I Just Wanted to be Loved


Stuart Howarth - 2009
    He is released back into the world without any support or counselling from the authorities.The child abuse and numerous court cases had almost destroyed him, and Stuart became reliant on drugs and alcohol. With his life spiralling out of control, Stuart attempts suicide a number of times. The last try leaving the doctors that resuscitated him incredulous he had survived.At the point of no-return, Stuart was sent to an hospital in the Scottish highlands to fight the demons that assailed him and rebuild his life. This is the remarkable story of his fight to be his own man.

The Bad Room: Held Captive and Abused by My Evil Carer. A True Story of Survival.


Jade Kelly - 2020
    She was wrong … this is her staggering true story.‘This must be what prison is like,’ I thought as another hour crawled by. In fact, prison would be better … at least you knew your sentence. You could tick off the days until you got out. In the Bad Room we had no idea how long we’d serve.After years of constant abuse, Jade thought her foster mother Carol Docherty would be the answer to her prayers. Loving and nurturing, she offered ten-year-old Jade a life free of fear.But once the regular social-worker checks stopped, Carol turned and over the next six years Jade and three other girls were kept prisoner in a bedroom they called the ‘bad room’.Shut away for 16 hours at a time, they were starved, violently beaten, forbidden from speaking or using the toilet and routinely humiliated. Jade was left feeling broken and suicidal.This is the powerful true story of how one woman banished the ghosts of her past by taking dramatic action to protect the life of every vulnerable child in care.

Secret Slave: Kidnapped and abused for 13 years. This is my story of survival


Anna Ruston - 2016
    You're not going anywhere. You're mine now.'Growing up in a deeply troubled family, 15-year-old Anna felt lost and alone in the world. So when a friendly taxi driver befriended her, Anna welcomed the attention. She agreed to go home with him to meet his family. She wouldn't escape for over a decade.Held captive by a sadistic paedophile, with the full acceptance of his family, Anna was subjected to despicable levels of sexual abuse and torture. The unrelenting violence and degradation resulted in numerous miscarriages, and the birth of four babies... each one stolen away from Anna at birth.Her salvation arrived thirteen years too late, but despite her shattered mind and body, Anna finally managed to flee. This is her harrowing, yet uplifting story, of survival.

Ghost Boy: My Miraculous Escape from a Life Locked Inside My Own Body


Martin Pistorius - 2011
    But he was alive and trapped inside his own body for ten years.In January 1988 Martin Pistorius, aged twelve, fell inexplicably sick. First he lost his voice and stopped eating. Then he slept constantly and shunned human contact. Doctors were mystified. Within eighteen months he was mute and wheelchair-bound. Martin's parents were told an unknown degenerative disease left him with the mind of a baby and less than two years to live.Martin was moved to care centers for severely disabled children. The stress and heartache shook his parents’ marriage and their family to the core. Their boy was gone. Or so they thought.Ghost Boy is the heart-wrenching story of one boy’s return to life through the power of love and faith. In these pages, readers see a parent’s resilience, the consequences of misdiagnosis, abuse at the hands of cruel caretakers, and the unthinkable duration of Martin’s mental alertness betrayed by his lifeless body.We also see a life reclaimed—a business created, a new love kindled—all from a wheelchair. Martin's emergence from his own darkness invites us to celebrate our own lives and fight for a better life for others.

Tiger, Tiger


Margaux Fragoso - 2011
    She is seven; he is fifty-one. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child's paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for the attention Peter lavishes on her, and he creates an imaginative universe for her, much as Lewis Carroll did for his real-life Alice. In time, he insidiously takes on the role of Margaux's playmate, father, and lover. Charming and manipulative, Peter burrows into every aspect of Margaux's life and transforms her from a child fizzing with imagination and affection into a brainwashed young woman on the verge of suicide. But when she is twenty-two, it is Peter -- ill, and wracked with guilt -- who kills himself, at the age of sixty-six. Told with lyricism, depth, and mesmerizing clarity, Tiger, Tiger vividly illustrates the healing power of memory and disclosure. This extraordinary memoir is an unprecedented glimpse into the psyche of a young girl in free fall and conveys to readers -- including parents and survivors of abuse -- just how completely a pedophile enchants his victim and binds her to him.

The Prison Doctor


Amanda Brown - 2019
    From miraculous pregnancies to dirty protests, and from violent attacks on prisoners to heartbreaking acts of self-harm, she has witnessed it all. In this memoir, Amanda reveals the stories, the patients and the cases that have shaped a career helping those most of us would rather forget.

Too Hurt to Stay: The True Story of a Troubled Boy’s Desperate Search for a Loving Home


Casey Watson - 2012
    It’s a desperate act, a cry for help, but his parent’s reaction – good riddance – speaks volumes. Immediately Casey’s hackles are up for this poor child: it seems he either comes to live with the Watsons, or he’ll be sent to a children’s home.Spencer is the middle child of four siblings. His parents claim all their other kids are ‘normal’ and that Spencer was born ‘vicious and evil’. Casey and her family are disgusted – kids aren’t born evil, they get damaged. Although when vigilante neighbours start to take action and their landlord threatens eviction, Casey is stretched to the limits, trying desperately to hold on to this boy who causes so much pain and destruction.Casey is determined to try and understand what Spencer is going through and help him find the loving home he is so desperately searching for. But it’s only when Spencer’s mother gets in touch with social services for the first time that gradually everything starts to make sense.

No More Hurt


Eaton Hamilton - 1994
    LGBT Studies. Lesbian. Queer. Child sexual abuse. Mothers. Parenting."A true story about Ellen's discovery that her daughters were being sexually abused by their father. There are no arrests, no happy endings and no one gets "healed". Instead, it's a painful account of how the children are harmed and how communities respond to such accusations. At a time when so much focus is on convictions and criminals, I found this a moving reminder that the reality of these situations is much more complex." (Ros Coward Observer)"Ellen Prescott writes with a literary flair that adds to the power of her story. She hits the reader in the gut on page 1: "In 1982, when my daughters were four and one, I decided to kill them . . . I was so in love with them, there at the door of their bedroom, that all I could think of was murder." You'd have to be anesthetized to put the book down at this point." (Toronto Star)"I recommend it to anyone, including most physicians who need a better understanding of human responses to suffering." (Willard Edwin Smith, BSc, MD, FRCP)"Well paced and … excruciatingly well written." (Quill and Quire)"This is a gripping story which I read from start to finish at one sitting." (Geist)"I liked Mondays are Yellow, Sundays are Grey so much that I bought a couple of copies for my office and they are rotating amongst my clients. I’m sure that it will be of tremendous help to both survivors and mothers of survivors." --Caren Durante, M.Ed."I was very impressed with the writer’s account and with her accomplishment of dealing with her own and her daughters’ abuse experiences. I appreciate your bringing this book to my attention." Dr. J. Adler, Registered Psychologist"I’m writing to tell you how much I admired and relished Mondays are Yellow, Sundays are Grey. I stayed in bed for 2 days and read it slowly. The story’s truth had my inner organs hiding behind each other, shifting all around. Having been abused as a kid myself, I was the victims; being a parent, I was the mother; being a man, I was the abuser. The critical me admired the smooth, unblinking text." –a reader"Thank you for writing about your experience. It helped me understand a lot about myself and my relationships to read about all of you. I have never read a personal account that so closely mirrored mine. I wish I had had a mother like you to hold me and comfort me and reassure me that not all life was pain. You’re a heck of a writer." –a reader'You'd tell me if Daddy touched your private parts, wouldn't you, Carolina?''No,' said Carolina firmly.'Why not, honey?''Because it's a secret.'It is only when long-buried memories from her own childhood start to surface that Ellen realises the terrible truth about her two young daughters: Carolina and Amy are being sexually abused by their father.Ellen writes with unflinching honesty about the heartbreak of finding out her daughters were abused, her fears of losing custody and her fight to have her story believed by sceptical doctors and social workers.A harrowing true story of sexual abuse from a mother's point of view, No More Hurt is a deeply affecting chronicle of Ellen's hard-won battle to create a place of safety and love for herself and her daughters.

Tears at Bedtime


Tom Wilson - 2007
    David Murphy was supposed to be his carer, instead he lifted his victims from their beds in the dead of night, and Tom was powerless to stop it.Tom endured years of horrific abuse which led to years of silence and self-torture. He grew up to be a troubled man, stumbling through care homes, schools, borstal and eventually prison. The damage that was done to him in those early years had destroyed his life.Then, one day, Tom read a newspaper article which unlocked the terrible memories he'd kept hidden for over forty tormented years. And a painful battle for justice began...

Street Kid


Judy Westwater - 2006
    Abducted by her psychotic spiritualist father and kept like a dog in the backyard, she went on to suffer at the brutal hands of nuns in a Manchester orphanage, before living wild on the streets. An incredible, heart-wrenching story of a child who refused to give up.After a childhood lived in terror, in 1994 Judy was presented with an Unsung Heroes Award for her charity work with street children in South Africa. Her moving story came to light after Judy was interviewed by John Peel on BBC’s ‘Home Truths’. ‘Street Kid’ is the inspirational and heartwrenching story of her early years.At age two, in postwar Manchester, Judy was snatched from her mother and sisters by her psychotic father – a spiritualist preacher. He kept her in his backyard, leaving her to scavenge from bins to beat off starvation. At four, she was sent to an inhumanely strict catholic orphanage, before being put back in her father’s cruel care. For the next three years she was treated as a virtual slave.After being taken by her father to South Africa, Judy ran away to join the circus where she found her first taste of freedom and friendship – before her father tracked her down. Weeks later Judy was alone again and living on the streets, too terrified to turn to her circus friends. For 9 months 12-year-old Judy made her home in a shed behind a bottle store before collapsing in a shop doorway from near-starvation.Finally, aged 17, Judy managed to pay her way back to England to find her mother and sisters. But her return to Manchester cruelly shattered any dreams of a happy reunion.Determined that her childhood experiences should in some way give meaning to her life, Judy has worked tirelessly to help children in need back in South Africa in the very place she had been treated to such abuse herself. She has opened 7 centres to date.

Betrayed


Lyndsey Harris - 2006
    But from the age of six she was targeted by a vicious, manipulative but invisible enemy — and her life became a living hell.Before long she was suspended from school, alienated from her friends, completely bewildered and utterly terrified. Her happy childhood had been destroyed forever.For her mother, Lyndsey, it was a life beyond her worst nightmares.Her little girl, the daughter she loved so much, seemed to have transformed overnight — into a child she hardly recognized. A child she almost feared. Suddenly, Lyndsey was fighting to keep her family together — and to save her daughter’s sanity.But then the horrific truth started to become clear. And both Lyndsey and Sarah discovered they had been the innocent victims of the most horrifying betrayal imaginable…

The Devil On The Doorstep


Annabelle Forest - 2014
    For the next few years she was brainwashed by the cult's leader, Colin Batley, who ran a harem of followers from his unassuming cul-de-sac in Kidwelly, Wales. Batley ruled the cult with an iron will, his twisted ideology based on Aleister Crowley's Book of the Law, which informed their day-to-day lives. From the age of 11, Annabelle was repeatedly raped by Batley, and threatened with going to hell if she angered 'the gods' by refusing Batley's sick demands. Annabelle's mother joined in the sessions and even filmed them. Annabelle lived a double life - a schoolgirl by day, a sex slave at night. It might have endured for years had she not fallen pregnant at 17 with Batley's baby. In February 2008 she gave birth to a daughter, Emily, who gave Annabelle a reason to live and hope. Now she knew she had to escape, especially after Batley forced her into prostitution when Emily was three months old. She contacted relatives through Facebook on a computer in the public library and found the courage to report Batley, her mother and the other cult members to the police. In 2011 her evidence helped convict 48-year-old Batley for life on 11 charges of rape and numerous other sexual offences. Annabelle's mother was also jailed, along with two others in a case that came to be known as the 'cul-de-sac cult'. But Annabelle's story was far from over - she had to adjust to a new life away from the rules and rituals of the cult. Today she lives a happy and settled life with Emily and her partner but the nightmares of her damaged past will haunt her forever. Child of Courage refers to Annabelle herself but also her daughter, the child who gave her the chance to hope, the will to fight and the courage to live again.

A Brother's Journey


Richard B. Pelzer - 2000
    I am more afraid of her than ever...I get in more trouble for anything I do or say. Now I find that I'm always in trouble and I don't know why. Now that David is gone, I'm afraid that she will try to kill me, like she tried to kill him. I'm afraid that she will treat me like an animal like she did him. I'm afraid that now I'm her IT. The Pelzer family's secret life of fear and abuse was first revealed in Dave Pelzer's inspiring New York Times bestseller, A Child Called "It," followed by The Lost Child and A Man Called Dave. Here, for the first time, Richard Pelzer tells the courageous and moving story of his abusive childhood. From tormenting his brother David to becoming himself the focus of his mother's wrath to his ultimate liberation-here is a horrifying glimpse at what existed behind closed doors in the Pelzer home. Equally important, Richard Pelzer's touching account is a testament to the strength of the human heart and its capacity to triumph over almost unimaginable trauma.

Cry Silent Tears: The Horrific True Story of the Mute Little Boy in the Cellar


Joe Peters - 2008
    When a freak accident saw his father burn to death in front of him, Joe was left at the mercy of his mother. Without the love of his friend and brother, he wouldn't have survived. With them, he went on to spend his life fighting child abuse. Joe was just five years old and the horrific scene literally struck him dumb. He didn't speak for four and a half years, which meant he was unable to ask anyone for help as his life turned into a living hell. His schizophrenic mother and two of his older brothers spent the following years beating him, raping him and locking him in the cellar at the family home. Fed on scraps that he was forced to lick from the floor, he was sometimes left naked in the dark for three days without human contact. Unable to read or write, all Joe could do to communicate his suffering was draw pictures. The violence and sexual abuse grew in severity as more people, including his stepfather, were invited to use him in any way they chose. The only thing that saved Joe was the kindness of his elder brother and his only school friend, both of whom showed him that love was possible even in the darkest of situations. At fourteen he finally found the courage to run away, hiding in a hut by a railway line, fed on scraps by some local children who found him. Joe's is the ultimate insider's story, casting light into the darkest of hidden worlds, and a truly inspirational account of how one small boy found the strength to overcome almost impossible odds and become a remarkable man. Now that he has found his voice again, Joe speaks out against child abuse and helps support and protect other children whose lives have been blighted by it.

Helpless: The True Story of a Neglected Girl Betrayed and Exploited by the Neighbour She Trusted


Marianne Marsh - 2009
    Uncared for and unkempt she was rejected at school by her peers and scarcely tolerated by her teachers. Only one person gave her the affection she craved; a neighbour who seeing the vulnerable child knew she was easy prey for his perverted desires.‘Little Lady’ he called her over the few months he groomed her. Less than twelve months later she was caught in a trap of fear - if she talked she would be punished. With no one to turn to she kept ‘their secret’. At thirteen she fell pregnant.Still too frightened to speak out she refused to tell the social workers who the father was. Without family support the teenager gave birth to a daughter in the unmarried mother's home.Six weeks later the baby she had already grown to love was taken away for adoption. Marianne returned home, but the neighbour's abuse continued and a year later she was pregnant again.This time her father literally tried to beat the baby out of her but she failed to miscarry. Scared for her life and that of her baby's she ran away from home carrying only a plastic bag stuffed with her few possessions.Marianne who still missed her first child desperately struggled to keep her second daughter. Two months after the birth she realized that for the baby's sake she would have to hand her over for adoption.Helpless is Marianne’s heartbreaking story as told the bestselling author of Don’t Tell Mummy.