I wonder how many cats have died because of this confusion.Fact: The most germ-laden place on your toilet isn't the seat or even the bowl--it's the handle.The solution: Don't flush. Let the next guy worry about it.There are "just the facts"--and then there are just the facts that will frighten the bejeezus out of you. And thanks to this little gem of a bathroom book, you'll never look at the world the same way again, without, er, dry heaving a little bit.From the sneaky fish that can swim up our genitals to the E. coli bacteria lurking in the very water we drink, disturbing phenomena are everywhere we turn. Educational, entertaining, and undeniably horrifying, this book isn't guaranteed to help you, um, go to the bathroom, but it's certain to make your time there more...informed.

    Includes area maps. Original.

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    In Where There's a Will, Stephen M. Silverman shows just how different with a peek at the wills of the richest, most celebrated people of all time, and he provides the intimate scoop on what their heirs had to say about it. Discover what secret pact Clark Gable made in 1942 and took to his grave - only to be exposed when his will was read. Learn why it took more than a year for Liza Minnelli to raise the $37,500 needed to bury the ashes of her mother, Judy Garland, and what treasures were left to the heirs of Babe Ruth, James Dean, John Jacob Astor, Ernest Hemingway, and Ayn Rand once those wills cleared probate. From Marilyn Monroe and Andy Warhol to John Lennon, Jim Morrison, John Steinbeck, Rita Hayworth, and Jack Dempsey, Where There's a Will . . . is an utterly engrossing read sure to captivate tycoons and gossip addicts alike with its fascinating tales of how the other half bequeaths.

    With its innovative visual take on trivia, pop culture, and strange-but-true tales, this volume is an exciting, original and hilarious look at humans and the world theyve created.DK

    Anderson has written 160 books—nearly fifteen million words!—most of them by dictating into a hand-held recorder while hiking. Award-winning novelist and short story writer Martin L. Shoemaker dictates chapters and stories while driving, turning his daily commute into a productive work session. These two die-hard “dictators,” share their techniques and insights into how dictation can help you *Improve your writing productivity *Use otherwise lost time to brainstorm, plot, develop characters, write articles, and more *Get inspired by leaving your confined office and getting a fresh perspective elsewhere *Stay in shape while writing On Being a Dictator, part of the Million Dollar Writing Series, will help you think outside the box, consider a different writing method, and up your game in the fast-paced ever-changing world of publishing.

    Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known.Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE is packed with valuable information-such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

    Augustine said that babies deserve to go to hell. Berkeley asserted that matter doesn’t exist. Bentham would have argued that Dan Brown is better than Shakespeare. All these statements stem from philosophy’s greatest minds. What were they thinking? Overflowing with compelling arguments for the downright strange – many of which are hugely influential today – popular philosopher Gary Hayden shows that just because something is odd, doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t argued for it. Spanning ethics, logic, politics, sex and religion, this unconventional introduction to philosophy will challenge your assumptions, expand your horizons, infuriate, entertain and amuse you. Gary Hayden is a journalist and popular philosopher. He has a master’s degree in philosophy and has written for The Times Educational Supplement. He is the author of This Book Does Not Exist: Adventures in the Paradoxical.

    Will a perennial favorite like Duke win? Or will it be a dark horse like Gonzaga? The phenomenon known as March Madness galvanizes a nation of viewers as few other sports events can. The reason? Bracketology. America eagerly watches as 64 teams become 32, then 16, then 8, then 4, then 2, and finally #1. Now it's time to use the same rigorous method for everything that really matters in culture, people, history, the arts and more. In The Enlightened Bracketologist the editors have organized the world's most haunting and maddeningly subjective questions into a scheme of binary pairings that finally reveal what is truly the best in its class: La Tache or Chateau Latour? (1) Barry Bonds or Terrell Owens? (2) "Vissi d'arte" or "Dove Sono"? (3) OJ verdict or JFK assassination? (4) "Top of the world, Ma" or "Nobody's perfect"? (5) Two by two, The Enlightened Bracketologist pits our cultural mainstays against each other; only the finest survive. Every double-page spread of this book will contain a series of brackets compiled by experts and celebrities, with text call-outs that highlight the reason why one competitor moves on and another doesn't. Already committed are Elvis Costello on popular songs; David Bouley on cookbooks; Leon Fleisher on piano music; Reneé Fleming on opera arias; Henry Beard on French phrases; Joseph Ward on wine.

    Some mammoths were smaller than children. Owls are the dumbest birds in the world. Very few people with Tourette's syndrome swear. You can't get a six-pack from doing sit-ups. King Arthur's sword wasn't called Excalibur. Milk doesn't make your bones strong. There's no bones in your fingers. The Bible states that humans can't become angels. Humans have more than two nostrils. It's impossible to slide down a bannister. At a wedding, the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. Ties were invented for war, not fashion. Most Disney classics made almost no money. Slavery has only been illegal in the UK since 2010. George Washington wasn't the first American President. Velcro doesn’t exist. Nobody knows why we sleep.

    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.

    In The Revenge of Anguished English, this "Abbot of Absurdity" (as People magazine has dubbed him) leaves us limp with laughter at how the innocent, the negligent, and the pompous mangle the English language. True to the code of this super-duper blooper snooper, all the fluffs and flubs, goofs and gaffes, and blunders, botches, boo-boos, and bloopers are genuine, authentic, certified, and unretouched. Nothing has been made up!* Student blooper: The four gospels are written by John, Paul, George, and that other guy.* Science blooper: Elephants eat roots, leaves, grasses, and sometimes bark. * In a church bulletin: Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.* A headline howler: DENVER CHAPTER WILL HAVE SENATOR FOR BREAKFAST * On a frozen food package: Defrost your frozen food before eating.* Misplaced modifier: Children should not drive golf carts under the age of sixteen.* Spelling error: The driver of the car was cited for wreckless driving.

    Let's own up and face facts: we're getting older, the politicians are not getting any wiser, and the world's going to hell in a handbasket.It's time to panic.Here's a book packed with quotations proving that keeping calm is simply not an option.

    Here, he explains how you can effortlessly hold your own against the most highbrow members of society, so that never again will you confuse 'consomme' with 'coulis', or 'entree' with 'entrecote'."

    Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!