M. Mayo, Elizabeth Singer Hunt, Moira Egan, Gary Soto, Lucille Clifton, Avi, Betsy Franco, Carol Edgarian, Karen Cushman, Patricia Polacco, Prartho Sereno, Lewis Buzbee, and C. B. Follett. This is your journal for inward-bound adventures—use it to write, brainstorm, explore, imagine—and even rip!

    Ott --Ideas / Patricio Pron --Vanish / Evan Ratliff --Seven months, ten days in captivity / David Rohde --Tent City, U.S.A. / George Saunders --The nice little people / Kurt Vonnegut --Freedom / Amy Waldman

    Who wouldn't have second thoughts about ordering the "hamburger" on the diner's menu? Would it be best to skip the "blowout" sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked "free"? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed "facts." This smarty-pants guide is "perfect" for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.

    Eponymous, adj. Giving one's name to a person, place, or thing.Anonymous, adj. Anonymous.Anonyponymous, adj. Anonymous and eponymous.The Earl of Sandwich, fond of salted beef and paired slices of toast, found a novel way to eat them all together. Etienne de Silhouette, a former French finance minister, was so notoriously cheap that his name became a byword for chintzy practices—such as substituting a darkened outline for a proper painted portrait. Both bequeathed their names to the language, but neither man is remembered.In this clever and funny book, John Bemelmans Marciano illuminates the lives of these anonyponymous persons. A kind of encyclopedia of linguistic biographies, the book is arranged alphabetically, giving the stories of everyone from Abu "algorithm" Al-Khwarizmi to Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Along with them you'll find the likes of Harry Shrapnel, Joseph-Ignace Guillotine, and many other people whose vernacular legacies have long outlived their memory.Accented by amusing line portraits and short etymological essays on subjects like "superhero eponyms," Anonyponymous is both a compendium of trivia and a window into the fascinating world of etymology. Carefully curated and unfailingly witty, this book is both a fantastic gift for language lovers and a true pleasure to read.

    You'll learn... • The 3 sure-fire ways to generate material • The 11 different kinds of jokes and how to tell them • The secret to permanently overcoming writer's block • And many more tips, tricks, and techniques Table of Contents 1 Introduction Use the techniques in this book to reliably create top-notch humor writing (page 9) 2 Your Brain’s Comedy Engine Access both hemispheres of your brain to eliminate writer’s block and tap an endless reserve of comedy ideas (page 19) 3 The Humor Writer’s Biggest Problem Overcome this one devastating obstacle to reach the widest possible audience (page 27) 4 How To Get Laughs Understand the different kinds of laughs, and how to generate the best one (page 37) 6 Subtext: The Secret Ingredient Infuse your humor with this vital component to create writing that makes people laugh (page 51) 6 The 11 Funny Filters Create any joke using the 11 fundamental building blocks of humor (page 61) Funny Filter 1: Irony (page 62) Funny Filter 2: Character (page 64) Funny Filter 3: Shock (page 70) Funny Filter 4: Hyperbole (page 74) Funny Filter 5: Wordplay (page 77) Funny Filter 6: Reference (page 81) Funny Filter 7: Madcap (page 85) Funny Filter 8: Parody (page 90) Funny Filter 9: Analogy 9(page 4) Funny Filter 10: Misplaced Focus (page 96) Funny Filter 11: Metahumor (page 99) 7 Using The Funny Filters Layer the building blocks to create increasingly hilarious jokes (page 105) 8 Process Overview Master this simple system to become a prolific humor writer (page 127) Click "Look inside" to see more!

    Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- management.Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace.Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!

    Adorable, absurd, and irresistible reading for the sophisticated cat. Illustrated.

    Quine's areas of interest are panoramic, as this lively book amply demonstrates.Moving from A (alphabet) to Z (zero), Quiddities roams through more than eighty topics, each providing a full measure of piquant thought, wordplay, and wisdom, couched in easy and elegant prose--"Quine at his unbuttoned best," in Donald Davidson's words. Philosophy, language, and mathematics are the subjects most fully represented; tides of entries include belief, communication, free will, idiotisms, longitude and latitude, marks, prizes, Latin pronunciation, tolerance, trinity. Even the more technical entries are larded with homely lore, anecdote, and whimsical humor.Quiddities will be a treat for admirers of Quine and for others who like to think, who care about language, and who enjoy the free play of intellect on topics large and small. For this select audience, it is an ideal book for browsing.

    Inspired by Ryoko Iwata's popular website, I Love Coffee (en.ilovecoffee.jp), Coffee Gives Me Superpowers is overflowing with infographics and fun, interesting facts about the most awesome beverage on earth written by Ryoko, a Japanese coffee-lover living in Seattle.The book includes the most popular pieces on the site, such as: Your Brain on Beer vs. Coffee, 10 Coffee Myths, The 15 Most Caffeinated Cities in the U.S., The Best Time of Day to Drink Coffee (According to Science), 10 Things You Probably Didn't Know about Caffeine, plus 25 percent new, original material that is available only in this book.

    English Usage

     Did you know that people in Bolivia have a word that means "I was rather too drunk last night and it's all their fault"? That there's no Italian equivalent for the word "blue"? That the Dutch word for skimming stones is "plimpplamppletteren"? This delightful book, which draws on the collective wisdom of more than 254 languages, includes not only those words for which there is no direct counterpart in English ("pana po'o" in Hawaiian means to scratch your head in order to remember something important), but also a frank discussion of exactly how many Eskimo words there are for snow and the longest known palindrome in any language ("saippuakivikauppias"--Finland). And all right, what in fact is "tingo"? In the Pascuense language of Easter Island, it's to take all the objects one desires from the house of a friend, one at a time, by asking to borrow them. Well, of course it is. Enhanced by its ingenious and irresistible little Schott's Miscellany/Eats Shoots and Leaves package and piquant black-and-white illustrations throughout, The Meaning of Tingo is a heady feast for word lovers of all persuasions. Viva Tingo!

    Readers will learn essential skills like how to haggle, exchange currencies, cross the street, decipher menus, say useful phrases in Chinese, and more. The guide comes complete with survival tips on etiquette, a map, and resource lists. Don’t leave home for China without it!Veteran travelers Qin and Larry Herzberg are Chinese language and culture professors at Calvin College in Michigan.

    This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    Schottenfreude is a unique, must-have dictionary, complete with newly coined words that explore the idiosyncrasies of life as only the German language can. In what other language but German could you construct le mot juste for a secret love of bad foods, the inability to remember jokes, Sunday-afternoon depression, the urge to yawn, the glee of gossip, reassuring your hairdresser, delight at the changing of the seasons, the urge to hoard, or the ineffable pleasure of a cold pillow? A beguiling, ideal gift book for the Gelehrte or anyone on your list—just beware of rapidly expanding (and potentially incomprehensible) vocabularies.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.