Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…

    A dark ritual turns a woman obsessed with supernatural powers against the people who love her most. A possessed TV proves that old B-Movie monsters can still terrify an unsuspecting audience…Scare Street’s roster of authors brings you eleven new tales of supernatural horror, in one blood-chilling volume. This macabre collection of short stories is guaranteed to get your pulse racing, and send shivers down your spine.Each deliciously dark tale will haunt your dreams, and keep you reading long past the witching hour. But wait…What was that noise? Did something move in the shadows?Just keep telling yourself… it’s only a story.

    In this "terminally irreverent" ( "Richmond News-Leader" ) novel, he finds himself taking on everyone from his editor and his girlfriend to the fundamentalists and vegetarians covered on his beat - and along the way, learns some surprising (and hilarious) lessons about life, love, and the press. • Welter's "I Want to Buy a Vowel," also a Berkley Signature Edition, was named one of "Booklist's" Best Books of 1996. • Great reviews in the Berkley Signature Edition tradition. • The author has been compared to everyone from John Irving to Jonathan Swift, Frank Capra to Carl Hiaasen, John Kennedy Toole to Dave Barry.

    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

    WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    Unfortunately, the Cresswill case was anything but. It started as a suicide, but then it was a murder pretending to be a suicide. Then it appeared that it was a suicide masquerading as a murder pretending to be a suicide. It was all so ridiculous, but the only thing a jury needs to acquit is a reasonable doubt, even when it seems quite unreasonable. Or is it? Or not? Perhaps to find the truth, the police need help that is every bit as unhinged as the case…

    From New York Times bestselling author Kelly Favor, comes a sexy and gripping new series that will leave you breathless… HIS OBSESSION Orlando Parker is one of the richest, most powerful men in the free world.And when he decides he wants something, or someone, he gets it.If he chooses you, be ready to give him everything.Be ready to take everything you can take.Be ready to be… A SLAVE TO HIM.

    In ‘Cora Lee is Stupid’ a young girl takes vengeance on an abusive older sister. In ‘Dead Weight’ three bank robbers get more than they bargained for during their getaway. In ‘Rosetta Stone’ a bitter young man comes face to face with the end of the world.

    With an insomniac mother and a demolitions-expert father, her entire family is what the residents of her small town would call "a bunch of crackpots." Despite the dramas of her upbringing, Ruby matures into a creative, introspective, and wholly beguiling woman. But her adulthood is marked by complex relationships and romantic missteps -- three unsuitable marriages, dramatic crushes, the complicated love between siblings. As Sara Pritchard deftly guides us through Ruby's story, from the present to the past and back again, a portrait of a remarkably resilient woman emerges. Suffused with humor and melancholy, imagination and insight, Crackpots heralds the debut of a skilled and sensitive storyteller.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    

    Chronicles of her strategies for surviving civilization's decline -- herbal remedies, macrobiotics, a bit of Xanax -- have established her as one of the most captivating and eagerly read voices in modern literature. In this new collection of stories, Julie Hecht reclaims the darkly funny, existential territory for which she is known: "People say 'Good morning,' but don't believe them. It's just something to say." The uniquely eccentric narrator reappears in Happy Trails to You and recounts her perplexed engagements with our society and the larger world -- whether she's attempting to withdraw money from a bank machine, worrying about Paul McCartney, or seeking a nonexistent place of calm on Nantucket, where nail guns and chain saws have replaced the sounds of birds singing. Appalled by life in our times, the narrator recounts innumerable artifacts from a now vanished America (civility, idealism, Elvis Presley, well-made appliances). She is also exquisitely attuned to the absurdities of our culture; her acute observations illuminate every subject, from the dangers of microwave ovens to the disappearing ozone layer. With deadpan wit, the author reveals the truths of a new century. Happy Trails to You is a radically distinctive work of American fiction.

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    . .Holly, Naomi and Kate are determined to win the battle of the bulge. So it's down to the local slimming club, where carbs are strictly off the menu and there's no escaping the scales. But calorie-counting isn't the only thing on their minds.Newly engaged Holly should be over the moon. So why does she blush every time her sexy boss walks into the room? Curvaceous Naomi finds herself the object of a very unusual fetish and a shocking secret is revealed when an unexpected visitor arrives on Kate's doorstep. Yet with a little group support (and a particularly brutal weight loss boot camp) the women manage to stick to their regime, in time for the glamorous Slimmer of the Year Awards. But with tempting buffet tables, highly competitive contestants and even the odd fat fetishist lurking, it's anyone's guess as to what will happen . . .

    For each craves a change in her life: Devera desires a break from her humdrum marital routine; BiDi longs to reconnect with her distant fourteen-year-old daughter (the only girl on the high school hockey team), not to mention jump-start a sex drive stuck in neutral. So when Devera’s husband decides to fulfill his longtime dream of opening a nightclub in his basement, Your Oasis on Flame Lake arrives not a moment too soon. Nothing fancy, it’s just a BYOB joint where you can hang out, sing, dance, tell jokes, and be yourself. But then an unexpected crisis throws both families into chaos, forcing them all to take stock of their lives—and learn the power of forgiveness.