But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    (Orlando Convention and Visitor Bureau) Despite signifcant downturns in the economy Disney theme parks have maintained attendance rates and made gains in attendance at some parks. Walt Disney World Resort theme parks are rated best in the world. earning high marks for things outside of the traditional theme park experience. Epcot's International Food & Wine Festival, which takes place for six weeks every fall and showcases food from twenty-five countries, was rated by Forbes Traveler as one of the Best U.S. Food and Wine Festivals.

    The drawings provide a retrospective of Wolfe's twenty-three years as a graphic artist.

    He wanders the aisles of supermarkets, hardware stores, and secondhand shops, taking obsessively detailed notice of products and services that are either too obscure or weird for us to notice, or so ubiquitous that we've stopped seeing them at all. He reviews them all in his acclaimed 'zine, Beer Frame: The Journal of Inconspicuous Consumption. In Inconspicuous Consumption you'll find the very best of these hilarious reviews - 100 products and services that add up to an irresistible read. From kitschy novelties and wildly unappetizing food products to beautifully functional items, Inconspicuous Consumption is a delightful celebration of the sometimes elegant, sometimes ridiculous, and always unsung fringes of our late-twentieth-century consumer culture.

    R. R. Tolkien worked at creating plausibly realistic languages to be used by the creatures and characters in his novels. Like his other languages, Sindarin was a new invention, not based on any existing or artificial language. By the time of his death, he had established fairly complete descriptions of two languages, the "elvish" tongues Quenya and Sindarin. He was able to compose poetic and prose texts in both, and he also constructed a lengthy sequence of changes for both from an ancestral "proto-language," comparable to the development of historical languages and capable of analysis with the techniques of historical linguistics.In A Gateway to Sindarin, David Salo has created a volume that is a serious look at an entertaining topic. Salo covers the grammar, morphology, and history of the language. Supplemental material includes a vocabulary, Sindarin names, a glossary of terms, and an annotated list of works relevant to Sindarin. What emerges is an homage to Tolkien's scholarly philological efforts.

    In Honey Badger Don't Care(tm), Randall presents a dozen crazy, badass animals of the wild kingdom as only Randall could. Don't be stupid--buy this book!

    Vesuvius, to the death of Socrates, to the Exxon Valdez oil spill--that have shaped the history of the world.

    After the huge success of the first 100 Quotes to think about, here is a follow up with 100 more quotes to change your life.

    Contains the official biograpy of the Crypt Keeper, a history of EC Horror Comics, 105 covers, and other stories, facts, and features relating to Tale from the Crypt.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    Nothing is sacred, not even himself: "I figure I have spent five minutes every morning for the past five years blow-drying my hair. That is six days of my life spent with Flash Gordon's ray gun pointed at my brain, which probably has windburn by now!" Whether he is commenting on politics, women or sports, bemoaning technology or mocking Southerners who try to talk like Northerners, Grizzard, "the Faulkner for just plain folks," has never been funnier.Other Lewis Grizzard titles available on Sound Editions from Random House:My daddy was a pistol and I'm a son of a gun Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself if love were oil, I'd be about a quart low don't bend over in the garden, Granny, you know them taters got eyes.

    Priceless offers hope for the financially challenged, plus advice for not getting into trouble in the first place. Dave uses straight talk, down-to-earth humor, and quotes from his Rolodex so that anyone?student, professional, or grandma?can learn the wisdom of being weird.

    Over the past year, though, one sensation has dominated the Web: LOLcats. Here’s how it works: First you find a picture of a cat online, and then you add a caption that reflects the cat’s point of view. Just remember that although cats can speak English, their spelling and grammar is not so hot. Once you’re done, you have a LOLcat (laugh out loud cat). Since its founding in January 2007, icanhascheezburger .com (named after the most famous LOLcat of all) has been the center of the LOLcat world. I Can Has Cheezburger? collects 200 LOLcats from the enormously popular site, some classic and some new, in glorious and glossy full color. The book also highlights legendary LOLcat forms recognizable to fans everywhere (including “Do Not Want,” “Monorail Cat,” and “Oh Noes!”), and offers a guide to the finer points of LOLspeak. Packed with witty and endearing images and published into a proven cat-egory, I Can Has Cheezburger? is sure to delight feline aficionados and Internet nerds alike.

    On any given Saturday, in dozens of stadiums across America, you will find crowds in excess of 75,000 gathered to root on their teams. This book is their Bible???a rich and comprehensive reference guide to the game??'s history, tradition and lore. Based on three years of research by the nation??'s foremost football experts, the book features: ???? ???? ??Capsule histories for each of the 119 Division 1-A programs, the Ivy League schools and teams from the SWAC, MEAC and historically black colleges ??????????????Year-by-year schedules and records ??????????????Statistical leaders from every school ??????????????Fightsong lyrics ??????????????Box scores for every bowl game ever played ??????????????4-color insert illustrating the evolution of each school??'s helmet design ??????????????Weekly polls dating back to 1936 ??????????????Essays by the game??'s top wordsmiths (Dan Jenkins, Beano Cook, Chris Fowler, Gene Wojciechowski) ??????????????Plus a lively round table discussion with ESPN??'s popular Game Day Team (Fowler, LeeCorso and Kirk Herbstreit) Packed with tables and charts and designed in an easy-to-read style, the updated ESPN College Football Encyclopedia will continue to dazzle even the most knowledgeable fan.

    Have you ever read an advertisement and felt like it was written directly to you? Well, what if it was? And if I told you that there's an underground group telling you and those around you what to buy, what to wear, and what to consume? Join the fun. The only thing holding you back is your own personality.We recommend that you read Gripped with a nice bottled water. "If Kurt Vonnegut and Sarah Silverman had a literary offspring, it might look something like this." Richard Thomas, authoe of Staring Into the Abyss"Donnelly dances on the line of comedic grace and brutal honesty to show how ugly personal growth can be." Michael Paul Gonzalez, author of Angel Falls"This is a hilarious yet poignant tale of how disjointed society has become." Jonny Gibbings, author of Malice in BlunderlandJason Donnelly is a writer in NYC currently seeking world domination. He has an MFA in creative writing and a horrible amount of debt from a University in Pennsylvania that shall not be named. Over the years, he's held the title of juggler, college recruiter, adjunct professor, headhunter and is currently a copywriter at a NYC ad agency. Find out more than you ever wanted to know about him here, www.jasonwdonnelly.com and then like the book page here, www.grippedbook.com You can now purchase from amazon.com here: http://www.amazon.com/Gripped-Your-Pe...