Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.

    In no other cat book will you find such riveting accounts as:The Great Cat Butt Wiping AdventureJingle Ball HorrorsThe Creature Under the FridgeYoga CatThe Big Brown Mouse & Other Toys Our Cat LoathesLessons In Stalking is the purr-fect gift for cat lovers!Dena Harris has been a humor columnist for Cats & Kittens magazine and contributor to Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul. Her newest book, "Who Moved My Mouse? A Self-Help Book for Cats (Who Don't Need Any Help)" is being translated into 5 languages. Visit www.denaharris.com or www.selfhelpforcats.com for more info.

    Smart phones can make us look really dumb! Get this e-book and laugh your #@% off at what happens when you don't double-check before you hit send! Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    Victory, after all, could come down to choosing between the supposed sleeper and the overrated prospects who won't be able to fool people in the Show like they have down on the farm.    Nearly every major-league team has sought the advice of current or former Prospectus writers, and readers of Baseball Prospectus 2014 will understand what all those fans have been raving about. "If you're a baseball fan and you don't know what BP is, you're working in a mine without one of those helmets with the lights on it."—Keith Olbermann "The first time I saw the PECOTA projections, I realized that someone out there understood." —Jeff Luhnow, General Manager, Houston Astros "For me, every year baseball begins with the big, brilliant, beautiful book you are holding in your hands right now."—Joe PosnanskiBaseball Prospectus 2013 correctly predicted:*Disappointing performances by Albert Pujols, Dan Haren, Michael Bourn, Justin Upton, and Tommy Hanson.*Breakouts by Paul Goldschmidt, Freddie Freeman, Kyle Seager, Matt Moore, Shelby Miller, and Jason Kipnis, as well as bounceback seasons from Jayson Werth and Shin-Soo Choo.*That Max Scherzer would be a Cy Young contender and Michael Wacha ace-in-waiting for the Cardinals.*That Wil Myers would be a middle-of-the-order bat for Tampa Bay and Josh Donaldson would finally win the Rich Harden trade for the A's.*That CC Sabathia's velocity drop could be a problem, but Felix Hernandez's would not be. *That Joaquin Benoit, Kenley Jansen, and Koji Uehara were better bullpen bets than pre-season closer picks Bruce Rondon, Brandon League, and Joel Hanrahan.

    This language contains many subtle, but important nuances and is very different from human verbal communication, but it is nevertheless a language that can be learned. The Secret Language of Dogs shows you how to interpret what your canine is telling you through their behavior, and it explains how they, in turn, interpret our body language and attempts to communicate and interact with them.Known as “man’s best friend” for a reason, dogs are scientifically proven to enhance our quality of life. The Secret Language of Dogs helps return the favor by providing insights into why dogs act as they do. It also contains practical advice for training, addressing common health and behavioral problems, and strengthening the bond with your canine friend. Promptly and properly decoding canine communication is the key to both a contented dog and a confident owner. The Secret Language of Dogs takes the mysteries out of dog body language, giving you the insight to gain a better understanding of your much-loved pet.

    Not for the Wilcox family. To triumph, they must rebuild their boat on a remote Pacific island. Damage sustained on the reef and a lack of resources haunt them the rest of the way around the world as they face daunting obstacles, including wild weather, pirates, gun boats, mines and thieves, plus pesky bureaucrats and cockroaches as stubborn as the family. Without a working engine and no way to communicate with the outside world, they struggle to reach home before their broken rig comes crashing down and they run out of food in a trial that tests them to their limits.

    The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

    Some messages are given in ways that do require an acute awareness and more interpretation as well. From the Heavens above, Signs are given by deceased pets to connect with their families they left behind. Oftentimes, the gifts they share are unseen or are difficult to identify.Learning to speak the Language of Spirit require practice, but once identified, the joy of hearing from your Pet in Spirit can bring great comfort. This book is an ABC's narrative for identifying signs, messages, and signals from the Afterworld. It shares a simple way to look for, and read, communications from Pet's in the Hereafter.For anyone looking to continue their relationship with a beloved Pet in the Afterlife, this book can help you identify their Gifts from Heaven.Love lives forever... and so do our Souls...

    Moms are everywhere; they've even taken over Blogging. Hundreds of blogs about how Fluffy got his first tooth, or Muffy said a new word. It's enough to make people want to vomit sugar.I've been told that i'm not your typical mom, and my blog is not your typical blog; I've even been called the "Eminem of Mommy Blogging”, honest, blunt, and usually vulgar. This book is my experiences and stories as I ventured through the Mommy Blogging world, trying to make light of some disgusting situations, and it wasn't always pretty. I had to learn the hard way that blatant honesty may not always be the best policy... not if you want to keep your kids."Musings of a 20-something Mom" is a lesson on how NOT to blog, unless you want to piss off your friends, family, and get a pack of crazies chasing after you; and a reminder that when it comes to parenting, there's always going to be someone out there saying "you're doing it wrong!"

    Her father served in the military, and she traveled the world with him and her family. His assignments took them to Alaska, Virginia, Japan, Texas, and Germany, as part of the US Army's responsibilities in policing the world. This candid memoir recounts her family's life in new places and cultures following World War II. What was it like to be a child living in Japan seven years after the war? What was it like to be a thirteen-year-old living in Germany twelve years after the war? What was it like to grow up moving between cultures? This is the story of one family bound to service in the military at a time when the world was being redefined. For a young girl, it was the adventure of a lifetime as she learned the secrets of finding her own way in that new world. The author's story was informed by reading her father's diary, which offers up intimate and candid insight into the life of a typical soldier in a time of war. His entries describe his time serving aboard a battleship built for 800 soldiers--but carrying 6,000 to war. His tales--told from the perspective of a young soldier in southern England, Wales, and Scotland from 1943 to 1945--are glimpses into a life many will never know firsthand.

    Now, James Scurlock engages, educates, and entertains readers with the captivating story of DHL co-founder and billionaire Larry Hillblom.King Larry begins with an early biography of Larry Lee Hillblom, a mercurial young man who grew up on a peach farm outside of Fresno, California. Hillblom co-founded DHL in 1969 (three years before FedEx), and it became the fastest-growing corporation in history. Hillblom’s expatriate life began in 1981, when he retreated to a small tax haven in the Western Pacific. There he led the resistance to American meddling in the Marianas Islands. Hillblom’s voracious appetite for underage prostitutes is another facet of his unusual story. In 1995, Hillblom’s amoral, thrill-seeking nature caught up to him when his seaplane disappeared off the coast of Anatahan, leaving behind an estate worth billions. Weeks later, five impoverished women and their attorneys came forward to challenge Hillblom’s will in a legal battle for his fortunes that continues to this day. Meticulously researched and thoroughly engaging, King Larry will satisfy fans of such bestsellers as Confessions of an Economic Hit Man and The Accidental Billionaires .

    You'll learn all the latest about raising a cat of your dreams, introducing a new kitten to the rest of your family, and enjoy the award winning cute kitten pictures. Nationally known pet authority Amy Shojai's award-winning book contains the latest cat behavior information and kitten care research, including updated cat vaccinations guidelines, animal behavior advice, cat language tips and more. This veritable "Kitten 101" is packed with all the must-know facts about cats and kitten facts including: Choosing a kitten Best kittens for adoption Kitten breeds and buying kittens How to train a kitten Understand kitten behavior Fixing and preventing common kitten problems Toilet training cats and litter training kittens How to stop kitten biting and cat hissing Understand cat communication, cat body language and cat purrs Cat breed guide with care considerations and kitty personality types Introducing a kitten to a cat and/or a dog Kittens food considerations Grooming a cat or kitten Kitten vaccinations Kitten parasites and cat worms Kitten spay and neuter Kitten first aid Cat legends, myths, and fun facts Plus a myriad of UPDATED kitten and cat supply resources: the best kitten Websites, cat associations and feline clubs, animal welfare organizations and feline foundations, recommended cat books and kitten magazines, online kitten and cat products sources Amy Shojai is a certified animal behavior consultant, a founder of the international Cat Writers' Association, and appears as an expert on Animal Planet's CATS 101 and DOGS 101. She is the author of 30+ award winning pet care books, and also writes the critically acclaimed SEPTEMBER DAY pet-centric thrillers.

    Sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, this is the story of a young woman's accidental career as a cocktail lounge piano player, and the adventures and encounters that follow.