After returning from a campaign in the Third Afghan War, Major Thomas Waller and the Royal Newfoundland Regiment are assigned to escort two mysterious ladies into the unknown lands of the new world. With the help of an American drifter named Smith, Waller and his men must face daunting hordes of 'savages' that roam the steppes of the alien planet, and help to uncover the ladies' secrets - and the secrets of the new world itself. A dangerous mission awaits on the Grasslands...

    fantasy parodies

    But Rosemary has a secret, and he’s lying comatose in a hospital only a few miles away. Should she let him live, or let him go? Into the midst of Rosemary’s dilemma comes bohemian artist, Ben. His abstract pictures and fixation with painting God disturb Rosemary, and yet she finds herself unable to keep away. As summer passes and an unlikely friendship develops, it becomes clear that Rosemary is not the only one with something to hide. Nor is she the only one battling the ghosts of the past. Rosemary and Ben must decide whether to trust each other, choosing between the madness of admitting the truth and the insanity of maintaining their lies. With their lives unravelling around them, can they help each other to confront the past, or are there some secrets too terrible to be told?

    With almost all of the crew of the ancient starship Destiny in suspended animation, only Eli Wallace is left awake to repair his own stasis pod before time runs out. While he races against time, a new and unexpected danger threatens the fragile plan designed to keep everyone alive and away from the aliens who had been pursuing them. What strange new menace confronts Eli, Colonel Young, Doctor Rush and the others? You’ll have to pick up this issue to find out!

    Nice Guy who's found companionship and comfort with Marsha.  The only problem is that he's become too comfortable.  Weighing seventy-five pounds more than when the courtship first began, the newly food-obsessed Sonny just can't stay away from Marsha's marvelous dishes, even in the middle of their breakup conversation.Determined to slim down and get his girlfriend back, Sonny joins the FutraSystem weight-loss center and meets potential love interest Kayla, as well as a host of other colorful characters. In a heartwarming tale that is alternately hilarious, wise, and ultimately self-affirming, Whitfield has created a thoroughly delicious and engaging novel sure to be enjoyed by those who have waged the battle of the bulge, or know someone who has.

    Conservatives love his hard-hitting Republican résumé. Liberals love his peaceful, progressive practicality. The media can’t get enough of his larger-than-life personality. And all the American people love that he’s an honest, hard-working man who tells it like it is.There’s just one problem. He is William Howard Taft . . . and he was already president a hundred years ago. So what on earth is he doing alive and well and considering a running mate in 2012? A most extraordinary satire, Jason Heller’s debut novel follows the strange new life of a presidential Rip Van Winkle: a man who never even wanted the White House in the first place, yet finds himself hurtling toward it once more—this time, through the media-fueled madness of 21st-century America.Â

    Tina yearns for this new setting to bring her the zen-like inner peace she's always heard about on infomercials. Instead, she becomes a totally exasperated fish out of water, doing wacky things like stealing the shoes of a shifty delivery man, spraying local women with a bidet hose, and contemplating the murder of her new pet cricket.It takes the friendship of an elderly tai chi instructor, a hot Mandarin tutor, and several mah-jongg-tile-slinging expats to bring Tina closer to a culture she doesn't understand, the dream job she never knew existed, and the self she has always sought. Fish Heads and Duck Skin will resonate with anyone who has ever wondered who they are, why they were put here, and how they ever lived before eating pan-fried pork buns.

    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

    Both sides battle for control of habitable planets across the galaxy—often at any cost.Lieutenant Jander Mortas is fresh out of officer training and new to the war zone, but eager to prove himself. There's just one problem: disaster strikes while he's traveling to his first assignment. He wakes to find himself marooned on what appears to be a deserted planet, with only three other survivors: a psychoanalyst, a conscientious objector, and a bitter veteran of a brutal slave-scout detachment. As the group struggles to reach safety on a nearby base, Glory Main, they discover a Sim colony—which could mean their salvation, or their demise.Thrown together, they must fight the harsh elements, an ever-present enemy, and possibly each other.

     An alien craft the size of a cruise ship blips into space between the earth and the moon. It sends no messages. It responds to no calls. The people of earth panic, of course. The spacecraft settles on the moon and bides its time. It's right there, where anyone with a telescope can see it, but it's too far away for earth's nascent space programs to reach. And then, nothing happens. Frenzy fizzles to boredom. Everyone's attention turns back to their lives. Not that it matters, because the aliens are preparing for what's coming next, conquest. The Freedom's Fire Series Prequel - Freedom's Siege book 1 - Freedom's Fire book 2 - Freedom's Fury book 3 - Freedom's Fate book 4 - Freedom's Fist

    The elusive underwear thief is busy plundering the local washing lines hoping his identity will never be revealed, whilst the Pappas is up to his neck in nefarious schemes. Mail order Russian bride Masha is indulged by that old fool Vasilis in her passion for plastic surgery, and Stavroula plots to extricate herself from her marriage to the supposedly dead Toothless Tasos. Not a day goes by in Astakos without deviousness and humour as part of the scenic backdrop. The humorous antics of life in a fictional Greek village have the feel good factor to make you laugh-out-loud.

    Kurt Cobain. Amy Winehouse. Janis Joplin. They died at 27. Six friends reunite in London. From the outside their lives are enviable; from the new father, to the rich entrepreneur to the carefree traveller. But underneath their facades, they are starting to unravel. Dave is made redundant, Renee's marriage is crumbling and Katie is forced to return home to her parents after six years abroad. In a world fuelled by social media and ravaged by recession, the friends must face up to the choices they must make to lead the lives they truly want to live.“The characters are sharply observed and as I read, I quickly came to feel they were my friends too… All along we feel we are in the hands of an accomplished storyteller, and of course there is a satisfying climax.” "Well written and interesting...this was great and I wanted to read more." - Amazon Breakthrough Novel Expert Reviewer“This is a fantastic read for the summer holidays. A genuinely lovely warm surprising story. I loved the characters and felt part of their journey. Can highly recommend.” “An enjoyable read for a generation who are obsessed with how others perceive them and who measure success in terms of job titles and relationship statuses.”“27 is one of those books that you really want to finish so that you can find out what's happened but on the other hand, you want it to carry on so that you can stay with the characters that little bit longer!” “The characters are realistic, their dramas riveting and the writing profoundly charming as Ruth Heald expertly takes you through a tumultuous year-long journey through the lives of the modern daytwenty-something.

    Her dream job as the lead botanist on Niri was worth traveling across the galaxy, but she’s not going to miss out on the trappings of her favorite holiday. Not to mention she misses everyone back home. Everyone except her ex, of course. She’ll do everything she can to avoid seeing him again but running into him around town is inevitable.Verrik is tired of the monotony of his day-to-day life on Niri. He works long days as an electrician to try to get ahead and save what money he can. One day he hopes to be able to support a family of his own but as an orphan, his opportunities are limited. The one good thing that comes from his current job is meeting the unique, curvy little botanist from Earth.She’s headed back to Earth for the holidays. He’s ready for his own adventure. Her suggestion to be her fake alien boyfriend is unconventional, but the payment is too good to pass up. When the lines between fantasy and reality begin to blur, they find themselves navigating unexplored territory.Can a Niri Alien and Earth female find a way to make a relationship work for real?Alien Boyfriend for Christmas is a standalone sci-fi romance full of steam with no cheating, no cliffhanger and a happily ever after guaranteed!

    Though he'd rather be at home drinking his liver to death, his spiteful editor delivers an ultimatum: take the assignment or lose the steady paycheck. Since Cobb can't afford to turn down the job, he heads to Atlanta and dives head first into the realm of Griffin*Con, renowned the world over as the Mardis Gras of geek conventions. There, he finds all of the science fiction, fantasy, and cosplay he would expect, but he also finds something more sinister: a seedy underbelly of geeky debauchery, slash fiction, booze, sex, and drugs. Can he make it through this assignment without snapping and winding up on the front page himself? Or will the entire experience change him in ways he never imagined possible? It's been called "A masterful blend of fictional Gonzo journalism and geek culture that is sure to please audiences inside and outside the geek community."