Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread


Chuck Palahniuk - 2015
    The absurdity of both life and death are on full display; in "Zombies," the best and brightest of a high school prep school become tragically addicted to the latest drug craze: electric shocks from cardiac defibrillators. In "Knock, Knock," a son hopes to tell one last off-color joke to a father in his final moments, while in "Tunnel of Love," a massage therapist runs the curious practice of providing 'relief' to dying clients. And in "Expedition," fans will be thrilled to find to see a side of Tyler Durden never seen before in a precursor story to Fight Club.Funny, caustic, bizarre, poignant; these stories represent everything readers have come to love and expect from Chuck Palahniuk. They have all the impact of a sharp blow to the solar plexus, with considerable collateral damage to the funny bone.

The No Hellos Diet


Sam Pink - 2011
    Find yourself working at a department store where everyone must wear red and khaki clothing. Find yourself throwing out garbage for fifty cents more than minimum wage. Find yourself worried about getting your arm ripped off by the box compactor. Find yourself talking about licking assholes with your co-worker. Find yourself driving away into a video game sunset with an Amish man.The No Hellos Diet reminds you of the time you burnt down your future ex-girlfriend's trampoline. It reminds you of the couple of times you smoked crack. And the time you meditated on the most important question of all: Can a cat be killed with a single punch? Find yourself stunned by the prose of a modern novel-master as he follows the course of your life for an entire year.

Switch Bitch


Roald Dahl - 1974
    In the middle, meanwhile, are The Great Switcheroo and The Last Act, two stories exploring a darker side of desire and pleasure.In the black comedies of Switch Bitch Roald Dahl brilliantly captures the ins and outs, highs and lows of sex.'Dahl is too good a storyteller to become predictable' Daily TelegraphRoald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.

The Handsome Squirm


Carlton Mellick III - 2012
    A man is arrested in the middle of the night. He doesn't know why. He doesn't remember committing any crime. The cops drop him off in a small community in the middle of the woods where a wedding is about to begin. It is his wedding. He doesn't recognize the bride, but she's allegedly pregnant with his children. All twelve of them. And by law, he must marry her or go to prison for the next two decades.But who is this strange woman he is to spend the rest of his life with? She doesn't seem quite human. Her expressions are cold and emotionless. Her movements are like that of a spider. She is Usagi, a creature who feeds on her human mate during pregnancy. Now this man has to find a way to terminate the marriage if he is to survive. But it's not going to be easy. His friends, his family, and his country are all against him. They believe a father should be willing to give up anything for the sake of his family. Even his life.Like Franz Kafka's "The Trial" meets an erotic body horror version of "The Blob," this darkly absurd tale is classic Mellick.

The Overwhelming Urge


Andersen Prunty - 2008
    It is a world where body parts randomly fall off and fathers turn into antelopes. In this world, vampires and spontaneous combustions are a constant threat. THE OVERWHELMING URGE is a collection of bizarro flash fiction, containing ridiculous characters and absurd stories reminiscent of David Lynch and Franz Kafka. Written at knifepoint in a burning room, this book will make you think of a dirty comedian raving from Freud's couch.

Attic Clowns: Volume One


Jeremy C. Shipp - 2012
    Shipp.The stories include:GigglesPrincessDon’t LaughThe Glass Box

Gutmouth


Gabino Iglesias - 2012
    An obnoxious, toothy, foul-mouthed, pig of a mouth. Luckily, his girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. Marie, the one-legged stripper and cyber-prostitute love of his life is very accepting of it. And then a little too accepting. What would you do if your girlfriend cheated on you with the voracious yapper under your belly button? If you live in Gutmouth's world-a bleak city where gruesome, spontaneous mutations are no big deal, klepto-roaches take anything not tied-down, drugs turn pain into pleasure, consumers are tortured for growing food, and your best friend is a misogynistic rat-man-you might do something crazy. And what if you got caught?

Muscle Memory


Steve Lowe - 2010
    In its place is his wife's junk. Billy is now Tina, and Tina is dead. That's because Billy's dead. His lifeless body is still in bed and empty beer bottles and a container of antifreeze litter the kitchen counter. Over the next 24 hours, Billy and an odd assortment of neighbors, all experiencing their own bouts of body switcheroo, try to figure out what happened and why. Can they do it before the Feds find Billy's body? Was it aliens that caused this, or God, or the government? And did Edgar Winter really sleep with his sheep? Pro football Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw has those answers in a story that asks, What Would Kirk Cameron Do?

Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy


Bradley Sands - 2010
    A war breaks out over greeting cards. A suicidal amputee tries to kill himself. William S. Burroughs becomes an amateur archaeologist and Tao Lin drinks an ape-flavored smoothie.Between a breakfast of clocks, a lunch date with Adolf Hitler, and breakdancing in outer space, anything is possible in the work of Bradley Sands. Just never wear a bear costume to an orgy.Praise for Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy:"Nothing I could dream up compares to the strangeness and wildness of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy. You should read this book." - SHANE JONES, author of Light Boxes"Words cannot express what Bradley Sands can do with words. Every page in this book is shocking, hilarious, sad and surprising. Reading it is like crowd-surfing a bookstore full of basketball players on MDMA." - MYKLE HANSEN, author of HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!"Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy is like an Adult Swim show written by Russell Edson." - CARLTON MELLICK III, author of The Faggiest Vampire"A new strange amusement." - DENVER EXAMINER

ClownFellas: Tales of the Bozo Family


Carlton Mellick, III - 2015
    You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and HomelandIn a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Bozo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you.For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Bozo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Bozos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Bozos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing.Praise for ClownFellas“Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.”—Publishers Weekly“The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.”—Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header“I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown“If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it. . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue. . . . A must-read.”—This Is Horror   “Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative. . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . . ClownFellas is a gem!”—The Qwillery   “A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.”—Examiner.com   “Mellick has created another amazing read. . . . Highly recommended.”—Kitty Horror

The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I


Noah Cicero - 2013
    I" contains the early masterpieces by the greatest minimalist writer ever to hail from Youngstown, Ohio. Collecting Noah Cicero's most acclaimed and popular works, this volume includes the short novels "The Human War" (soon to be a major motion picture), "The Doomed," "The Condemned," and "Burning Babies," along with rare novellas and short stories that have not been available to the public in years. Stark in their beauty, raw in their sadness, and driven by a desperate compulsion to save - and be saved by - humanity, "The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I" highlights what it is to be young and poor in America. Buy this book and learn why freedom is good. Buy this book and become beautiful. Buy this book and know that the distance between you and happiness is the distance between you and the nearest Denny's. So get in the car and drive.

Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders


Neil Gaiman - 2006
    By turns delightful, disturbing, and diverting, Fragile Things is a gift of literary enchantment from one of the most unique writers of our time.Contents:• A Study in Emerald • (2003) • novelette• The Fairy Reel • (2004) • poem (variant of The Faery Reel)• October in the Chair • (2002) • shortstory• The Hidden Chamber • (2005) • poem• Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire • (2004) • shortstory (variant of Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Nameless House of the Night of Dread Desire)• The Flints of Memory Lane • (1997) • essay• Closing Time • (2003) • shortstory• Going Wodwo • (2002) • poem• Bitter Grounds • (2003) • novelette• Other People • (2001) • shortstory• Keepsakes and Treasures: A Love Story • (1999) • shortstory• Good Boys Deserve Favours • (1995) • shortstory• The Facts in the Case of the Departure of Miss Finch • (1998) • shortstory• Strange Little Girls • (2001) • shortstory• Harlequin Valentine • (1999) • shortstory• Locks • (1999) • poem• The Problem of Susan • (2004) • shortstory• Instructions • (2000) • poem• How Do You Think It Feels? • (1998) • shortstory• My Life • (2002) • poem• Fifteen Painted Cards from a Vampire Tarot • (1998) • shortstory• Feeders and Eaters • (2002) • shortstory• Diseasemaker's Croup • (2003) • shortstory• In the End • (1996) • shortstory• Goliath • (1998) • shortstory• Pages from a Journal Found in a Shoebox Left in a Greyhound Bus Somewhere Between Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Louisville, Kentucky • (2002) • shortstory• How to Talk to Girls at Parties • (2006) • shortstory• The Day the Saucers Came • (2006) • poem• Sunbird • (2005) • novelette• Inventing Aladdin • (2003) • poem• The Monarch of the Glen • [American Gods] • (2003) • novelette

Song for the Unraveling of the World


Brian Evenson - 2019
    In these stories of doubt, delusion, and paranoia, no belief, no claim to objectivity, is immune to the distortions of human perception. Here, self-deception is a means of justifying our most inhuman impulses--whether we know it or not.

Robots versus Slime Monsters


A. Lee Martinez - 2013
    Lee Martinez delivers his first short story collection, featuring ten original tales based on his previous fantasy and science fiction novels. If you're a Martinez fan, this collection is surely something you've been waiting for. If you're simply Martinez curious (and who isn't?) this is a great sampling of strange worlds of fantasy featuring talking gorillas, sensible housekeeping kobolds, cosmic monster gods, and world-conquering space squids. These all-new, all-different tales are available for the first time. Within you'll find tales of werewolf versus bigfoot, ogre versus wizard, and rock alien versus romantic entanglement. You'll experience a terrifying descent into madness via pizza delivery and the existential angst of the gods of death. You'll discover why it's a bad idea to feed the pixies and why it's a good idea to always bring along a magical broom on your adventures. A collection eight years in the making (and worth every year), Robots versus Slime Monsters might not actually have any stories where a robot fights a slime monster, but it does feature a gorilla wrestling a lion. And in the end, isn't that almost as good?

Academic Exercises


K.J. Parker - 2014
    Parker, and it is a stunner. Weighing in at over 500 pages, this generous volume gathers together thirteen highly distinctive stories, essays, and novellas, including the recent World Fantasy Award-Winner, “Let Maps to Others”. The result is a significant publishing event, a book that belongs on the shelf of every serious reader of imaginative fiction.The collection opens with the World Fantasy Award-winning “A Small Price to Pay for Birdsong”, a story of music and murder set against a complex mentor/pupil relationship, and closes with the superb novella “Blue & Gold”, which features what may be the most beguiling opening lines in recent memory. In between, Parker has assembled a treasure house of narrative pleasures. In “A Rich, Full Week”, an itinerant “wizard” undergoes a transformative encounter with a member of the “restless dead.” “Purple & Black”, the longest story in the book, is an epistolary tale about a man who inherits the most hazardous position imaginable: Emperor. “Amor Vincit Omnia” recounts a confrontation with a mass murderer who may have mastered an impossible form of magic.Rounding out the volume — and enriching it enormously — are three fascinating and illuminating essays that bear direct relevance to Parker’s unique brand of fiction: “On Sieges”, “Cutting Edge Technology”, and “Rich Men’s Skins”.Taken singly, each of these thirteen pieces is a lovingly crafted gem. Together, they constitute a major and enduring achievement. Rich, varied, and constantly absorbing, Academic Exercises is, without a doubt, the fantasy collection of the year.Contents:- A Small Price to Pay for Birdsong (2011)- A Rich, Full Week (2010)- Amor Vincit Omnia (2010)- On Sieges (2009)- Let Maps to Others (2012)- A Room with a View (2011)- Cutting Edge Technology (2011)- Illuminated (2012)- Purple and Black (2009)- Rich Men’s Skins; A Social History of Armour (2013)- The Sun and I (2013)- One Little Room an Everywhere (2012)- Blue and Gold (2010)Cover illustration by Vincent Chong