What time is the 3:00 parade? Why does a child need to be 40 inches tall to ride a roller coaster? What happens when the president of France gets lost inside Pirates of the Caribbean? A former employee, or "cast member", at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom answers these and other questions while sharing humorous stories about working inside the world's most popular theme park."Stories from a Theme Park Insider" takes you inside the park's famous tunnels and backstage for a look at how theme parks really work, and the funny moments and embarrassments that can happen when your work is someone else's vacation.

    Written for Americans, but equally amusing to anyone visiting the shores of the Great Southern Land, this book examines the relationship between Australia and the U.S., including how Australians view their American cousins. The author has plenty of experience of working and dealing with Americans. He is married to an American nurse and has lived his life within the massive cultural influence that America has shared with Australia since the Second World War. The author’s stories are brimming with empathy and jokes for his American audience. The book is written from the opinion of an Aussie Bloke and the easy-to-digest chapters are just long enough to leave the reader smiling and well informed.Topics include Blokes and Sheilas, Bloody Foster’s, Dangerous Creatures, Talking to Dogs, The GAFA, Speaking Strail-yun and Working for the Queen. Confused? You won’t be after reading this book!

    How manyCan you master?From sonnets to double dactyls,Odes to limericks—Raschka and Janeczko (and a frisky mule)Make learning the rules of poetrySo much fun!In this splendid and playful volume, acclaimed poetry anthologist Paul B. Janeczko and Caldecott Honor illustrator Chris Raschka present lively examples of twenty-nine poetic forms, demonstrating not only the (sometimes bendable) rules of poetry, but also the spirit that brings these forms so wonderfully to life. Featuring formal poems, some familiar and some never before published, from the likes of Eleanor Farjeon (aubade), X. J. Kennedy (elegy), Ogden Nash (couplet), Liz Rosenberg (pantoum), and William Shakespeare, the sonnet king himself, A KICK IN THE HEAD perfectly illustrates Robert Frost's maxim that poetry without rules is like a tennis match without a net.

    Our Founding Fathers doodled, and so did Andrew Jackson. Benjamin Harrison accomplished almost nothing during his time in the White House, but he left behind some impressive doodles. During the twentieth century--as the federal bureaucracy grew and meetings got longer--the presidential doodle truly came into its own. Theodore Roosevelt doodled animals and children, while Dwight Eisenhower doodled weapons and self-portraits. FDR doodled gunboats, and JFK doodled sailboats. Ronald Reagan doodled cowboys and football players and lots of hearts for Nancy. The nation went wild for Herbert Hoover's doodles: A line of children's clothing was patterned on his geometric designs. The creators of Cabinet magazine have spent years scouring archives and libraries across America. They have unearthed hundreds of presidential doodles, and here they present the finest examples of the genre. Historian David Greenberg sets these images in context and explains what they reveal about the inner lives of our commanders in chief. Are Kennedy's dominoes merely squiggles, or do they reflect deeper anxieties about the Cold War? Why did LBJ and his cabinet spend so much time doodling caricatures of one another? Smart, revealing, and hilarious -- Presidential Doodles is the ideal gift for anyone interested in politics or history. And for anyone that doodles!

    Based on the hit Cartoon Network show that The Onion's A.V. Club calls "a revelation," The Amazing World of Gumball will delight readers of all ages. Collects issues #5-8.

    A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.

    Suspended for a few seconds, they float in their own space and time with their own hidden prospects. For want of a better term, we call these moments “magical” and when we remember them they are cloaked in a halo of special meaning.’For 14-year-old Johnny Clegg, hearing Zulu street music as plucked on the strings of a guitar by Charlie Mzila one evening outside a corner café in Bellevue, Johannesburg, was one such ‘magical’ moment. The success story of Juluka and later Savuka, and the cross-cultural celebration of music, language, story, dance and song that stirred the hearts of millions across the world, is well documented. Their music was the soundtrack to many South Africans’ lives during the turbulent 70s and 80s as the country moved from legislated oppression to democratic freedom. It crossed borders, boundaries and generations, resonating around the world and back again. Less known is the story of how it all began and developed. Scatterling of Africa is that origin story, as Johnny Clegg wrote it and wanted it told. It is the story of how the son of an unconventional mother, grandson of Jewish immigrants, came to realise that identity can be a choice, and home is a place you leave and return to as surely as the seasons change.

    But in this book, it's also true that a cow can result in both a bottle of milk and a painting of a cow, and an ape in a jungle may become an urban King Kong. Just as day turns into night and back again, a many-tiered cake is both created and eaten down to a single piece. Each spread or sequence of spreads explores a before and after.

    A is for Addition, and there are rocks in the shape of real numbers, too. B is for Bird, and there is a bird rock on a nest with an egg. G is for Ghosts, and there is a host of rocks that look like ghosts! Children and adults alike will pore over these fascinating rocks, and will be inspired collect their own.

    In it, the hero of the story learns that it is better to be honest than to cheat, and that honesty will bring real rewards.

    But wisecracking Dad and their two sons are skeptical about how much fun this trip will be, and they're not quite sure what to make of the art. ("What on earth is that supposed to be?" asks Dad.) But, with Mom’s help, once the boys start really looking at the paintings, they begin to find what pleasures they contain. Most of the family leave with a new appreciation of art – Dad is just never going to get it – as well as a sketchbook. On the trip home, Mom teaches the boys – and readers – a drawing game, which one of her sons (this book’s author) has been playing ever since.This new book is the product of Anthony Browne's engagement as writer-and-illustrator-in-residence at the Tate Britain in London. There he worked with a thousand children from inner-city schools, teaching literature using the resources in the gallery – and playing the shape game. In his artwork for the book, he surreally transforms, in his signature style, some famous paintings in the Tate's collection.

    Or, maybe, we sent a text message to the wrong number, every one of us has sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote.Either way, these texts messages always end up hilarious and embarrassing, depending on which side you’re on, our text conversion becomes funny beyond any limits, luckily our smartphones have option to capture them as a snapshot. And that is exactly what all of the following people did in order for the rest of us to enjoy what are easily some of the funniest text messages you’ll ever lay your eyes on. So do not hesitate to grab your copy NOW! Go on. Read ’em and laugh. Enjoy

    When her mother accidentally puts the rug in the washing machine and destroys it, Emma is devastated and ceases her art. But she soon comes to find that creativity comes from within, not from an object.  A perfect gift for any young artist in your life.

    And in a manner befitting its subject, this witty, rigorously researched, and accessible biography captures Handel's essential spirit — from a child who smuggled a clavichord into the attic to make music against his father's orders to a young man who imported forty-five pounds of mountain snow to chill wine for a gala. LOS ANGELES TIMES Book Prize winner M. T. Anderson depicts not only Handel's triumphs but also his struggles, chronicling the illness, ill fortune, and despair that led to his greatest achievement, the Messiah. With impeccable detail and a wink at the reader, Kevin Hawkes illustrates this singular story of Handel and the music through which he lives on.

    For every successful lick there's an aborted leg hump, for each whiff of a pretty posterior there is a howl lamenting unrequited adoration. In A Pug's Guide to Dating, pug lover and illustrator of the moment Gemma Correll has put together a collection of 50 charming cartoons, observing from a pug's point of view, the pitfalls facing young pugs in their quest for love.