Lapsing Into a Comma: A Curmudgeon’s Guide to the Many Things That Can Go Wrong in Print—and How to Avoid Them


Bill Walsh - 2000
    However, this not-so-easy-to-use reference of journalistic style is often not up-to-date and leaves reporters and copyeditors unsatisfied. Bill Walsh, copy chief for the Washington Post's business desk, addresses these shortcomings in Lapsing into a Comma. In an opinionated, humorous, and yes, curmudgeonly way, he shows how to apply the basic rules to unique, modern grammar issues. Walsh explains how to deal with perplexing situations such as trendy words, foreign terms, and web speak.

Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences


Kitty Burns Florey - 2006
    "Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences is a 2006 book by author Kitty Burns Florey about the history and art of sentence diagramming. Florey learned to diagram sentences as a Catholic school student at St. John the Baptist Academy in Syracuse, New York. Diagramming sentences is useful, Florey says, because it teaches us to "focus on the structures and patterns of language, and this can help us appreciate it as more than just a vehicle for expressing minimal ideas". Florey said in a 2012 essay "Taming Sentences":When we unscrew a sentence, figure out what makes it tick and reassemble it, we interact with our old familiar language differently, more deeply, responding to the way its individual components fit together. Once we understand how sentences work (what's going on? what action is taking place? who is doing it and to whom is it being done?), it's harder to write an incorrect one.Sentence diagramming was introduced by Brainerd Kellogg and Alonzo Reid, professors at the Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute, in their book History of English published in 1877."Keywords: KITTY BURNS FLOREY SISTER BERNADETTE DOG BARKING DIAGRAMMING SENTENCES ENGLISH GRAMMAR REFERENCE LANGUAGE

The 100 Most Pointless Arguments in the World


Alexander Armstrong - 2013
    We've been round in circles trying to work out what came first, the chicken or the egg? Don't get us started on the debate of what we are all here for? And you're bound to have had sleepless nights pondering which ingredient you simply can't do without in a full English Breakfast - sausage or bacon. Well worry no more, here to help you solve some of life's biggest - and most pointless - conundrums, Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman attempt to answer the trickiest of teasers that we all face.So, does God exist? and what is the most pointless sport - ballet or darts? With a witty and intelligent collection of stand-up pieces, quizzes, cryptic brainteasers and pointless facts and questions, Alexander Armstrong and his pointless friend Richard Osman will put the world to rights and finally answer the 100 Most Pointless Arguments in the World....Ever.

The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike


Eric Grzymkowski - 2011
    Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool.So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

mental floss presents Condensed Knowledge: A Deliciously Irreverent Guide to Feeling Smart Again


Will Pearson - 2004
    Condensed Knowledge is a mouthwatering mix of intriguing facts, lucid explanations, and mind-blowing theories that will satisfy even the hungriest mind!Ingredients include:5 tiny nations that get no respect • 4 civilizations nobody remembers • 5 classics written under the influence • 4 things your boss has in common with slime mold • 3 schools of thought that will impress the opposite sex • 4 things Einstein got wrong • 5 classical tunes you know from the movies • 3 famous studies that would be illegal today • 2 religious mysteries solved by chemistry • 5 scandals that rocked art, and much more ...

I've Still Got It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Awkwardly True Tales from the Far Side of Forty


Jenna McCarthy - 2014
     Jenna McCarthy might be forty-something, but she doesn’t feel forty-something. She certainly doesn’t look forty-something. (Actually she does, but she’s in denial so maybe don’t mention it?) And between complaining about how tired she is, trying to remember what she came in here for and wondering whether she drinks too much, she does not have time for a crisis. She has, however, had time to crack the mysterious midlife code. She’s figured out how to tame her muffin top, keep the spark in her marriage and probably not die a fiery hoarder’s death. She’s learned the trick to looking ten years younger and the secret to feeling ten times happier (and it only cost $14.99 plus shipping and handling). And she’s discovered the one thing she will need to do for the rest of ever if she’s going to continue to refuse to “dress her age.” Tackling everything from cosmetic surgery and financial panic to skinny jeans and the meaning of life, I’ve Still Got It... is a middle age manifesto filled with hilarious misadventures, humiliating confessions and occasional (hot) flashes of genius.

Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English?


Edwin Newman - 1974
    One man's funny war against loose talk!

Strange Crime


Portable Press - 2018
    Dumb crooks, celebrities gone bad, unsolved mysteries, odd laws, and more—Strange Crime has plenty of stories that will make you ask yourself, “What could they possibly have been thinking?” This easily portable paperback book is ideal for readers on the go. Take it to school, to work, to jury duty!

Erma Bombeck: A Life in Humor


Susan Edwards - 1997
    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

I Used To Miss Him...But My Aim Is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide


Alison James - 2004
    But today's woman needs more than a book of soppy affirmations to get her back on her feet and feeling great. I Used to Miss Him... is full of smart tips, sarcastic stories and hilarious ways to heal after a breakup. This book provides the sort of genuine advice you'd get from your best friend, but with a "rip his head off" attitude. By supporting a girl's right to be angry with her ex, this fun guide helps her rebuild her strength and confidence after he's gone.Features edgy advice on how to:Cash in on his lifelong guiltLook sexy and feel fabulous (then run into him at a party)Make an ex-boyfriend voodoo dollLose the guy, keep the jewelryAdvertise being singleStalk responsibly to keep him on his toesMaximize post-breakup pamperingI Used to Miss Him... is the ultimate breakup survival guide for today's woman!

The Timewaster Letters


Robin Cooper - 2004
    So funny it will make you sick-Time OutFor several years, Robin Cooper has been plaguing department stores, hotels, associations, fan clubs and a certain children's book publisher with his letters.From Prince Charles to the Peanut Council, Harrods to the British Halibut Association - no one is safe.So who is Robin Cooper?Architect, thimble designer, trampoline tester and wasp expert, Robin Cooper is all of these things - it just depends on the person he's writing to...

Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing


Elmore Leonard - 2006
    From adjectives and exclamation points to dialect and hoopetedoodle, Elmore Leonard explains what to avoid, what to aspire to, and what to do when it sounds like "writing" (rewrite).Beautifully designed, filled with free-flowing, elegant illustrations and specially priced, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing is the perfect writer's—and reader's—gift.

Things You Need To Be Told


The Etiquette Grrls - 2001
    The Etiquette Grrls have decided that things are simply getting out of hand, and they have Taken It Upon Themselves to step in with a helpful guide to navigate the Etiquette Quandaries in your day-to-day life. They dish up advice on cohabitation, letter-writing, telephoning, traveling, grooming, drinking, dining, dating, and marriage and, it would be Terribly Rude of you not to pay attention.Who are they, you ask, to be writing such a book? The Etiquette Grrls are graduates of New England Preparatory Schools and Prestigious Colleges; they are throwers of Great Parties; they can hold their liquor; their expertise on fashion and make-up and—especially Subversive Nail Polish colors-knows no bounds; they wear Doc Martens with their cashmere twin sets; and, most important, they know what they're talking about.The Etiquette Grrls' advice has been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Chicago Sun-Times, and Business Week Online.

America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't


Stephen Colbert - 2012
    You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book—it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.

Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me


Carrie Ann DiRisio - 2017
    Join Broody McHottiepants as he attempts to pen Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me, a "self-help" guide (with activities--you always need activities) that lovingly pokes fun at the YA tropes that we roll our eyes at, but secretly love. As his nefarious ex, Blondie DeMeani, attempts to thwart him at every turn, Broody overcomes to detail, among other topics, how to choose your genre, how to keep your love interest engaged (while maintaining lead character status), his secret formula for guaranteed love triangle success, and how to make sure you secure that sequel, all while keeping his hair perfectly coiffed and never breaking a sweat.