He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships


Steven Carter - 1993
    Authors  Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men  and women are torn between the desire for intimacy  and the equally intense need for independence.  Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life  scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind  of wisdom gained by personal experience,  He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance  for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy  with our romantic partners.

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?


Connell Cowan - 1985
    With true-life accounts from women who have successfully turned around foundering relationships, two renowned clinical psychologists show how a woman can dramatically influence the course of love. Here's how you can learn the secrets that evoke loving and positive responses from men and find out exactly what kind of woman a man loves - and stays with - forever. Trusting a man to love your strength Arousing a man's passion and desire Deepening love through friendship Giving up the prince and finding the man And 11 essential rules for staying in love

If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules: 10 Rules for Finding Love and Creating Long-Lasting, Authentic Relationships


Cherie Carter-Scott - 1999
    Now, in If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules, she presents ten simple rules to help us find true love and create long-lasting, authentic relationships.After twenty-five years of conducting workshops and seminars, Chérie has discovered that the most important--and often the most difficult--part of the human experience is partnership. Everyone is either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that they already have. Chérie's ten rules are universal truths that we inherently know but often lose sight of in the confusing game of romance--rules as simple as "You Must Love Yourself First," "Communication Is Essential," and "You Must Nurture the Relationship for It to Thrive." Once understood and embraced, her rules help us learn more about our true selves and our needs--and make us better able to meet the needs of others.As the ten rules show, building and sustaining authentic love is a delicate process that requires negotiation and communication, and while love is often challenged by change, it provides a variety of opportunities for us to grow as individuals. In her inimitably warm and inviting style, Chérie shares her own insights into love's  journey, from building intimacy and taking the risk of commitment to rekindling the faded flame by bringing back the "sizzle factor." Her inspirational stories, coupled with practical exercises--such as creating a criteria list for a potential mate or making an outline for a formal relationship "check-in"--will bring out the authentic lover in each of us. Fresh and inspiring, If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules is a perfect guide to living a real-life "happily ever after".From the Hardcover edition.

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love in Committed Relationships


John Gray - 1994
    Mars and Venus Together Forever educates the different sexes on:What your mother couldn't tell you and your father didn't knowWhat women need most and men really wantHow men and women think and feel differentlyThe language barrier -- men speak "male" and women speak "female"The seven secrets of lasting passionAnd much moreFilled with lively anecdotes, revealing exercises, and profound common sense, Mars and Venus Together Forever will help men and women explore new frontiers in their relationships, communicate effectively with each other, and discover the secret of "happily ever after."

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work


Terrence Real - 2007
    Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don't know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up. Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you'll discover how to - identify and articulate your wants and needs - listen well and respond generously - set limits, and stand up for yourself - embrace and appreciate what you have - know when to seek outside help The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion. We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.

Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage


Susan Page - 2006
    This method shows you the magic of "Keep your mouth out of it!" Page's pioneering eight-step program invites you to give up problem solving and move directly to a warmer, more loving and fun relationship, based on universal spiritual principles. In this book you will learn how to transform your relationship into a Spiritual Partnership by adopting these Eight Loving Actions:Adopt a Spirit of Good Will Give Up Problem Solving Act as If Practice Restraint Balance Giving and Taking Act on Your Own Practice Acceptance Practice Compassion

Manology: Secrets of Your Man's Mind Revealed


Tyrese Gibson - 2012
    But after an unexpected disagreement in which Rev insisted that marriage is forever, and Tyrese pushed that you could bail when the sex went bad, the two decided not just to agree to disagree but to team up and open their debate to a larger audience. Even though they’re at different points in their journeys, both have clear insights on what it takes to make a relationship work and what can sink it instantly.Manology is a guide to regaining your relationship confidence and weeding out the cheaters, MANipulators, and pimps from the good men. Just follow Tyrese and Rev’s advice and finally understand the reasons behind your man’s actions. Some men’s behavior can’t be changed, but it’s better to face the truth. No matter how painful or distressing that truth might be, if you know it, you can confront it and move past it. Tyrese and Rev acknowledge that it can be difficult for men to open up, but they present real strategies for men and women to have honest and open discussions about relationship expectations. With Rev’s hard-earned knowledge on what it takes to make a marriage work, and Tyrese’s sometimes uncomfortable but always straight talk on the single man’s mind-set, Manology is your one true source of knowledge to help you take control of your love life and truly understand your man.

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
    (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was dealing with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who’d like help deciding if they should stick with it. The reason why there is so much interest is the large number of people in relationships with Avoidants who struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. And it’s also true that the Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well—retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope—though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: • Seem not to care how you feel? • Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? • Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? • Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? • Act coldly toward your children and the needy? • Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? • Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Insecure partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart


William J. Doherty - 2001
    In fact, many of us hold deeply ingrained attitudes and assumptions that work against long-term marital happiness. From renowned family therapist Dr. William J. Doherty, this book helps couples pinpoint hidden marital problems and take positive steps to stay close and connected every day. Readers learn to break free of such common traps as confusing desires with needs, applying a trade-in-the-old-model consumer mentality to one's own spouse, or becoming overtime parents instead of full-time partners. They get suggestions for creating relationship rituals that stand the test of time; from mundane to celebratory, sexy to silly. For young couples who want to hold tight to happily-ever-after, or longtime marrieds on the brink of breakup, this book shows how to fight back to restore a marriage worth saving.

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person: & Other Essays


The School of Life - 2017
    But none of us ever quite does. The fault isn’t entirely our own; it has to do with the devilish truth that anyone we’re liable to meet is going to be rather wrong, in some fascinating way or another, because this is simply what all humans happen to be – including, sadly, ourselves. Yet – as these darkly encouraging and witty essays propose – we don’t need perfection to be happy. So long as we enter our relationships in the right spirit, we have every chance of coping well enough with, and even delighting in, the inevitable and distinctive wrongness that lies in ourselves and our beloveds. The New York Times’s most-read article of 2016 – now in expanded book form.

I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship


Andrew G. Marshall - 2006
    . . . Now discover what it really means. If the relationship you have with your significant other is defined more by companionship than passion . . . if you love each other deeply but are not deeply in love . . . if you feel that something's missing or is no longer there . . . then you could be experiencing ILYB (I Love You, But . . .). In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You --a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall--partners and individuals who have “fallen out of love” or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together. Marshall's research is one of the few that delves into what causes relationships to “cool” or for emotions to be “dulled.” So much more than a quick-fix guide, I Love You, but I'm Not In Love with You empowers couples to emerge with a better understanding of themselves and each other, and ultimately build a stronger, more passionate bond. Learn how to: • Argue productively and address the core of the issue • Employ the trigger words for more effective communication • Find a balance between being fulfilled as an individual and being one half of a couple • Discover if the ILYB is simply a symptom of a workable problem • Take your sex life to a deeper level of intimacy • Create new bonds instead of searching for the old ones

You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married): Looking for Love in the Age of Divorce


Dana Adam Shapiro - 2012
    A serial monogamist for more than two decades, Shapiro had just ended his fifth three-year relationship and wanted to know why the honeymoon phase never lasted until the actual honeymoon. Believing that you learn more from failure than from success, he spent the next four years interviewing hundreds of divorced people, living vicariously through the romantic tragedies of others, hoping to become so fluent in the errors of Eros that he would be able to avoid them in his own love life. The result is a timely treasure trove of marital wisdom—a provocative look inside the hearts, minds, beds, and e-mails of regular people who’d thought they found “The One” and lived to tell the tales of what went wrong. Shockingly intimate, universally relevant, and profoundly personal, this is a page-turning, voyeuristic peek into the private lives of our friends and neighbors that is as racy as it is revelatory. But ultimately, You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married) is a hopeful investigation of modern love and a practical guide for any couple looking to beat the roulette-level odds of actually staying together forever.

I GOT YOU: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships


Rob Hill Sr. - 2013
    It’s about you looking at yourself and finding ways to learn how to grow as an individual. I cannot tell you every single step you should take to get you to where you are trying to go in life. But what I can do is make sure you have enough confidence to trust your own judgments, regardless of past mistakes. I want you to understand that it’s okay to be exactly where you are right now, whether you are single or in a relationship. Appreciate where your journey is taking you, but be able to identify areas that need to change. I want you to read this book and have a better understanding of the present. I want you to know that trying to get it right is a constant process. We never arrive at a place of knowing it all. For as long as we are alive, we are challenged to grow, learn, evolve, and mature. Love is a decision, not a destination. It’s not something you stumble upon. You must choose to walk in it, give to it, and become it. Each of us travels a different path to find the love we are searching for. Some find what they are looking for instantly, while others must jump over a few hurdles before realizing they have finally found something special. In essence, we are all just working towards what we believe we deserve— our fair chance at love and happiness.

The Introvert and Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract


Marti Olsen Laney - 2007
    The key to introvert/extrovert bliss lies in understanding what makes the other person tick and using your differences to help balance and enrich the relationship.This book offers advice for making it happen:Learn how innies and outies process information and communicate differently Discover ways to create a fulfilling social life for yourself and your partner Find creative ways to blend decision-making and future-planning styles Get past the dangerous question, why can't you be more like me? Turn up the heat in the introvert/extrovert bedroomThe book is based on current scientific research and innie/outie interviews. It is also based upon the authors' personal experiences as a mixed couple—introvert Marti Olsen Laney and extrovert Michael Laney have been happily married for more than forty-two years. They must be doing something right!

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage


Susan Forward - 2001
    Are your in-laws poisoning your marriage? Bestselling author Susan Forward shows you how to manage their behavior without jepordizing your relationship with your spouse.