This Year I Will...: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True


M.J. Ryan - 2006
    Every New Year’s Day, my list of resolutions is: Ambitious. I aim for everything from losing weight to saving more money for my retirement. Realistic. I just try to bump my good behavior up a notch--be a better friend, give more money to charity---without giving myself any strict deadlines or goals.Precise. I decide exactly how many men I will ask for a date, or how many new jobs I will apply for. Whenever I decide to change something, it’s usually because:My doctor has put the fear of God into me.I read a magazine article about why making this change is important.I start daydreaming about how great life will be after I make the change. True or False: When you want to make a big change in your life, timing is crucial. Failure is:Impossible.Inevitable. Not in my vocabulary.(The answers are on the inside back flap.)Learn the secret to making changes that stickEvery so often people get inspired (again!) to lose weight, get organized, start saving, or stop worrying –but a few months later they give up, frustrated. It doesn’t have to be that way. In This Year I Wil . . .l, bestselling author M.J. Ryan offers breakthrough wisdom and coaching to help readers make this time the time that change becomes permanent. Why do people find it so hard to change? The secret is that everyone has their own formula for making changes that stick, but most people don’t know what theirs is. They think there is one way to lose five pounds, and another way to stay on top of their e-mail, but they don’t realize that for all changes, there is one system that works best for each individual. This Year I Will . . . helps you lock on to your unique formula for planning, implementing, and seeing a life change through, so you can use it again and again to tackle anything else you’d like to do. For anyone who has broken a New Year’s resolution, fallen off a diet, or given up on fulfilling a dream, the ingenious strategies, inspiring stories, and sheer motivational energy of This Year I Will . . . help you make a promise to yourself that you can actually keep.Answers to the jacket quiz: c, c, false, b. Take the whole quiz and learn your score at M.J. Ryan’s Web site, www.mj-ryan.com.

Eat Move Sleep: How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes


Tom Rath - 2013
    Named to Apple iTunes Best of 2013 in Nonfiction and Health."Well written and scrupulously researched, this breezy guide lobbies for an all-encompassing approach to improving one's lifestyle...Rath's '30-Day Guide'...is clear and actionable." -Kirkus review From the author of StrengthsFinder 2.0, How Full Is Your Bucket?, Strengths Based Leadership, and Wellbeing comes a transformative book and online application that will improve your health for years to come. While Tom's bestsellers on strengths and well-being have inspired more than 5 million people in the last decade, Eat Move Sleep reveals his greatest passion and expertise. Quietly managing a serious illness for more than 20 years, Tom has assembled a wide range of information on the impact of eating, moving, and sleeping. Written in his classic conversational style, Eat Move Sleep features the most proven and practical ideas from his research. This remarkably quick read offers advice that is comprehensive yet simple and often counterintuitive but always credible. Eat Move Sleep will help you make good decisions automatic -- in all three of these interconnected areas. With every bite you take, you will make better choices. You will move a lot more than you do today. And you will sleep better than you have in years. More than a book, Eat Move Sleep is a new way to live.

Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations


William Ury - 1991
    You’ll learn how to:• Stay in control under pressure• Defuse anger and hostility• Find out what the other side really wants• Counter dirty tricks• Use power to bring the other side back to the table• Reach agreements that satisfies both sides' needsGetting Past No is the state-of-the-art book on negotiation for the twenty-first century. It will help you deal with tough times, tough people, and tough negotiations. You don’t have to get mad or get even. Instead, you can get what you want!

Status Anxiety


Alain de Botton - 2004
    For in its pages, a master explicator of our civilization and its discontents turns his attention to the insatiable quest for status, a quest that has less to do with material comfort than with love. To demonstrate his thesis, de Botton ranges through Western history and thought from St. Augustine to Andrew Carnegie and Machiavelli to Anthony Robbins.Whether it’s assessing the class-consciousness of Christianity or the convulsions of consumer capitalism, dueling or home-furnishing, Status Anxiety is infallibly entertaining. And when it examines the virtues of informed misanthropy, art appreciation, or walking a lobster on a leash, it is not only wise but helpful.

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples


John M. Gottman - 2011
    In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

Stuffocation


James Wallman - 2013
    On the way, he goes down the halls of the Elysée Palace with Nicolas Sarkozy, up in a helicopter above Barbra Streisand's house on the California coast, and into the world of the original Mad Men.Through fascinating characters and brilliantly told stories, Wallman introduces the innovators whose lifestyles provide clues to how we will all be living tomorrow, and he makes some of the world's most counterintuitive, radical, and worldchanging ideas feel inspiring – and possible for us all.

Dessert Can Save the World: Stories, Secrets, and Recipes for a Stubbornly Joyful Existence


Christina Tosi - 2022
    Dessert connects us heart-to-heart like almost nothing else. It brings us together in good times and bad, celebration and solace. Desserts mark big milestones and small wins and create indelible memories of comfort and joy. And Christina Tosi, the founder and CEO of Milk Bar, believes it can save the world. Does she really think the combination of sugar, flour, and butter has some magical ability to fix all the craziness of our modern existence? Of course not. Even with her trademark exuberance for baked goods that has touched millions of lives through her products, books, and television shows, Tosi knows a cookie is just a cookie. But bringing the joy a cookie holds into every area of your life most definitely can. The spirit of dessert—the relentless, unflinching commitment to finding or creating joy even when joy feels hard to come by—is what can save us. And then we, in turn, can each save the world. In Dessert Can Save the World, Tosi chronicles her path to success in work and life. Along the way, she shares the wisdom she learned growing up surrounded by strong, amazing women who passed along the legacy of baking to harness love and create connection with others, as well as personal stories about succeeding in the highly competitive food world by unapologetically expressing her true self. Tosi also shares a few very personal and unorthodox recipes, of course. Dessert Can Save the World reveals all the secret ingredients for transforming our outlooks, our relationships, our work, and our entire collective existence into something boldly optimistic and stubbornly joyful.

People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity


Alan C. Fox - 2014
    The trial is typically painful and the error is often costly. As Benjamin Franklin noted, "Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other." People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity defines, explains, and provides examples of 54 easy-to-grasp behavioral techniques that readers can use to improve their relationships, and their lives. It is the perfect resource for busy people looking for fast and effective solutions to the challenges they face every day.People Tools is time proven, inspirational, practical and easy to understand. From building self-esteem, to developing better communication skills, to finding effective ways to cope with anger, each "People Tool" addresses a specific issue or problem. Each tool provides a simple, straightforward strategy that readers can adopt to immediately bring about desired change and positive results. Every tool is illustrated and supported by anecdotal examples that are relevant and relatable.Although readers may recognize some of the more intuitive techniques in People Tools, this source book provides explanations and helpful examples of many different tools so that the reader can build and expand his or her existing repertoire of skills. Some of the useful "People Tools" in the book include:1. The Belt Buckle. When words say, "Yes" and action (The Belt Buckle) says "No," trust the Belt Buckle2. The Ticker Tape. At times honesty and completeness are not merely the best policy--they are the only policy3. Catching a Feather. An alternative to an endless chase, this Tool allows solutions to float into your lifePeople Tools is organized into 54 chapters. Each chapter contains short, engaging stories using humor and personal anecdotes to illustrate the "People Tool" presented. The language is friendly and non-intimidating. Each chapter presents a unique solution to a specific problem. The reader could open the book to any page and find practical solutions they can immediately apply to their own lives.

Daily Rituals: Women at Work


Mason Currey - 2019
    We see how these brilliant minds get to work, the choices they have to make: rebuffing convention, stealing (or secreting away) time from the pull of husbands, wives, children, obligations, in order to create their creations.From those who are the masters of their craft (Eudora Welty, Lynn Fontanne, Penelope Fitzgerald, Marie Curie) to those who were recognized in a burst of acclaim (Lorraine Hansberry, Zadie Smith) . . . from Clara Schumann and Shirley Jackson, carving out small amounts of time from family life, to Isadora Duncan and Agnes Martin, rejecting the demands of domesticity, Currey shows us the large and small (and abiding) choices these women made--and continue to make--for their art: Isak Dinesen, "I promised the Devil my soul, and in return he promised me that everything I was going to experience would be turned into tales," Dinesen subsisting on oysters and Champagne but also amphetamines, which gave her the overdrive she required . . . And the rituals (daily and otherwise) that guide these artists: Isabel Allende starting a new book only on January 8th . . . Hilary Mantel taking a shower to combat writers' block ("I am the cleanest person I know") . . . Tallulah Bankhead coping with her three phobias (hating to go to bed, hating to get up, and hating to be alone), which, could she "mute them," would make her life "as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water" . . . Lillian Hellman chain-smoking three packs of cigarettes and drinking twenty cups of coffee a day--and, after milking the cow and cleaning the barn, writing out of "elation, depression, hope" ("That is the exact order. Hope sets in toward nightfall. That's when you tell yourself that you're going to be better the next time, so help you God.") . . . Diane Arbus, doing what "gnaws at" her . . . Colette, locked in her writing room by her first husband, Henry Gauthier-Villars (nom de plume: Willy) and not being "let out" until completing her daily quota (she wrote five pages a day and threw away the fifth). Colette later said, "A prison is one of the best workshops" . . . Jessye Norman disdaining routines or rituals of any kind, seeing them as "a crutch" . . . and Octavia Butler writing every day no matter what ("screw inspiration"). Germaine de Staël . . . Elizabeth Barrett Browning . . . George Eliot . . . Edith Wharton . . . Virginia Woolf . . . Edna Ferber . . . Doris Lessing . . . Pina Bausch . . . Frida Kahlo . . . Marguerite Duras . . . Helen Frankenthaler . . . Patti Smith, and 131 more--on their daily routines, superstitions, fears, eating (and drinking) habits, and other finely (and not so finely) calibrated rituals that help summon up willpower and self-discipline, keeping themselves afloat with optimism and fight, as they create (and avoid creating) their creations.

The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome


Harriet B. Braiker - 2000
    Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense


Suzette Haden Elgin - 1980
    In The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense you'll learn the skills you need to respond to all types of verbal attack. Specific strategies fro your defense include:* Twelve rules of clear, effective interaction* Recognition of five verbal modes--the Placator, Blamer, Distractor, Computer, and Leveler* Tone of voice--make yours bolder and more assertive* Alternative scripts--better approaches to common confrontation* Body language--how it supports what you say* and in special chapters directed to both men and women, the author explains how women have long been the verbal victims of men and what both sexes can do to break this destructive patternWith numerous examples of verbal confrontations and a journal to help you keep track of your progress, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense will give you the perception you need to deal confidently in any interaction.

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know


Katty Kay - 2014
    Yet men still predominate in the corporate world. In The Confidence Code, Claire Shipman and Katty Kay argue that the key reason is confidence.Combining cutting-edge research in genetics, gender, behavior, and cognition—with examples from their own lives and those of other successful women in politics, media, and business—Kay and Shipman go beyond admonishing women to "lean in."Instead, they offer the inspiration and practical advice women need to close the gap and achieve the careers they want and deserve.

In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed


Carl Honoré - 2004
    We strain to be more efficient, to cram more into each minute, each hour, each day. Since the Industrial Revolution shifted the world into high gear, the cult of speed has pushed us to a breaking point. Consider these facts: Americans on average spend seventy-two minutes of every day behind the wheel of a car, a typical business executive now loses sixty-eight hours a year to being put on hold, and American adults currently devote on average a mere half hour per week to making love.Living on the edge of exhaustion, we are constantly reminded by our bodies and minds that the pace of life is spinning out of control. In Praise of Slowness traces the history of our increasingly breathless relationship with time and tackles the consequences of living in this accelerated culture of our own creation. Why are we always in such a rush? What is the cure for time sickness? Is it possible, or even desirable, to slow down? Realizing the price we pay for unrelenting speed, people all over the world are reclaiming their time and slowing down the pace -- and living happier, healthier, and more productive lives as a result. A Slow revolution is taking place.Here you will find no Luddite calls to overthrow technology and seek a preindustrial utopia. This is a modern revolution, championed by cell-phone using, e-mailing lovers of sanity. The Slow philosophy can be summed up in a single word -- balance. People are discovering energy and efficiency where they may have been least expected -- in slowing down.In this engaging and entertaining exploration, award-winning journalist and rehabilitated speedaholic Carl Honoré details our perennial love affair with efficiency and speed in a perfect blend of anecdotal reportage, history, and intellectual inquiry. In Praise of Slowness is the first comprehensive look at the worldwide Slow movements making their way into the mainstream -- in offices, factories, neighborhoods, kitchens, hospitals, concert halls, bedrooms, gyms, and schools. Defining a movement that is here to stay, this spirited manifesto will make you completely rethink your relationship with time.

Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People


Joseph O'Connor - 1990
    NLP, one of the fastest growing developments in applied psychology, describes in simple terms what they do differently, and enables you to learn these patterns of excellence. This approach gives the practical skills used by outstanding communicators. Excellent communication is the basis of creating excellent results. NLP skills are proving invaluable for personal development and professional excellence in counselling, education and business. Introducing NLP includes:- How to create rapport with others- Influencing skills- Understanding and using body language- How to think about and achieve the results you want- Effective meetings, negotiations and selling

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love


Amir Levine - 2010
    F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.