a combination of at least two, sometimes three or four, of the aforementioned. Carl had taken us on a nostalgic trip through every corner, every nook and cranny, of his life. Or so we thought. But over the next two years, new “old memories” kept coming… and coming… and coming… until, before too long, another book was born. In addition to the above adjectives, “I Just Remembered” adds a whole new batch: the mysterious saga of the gold money clip and the rubber bands; the beautiful and bizarre Joyce Kuntz; the shocking story of Jack Parr and Fidel Castro; never before heard revelations about William Shakespeare; whimsical journeys down the information superhighway via Twitter, Google and YouTube; and for good measure, truly useful health tips for a long and happy life. “I Just Remembered” is the perfect companion to “I Remember Me,” and it will have you asking, over and over, “How could he have forgotten that?!” He didn’t. He just remembered.

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

    But what about all the sh*t you do give a f*ck about-like your career, health, relationships, and bank account?Now, Sarah's back with more hilarious advice to make life easier and better. Whether your dream is to quit your day job and buy a food truck, pay off your debt, or just spend more time with your cat, Sarah cuts through the bullsh*t cycle of self-sabotage to show you how to be happy.You'll learn:Three simple tools for getting (and keeping) your sh*t togetherThe Power of Negative ThinkingHow to balance work and fun-and save money while you're at itWays to manage anxietyAnd tons of other awesome sh*t!Soon you'll be setting real goals, crushing them, and getting out the door for happy hour-every damn day.Praise for Sarah Knight"Genius." - Cosmopolitan"Self-help to swear by." - The Boston Globe"Hilarious [and] truly practical." - Booklist

    Certain to keep readers laughing even as they are nodding over the truth of the portrayals, there are glimpses of oneself or someone you know around every turn.

    Like Agatha Christie and Raymond Chandler, Sara Paretsky and Thomas Harris, you, too, can learn the trade secrets of quality detective fiction.It's true.  Just one year from now, you can deliver a completed mystery novel to a publisher--by writing only on weekends.  Authors Robert J.  Ray and Jack Remick guide you through the entire mystery-writing process, from creating a killer to polishing off the final draft.  Each weekend you'll focus on a specific task--learning the basics of novel-writing, the special demands of mystery-writing, and the secrets professionals use to create stories one scene at a time, building to a shivery, satisfying climax.  Using Agatha Christie's The Body in the Library as a model for the classical mystery tale and Martin Cruz Smith's Gorky Park for the hard-boiled mystery, this unique step-by-step program gives you all the information you need to reach your ultimate goal: a finished book in just 52 weeks!  Let two successful masters of the genre show you how...Discover: Why you must create your killer first The tricks to writing dialogue that does it all--moves your plot, involves your reader, and makes your style sizzle How to "bury" information (and corpses) for your reader to find Why you should NOT build your book around chapters Special techniques for clearing writer's block Plus: examples from Sue Grafton, Dashiell Hammett, Patricia Cornwell, Thomas Harris, Raymond Chandler, and more.

    draws on personal stories infused with humor and wisdom to extract impactful life lessons. He walks us through some of his most career-defining moments to emphasize the importance of living life with the punchline in mind. With a comedian's cadence and a dependable friend's outstretched hand, Michael Jr. addresses provocative issues including race, policing in America, forgiveness, socio-economics, and faith with gritty familiarity. While you will find yourself laughing out loud, at its core, FUNNY HOW LIFE WORKS reveals that if you pay close attention, the obstacles you face day to day are part of a much bigger plan that can help you realize and fulfill your life's mission. Like many of us, Michael Jr. wrestled with several moments of uncertainty, from living in his car to being held up by officers, but he never lost sight of the bigger picture. In this inspiring and self-reflective book, he implores us to do the same.

    And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career.This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It's a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He's been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you'll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.

    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

     Imagine if you could use Scrivener for Windows like a seasoned professional, knowing the keyboard shortcuts, what the tools on the toolbar do; flying through the application and creating an amazing story without being distracted by having to look up how to use a feature every time you want to use it. In the back of your mind you know that the Scrivener software you bought is going to simplify your writing process and help you become more productive. You have heard about the cool split screen views, virtual cork boards and the collections feature where you can process all instances of a document at once even though you have it in several different collections. But best of all you’ve heard that you can export your content to multiple platforms without having to change the original draft document! Imagine the time you are going to save. Not to mention that if you can format your own work for export you will no longer be held hostage to the whims and schedules of anyone else. The problem is, before you can do all that, you have to learn how to use the Scrivener software. This can be time consuming if you try to learn from the Scrivener users manual which is highly technical and includes every conceivable function and feature of the software. Don’t get me wrong. The Scrivener users manual has every bit of information you will ever need regarding Scrivener because it is supposed to be like that, but it sure is difficult to weed out the bits that pertain to the project you want to write. I know because that is the way I had to learn it. What I would have liked was a Scrivener essentials guide with: Plenty of pictures, so that you can instantly recognize the regions of the user interface. Arrows pointing right at the buttons mentioned in the instructions, making them easy to find. Instructions embedded into the images they refer to so that they don’t drift onto the next page because of the personal settings on your Kindle. No distracting instructions for Macintosh users that send you on a wild goose chase after functions that are not supported by Scrivener for Windows. So I wrote a guide just like that. In it you will learn to: Open a project and customize your workspaces. Toggle between normal Text Editing Mode, Cork Board Mode and Outlining Mode and how to use each of them as well as how to use the distraction free Full Screen Mode. Split your screen to have two documents or two versions of the same document open at once. Manage your files and folders, whether you are starting from scratch in Scrivener or want to import your content from another writing application pre-sorted into chapters or sections. Make use of Scrivener’s editing tools like collections and snapshots (which takes a snap shot of the current state of a document so that you can revert to it if you don’t like your subsequent edits.) Compile your work for export to your agent, as a paperback or as an eBook. How to download some tools so that you can preview your content before you send it out. If you are ready to improve your writing process, scroll up, click the buy button and start making the most of your Scrivener Software today!

    Inside you will find: - an explanation of book promotion strategies that can take only 5 minutes a day to perform - a list of "to do" items that are recommended to be completed before you start the 5-minute marketing plan - a 90-day marketing plan for your book that only takes 5 minutes a day to complete, and - a customizable Word template so that you can create your own 90-day, 5-minute marketing plan! Scroll up to download your copy today and sell more books in just 5 minutes a day!