Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty, 1485-1917


Richard Curtis - 1998
    Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty is the book for you. Here, at last, for the first time, are the full scripts of one of British television's funniest comedies. Follow the hilarious misadventures of the despicable Edmund Blackadder and his dimwitted sidekick Baldrick through four centuries of hopelessly mangled English history: from medieval nastiness through English history: from medieval nastiness through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War. Aside from the ball-bouncingly funny scripts themselves, Blackadder also features special bonus sections: "Instruments of Torture in the Late Middle Ages"; "Medieval Medicine" ("1. Herbs; 2. Leeches; 3. Saw It Off"); and an indispensable "Index of Blackadder's Finest Insults".

Really Important Stuff My Cat Has Taught Me


Cynthia L. Copeland - 2017
      Cats are the ultimate savants, possessing intelligence, poise, and sass in equal measure. They know when to play it cool, and when to pounce; when to fly solo, and when to cuddle up. Entertaining, unpredictable, and just a bit wild, cats encourage us to explore, take chances, and live on the edge—just as if we too had nine lives. Cynthia L. Copeland, author of the bestselling Really Important Stuff My Dog Has Taught Me and Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me, now turns her attention to our mysterious feline friends. Every page of this full-color gift book is a joyful reminder of what’s important in life. Like Confidence: “Insist on a seat at the table.” Curiosity: “Have more questions than answers.” Adventure: “Sometimes you have to leap before you look.” Individuality: “You’ll be remembered for what sets you apart.” Kindness: “Recognize the power of your purr.” And Solitude: “Find your own square of sunshine.”

If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High


Robin Hardwick - 2013
    You may have discovered them at your local library, their soft-focus, pictures of beautiful blond twins beckoned you. They seemed sophisticated, dangerous. You probably were on the cusp of starting high school and couldn't stop reading anything and everything about what high school was like. You dreamed of boyfriends, dances, adulthood! If You Lived Here,You’d Be Perfect Right Now chronicles author and retro pop culture enthusiast Robin Hardwick rereading the entire series and document a grown woman's view of the angst and absurdity of the lives of the perfect Wakefield twins Each book of the series is revisited with equal parts sociological lens, parody, and sardonic nostalgia.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy


Adam Carolla - 2010
    It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day-to-day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten


Robert Fulghum - 1988
    The little seed in the Styrofoam cup offers a reminder about our own mortality and the delicate nature of life . . . a spider who catches (and loses) a full-grown woman in its web one fine morning teaches us about surviving catastrophe . . . the love story of Jean-Francois Pilatre and his hot-air balloon reminds us to be brave and unafraid to “fly” . . . life lessons hidden in the laundry pile . . . magical qualities found in a box of crayons . . . hide-and-seek vs. sardines—and how these games relate to the nature of God. All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten is brimming with the very stuff of life and the significance found in the smallest details.

What Would Your Character Do?


Eric Maisel - 2006
    For example:What would motivate your character to tell a lie–a big lie that may have unintended consequences?Is your character the type who would blow the whistle on a corporate cover-up or would she quietly toe the line?How would your character cope with the loss of a parent with whom he was exceptionally close?How likely would your character be to flirt with an attractive stranger in a hotel bar?Is your character the type who would drop everything–and everyone–for a spontaneous road trip?Plus, find out how to develop each scenario further using corresponding prompts and specific psychological insight into areas such as the role friendship plays in a person's mental and physical health, conflict resolution in intimate relationships, and the connection between time-impatience and free-floating hostility. With "What Would Your Character Do?," you don't have to guess at your character's responses to the important decisions and unexpected challenges he's sure to encounter in your story. Use and reuse these scenarios on each of your characters until you've got a nuanced, distinct cast that readers will never be able to forget!

Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too


Michael Showalter - 2013
    They say dogs are a man’s best friend. True! But what if that man’s girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, or mother-in-law has a cat? Is that the end for him? Is he resigned to an eternity of estrangement from this furry creature with which he shares his life partner, his favorite chair, and his sock drawer?Showalter offers hope for men everywhere in their quest to understand and love cats. In this intimate portrait of one man’s love for cats, you will learn the answers to burning questions such as: “Why are they all aloof and weird and stuff?”; “They hate me, right?”; and “Is it true that they have nine lives?” Armed with these and countless other valuable lessons, by the book’s end any guy can be on the fast track to becoming a cat’s best friend.Praise for Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too: “Deep stuff is decorated by fabulously absurd humor.”—Catster.com “So what have your cats taught you about loving yourself?” Michael Showalter: “Not a lot, I’ll be honest.”—Esquire.com “Fabulously illustrated.”—Entertainment Weekly

Be Happy: A Little Book to Help You Live a Happy Life


Monica Sheehan - 2007
    Be Happy takes up where Life's Little Instruction Book leaves off, pairing simple truths with charming, New Yorker-esque illustrations in an irresistible, pocket-sized package that's all wrapped up with a red elastic ribbon.

Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being


Alice Bradley - 2011
    Maybe you're thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe you've already got one around the house, somewhere, and you're responsible for its continued survival. You're saddled with a helpless being whom you've agreed to house and feed and love with all your heart for the rest of your life, more or less.Either way, you're confused, you're frightened, and 911 won't take your calls anymore. But don't despair! Let's Panic About Babies! is here to hold your hand and answer some important, age-old baby-related questions, including:- How can I be sure I'm pregnant? (Torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.)- Did I just pee myself? (Yes.)- What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy? (Your baby will be born with a full, lush beard.)- How can I tell if I've chosen the wrong pediatrician? (He/she can't pronounce "stethoscope.")- How do I make sure my baby loves me back? (Voodoo.)From the moment they're created until the day they steal our cars, our babies demand center stage in our lives. So join Alice and Eden as they tell you (and your lucky partner!) exactly what to think and feel and do, from morning sickness to baby's first steps. They know everything!

The Hippie Handbook: How to Tie-Dye a T-Shirt, Flash a Peace Sign, and Other Essential Skills for the Carefree Life


Chelsea Cain - 2004
    In illustrated, easy-to-follow instructions, author Chelsea Cain -- who grew up on an Iowa hippie commune -- provides practical and playful know-how for the hippie and hippie-at-heart. Learn how to milk a goat, build a compost pile, play "Kumbaya" on the guitar, teach a dog how to catch a Frisbee, and get your file from the FBI. Discover the finer points of caring for a fern, choosing a mantra, organizing a protest, naming your hippie baby, and making sand candles as holiday gifts. Including primers on cooking, dressing, driving, telling time, dancing, and celebrating your birthday in classic hippie style, and a righteous appendix of essential hippie books, movies, and slang, The Hippie Handbook knows the score. Right on.

The Big New Yorker Book of Dogs


The New Yorker - 2012
    This copious collection, beautifully illustrated in full color, features articles, fiction, humor, poems, cartoons, cover art, drafts, and drawings from the magazine’s archives. The roster of contributors includes John Cheever, Susan Orlean, Roddy Doyle, Ian Frazier, Arthur Miller, John Updike, Roald Dahl, E. B. White, A. J. Liebling, Alexandra Fuller, Jerome Groopman, Jeffrey Toobin, T. Coraghessan Boyle, Ogden Nash, Donald Barthelme, Jonathan Lethem, Mark Strand, Anne Sexton, and Cathleen Schine. Complete with a Foreword by Malcolm Gladwell and a new essay by Adam Gopnik on the immortal canines of James Thurber, this gorgeous keepsake is a gift to dog lovers everywhere from the greatest magazine in the world.

Get Thee to a Punnery: An Anthology of Intentional Assaults Upon the English Language


Richard Lederer - 1988
    . . and here are sidesplitting puns of every color, stripe and persuasion to suit every whim. Even if you don't know that your humerus is your funny bone, this is the book for you.

Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid


Denis Leary - 2008
    In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin--basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. "Sure it's just a celebrity type of thing--they only gave it to me because I'm famous," Leary explains. "But it's legal and it means I get to say I'm a doctor--just like Dr. Phil." In Why We Suck, Leary's famously smart style and sardonic wit have found their fullest and fiercest expression yet. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load, and his platinum-selling song, "Asshole." Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me, Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated television show. Why We Suck is the latest salvo from one of America's most original and biting comic satirists.

America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction


Jon StewartScott Jacobson - 2004
    But what is American democracy? In America (The Book), Jon Stewart and The Daily Show writing staff offer their insights into our unique system of government, dissecting its institutions, explaining its history and processes, and exploring the reasons why concepts like one man, one vote, government by the people, and every vote counts have become such popular urban myths. Topics include: Ancient Rome: The First Republicans; The Founding Fathers: Young, Gifted, and White; The Media: Can it Be Stopped?; and more!

Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of All World Knowledge: Formerly the Nasty Book


Terry Jones - 1976
    An illustrated compendium of humorous facts such as the recipe for oxygen tart and an explanation of how man evolved from small rocks.