Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language


Richard Lederer - 1987
    From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, Anguished English is a treasury of assaults upon our common language.

Totally MAD


John Ficarra - 2012
    Unwavering in their commitment to high quality stupidity, MAD's legendary artists and writers, long known as "The Usual Gang of Idiots," have brilliantly satirized politics, celebrities, sports, media, cultural trends, and more. Totally MAD (originally titled The New American Cookbook until cooler heads prevailed) is the ultimate collection of MAD's most idiotic material, including such classics as Spy vs. Spy, The MAD Fold-in, A MAD Look At..., The Lighter Side of, Horrifying Clichés and The Shadow Knows, plus modern MAD classics including The MAD Strip Club and The Fundalini Pages. Whether you grew up with MAD in the 50s, 60s, or 70s, reading it with a flashlight under the covers so your parents wouldn't catch you, or in the 80s, 90s and beyond, reading it while watching the MADtv sketch comedy show or the more recent animated series on the Cartoon Network, this book will bring back fond memories and also provide a great introduction to MAD for new readers. Then again, maybe not. SPECIAL BONUS!Includes "The Soul of MAD," 12 classic cover prints, ten featuring Alfred E. Neuman, MAD's gap-toothed grinning idiot mascot. These beautiful reproductions are suitable for framing or wrapping fish.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation


Lynne Truss - 2003
    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

Unreliable Memoirs


Clive James - 1980
    The other big event of that year was the outbreak of the Second World War, but for the moment, that did not affect me.' In the first instalment of Clive James's memoirs, we meet the young Clive, dressed in short trousers, and wrestling with the demands of school, various relatives and the occasional snake, in the suburbs of post-war Sydney.

The Clumsiest People in Europe


Favell Lee Mortimer - 2005
    Favell Lee Mortimer had something nasty to say about them. Their faults, according to Mrs. Mortimer, might have amounted to just about anything. The Irish "are very kind and good-natured when pleased, but if affronted, are filled with rage." In Italy, "the people are ignorant and wicked." In Sweden, "Nothing useful is well done...The carpenters and the blacksmiths are very clumsy in their work."Remarkably, all of these assertions come from a woman who only twice set foot outside of her native England. But lack of personal experience never kept Mrs. Mortimer from dispensing her horrifying wisdom about the evils of just about every nation on earth. Whether describing Europe ("It is dreadful to think what a number of murders are committed in Italy"), Asia ("The religion of Taou teaches men to act like madmen"), Africa ("The worst quality in any character is hypocrisy, and this is to be found in the Egyptian"), or America ("New Orleans is a dangerous place to live in, both for the body and the soul"), Mrs. Mortimer's views are consistently appalling. One hundred fifty years later, three of her forgotten classics have been compiled into one volume, The Clumsiest People in Europe, reviving the comically misinformed and startling prejudices of this unique Victorian eccentric.

Howl: A Collection of the Best Contemporary Dog Wit


The Bark - 2007
    An open bedroom door. An ill-timed squat. Dogs seem to have impeccable timing. Yet how quickly calamity turns to comedy in the company of a dog, and the wrong moment turns out to be just the right one. In this delightful follow-up to Dog Is My Co-Pilot, which won the Best Book of the Year award from the Dog Writers Association of America, the editors of The Bark bring together more stories, essays, and artwork that highlight the hilarity of dog behavior and the comical interactions between dog people and their four-legged friends. From playful puppies who wreak havoc in the home to dogs with a whole array of comic shticks and tricks, Howl celebrates the verve and the laughs pets offer their people. It includes laugh-out-loud reflections (and confessions), rib-tickling tales, and whimsical vignettes from well-known writers such as:• Dave Barry• Margaret Cho• Al Franken• Kinky Friedman• Pam Houston• Haven Kimmel• Neal Pollack• And many more!From the Hardcover edition.

America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't


Stephen Colbert - 2012
    You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book—it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.

Ali in Wonderland: And Other Tall Tales


Ali Wentworth - 2012
    Chelsea Handler, 1.5 oz. Nora Ephron, finish with a twist of Tina Fey, and you get Ali in Wonderland, the uproarious, revealing, and heartfelt memoir from acclaimed actress and comedian Ali Wentworth. Whether spilling secrets about her quintessentially WASPy upbringing (and her delicious rebellion against it), reminiscing about her Seinfeld “Schmoopie” days and her appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, or baring the details of starting a family alongside husband George Stephanopoulos, one thing is for sure—Ali has the unsurpassable humor and warmth of a born storyteller with a story to tell: the quirky, flavorful, surprising, and sometimes scandalous Ali in Wonderland.“Ali Wentworth is funny and warm and crazy all at once. Like Barbara Eden. But on something. Like crystal meth.” —Alec Baldwin

Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?


Molly Ivins - 1991
    One not infrequently sees cars or trucks sporting the bumper sticker "Have fun—beat the hell out of someone you love."

God Is Disappointed in You


Mark Russell - 2011
    if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and its interminable passages of poetry, genealogy, and law, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers and church sermons. Irreverent yet faithful, this book is a must-read for anyone who wants to see past the fog of religious agendas and cultural debates to discover what the Bible really says.

More Sand in My Bra: Funny Women Write from the Road, Again!


Julia Weiler - 2007
    From Australia to Zambia and everywhere in between, these true stories are full of bust-a-gut laughter. Nothing helps a travel story more than something going wrong — the frustration, embarrassment, and inconvenience provide great material for stories once the anguish has faded. The adventurers here encounter just about every unexpected mishap imaginable.

Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.


Rob Delaney - 2013
    He is the author of an endless stream of beautiful, insane jokes on Twitter. He is sober. He is sometimes brave. He speaks French. He loves women with abundant pubic hair and saggy naturals. He has bungee jumped off of the Manhattan Bridge. He enjoys antagonizing political figures. He listens to metal while he works out. He likes to fart. He broke into an abandoned mental hospital with his mother. He played Sir Lancelot in Camelot. He has battled depression. He is funny as s***. He cleans up well. He is friends with Margaret Atwood. He is lucky to be alive.   Read these hilarious and heartbreaking true stories and learn how Rob came to be the man he is today.

Someone Will Be with You Shortly: Notes from a Perfectly Imperfect Life


Lisa Kogan - 2010
    If David Sedaris were a girl... this is the book he’d write.” — Evan Handler, author of It's Only TemporarySomeone Will Be with You Shortly is a collection of the hilarious and poignant essays from beloved O Magazine columnist Lisa Kogan. Writing in the vein of Nora Ephron, Kogan has been called "the Erma Bombeck of our generation" (Kelly Corrigan, author of The Middle Place and Lift). In Someone Will Be with You Shortly, she brings her trademark humor to such real-life quandaries as single motherhood, aging, and sex.

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction


Jon StewartScott Jacobson - 2004
    But what is American democracy? In America (The Book), Jon Stewart and The Daily Show writing staff offer their insights into our unique system of government, dissecting its institutions, explaining its history and processes, and exploring the reasons why concepts like one man, one vote, government by the people, and every vote counts have become such popular urban myths. Topics include: Ancient Rome: The First Republicans; The Founding Fathers: Young, Gifted, and White; The Media: Can it Be Stopped?; and more!

The Sex Lives of Cannibals: Adrift in the Equatorial Pacific


J. Maarten Troost - 2003
    He was restless and lacked direction, and the idea of dropping everything and moving to the ends of the Earth was irresistibly romantic. He should have known better. The Sex Lives of Cannibals tells the hilarious story of what happens when Troost discovers that Tarawa is not the island paradise he dreamed of. Falling into one amusing misadventure after another, Troost struggles through relentless, stifling heat, a variety of deadly bacteria, polluted seas, toxic fish, and worst of all, no television or coffee. And that's just the first day. Sunburned, emaciated, and stinging with sea lice, Troost spends the next two years battling incompetent government officials, alarmingly large critters, erratic electricity, and a paucity of food options. He contends with a cast of bizarre local characters, including "Half-Dead Fred" and the self-proclaimed Poet Laureate of Tarawa (a British drunkard who's never written a poem in his life), and eventually settles into the ebb and flow of island life, just before his return to the culture shock of civilization. With the rollicking wit of Bill Bryson, the brilliant travel exposition of Paul Theroux, and a hipster edge that is entirely Troost's own, The Sex Lives of Cannibals is the ultimate vicarious adventure. Readers may never long to set foot on Tarawa, but they'll want to travel with Troost time and time again.