In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

    What can be a better way than "hearing" about it from your baby himself? Being pregnant is both an incredible privilege and significant event in the lives of women that are fortunate enough to carry a child. While it's a time filled with wonder and hope, it's also marked by dramatic physical and emotional changes and major decisions. For each of those 42 weeks, you'll get an insider's perspective - that is, your baby's view - on how he or she is developing inside the womb and what changes you might be seeing or feeling. This book is also available in a journal format!

    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

    Bullies and misers, dreamers and the narrow-minded, all got a taste of his wit, much to the delight of readers.

    In "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl," Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl" will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger.

    You know you’re a crazy plant lady when watering is a hobby, you can’t resist a cute pot, and just looking at succulents and monsteras makes you smile. This charming celebration of the plant lady lifestyle proves that plant love is the joy that keeps growing. There are sweet puns: Aloe you vera much. Plant lady dreams: thrifting the perfect vintage mister. Relatable mantras: Every day is a good day to go plant shopping. All featuring vibrant art by Isabel Serna throughout—plus, a bonus sheet of plant-themed stickers!

    Full of wise advice and simple skills to prepare you mentally and physically, Nicole tells you everything you need to know to ensure you have a very positive experience giving birth, whether you labour naturally or require medical intervention.- Be calm, relaxed and prepared for childbirth- Feel less pain during labour and help your birth progress naturally- Remain confident and in control throughout the birth- Feel very positive about your birth, with or without medical intervention- Flourish with your baby in the first weeks after birth Warm, wise and incredibly reassuring, The Good Birth Companion will give you all the information and resources you need to give birth safely to your baby.

    Osho responds to a question about the right way to help children to grow without interfering in their natural potentiality.

     This book will start you on your journey to stop enabling. If you just can’t maintain boundaries with your adult child/children, and you find yourself constantly taken advantage of, then this book is for you. Discover the wealth of shared experience that can exist in a parent/adult child relationship that is not dominated by unrealistic expectations, manipulations and resentment. The goal is to empower you, as you understand the enabling cycle and then learn some very practical tools to help you stop. The enabling cycle can be challenged, and change will happen. Getting your power back in your life, and feeling the freedom of being in control of your decisions is an amazingly freeing process. It does however take work, and that is where this very practical book can get you started. You may find that your needs are constantly disregarded, while your adult child expects you to continually be there to pick up the pieces and rescue them again and again. It is time to learn HOW TO put firm boundaries in place in a calm and dignified manner. This book will help you see what lies are keeping you in your current stressful and unfulfilled situation. You will learn how to start the journey towards sharing a mutually fulfilling mature relationship with your adult child. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn Understanding the Enabler or Rescuer How the Enabling Cycle Continues and Grows Boundaries Are Your Friend! Dignified Assertiveness The Importance of Individuation It’s Not Cruel To Say ‘No’! Changing Your Thinking (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) Practical Steps For Putting Your New Thinking and Boundaries Into Action Take action right away to start your empowering journey today by downloading this book, "How To Stop Enabling Your Adult Children", for a limited time discount of only $0.99! Tags: enabling adult children, rescuing, relationships, parenting, boundaries, enabling, individuation, cognitive behavioural therapy, CBT, self-talk, healthy boundaries

    Author Bob Fenster has captured all their hilarious, behind-the-scenes antics in They Did What!? Consider, for example:o The Beach Boys originally wanted to call their group the Pendletons, so they could get free shirts from the Oregon clothing manufacturer.o At her wedding, movie star Lana Turner had "I love you" spelled out in pimentos in the sides of baked hams.o Before they hit it big in the movies, Angelina Jolie studied to be a funeral director and Sean Connery polished coffins.Filled with hundreds of fascinating escapades and interesting idiosyncrasies, They Did What!? also looks at issues associated with fame, such as "Why do famous people marry other famous people?" and includes tongue-in-cheek lessons we can learn from celebrities, like "How to become famous and still get into heaven."

    Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    And remember: "Don’t give advice."Ron Padgett's How Long was a Pulitzer Prize finalist in poetry and his Collected Poems won the William Carlos Williams Award from the Poetry Society of America and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for the best poetry book of 2013. His work has been translated into eighteen languages.Jason Novak is a cartoonist whose work has appeared in the New Yorker the Paris Review and the Believer among other places. He lives in Oakland, California.