Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships


Sue Johnson - 2013
    Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships.Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love.

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships


John M. Gottman - 2001
    . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of VirginiaFrom the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids

Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples' Study Guide


Harville Hendrix - 2003
    The book introduced thousands to their Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents, and developed into an overnight sensation. For their part, Doctors Hendrix and Hunt managed to aid scores of couples in their plight for more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. Now, more than a decade later, this companion book picks up where its predecessor left off, delving further into relationship therapy to help transform relationships into lasting sources of love and companionship. The Getting the Love You Want Workbook is designed for the hundreds of thousands of couples who have attended Imago workshops since Getting the Love You Want hit bookstands, as well as new and curious ones seeking a practical route back to intimacy and passionate friendship. The workbook contains a unique twelve-week course (The New Couples’ Study Guide) designed to help work through the exercises published in Part III of Getting the Love You Want. For those of us struggling to maintain our most precious relationships, the Getting the Love You Want Workbook helps us grow aware of our individual, unconscious agenda while steering us towards a more harmonious link with our loved ones that will satisfy our deepest needs.

Married And Still Loving It: The Joys and Challenges of the Second Half


Gary Chapman - 2016
    You’ve learned to cherish the small things. You’re past keeping up with the Joneses.And yet, anxieties over grown children, worries about money and health, and feelings of disappointment can challenge even the best marriages.In Married and Still Loving It, renowned relationship expert Gary Chapman and Harold Myra, longtime CEO of Christianity Today International, offer wise counsel and practical insight on making your marriage thrive during the later years. Real couples share honestly about their joys and struggles, including Jerry and Dianna Jenkins and Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada, who talk movingly about their marital journeys.Married and Still Loving It feels like a gathering of kindred spirits. It will inspire and equip you to embrace the adventures yet ahead, hand in hand with the one you love.

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love


Stan Tatkin - 2018
    Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? "All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships," writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. "You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times." In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include:Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation• It’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur• Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more• Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections• Dozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security• Handling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomes• Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts


Harriet Lerner - 2017
    Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

Love and Respect for a Lifetime: Gift Book: Women Absolutely Need Love. Men Absolutely Need Respect. Its as Simple and as Complicated as That...


Emerson Eggerichs - 2010
    Emerson Eggerichs leads couples through the intricacies of a marriage built on Love and Respect. He explores the differences in men and women and how a husband�s need for respect can be balanced by a wife�s need for love. When these needs are mutually recognized and made a priority, a fulfilling and meaningful marriage will be the inevitable result.Love and Respect for a Lifetime makes the ideal gift:It�s all color, photo-filled design makes it inviting for couples to look at together. It is a compilation of Dr. Eggerichs best Love & Respect tips: a quick and easy read that proves enticing to a spouse that might be apprehensive of working through an entire study or book. It�s engaging message validates the core needs of each spouse and gives a message of hope, encouragement and practical time-tested solutions for every marriage rather than focusing on placing blame or judging. It�s ideal as a gift for dating or engaged couples, as well as a wedding or anniversary gift. It�s elegant design invites the recipients to open, read it together and leave out as a display for others to take a closer look at what it means to love her and to respect him.

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships


Henry Cloud - 1999
    Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, teach us that healthy boundaries are the property lines that define and protect you and your spouse as individuals. Once you have them in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.Boundaries in Marriage will give you the tools and encouragement you need to:Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of your spouseUnderstand and practice two key ingredients to a successful marriage: freedom and responsibilityEstablish values that form a godly structure and architecture for your marriageProtect your marriage from different kinds of "intruders"Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries--or with one who doesn'tIt's time to deepen your love by providing a better environment for it to flourish, and Drs. Cloud and Townsend are here to help. Discover how boundaries can make life better today!

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond


Patricia Evans - 1992
    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work


Terrence Real - 2007
    Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don't know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up. Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you'll discover how to - identify and articulate your wants and needs - listen well and respond generously - set limits, and stand up for yourself - embrace and appreciate what you have - know when to seek outside help The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion. We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.

The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation


Alan E. Fruzzetti - 2006
    But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
    (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was dealing with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who’d like help deciding if they should stick with it. The reason why there is so much interest is the large number of people in relationships with Avoidants who struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. And it’s also true that the Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well—retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope—though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: • Seem not to care how you feel? • Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? • Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? • Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? • Act coldly toward your children and the needy? • Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? • Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Insecure partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity


Esther Perel - 2017
    And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

How to Make Love All the Time: Make Love Last a Lifetime


Barbara De Angelis - 1987
    and forever. Who taught you how to love and  have a fulfilling, lasting relationship? The  answer is probably "no one." Well, finally,  here is the missing information you need to create  the love of life you deserve! Renowned  relationship and self-improvement expert Barbara DeAngelis  teaches you the secret ingredients for building a  successful and exciting relationship -- and making  love last a lifetime.

Sin and Grace in Christian Counseling: An Integrative Paradigm


Mark R. McMinn - 2008
    Grace. Christian Counseling. How do these fit together? In Christian theology sin and grace are intrinsically interconnected. Teacher and counselor Mark McMinn believes that Christian counseling, then, must also take account of both human sin and God's grace. For both sin and grace are distorted whenever one is emphasized without the other. McMinn, noting his own tendencies and the temptation to stereotype different Christian approaches to counseling along this theological divide, aims to help all those preparing for or currently serving in the helping professions. Expounding the proper relationship of sin and grace, McMinn shows how the full truth of the Christian gospel works itself out in the functional, structural and relational domains of an integrative model of psychotherapy.