The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature


Geoffrey Miller - 2000
    Psychologist Geoffrey Miller offers the most convincing-and radical-explanation for how and why the human mind evolved.Consciousness, morality, creativity, language, and art: these are the traits that make us human. Scientists have traditionally explained these qualities as merely a side effect of surplus brain size, but Miller argues that they were sexual attractors, not side effects. He bases his argument on Darwin's theory of sexual selection, which until now has played second fiddle to Darwin's theory of natural selection, and draws on ideas and research from a wide range of fields, including psychology, economics, history, and pop culture. Witty, powerfully argued, and continually thought-provoking, The Mating Mind is a landmark in our understanding of our own species.

The Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why We Repeat Behaviors That Create Hardships and Ruin Relationships


Stanley Rosner - 2006
    Yet, 30 years later, the boy now a man leaves his own family. A young woman who's broken off an abusive relationship is now attracted to the same kind of personality in a potential boyfriend. And an attorney who grew up with an impossible-to-please father takes a job in a firm where the boss thinks praise is never productive. These are the kind of repetitive cycles that Stanley Rosner has seen time and again in his practice across 40 years as a clinical psychologist. A past president of the Connecticut Psychological Association, Rosner examines in this book whether there is for some people a compulsion to repeat self-destructive acts, and what the foundation for that compulsion might be, as well as how it can be changed to afford better, happier living.Assisted by popular author Patricia Hermes, Rosner offers many eye-opening vignettes from his therapy rooms, showing us clearly how early life events can create unconscious dilemmas that move us to repeat the situation in other forms. He aims to show us how we can resolve the issues that linger, explaining how to recognize these issues, then move forward to put them to rest in ways that are not self-sabotaging. What I have to offer, says Rosner, is the opportunity for change.

The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy


Mary E. DeMuth - 2018
    Is everything in your head? Unfortunately, toxic friendships happen to everyone, but we seldom identify the underlying issues while we battle confusion or the friendship breaks up.Maybe you're left bewildered in the friendship's wake, paralyzed to move forward.After wading through several difficult friendships, Mary DeMuth reveals the seven different types of toxic relationships and empowers you to identify the messiest relationships causing you the greatest anguish.Face the reality of your broken relationship, and unearth exactly what went wrong.Discover why you may attract toxic people.Heal from broken relational patterns so you can choose safer friends.Evaluate when it's time to press into a friendship or let it go.You'll gain a new relationship with Jesus as you trust him to be your confidant, healer, and life-giving friend.

Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go


Rhonda Findling - 1996
    In this inspirational, revolutionary guide to letting go and moving on after the trauma of a breakup, psychotherapist Rhonda Findling teaches women how to triumph over the almost obsessive urge to pick up the phone. With its prescriptive, easy-to-follow approach, Don't Call That Man! is an indispensable tool for weathering the pain of heartbreak. It features simple exercises that provide an emotional outlet for a difficult process; charts that schedule free time away from the telephone; and much more, including:Moving on from a ruined relationshipWhat is an ambivalent man, and how do you get over him?Mothers, fathers and menBuilding and using a support systemThe 10-Step program to not call that manStep-by-step, from heartache to healing, Don't Call That Man! is a map on how to heal the pain of a lost love; how to overcome feelings of neediness and desperation; and above all, how to regain focus on what's important and it's not calling that man. It's the perfect book to embrace on the way to a new and more gratifying relationship.

Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women


Anne Moir - 1989
    

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?


Connell Cowan - 1985
    With true-life accounts from women who have successfully turned around foundering relationships, two renowned clinical psychologists show how a woman can dramatically influence the course of love. Here's how you can learn the secrets that evoke loving and positive responses from men and find out exactly what kind of woman a man loves - and stays with - forever. Trusting a man to love your strength Arousing a man's passion and desire Deepening love through friendship Giving up the prince and finding the man And 11 essential rules for staying in love

The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive Throughadolescence


SuEllen Hamkins - 2007
    With their young daughters, the group met regularly to speak frankly about such issues as girls’ friendships (and aggression), puberty, the media’s influence on their self-image and esteem, drugs, and sexuality. As their daughters matured, the mothers marveled at the strength and confidence with which the girls thrived through adolescence. The Project had succeeded in creating a haven from the many perils of teen culture. Equally important, it helped the mothers navigate their own fears and concerns about adolescence with integrity and grace. At once simple and revolutionary, this book details the success of the Mother-Daughter Project’s groundbreaking model, providing the reader with a road map for strengthening her bond with her own daughter, and providing strategies for staying close through adolescence and beyond.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free


Linda Kay Klein - 2018
    Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls—resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—and trapped them in a cycle of shame. This is the sex education Linda Kay Klein grew up with. Fearing being marked a Jezebel, Klein broke up with her high school boyfriend because she thought God told her to, and took pregnancy tests though she was a virgin, terrified that any sexual activity would be punished with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. When the youth pastor of her church was convicted of sexual enticement of a twelve-year-old girl, Klein began to question the purity-based sexual ethic. She contacted young women she knew, asking if they were coping with the same shame-induced issues she was. These intimate conversations developed into a twelve-year quest that took her across the country and into the lives of women raised in similar religious communities—a journey that facilitated her own healing and led her to churches that are seeking a new way to reconcile sexuality and spirituality. Sexual shame is by no means confined to evangelical culture; Pure is a powerful wake-up call about our society’s subjugation of women.

Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality


Nancy R. Pearcey - 2018
    A two-time winner of the ECPA Gold Medallion Award, Pearcey has been hailed by The Economist as "America's preeminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual." In Love Thy Body she offers a respectful but riveting exposE of the secular worldview that lies behind trendy slogans and political talking points. A former agnostic, Pearcey is a sensitive guide to the secular ideas that shape current debates. She empowers readers to intelligently and compassionately engage today's most controversial moral and social challenges.In a surprise shattering of stereotypes, Pearcey demonstrates that while secularism promises much, in reality it delivers little. She turns the tables on stereotypes that portray Christianity as harsh and bigoted, and invites a fresh look at its holistic, life-affirming principles: it is a worldview that matches the real world and fits with human experience.All along, Pearcey keeps readers entranced with gripping stories of real people wrestling with hard questions in their own lives--sharing their pain, their struggles, and their triumphs.

Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships


Marnia Robinson - 2009
    Obediently, we fall in love amid showers of passionate fireworks, bond for a time … and then often get fed up with each other and grow irritable or numb. Perhaps we try to remodel our mate, seek solace online, or pursue a new love interest. Ancient sages recognized this biological snare and hinted at a way to dodge it: use lovemaking to balance one another and harmony arises naturally.  With an entertaining blend of personal experiences, the latest neuroscience, and forgotten insights from around the globe, Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow confronts current assumptions about sex and love and offers a refreshing, practical approach to sexuality.

F*cked: Being Sexually Explorative and Self-Confident in a World That's Screwed


Corinne Fisher - 2017
    As the podcast grew, and Corinne and Krystyna got to know their fans, stories of sexual assault, verbal and emotional abuse, and crippling shame became common topics of discussion along with those humorous conversations highlighting overall sexual confusion among many adults. The podcast is now an community of over a million listeners worldwide, and a place where any and all taboo sex topics are discussed freely, both with celebrity guests and the real people in their lives.Their new book, F*cked, follows that model, as Corinne and Krystyna bring a mix of raw, ridiculous, and serious sexual conversation to the page that will include topics like:Why shame is completely made up and how we can stop giving into itSexual exploration and how it sometimes ends in a trip to the ERStuff we should stop doing: Snooping, nitpicking our bodies, and faking orgasmsAsking your sexual partner uncomfortable questionsHow to get yourself out of an unsafe situationMasturbation, threesomes, porn, sex toys, butt stuffAnd much, much moreCorinne and Krystyna are tired of books that pander to women like they’re hot messes, unable to handle their emotions without the assistance of a man, a glass of rosé, and a Xanax. This book will teach the reader, be they male, female, transgender or undecided, that you deal with sh*t, you brush your shoulder off, and you move the f*ck on. In a society where it has, for some reason, become chic to be the victim, they say this pity party ends now.This is a guide to love and sex for women who drink whiskey because they like it, not because it’s a cute thing to say on your Tinder profile. It has no trigger warnings because life doesn’t come with those. It won’t talk down to you or coddle you because you’re better than that. Corinne and Krystyna aren’t going to explain why he’s just not that into you, because it doesn’t f*cking matter. Despite what television, Rom-Coms, and glossy magazines tell you, you’re fine all by yourself. This is the book Bridget Jones should’ve read instead of writing that sh*tty diary in the first place.

Swoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them


Betsy Prioleau - 2013
    Instead of a satanic rake, slick player, or rich, handsome powerbroker, he's an unlikely, often homely Romeo who cares about women and understands what they want. Through analyses of history s legendary lovers and interviews with today s heartthrobs, Prioleau uncovers the surprising seductive secrets that really rock female hearts, from unfeigned ardor to conversational flair. In doing so, she destroys the pick-up artists advice of such books as The Game. Finally, Prioleau critiques the twenty-first-century sexual malaise, especially women s record discontent with men, and argues that it s high time to retrieve and celebrate the great seducer.

The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages


Meghan Laslocky - 2012
    Award-winning journalist Meghan Laslocky advises: read through the pain. From divorce cases in ancient Rome to the art of crafting the perfect “I'm over you” mix CD, The Little Book of Heartbreak is a whirlwind tour through love's most crushing moments, including:• How Ernest Hemingway cheated on his wife and then stole her job• Painter Oscar Kokoschka's attempt to win back an ex by creating (and having liaisons with!) her life-size replica• Morrissey's personal creed about how sex is useless• What to watch, listen to, and read to forget an ex faster than you can say “rebound”

Awards for Good Boys: Tales of Dating, Double Standards, and Doom


Shelby Lorman - 2019
    Through clever illustrations and written vignettes, Awards for Good Boys makes literal the tendency to applaud men for doing the absolute least and offers hilarious and cathartic cultural commentary through which we may begin to unravel our own assumptions about gender roles and how we treat each other, both online and in real life.

The Appearance of Power: How Masculinity is Expressed Through Aesthetics


Tanner Guzy - 2017
    Ideally those two would line up together and the world would be full of good, masculine men who dress and look like good masculine men. But all too often, reality is something different. There are good men and strong leaders out there who dress and look like children or bums. There are awful, lazy men in the world who dress in a way that hides their vices from those around them and makes them appear better than they truly are. In an attempt to correct for these disparities, our current culture tries to rob both appearance of its power and power of its appearance - to say that the way a person dresses or looks doesn’t - or at least shouldn’t matter. We’re given platitudes like, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and there’s a often a cultural rush to prove ourselves as non-judgmental as we can. But a man’s appearance has been an integral part of humanity since before the dawn of civilization. As human beings we use mental shortcuts when assessing our surroundings and the people within them. It is inefficient and dangerous to treat every object, scenario, and person as a blank slate or an unknown. And, because it is our tendency to judge according to visual stimuli, we use physicality, body language, grooming, and clothing to quickly and effectively communicate who we are and how we want other people to perceive us. Some men dress to appear more physically threatening, others to convey status and power within social spheres, some attempt to fit in and not draw attention to themselves, and others will use their clothing to show their disdain for the social norms around them. Regardless of what your intentions are, your clothing says something about you. And no, this doesn’t just apply to you, but to every man who has ever interacted with another human being. From the ancient shaman, to the Wall Street banker, the Pope to the gutter punk, all men use clothing and appearance to tell the world who we are. Which means it’s worthwhile for you to understand how to use this tool effectively. The purpose of this book is to outline the underlying principles of how clothing affects men and masculinity. Understanding and applying those principles will take you far beyond looking like you’ve been dressed by an image consultant, in one of his five variations of acceptable clothing, and into the realm of being well-dressed all the time.