The Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why We Repeat Behaviors That Create Hardships and Ruin Relationships


Stanley Rosner - 2006
    Yet, 30 years later, the boy now a man leaves his own family. A young woman who's broken off an abusive relationship is now attracted to the same kind of personality in a potential boyfriend. And an attorney who grew up with an impossible-to-please father takes a job in a firm where the boss thinks praise is never productive. These are the kind of repetitive cycles that Stanley Rosner has seen time and again in his practice across 40 years as a clinical psychologist. A past president of the Connecticut Psychological Association, Rosner examines in this book whether there is for some people a compulsion to repeat self-destructive acts, and what the foundation for that compulsion might be, as well as how it can be changed to afford better, happier living.Assisted by popular author Patricia Hermes, Rosner offers many eye-opening vignettes from his therapy rooms, showing us clearly how early life events can create unconscious dilemmas that move us to repeat the situation in other forms. He aims to show us how we can resolve the issues that linger, explaining how to recognize these issues, then move forward to put them to rest in ways that are not self-sabotaging. What I have to offer, says Rosner, is the opportunity for change.

It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self


Hilary Jacobs Hendel - 2018
      Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions.   Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.   In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike   • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.   Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love


Logan Ury - 2021
    Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships


John M. Gottman - 2001
    . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of VirginiaFrom the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids

The Elephant and the Twig: The Art of Positive Thinking - 14 Golden Rules to Success and Happiness


Geoff Thompson - 2000
    It aims to help you to take the plunge to realize your potential, so that you do not have to remain stuck in a social and lifestyle rut as if there is no alternative.

Let That Sh*t Go: How to Find Peace of Mind When You're Standing in Line at the Grocery Store


Kate Petriw - 2019
    But it doesn’t have to be.It’s no wonder you can’t calm down: your to-do list is as long as your arm, your bank balance keeps dropping, you feel guilty for not calling your parents more often and there always seems to be a big deadline to meet at work. You need a serious breather—but you can barely find time to shower, let alone to exercise or meditate. In Let That Sh*t Go, Kate Petriw and Nina Purewal share the wisdom they’ve gained though decades of practising and teaching others to find peace of mind no matter how busy they are. Learn to put your life in perspective, take each day one step at a time and steal moments of calm amid the chaos. And remember: it’s not worth holding onto that sh*t.

Organizing Solutions for People With Attention Deficit Disorder: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized


Susan C. Pinsky - 2006
    Four out of every five adults do not even know they are ADD, and while it is often difficult to differentiate adults with true ADD from adults who are merely forgetful and disorganized, Organizing Solutions for People with ADD outlines new organizing strategies that will be of value to anyone who wants to improve their organizational, or lack of, skills in their life. The chapters consist of practical organizing solutions for ADD at Work; prioritizing, time management, and organizing documents, ADD at Home; paying bills on time, de-cluttering your house, scheduling and keeping appointments, ADD with Kids; driving them to various activities, grocery shopping and meals, laundry, babysitters, organizing drawers and closets, and ADD and You; organizing time for your social life, gym, and various other hobbies and activities. Color photographs that capture the short attention span of the reader are featured throughout, as well as sidebars and testimonials from adults with ADD, providing numerous organizational tips, such as, the importance of dividing time into minutes or moments, task completion, how to avoid procrastination, asking for help, and how not to be a packrat.

Your Best Year Yet: 7 simple ways to shift your thinking and take charge of your life


Kelly Exeter - 2014
     Your Best Year Yet reveals 7 simple ways to shift your thinking so you can: • Make better decisions; • Form better habits; • Manage your time better; and • Be the very best version of you. ADVANCE PRAISE FOR YOUR BEST YEAR YET "Loved it! So easy to read…like talking to a wise friend…and so “now” and current. Thank you…will adjust my thinking!!" —Ashley B "This advice is gold and I love how you’ve made it easy to read." —Kylie s "Fantastic. I found it really made me think about how important my mindset is to each and every day. When I finished reading it, I felt like standing and ‘Woop Wooping’ like Julia Roberts!" —Jodi G NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO HAVE YOUR BEST YEAR YET. LET'S GO!

Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle: How to Break Free of Negativity and Drama


Doreen Virtue - 2015
    In this groundbreaking book, Doreen Virtue guides you through the process of determining your Drama Quotient. You’ll discover how much stress you are unnecessarily tolerating and absorbing from other people and situations.      Doreen explains the physiological reasons why you can become addicted to high-drama relationships, jobs, and lifestyles, and how to heal from this cycle. You’ll come to understand how traumatic events from the past may have triggered post-traumatic symptoms, including anxiety, weight gain, and addictions—and you’ll learn natural and scientifically supported methods for restoring peace and balance to your body and your life.      Doreen shows you how to:   •      Deal with relatives, friends, and co-workers who are “hooked” on drama •      Assess your own level of drama addiction •      Stop allowing negativity in your life ·         Relieve anxiety and bring about inner peace        Go on an overall Drama Detox to clear away negativity, and let your light shine through!

Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life


Eric Greitens - 2015
    You can only move through it. There is a path through pain to wisdom, through suffering to strength, and through fear to courage if we have the virtue of resilience.In 2012, Eric Greitens unexpectedly heard from a former SEAL comrade, a brother-in-arms he hadn't seen in a decade. Zach Walker had been one of the toughest of the tough. But ever since he returned home from war to his young family in a small logging town, he d been struggling. Without a sense of purpose, plagued by PTSD, and masking his pain with heavy drinking, he needed help. Zach and Eric started writing and talking nearly every day, as Eric set down his thoughts on what it takes to build resilience in our lives.Eric's letters drawing on both his own experience and wisdom from ancient and modern thinkers are now gathered and edited into this timeless guidebook. Resilience explains how we can build purpose, confront pain, practice compassion, develop a vocation, find a mentor, create happiness, and much more. Eric s lessons are deep yet practical, and his advice leads to clear solutions.We all face pain, difficulty, and doubt. But we also have the tools to take control of our lives. Resilience is an inspiring meditation for the warrior in each of us.

Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength


Laurie A. Helgoe - 2008
    Introverts gain energy and power through reflection and solitude. Our culture, however, is geared toward the extrovert. The pressure to enjoy parties, chatter, and interactions can lead people to think that an inward orientation is a problem instead of an opportunity. Helgoe shows that the exact opposite is true: Introverts can capitalize on this inner source of power. INTROVERT POWER is a groundbreaking call for an introvert renaissance, a blueprint for how introverts can take full advantage of this hidden strength in daily life. Supplemented by the voices of several introverts, Helgoe presents a startling look at introvert numbers, influence, and economic might. Revolutionary and invaluable, INTROVERT POWER includes ideas for how introverts can learn to: Claim private spaceCarve out time to thinkBring a slower tempo into daily lifeCreate breaks in conversation and relationshipsDeal effectively with parties, interruptions, and crowds QUIET IS MIGHT. SOLITUDE IS STRENGTH. INTROVERSION IS POWER.

Never Get Angry Again: The Foolproof Way to Stay Calm and in Control in Any Conversation or Situation


David J. Lieberman - 2018
    Lieberman's comprehensive, holistic look at the underlying emotional, physical, and spiritual causes of anger, and a practical guide to what the reader can do to gain perspective.David J. Lieberman understands that a change in perspective is all that is needed to help keep from flying off the handle. In Never Get Angry Again, he reveals how to see anger through a comprehensive, holistic lens, illuminates the underlying emotional, spiritual, and physical components of anger, and gives the readers simple, practical tools to snuff out anger before it even occurs.Take a deep breath and count to ten. Meditate. Visualize your happy place.You’ve probably heard all of these anger management techniques and more from friends, family, and experts, but somehow they miss the mark when it comes to coping with the complex emotion of anger.Let’s face it: if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn’t be reading this book. These clumsy attempts to maintain calmness are usually futile and sometimes emotionally draining. The fact is, either something bothers us (causing anxiety, frustration, or anger), or it doesn’t. A state of calm is better accomplished by not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we fight against our own nature.

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward


Daniel H. Pink - 2022
    Pink explains in The Power of Regret. They're a universal and healthy part of being human. And understanding how regret works can help us make smarter decisions, perform better at work and school, and bring greater meaning to our lives.Drawing on research in social psychology, neuroscience, and biology, Pink debunks the myth of the "no regrets" philosophy of life. And using the largest sampling of American attitudes about regret ever conducted as well as his own World Regret Survey--which has collected regrets from more than 15,000 people in 105 countries--he lays out the four core regrets that each of us has. These deep regrets offer compelling insights into how we live and how we can find a better path forward.As he did in his bestsellers Drive, When, and A Whole New Mind, Pink lays out a dynamic new way of thinking about regret and frames his ideas in ways that are clear, accessible, and pragmatic. Packed with true stories of people's regrets as well as practical takeaways for reimagining regret as a positive force, The Power of Regret shows how we can live richer, more engaged lives.

Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything


Anne Bogel - 2017
    But what we're finding is this: knowing which Harry Potter character you are is easy, but actually knowing yourself isn't as simple as just checking a few boxes on an online quiz.For readers who long to dig deeper into what makes them uniquely them (and why that matters), popular blogger Anne Bogel has done the hard part--collecting, exploring, and explaining the most popular personality frameworks, such as Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, and others. She explains to readers the life-changing insights that can be gained from each and shares specific, practical real-life applications across all facets of life, including love and marriage, productivity, parenting, the workplace, and spiritual life. In her friendly, relatable style, Bogel shares engaging personal stories that show firsthand how understanding personality can revolutionize the way we live, love, work, and pray.

No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work


Liz Fosslien - 2019
    We're expected to be authentic but not too authentic. Professional but not stiff. Friendly but not an oversharer.As organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity but so does letting your emotions run wild.In this book we'll help you figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share the latest research and helpful tips, and reveal the surprising reason why you'll actually be more healthier and focused if you're less passionate about your job.Drawing on what we've learned from behavioural economics, psychology and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.