From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE, a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention—stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places.  TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously-published essays plus one brand-new, never-been-published essay by Augusten Burroughs:--MINT THRESHOLD--UNCLEAR SAILING--COMMERICAL BREAK--DEBBIE’S REQUIREMENTS--SWAN SONG (new!)

    MacLeod’s young protagonist enters all the bright open avenues of peer-group play and the dark blind alleys of individual and collective terror, as she discovers within herself both the capacity for and the conflict between impulses of good and evil. In thinking back on the history of her own tight-knit group of friends, she begins to see how in the excitement of belonging to a ritualized, secret collective, the self is created by the increasing dehumanization of the other—of both the bully and the victim. The Shape of a Girl goes far beyond a simple dramatization of the seemingly inexplicable code of silence and tacit complicity which surrounded the sensationalized Reena Virk murder in 1997 on which the play is based. It speaks eloquently and compassionately to a world increasingly dominated by all forms of collectivised and ritualized tribalist hatred, and offers the embrace of trust as the only way out of this circle of violence.Jewel is also based on a real-life catastrophe—the sinking of the Ocean Ranger, an oil rig off the coast of Newfoundland, on Valentine’s Day, 1982. Three years later, a widow, Marjorie Clifford, at home in her trailer in Fort St. John, British Columbia, begins to take the first step in understanding that the humanity of love, in all of its tentative frailty, uncertainty and promise, can free a life paralyzed and dominated by loss.

    It is an invitation to my thoughts

    Containing a collection of poems by the author that, not only investigates the lighter side of love, but also dares to delve deeper, taking the reader on a journey into the darker aspects of love, such as indecision, rejection, fear, betrayal, loss and finally death. Inspired by his own love story, and subsequent bereavement, the author writes emotionally, and from the heart, often resulting in poems that bring a tear to the eye. For information on more chapbooks in Dark Love Poetry series, please visit the authors website located at www.darrenheart.com

    Unenthused about attending a rich kid's party, Yuna sets out nonetheless. On her way, she walks straight into a face full of drama: a town with not one, but two warring feudal lords! Can the Bloody Bear calm these troubled waters? Or must she pick a side to support?

    Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!

     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

    Entwhistle may look like your sweet, old granny...but things happen to her: she's caught up in the witness protection program, stuck in an elevator with an assortment of strangers, her house is burglarized and her dog is kidnapped. But Mrs. Entwhistle is dauntless; she didn't get to be a fesity seventy-eight by wimping out. Come join her on her porch swing, meet her best friend, Maxine, and her dog, Roger. Maxine will probably offer you a bowl of her homemade soup. Sit a while. Come back when you can.

    The manuscript is comprised of the lyrics to Denis Leary's popular Christmas song of the same title (plus three new verses written for this book), and includes 25 newly commissioned illustrations in the style of classic stop-motion TV Christmas specials.

    Fatigued from overwork and dismayed by relentless cost cutting, Captain Reilly finds himself developing an unhelpful aversion to the very people who pay his salary: passengers and managers.Riding aboard a typical flight, we follow John Reilly as he struggles with the challenges facing today’s airline pilot: trying to stay awake, keeping crew food down, fending off flirtatious cabin crew and completing the crossword before landing.The Life of Captain Reilly is a shocking but hilarious tale of the low cost airline, and reveals its great secret: glamour doesn’t fly anymore.PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU HAVE A ROMANTICIZED PERCEPTION OF AIRLINE PILOTS AND COMMERCIAL AVIATION -- AND YOU WISH TO KEEP IT -- DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!ALSO, THIS IS QUITE A SHORT BOOK.

    Thus he created a boy with a long hair covering his eyes and named him BILLOO. This lanky was liked by the readers so much that the editor of the magazine asked the cartoonist to increase the episodes from one page to two. Billoo is seen roaming the streets with his pet pup - Moti. When he is at home, he is stuck to the TV.Billoo and his gang which includes Gabdu, Jozi, Mono, Bishamber etc; are at loggerheads with Bajarangi, the wrestler and his aide Dhakkan. They are always in search of some excuse to showdown each other. Jozi is friendly to Billoo, but her dad Colonel Three - not - Three doesnot like the boy and always points his gun at him. Billoo and his friends are often seen playing cricket in lanes of the block, and their score is few smashed windows.

     That is when it comes to the elusive Kitty. Once again, Kitty has managed to slip out of Camilla’s grasp. This time leaving two people, that Troy and Camilla love, fighting for their lives. Still not convinced that she has gotten her revenge for Supreme and with her partner in crime, Keyonna dead, Kitty manipulates herself a new partner who also has a score to settle with Troy and Camilla. What’s a Bonnie without her Clyde? While maintaining her home, running her daycare and finishing school, Camilla is out for blood on her one woman warpath. Convinced that the hospital has become her second home, she’s determined to protect all those she care about and take down all who has chosen to become an enemy. With her new sadistic ways of torture Camilla is proving why she’s not the one to mess with. Sometimes less is more even when it comes to family. With his family growing by the minute Troy mistakenly lets his guard down and is now forced to deal with the consequences. Troy has tried to leave the killing in the past but with his family always being a target shit might just have to get ugly one last time. Not feeling his wife acting like a lone ranger, Troy has made it his business to never be too far away. The love this duo have for each other and their family has been tested many times and has proved to be Bulletproof.

    She didn't want to marry the man rejected by her sister and she didn't want to go to the USA when her heart was set on going to London. But still, she gave in and did all of them. So she wanted to take one decision that was entirely hers. She wanted to divorce Kabir and go back to her village, Toosa. She does go back to Toosa, but her heart remains in Seattle, with Kabir.Kabir was engaged to one sister and now married to the other one. There is nothing he doesn't know about Ruchika. She is his best friend from first grade. He knows how utterly selfish, bird-brained, and irresponsible she is. He can’t trust her to make an omelet without burning the house down, let alone live with him in Seattle, without her family. But more than anything else, he refuses to be the second-best man in her life. So, if it was a divorce she wanted, he would damn well give her one.But could she please leave his heart behind?You do remember Nikki's sister Ruchika, don't you, from The Confused Bridegroom? Well, you guys said that she deserved a love story. You asked, and my imagination got its wings.

    Gazingnowhere in particular, the slenderThunderer surrounded by thunder,Fire zigzag in his grasp, labeled "SpiritOf Communication"---unhistorical,Pure, the merciless messenger.--from "A Phonebook Cover Hermes of the Nineteen-forties"Innovative, engaging poems from a leading American poet.Stone wheel that sharpens the blade that mows the grain,Wheel of the sunflower turning, wheel that turnsThe spiral press that squeezes the oil expressedFrom shale or olives. Particles that turn mudOn the potter's wheel that spins to form the vesselThat holds the oil that drips to cool the blade.--from "Biography"Jersey Rain takes up a central American subject: the emotional power of inventions, devices, and homemade imaginings -- from the alphabet and the lyre through the steel drum and piano to the record player, digital computer, and television. Formally innovative and highly readable poems like "ABC," "Ode to Meaning," "To Television," and "The Green Piano" meditate a life guided by the quick, artful tinkerer-god Hermes: deity of music and deception, escort of the dead, inventor of instruments, brilliant messenger, and trickster of heaven.Tiptoe on the globe. Gazingnowhere in particular, the slenderThunderer surrounded by thunder,Fire zigzag in his grasp, labeled "SpiritOf Communication"---unhistorical,Pure, the merciless messenger.--from "A Phonebook Cover Hermes of the Nineteen-forties"Jersey Rain -- at once complex and aboveboard -- marks a new, strong, lyrical stage of Robert Pinsky's work. Assembled here are poems -- some of the finest of his career -- that together compose a sweeping and embattled meditation on the themes of a life guided by Hermes: deity of music and deception, escort of the dead, inventor of instruments, brilliant messenger and trickster of heaven.

    The poem explores the actual world of history transformed into the mythical world of poetry, where what we remember about the past may be more real than history tells us.