They casserole. They pinwheel. They pump the salad spinner like it's a CPR dummy. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies out of the oven. These twelve irresistible stories take us from a haunted prewar Manhattan apartment building to the set of a rigged reality television show, from the unique initiation ritual of a book club to the getaway car of a pageant princess on the lam, from the gallery opening of a tinfoil artist to the fitting room of a legendary lingerie shop. Vicious, fresh, and nutty as a poisoned Goo Goo Cluster, American Housewife is an uproarious, pointed commentary on womanhood.

    When a mysterious phantom enters his life, he sets himself on a quest to discover the true meaning of lummoxness, and what he learns along the way is both shocking and hilarious.Written with honesty and selfeffacing wry humor, Lummox is an exceptional story of manhood at a time of its redefinition, a book that will leave you laughing out loud in recognition and cheering for lummoxes everywhere.

    This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . .Dogs and cats who ran for political officeThe bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victimsThe man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi DesertSearching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar systemTwantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effectsThe true story of Boaty McBoatfaceAnd much more!

    in Transfiguration. Otherwise you would've done something about your face."Whether you're a N.E.W.T.-level wizard or a wide-eyed witch still awaiting your Hogwarts acceptance letter, you've probably encountered a merciless Malfoy or despicable Dursley who makes your magical blood boil. If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, this is the book for you!

    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

    

    And, for better or worse, I 'jotted' them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary!"Gary Larson, from the preface to The Complete Far SideRevered by its fans as the funniest, most original, most "What the ... ?"-inspiring cartoon ever, The Far Side® debuted in January 1980 and enjoyed an illustrious 14 years on the worlds comics pages until Gary Larson's retirement in 1994. The Complete Far Side celebrates Gary's twisted, irreverent genius in this ultimate Far Side book, a lavish production, which takes its place alongside collector's-edition art books.A masterpiece of comic brilliance, The Complete Far Side contains every Far Side cartoon ever syndicated over 4,000 if you must know presented in (more or less) chronological order by year of publication, with more than 1,100 thathave never before appeared in a book. Also included are additional Far Side cartoons Larson created afterhis retirement: 13 that appeared in the last Far Side book, Last Chapter and Worse, and six cartoons that periodically ran as a special feature in The New York Times Science Times section as The Far Side of Science.Creator Gary Larson offers a rare glimpse into the mind of The Far Side®in quirky and thoughtful introductions to each of the 14 chapters. Complaint letters, fan letters, and queries from puzzled readers appear alongside some of the more provocative or elusive panels. Actor, author,and comedian Steve Martin offers his pithy thoughts in a foreword, and GaryLarson's former editor describes what it was like to be "the guy who could explain every Far Side cartoon."The Complete Far Side © 2003 by FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Far Side ® and the Larson ® signature are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.

    He answered questions such as how do porcupines mate, what exactly does Barney Rubble do for a living, and where is Einstein's brain? His answers changed your life. Or at least settled a bet with a loved one. But surely, you are thinking, all the salient facts of the universe have been ascertained by now. Ha! Get a load of the mysteries The Master explores in this landmark volume:, If Teflon is such a nonsticky substance, how do they get it to stick to the pan? , Is the Great Cabal implanting microchips in our brains?, Do fluorescent lights cause cataracts?, What do Scotsmen wear under those kilts?, Can some people extinguish street lamps by force of their bodily emanations? , Is the U.S. Government really hiding alien spaceships?

     In her late twenties, M.E. Evans hops on a plane to Italy on a mission to change her life and that’s exactly what happens. Unfortunately, personal growth isn’t always easy. In Naked, bestselling author, M.E. Evans tackles the dysfunctional family narrative and travel memoir in a way that is refreshingly honest, painfully vulnerable, and wildly entertaining. If you’ve ever set foot in a foreign country or picked up a travel memoir you probably think you already know what Naked is about: a dreamy personal account of the life-altering beauty that is Italy. And sure, that’s in there, nestled somewhere between the profound grief, bruised ego, debilitating anxiety, chronic depression, vagina paintings, a boyfriend with billowing chest hair and a mother-in-law who forcibly irons your underwear. Evans’ dream of a magical life abroad is marred by forbidden love, the death of her younger brother, and a batshit crazy family, yet she skillfully merges tragedy and humor for a wild emotional journey exploring what it means to be human–flaws and all. Evans’ wit, compassion, and vulnerability make reading this book a rarely authentic and relatable experience. You’ll cry, you’ll cackle, and you’ll want Evans to be your best friend.

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    With an estimated word count of well over 700,000 words, the book is not an undertaking for the casual reader. The book can be a very tedious and boring read. This turns many people off from wanting to commit any time to understanding the foundational doctrine of Christianity. However, as atheists we really need to have at least a basic understanding of the Bible if we are going to make a judgment call about the religion. No matter which sect of Christianity someone subscribes to, the Bible is the foundation of Christian belief. This book is a mere 7,000 words to tell a slimmed down version of the basic story of the Bible. This book focused on the narrative rather than any underlying allegory or metaphor inherent in the narrative. The author attempts to challenge the notion of biblical literalism by showing that the story in its most basic form is simply too fantastic for any rational person to believe.

    With over a billion views and millions of subscribers to his name, he is the undisputed king of social media. But despite this success he is a self-confessed bell-end. Excessively posting selfies, oversharing about his dead nan, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering from red-hot Fifa rage, are just some of his undesirable online habits. However, with acceptance comes salvation and now KSI is blowing the doors off the internet to find the cure. No one is spared, as KSI takes down fellow YouTubers, trolls, paedos, Tinder catfishers and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe. Along the way he also reveals how to become a YouTube kingpin as well as his hot Fifa tips, before he unveils his online revolution to help save the next generation from his fate.So, if you want to avoid becoming a total bell-end, then calm your tits, and simply take the medicine KSI is dishing up.

    The perfect book for the Nana of today, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!

    Featuring content from Quirk's nerdiest titles plus all-new, never-before-seen good stuff from the geekiest bloggers in the known universe. Chapters include: GEEK SKILLS FROM POP CULTURE: How to survive a haunted house, perform the Vulcan nerve pinch, decode ciphers, and master other survival skills. GEEKS IN ACTION: How to make amazing YouTube vids, create comic books, handle yourself in an online multiplayer game, and generally get your geek on. THE GEEK GATHERING: How to have the best convention experience of your life. GEEK LOVE: How to craft an online dating profile, plan a geeky marriage proposal, pass on geek wisdom to your kids, and otherwise enjoy the human emotion of "love."

    Among other topics, Al opened up about his nerdy childhood, his late-night writing binges, his gut-wrenching reach for movie stardom, and his hopes for his latest album, Mandatory Fun. He also discussed his future plans to have a drug problem. The interview was conducted by Mara Altman, the author of five bestselling Kindle Singles including “Baby Steps,” “Bearded Lady,” and the Kindle Singles Interview with Tom Robbins. Altman has worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice, and has also written for New York Magazine, The New York Times and Salon. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, “Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm,” which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. Cover design by Adil Dara