Welcome to laughing until it hurts while covered in bodily fluids. Welcome to simple math at very high stakes. Welcome to an incredibly inappropriate sense of humor. Welcome to serving people on the most stressful days of their lives. Welcome to putting your hands in places you never imagined they'd be. Welcome to your front row seat to the ballad of life and death. That's not the welcome that this nurse was looking for, but that's the one he got. Irreverent and audacious, this brutally honest memoir covers what it’s like to come of age in an American Hospital. Welcome to a rollicking peak behind the curtain to what medical providers, and the health care system, are truly like.

    But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!

    From 'The hideousness of the art world', 'Being thick is no obstacle to being a successful artist' and 'Painting is a blind man's obsession'; to 'Socialising for party duds', 'Love may be blind, but marriage is an eye-opener' and 'If it can't be explained by science, try a seance'.

    "By reading my book, you can become happier without ever having to leave the comfort and security of your own private hell," she writes. In How to Be Hap-Hap-Happy Like Me, Merrill Markoe has undertaken the arduous task of actually carrying out the best "how to be happy" suggestions from the wisest of all possible sources of advice, the "365 Days to a Happier Life" Desk Calendar. So abandon the pursuit of happiness, sit back, and "extend a social invitation to someone you've always been afraid to approach," and share Merrill's unforgettable dinner with Fabio; "take the time to improve your knowledge of another period of history," while dining with Merrill at the Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament Restaurant franchise ("where the year is 1093 A.D. and you are the guests of the royal castle"); "plan a party and invite the people you care about," in which you watch Merrill answer the door in her pajamas and pretend the party was yesterday; "enroll in a class or lecture that interests you," accompanying Merrill to a session of Dominatrix 101 at the Learning Annex. Where else can you discover the beauty secrets of someone who is not so genetically perfect that her advice is completely useless, or "How to Please a Man Every Time and Have Him Okay Maybe Not Beg for More but at Least Not Demand a Whole Lot Less"? Markoe is that rare soul who will unselfishly share with you these and many other secrets of how to live a not-totally-nightmarish life. And even if you don't learn anything, this book will make you laugh, which is more happiness than you can get from most desk calendars.

    Observe. Ridicule.You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth. It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site.Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy…I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again!Your “Cool” High School Teacher…Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking,swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me either. I’m just wearing it as a goof.The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music…Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.

    With biting wit, bracing satire, and boundless good cheer, Mary Jo-distinguished member of the First Family of Circle Pines, Minnesota; she'll explain-takes you on a poignant, hilarious journey through the world of keepin' on. Dispatched from her Midwestern home state, then New York, Texas, and exotic points beyond, these very personal stories and essays, with illustrations by Len Peralta, reveal a warm, smart, funny writer who can spot the absurdities in what she deals with every day, and make her readers LOL at them. There's nobody else like Mary Jo Pehl. But then, there's nobody else like you, either. Hey, you two should get together! Read this book, and you will, my friend: you will.

    More than a place to stalk the white-tail, this is a place to get together, chase armadillos, swap campfire stories, listen to quail, make biscuits, and enjoy the antics of ringtails. It's the sort of place where a man is only as good as his dog, where memories last longer, where the hunter's moon is the perfect light for chasing raccoons. Most important, it is a place to recharge the spirit and renew family ties.

    With Arbitron ratings clocking over 3+ million listeners a week and simulcast daily in 37 million homes on Free Speech TV, where she is also the number one show, her strongest numbers are in the grand prize demographic of highly educated males 25-54, despite, or maybe because of , her status as an out gay woman. It probably explains the sublime effectiveness of her national billboard slogan: "Stephanie Miller...making men rise in the morning". Stephanie also headlined the country’s number one comedy tour, “Stephanie Miller’s Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour", as well as the number one comedy album, "Stephanie Miller's Sexy Liberal Comedy Album". She has recently had her second #1 comedy album in the country with her "Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour, Volume One". She frequents the Holy Trinity of cable news: CNN, MSNBC, and FOX, where she bursts the infallibility balloons of right wingers, often with one well-aimed pinpoint punchline. Here is SEXY LIBERAL!, which you can see as Al Franken rewritten by Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler horizontal on the desk of The Daily Show. Steph is the youngest child of Congressman William Miller of NY, Barry Goldwater’s running mate in 1964. We all know how that turned out. Though Steph was only 3, she shows here how that defeat affected her as much as it changed the Republican Party. It made her who she is. SEXY LIBERAL! is the book her 3,000,000 fans have been begging her to write. it’s both deeply personal and hilariously political. But most of all it is Stephanie’s unique voice, her jokes, her happy clappy optimism, and her truth that they tune in to day after day, that they download as a subscription podcast, that they buy tickets for, to see her unbleeped and in person. That’s what SEXY LIBERAL! delivers. Like an uncensored comedy drone right to your door!“Stephanie Miller is like ice cream for breakfast, or box-wine through a Krazy Straw: pure pleasure that some people say is bad for you, but you know better. Sexy Liberal! is deeply, deeply profane, big-hearted, surprising, and it might make you pee your pants a little. Just what you need! Read this book. Stephanie Miller for Everything, 2016!”--Rachel Maddow, host of The Rachel Maddow and author of Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power “Sexy Liberal! is a great book with mind-expanding astuteness and side-splitting humor. Stephanie Miller is so wondrously witty and wise you will want to quote her. But, first, you must read her. Buy this book and help Amazon at last turn a profit. --Lily Tomlin “Sexy Liberal! is inspired reading. It is laugh-enhancing and beyond thought-provoking! A must read. --Jane Wagner Reading Stephanie's book is like being on the best kind of dinner date. The conversation is smart, funny and politically insightful. And Stephanie's contribution bad either. Seriously, what a fun read. Stephanie, in her wonderfully self-deprecating way, lets you into her brilliant mind, her no BS take on the political scene, and life itself. Enter at your own risk.--Rob Reiner

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    A collection of humorous essays, accompanied by the author's own bizarre drawings, presenting Thurber's unremitting retort to the multitude of "self-help" books which were widespread in the 1930s and whose successors are still with us today.

    Stories so compelling you'll stay in your car to hear them through--even if you're sitting in your own driveway. "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! "host Peter Sagal captures your attention with colorful tales for and about moms. Heard in "All Things Considered, Weekend Edition, News & Notes," and other NPR programs, these stories and more are for moms, moms-to-be, and anyone who has ever known or had a mother.

    Staff nursing in a ward where she's challenged by an inventory driven ward sister, she reckons it's time to swap such trivialities for life as a district nurse.Independent thinking is one thing, but Jane's about to find that the drama on district can demand instant reaction; and without hospital back up, she's usually the one having to provide it. She meets a rich cast of patients all determined to follow their own individual star, and goes to Edinburgh where Queen Victoria's Jubilee Institute's nurse training is considered the cr me de la cr me of the district nursing world.Call Me Sister recalls Jane's challenging and often hilarious route to realizing her own particular dream.

    Astonishing and unforgettable, this is a captivating story about the effects of abuse on the mind of a child, the heart wrenching struggles of an impoverished family, and how a young girl strives and dreams for something better. Born in the Philippines in the 1960s, Xulli is the first child of many. By the time she is four, she is taking care of three other siblings with both her mother and father working. In the beginning things were difficult but not desperate. But then life turns exceedingly ugly when her father begins binging on gin, spending nearly every penny he earns on his addiction and leaving his family on the brink of starvation on a daily basis. The alcohol makes her abusive father mean. And very violent. At first, his anger is mostly directed at her mother, but after a particularly nasty beating, she flees for her life, leaving the children with him. Her father then turns his attention to Xulli and her siblings. Cruelly, he tries to teach the youngest ones that they don’t need their mother or milk by putting hot peppers on the nipples of their bottles. With her mother missing, Xulli must find a way to protect her siblings from their father and provide for their needs. Eventually her mother returns and the abusive cycle continues. Plagued by death, loss, and periods of starvation, Xulli struggles to provide for her siblings, when she is just a child herself. Even through many horrible experiences and extraordinary challenges, her spirit shines, never giving up hope. Demonstrating an extraordinary resiliency to survive against all odds, Xulli inspires us as she finds the courage to succeed in her own life. A note from the author: “I have written this book to raise awareness of the wide spread domestic violence and child abuse that is so prevalent in the Filipino culture. All too often children in the Philippines are robbed of their basic human rights to an education because they have to become parents to their siblings or have been sold for money. Through my writing and work, it is my passionate goal to help stop domestic violence and child abuse by educating the very young as well as adults about the effects of physical, emotional, and mental abuse, and show those in need how and where to seek help.” Victoria Mulato Note: When you order a copy of Sister Moon of the Philippines, a percentage of the proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to organizations that are working to preventing child abuse.

    Effectively a prison for some of the most violent and insane criminals in our society, it houses men who have committed the most horrific and frightening crimes imaginable. And despite being an expensive, taxpayer-funded facility, the workings of Carstairs remain subject to intense state secrecy.In Carstairs: Hospital for Horrors, author David Leslie examines the history of the institution, the crimes that have led patients to be committed to the State Hospital and highlights the risks of the brave and dedicated staff who work there. This shocking account delves into the nightmarish minds of men who have killed, raped and attacked family members, lovers, children and innocent bystanders.For many patients, there is little hope of ever being released. But for others, including some considered to be amongst the most dangerous in society, release can become a reality. Corsairs features an exclusive, first-hand account of a bloody escape in 1976, when Robert Mone, along with Thomas McCulloch, escaped and went on the run. Three men died and now, for the very first time, Robert Mone gives his own account of an event which shocked the nation. And it is a telling insight into one of the most high-profile yet secretive institutions there is.

    On your path to success, both the biggest hurdle and the biggest support is your own mind – depending on how you have trained it.”– CHANAKYANo school or university teaches us how to make friends, have a successful career, maintain a healthy married life, run a family or live life in general. How many times have we wished for a roadmap to navigate the confusing landscape of daily-life, to have a guidebook to show us the way? In his much-awaited book Thus Spoke Chanakya, bestselling author Radhakrishnan Pillai decodes ancient texts from the illustrious Kautilya’s Arthashastra within the context of modern times and doles them out in short, crisp passages for everyday practice and use. A perfect read for those who yearn to master the teachings of Chanakya for overall success. Radhakrishnan Pillai is the bestselling author of Corporate Chanakya, Chanakya’s 7 Secrets of Leadership, Chanakya in You and Katha Chanakya. He has a PhD in Kautilya’s Athashastra and a Master’s degree in Sanskrit. A renowned management consultant and speaker, he heads the Leadership Center at the University of Mumbai.