Healing from Family Rifts: Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off from a Family Member


Mark Sichel - 2004
    It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. "Healing From Family Rifts "offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing and fulfillment. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome, including: A 10-step process to come to terms with the family dynamics that led to the split Methods to find peace and personal reconciliation Skills that help to build a second family of people whose values are in line with one's own Techniques to fight feelings of guilt when faced with a family rift Includes inspiring and instructive stories drawn from the author's patients that help readers put their own situations in perspective.

When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along


Joshua Coleman - 2007
    Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parent they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child. Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents:Reduce anger, guilt, and shameLearn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bondCome to terms with their own and their child's imperfectionsMaintain self-esteem through difficult timesDevelop strategies for rebuilding the relationship or move toward acceptance of what can't be changedUnderstand how society's high expectations of parents contribute to the risk of parental woundsBy helping parents recognize what they can do, and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other.

The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive


Robert E. Emery - 2004
    Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce--and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic--divorce is invariably painful, but parents can help promote their children's resilience. With compassion and authority, Dr. Emery explains: - Why it is so hard to really make divorce work- How anger and fighting can keep people from really separating- Why legal matters should be one of the last tasks- Why parental love--and limit setting--can be the best "therapy" for kids- How to talk to children, create workable parenting schedules, and more

Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship Without Blowing Up or Giving in


Laurie Puhn - 2010
    Hard-pressed for quality time with our partners and spouses, it's easy to fall into a poor communication routine. How can two people who love one another so much have such difficulty talking to one another?Drawing on her expertise in legal mediation and conflict resolution, Puhn's fresh approach gives simple, 5-minute conversations that will instantly improve communication--as well as the quality of relationships. In Fight Less, Love More, learn how to identify and conquer the poor verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships.Love is conditional, argues Puhn, and for love to survive, couples don't need to talk more--they need to talk better. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn's simple 5-minute strategies promise immediate results and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can confidently employ when faced with future conflict.

Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children


Sheri McGregor - 2017
     As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan ahead, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over setbacks and pain. You can be happy again. In a calm yet authoritative voice, and with exercises derived from her work as a life coach and her own recovery, McGregor helps mothers who did their best to come to terms with their estranged adult child's choices, and regain their health and happiness. To fathers of estranged adult children—this book can help you, too. "Ninety-three percent of the parents who answer my survey at RejectedParents.Net are mothers," says Sheri McGregor. "That's why the title is directed at them. But many of the book's examples are from couples and highlight the experiences of fathers and their reactions. The principles presented are relevant to fathers, and the strategies for coping can be used by anyone." In this encouraging and comprehensive book, McGregor fully covers the phenomenon of estranged adult children from families who never expected a son or daughter to cut ties and walk away. Nine in-depth chapters provide dozens of inspiring examples from among the thousands of parents of estranged adult children. Gain understanding and practical help from a mother who knows the pain of this devastating loss with all its uncertainty and heartache. Hope can remain, but you don't have to stay stalled, forever waiting. You can move past the disbelief and distress. Take charge. Reclaim yourself and your life—only maybe even better. Recommendations: The book is a must read for parents of estranged adult children and mental health professionals working with these families. Sheri McGregor’s work is a breath of fresh air offering a new perspective and providing support, encouragement, resources, and compassion to good parents who have found themselves in an unimaginable situation. ---Maritza Parks, LMHC, Inspired Journeys Counseling While Mothers are mentioned on the cover, dads, this is for you too! Done with the Crying is for any (and all) family member who wants to heal and move forward. This wonderful book will help you see how you can hold your chin up high, dry your eyes, and get on with your life. ---Joi Sigers, Self Help Dailly.com Done With the Crying also provides much time for reflection, for taking time to think about ones life and to read the stories of other women who are going through a similar situation. The book is easy to read, and provides much support and insight in a gentle and understanding way. ---Hennie Weiss, M.A., Metapsychology Online Reviews This is my best resource to assist families whose adult children have rejected them. In my role as a family life educator, I work with those affected by a loved one’s mental illness, and the sad phenomenon of estrangement is rampant. I’ve searched for resources and education, but there is precious little available to help rejected parents move forward. It did not take me many pages in to see the value for my work, and I often recommend this compassionately written book to parents and families who are in so much pain. ---Mara J. Briere, MA CFLE, President and Founder, Grow a Strong Family, Inc.

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives


Jane Adams - 2003
    She listens to a generation that “did everything right” and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven’t, at least, not yet—and meanwhile, we’re letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to “fix” their adult children—Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I’m Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind


Amy J.L. Baker - 2007
    This book examines the impact of PAS on adults and offers strategies and hope for dealing with the long-term effects.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last


John M. Gottman - 1994
    Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship.This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.

10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children


Shmuley Boteach - 2006
    Conversing. Connecting. When did it become so difficult? And how do we begin to change it for the better?This book was designed to help parents answer these important questions, and it is based on two fundamental ideas: The first is that there are no bad children, and no deliberately bad parents -- but that sometimes, despite the best of intentions on both sides, there can be bad relationships between parents and children. The second is that, as parents, we must do everything we can to save those relationships, to reach out and really communicate with our children, because it is only through talking to them that we can create an environment for inspiration and change.In this compelling book, Shmuley Boteach, passionate social commentator and outspoken relationship guru, walks you through the critical conversations, including: cherishing childhood; developing intellectual curiosity; knowing who you are and what you want to become; learning to forgive; realizing the importance of family and tradition; being fearless and courageous. As a father of eight, Rabbi Shmuley speaks from a wealth of experience. He has written a book for parents of children of all ages, from toddlers, who are just beginning to become aware of the world around them, to adolescents, who must learn to navigate all sorts of tricky social and academic pressures.10 Conversations will help you stay connected to your children so that they develop the kind of strong moral character that leads to rich, meaningful lives.

Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think


Bryan Caplan - 2011
    Parents invest more time and money in their kids than ever, but the shocking lesson of twin and adoption research is that upbringing is much less important than genetics in the long run. These revelations have surprising implications for how we parent and how we spend time with our kids. The big lesson: Mold your kids less and enjoy your life more. Your kids will still turn out fine.Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids is a book of practical big ideas. How can parents be happier? What can they change--and what do they need to just accept? Which of their worries can parents safely forget? Above all, what is the right number of kids for you to have? You'll never see kids or parenthood the same way again.

No More Bullies: For Those Who Wound or Are Wounded


Frank E. Peretti - 2003
    It's being undersized or oversized or less than beautiful. It's knowing you are vulnerable and that someone is ready to take advantage of your weakness. It's the fraternity you never wanted to join-the fellowship of the wounded spirit. And Frank Peretti is a member, too.In this powerful book, Frank Peretti shares his deeply personal story of growing up different, and the persecution he suffered because of it. And from this reservoir of memories he urges:those being abused to speak up and seek helpthose in authority to take notice- and actionthe "strong" kids to stand up and protect the weak- not prey upon themall of us to stop thinking of abuse as "normal" or as "kids being kids"This groundbreaking work shows how we all - bullies and victims alike - can find both healing and forgiveness from the anguish and torment associated with the growing epidemic of bullying.

Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples


Harville Hendrix - 2005
    In this groundbreaking book, Dr Harville Hendrix shares with you what he has learned about the psychology of love during more than thirty years of working as a therapist and helps you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship. For this edition of his classic book, Dr Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have added a new introduction describing the powerful influence this book has had on so many people over the years. With its step-by-step programme, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT will help you create a loving, supportive and revitalized partnership.

Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People


Mark Rosen - 1998
    By embracing four fundamental premises and putting into practice the author's many helpful and practical suggestions, you'll acquire the skills and insights necessary for turning around even the most troublesome relationship. What you need to keep in mind is that: (1) nothing in your life happens randomly and your difficulties have a deeper purpose; (2) frustration and even emotional pain are as necessary for your personal and spiritual growth as love and joy; (3) transforming enmity and completing unfinished business may be the most important skills you can learn in life; and (4) when you make an effort to work on your inner self, your outer relationships will be transformed.        This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself.

Click: The Magic of Instant Connections


Ori Brafman - 2010
    You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie. In a word, you “click.” From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.    From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?   According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.  In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.  From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.  A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place. Acclaim for Sway:“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times “A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company

How to Speak How to Listen


Mortimer J. Adler - 1983
    Adler gives a short course in effective communication, invaluable for salespeople, negotiators, teachers, and families seeking better communication among themselves.