Uncle Burst's belief that his face is made of pasta is one of the milder notions with which he regales the family. Uncle Snapper is confined to a treehouse because of the uncontrollable urges he feels once his gun is loaded. Uncle Blute drowned in the lake at the wheel of his Morris Traveller, where he remains perfectly preserved. And Nanny Jack refuses all efforts to bury her and strikes terror into her relatives' hearts as she abandons yet another final resting place. Throughout this happy breed strolls a nameless anti-hero, who, when not kidnapped by clowns or puzzling out the fossilised family tree, is passionately in love with his spaced-out sister, Adrienne ...

    It's even more savage inside the twisted minds of murderers who conceal their malevolence behind smiling masks and strike out without pity. This spine-tingling collection contains 23 new stories of suspense from some of the bestselling authors in the genre. Authors include Clive Barker, Lawrence Block, David Morrell, Ray Bradbury, and many more.CONTENTSThe dripping / David Morrell --The wringer / F. Paul Wilson --A season of change / Richard T. Chizmar --Good vibrations / Richard Laymon --The Tulsa experience / Lawrence Block --Trolls / Christopher Fahy --Small deaths / Charles de Lint --White lightning / Al Sarrantonio --Hitman / Rick Hautala --Vympyre / William F. Nolan --And eight rabid pigs / David Gerrold.Bringing it along / A.R. Morlan --Redemption / Jack Ketchum --The graveyard ghoul / Edward D. Hoch --The rings of Cocytus / Katherine Ramsland --Late last night / John Maclay --Beasts in buildings, turning 'round / J.N. Williamson --Dark side of the moon / Babara Collins --Honor bound / J.M. Morgan --The instrumentalist / William Relling Jr. --Corpse carnival / Ray Bradbury --The book of blood / Clive Barker.

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    Rather than enjoy some drinks in front of a warm fire with her friends, contracted Slayer Clementine Johanssen has her horse saddled and weapons packed to head out into the hills and hunt down some deadly scallywags—alone. When her friends catch wind of her intentions, they set out to waylay her long enough to change her way of thinking … in spite of her mule-headedness.Reminiscent of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, this catawampus tale will add a heartening dose of fun and camaraderie to your holiday!Note: This is book 3.5 of the Deadwood Undertaker Series*(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

    The result: "The most creative, generous, and democratic of any of the annual volumes" (Rick Moody).Among its numerous awards, the Pushcart Prize has been chosen for the Poets Writers / Barnes Noble "Writers for Writers" Award and the National Book Critics Circle Lifetime Achievement recognition.

    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

    We call our version “Ctrl-Alt-Lit,” which incorporates mash-up techniques in the creation of fresh and unique genre-blending fiction. By using the short story format and a selection of diverse authors, Classics Mutilated not only rescues Monster Lit from its own built-in one-joke obsolescence (where the book’s title tells the entire story), but also re-energizes the field, creating its own genre.? It’s not parody or satire, but way bent fiction done totally straight by some of the brightest talents on the scene, such as Joe R. Lansdale, John Shirley, Nancy Collins, Mike Resnick, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, Thomas Tessier, Marc Laidlaw, John Skipp and Cody Goodfellow, Chris Ryall, and Rio Youers.? Notable characters include Snow White, Huck Finn, Captain Ahab, Sid Vicious, Billy the Kid, Emily Dickinson, Jim Morrison, Edgar Allan Poe, Loki, Albert Einstein, and Eleanor Roosevelt. Some of the featured authors and literary works found in these mash-ups are Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, Legends of Asgard, H.G. Wells, Frankenstein, and more. All transformed in ways the mainstream could never imagine, or get away with.? ? Classics Mutilated is available in both print and digital formats. Every story appears here for the first time; each one written specifically for this collection. “Dread Island,” a masterful new novella by Lansdale, anchors the collection.

    They don't know each other and they don't know how they got there. Their only refuge from the heat and sun is the ghost town shimmering on the horizon.Once inside the ghost town they become pawns in a twisted game. They must figure out the clues, the connection they all have to each other, and the rules of this game if they have any hope of surviving.

    Doctor Ravinder Shah speaking. No case too weird, no problem too bizarre. Strangeness a speciality. How can I help you?” London Social Worker Rav Shah moonlights as a paranormal detective, aided by one of his clients and a Border Collie he rents by the hour. It was supposed to be a bit of fun: a search for truths out there; a quest for a life more interesting than the one that fate, destiny, and personal apathy had granted him. But then a case involving a Yorkshire farmer and a herd of flying pigs leads him into a world darker and more dangerous than he’d ever dreamed. The truth is indeed out there. And it’s got Rav square in its sights.

    It only hits the news in times of mishap but behind the scenes of this hugely popular and vibrant city are hundreds of ex-pats living the dream of a life in the sun.John Kean’s hilarious book, ‘Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda – True Stories from a Sharm el Sheikh Scuba Diving Instructor’ is an inside fly-on-the-wall look at the ups and downs of swapping the rat race for a life in Sharm el Sheikh. It is frank, honest and gripping in sometimes epic proportions, but the humor and magnetic appeal of Sharm el Sheikh and Egypt shines through every time in this beautifully written true story.Over a decade, this mild-mannered, ex-stockbroker has been chased by aggressive sharks, had a 737 airliner drop from the sky into the sea, broken four bones, been arrested three times and finally, blown up by terrorists. On the plus side, Sharm el Sheikh’s outstanding natural appeal, year round sun and amazingly talented and friendly community of Egyptian and ex-pat residents has made it a home from home, free of the stresses of everyday life in Europe.Unlike other fly on the wall or ‘inside’ books, John actually takes you along with him for the ride. His accounts are genuine, highly informative and very funny. Turning tragedy and mishap into humor is the book’s strength and you’ll find a laugh on nearly every page.The story is heavily upstaged by the comical antics of five, highly entertaining characters coming to terms with neutral buoyancy, hangovers and Egyptian taxi drivers. The legendary exploits of the latter are awarded an entire chapter where we’re introduced to, Airbag, Sharm el Sheikh’s worst driver and in contrast, Joseph, who takes up the offer of a job swap, gives John his taxi and becomes a scuba diver for the day!The most dramatic chapter of Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is the vivid, minute-by-minute account of dive staff involvement during the Sharm bombings in July 2005. This rare civilian insight of a grand scale terrorist attack shows the human cost of those caught up and the tremendous resolve of unlikely rescuers in preventing further loss of life.Despite occasional tragedy, Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is a positive book that will thrill and entertain, portray scuba diving as an engaging and enjoyable sport and show readers the brighter side of Sharm el Sheikh and Egyptian life. Anyone can read and enjoy this wonderfully funny story.

    Bartlett, author of Gateways to Abomination, is back with The Witch-Cult in Western Massachusetts. A cross between Roberto Bolaño’s Nazi Literature in the Americas and Gardinel’s Real Estate by Orrin Grey and M.S. Corley, this slender volume consists of 13 bite-sized fictional biographies, each accompanied by a chilling illustration by the masterful Alex Fienemann. Meet Stanley Malanson, who had a curious rapport with felines. Meet Abrecan Geist, who endeavored to take revenge on a capricious God. Meet Minerva LaBrie, who abandoned Wicca in favor of a dark and blasphemous alternative. Meet Jebediah Blackstye, who crossed a line with his beloved familiar, a toad with revolting powers. These are but four of the practitioners of black magic who have made their homes in the cities and towns of Western Massachusetts. Read of sumptuous feasts gone to rot, of a corrupted priest who dared unleash his venomous platitudes over the common airwaves, of a powerful sorcerer born at the intersection of Blood and Stone. Open your hearts to the Witch-Cult in Western Massachusetts.

    One is the main course of dinner, another the porn star contracted to copulate in space for a reality TV show. They become futuristic ant farms, get knocked up by the star high school quarterback and have secret abortions, use parakeets to reverse amputations, make love to garden gnomes, go into air conditioning ducts to confront their mother’s ghost, and do so in settings that range from Hell to the local white-supremacist bowling alley.

    1)Over 110,000 words.Includes Amazing Fiction by:WHC Grand Master Award Winner, Ray GartonNew York Times Best Seller, Jonathan MaberryBram Stoker Award Winner, Kealan Patrick BurkeBram Stoker Award Nominee, Jeff StrandEdgar Award, Bram Stoker Award Nominee, Bev VincentMicro Award Finalist, Robert SwartwoodEmmy Award Nominee, Harry ShannonBritish Fantasy Awards Nominee, Gary McmahonBram Stoker Award Winner, Kim PaffenrothAnd so much more…

     In less than 24 hours Nate Merritt loses his job, his girlfriend, and his estranged Aunt Edna. But after Edna’s will bequeaths him a historic mansion deep in the backwoods of Louisiana, Nate hatches a daring plan: he’ll renovate the house and flip it for a tidy profit. The fact that Nate doesn’t know anything about home improvement doesn’t deter him at all. Too bad Nate doesn’t realize the mansion in question happens to be haunted. And the ghost who lives there might not be so indiscriminate about Nate’s ability. Humorous and irreverent, The House That Jack Built is a story of learning how to move on into the next chapter of life—as well as a tribute to every disastrous renovation ever attempted by a homeowner. And ghosts. Don’t forget the ghosts.

    The stories of Henghis Hapthorn, Old Earth's "foremost freelance discriminator", combine mystery and science fantasy while simultaneously recalling the arch irony of Gene Wolfe and the sly fancies of Jack Vance.