A deadbeat dad gains employment as a lady-in-waiting in a fairytale bromance where every character looks exactly like someone else from John Carpenter’s The Thing. The unknowing victim of a cruel prank, a simpleton spends his entire life waiting on a park bench for the hottest girl in school. Using only his twenty-sided die and good old-fashioned D&D magic, a man must continually resurrect the neighborhood kid regularly murdered on his own front lawn. An aging slaughterhouse worker and the iconic figure from Edvard Munch’s The Scream hit the clubs every weekend in a vain attempt to get laid.These and many more absurdities await in Clown Tear Junkies, the debut collection from Douglas Hackle.

    Enter the mind of one of the seven dwarfs wrestling with his fevered sexual desire for Snow White. In another story, a cash-strapped elderly man in the future is quietly pressured to “retire” by having his brain put in a vat and live out the rest of his day in a virtual reality paradise. “Sex Fantasies at Work” follows an office drone who suspects he’s always at work and his entire home life is merely implanted memories. Read what Charles Yu calls “one of the funniest books I’ve read in years,” what Jack Pendarvis likened to Donald Barthelme by way of E.C. comics, and Joe Randazzo, the editor of The Onion, calls simply “f***ing awesome.”

    This unfinished adventure is not included in the print edition of JDatE that is coming out this fall, and right now is an online exclusive.This was part of an early draft of David Wong's totally rad novel This Book Is Full Of Spiders.

    He’s now got a dead body in his office. Carlton, Greg’s brother, desperately needs a dead body. It’s kind of related to the lion corpse that he found in his basement. This is the normal part of the story. From Jeff Strand, the author of Benjamin’s Parasite, The Sinister Mr. Corpse, and Fangboy, comes a tale that’s weird even by his standards. Facial. It’s not about what you’re thinking. Well, okay, part of it is...

    And this book is the place to start! In the official Elgen Guard General Handbook, learn everything there is to know about the Elgen Guard: What are their uniforms like? Who’s in charge? And what happens to those who break the rules?

    When Darren’s girlfriend falls foul of his temper, things quickly spiral out of control and Stevie watches on helplessly as the violent scene unfolds.Only, he’s not the only one watching; Darren’s mates are there too, and one of them is filming the action on his smartphone. Turns out, such home movies are worth a lot of money. So much so, in fact, a new business is born and ‘actresses’ must be found…Set in the poverty-stricken, sprawling outskirts of Greater Manchester, this is an extreme horror tale and a bleak, family drama. It contains strong sex, violence and the making of snuff films.

    Nobody could have expected what would happen when the story continued. Collected here is the entire trilogy of Chuck Tingle’s history making Space Raptor Butt series.SPACE RAPTOR BUTT INVASIONSpace can be a lonely place, especially when you’re stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn’t quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance’s terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all. Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual. It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it? SPACE RAPTOR BUTT REDEMPTIONAfter a year stationed on planet Zorbus, astronaut Lance Tanner and his raptor lover Orion return home to find that they are not greeted as heroes, but as villains. Unbeknownst to Lance, his space travels have been funded by the villainous Scoundrels Inc, a corporation that has deep ties to the illegal trade of unicorn tears and a destructive mining project at the core of the earth. Now Lance is on trial for a number of false charges; from having connections to the wicked Scoundrels, to being too strange for space. The opposing lawyer argues that space is only for serious astronauts, and that love between a raptor and a man is giving space travel a bad name. Lance is arguing that there’s room to be weird in space. More importantly, Lance is arguing for the idea of love itself; that just because something comes out of darkness doesn’t mean it can’t become a beacon of light. Of course, this all culminates in a hardcore dinosaur on astronaut pounding that will have your jaw on the courtroom floor! SPACE RAPTOR BUTT ASCENSIONSoon after blasting off on their mission to find refuge for the people of Earth 1 on the dinosaur inhabited Earth 2, Orion and his space raptor lover Lance find a spaceship stow away, the notorious CEO of Scounrels Inc, Vam Dox. Vam claims that his intentions are pure, but it’s hard to trust such a sad, strange man. After landing in Hugona, the planet capital of Earth 2, our heroes restrain Vam Dox and head off to secure an important diplomatic relationship with the pterodactyl president, but that’s when all hell breaks loose. Soon, Vam Dox is storming the capital with a band of rabid dogs, and Lance and Orion are wrongly taking the blame! Fortunately, Lance and Orion know that the only cure for evil this strong is to prove their love in a hardcore gay encounter at the steps of the capital building. When the smoke clears, will Vam Dox be revealed as the super villain that he claims to be, or a meek, lonesome manbaby who is starved for attention?

    A sort of new and bizarre Tomás Rivera, Rios is able to blend the familiar of the domestic with the all the wilderness of the universe. Her stories will grab you in places you didn’t know you had, take you by those places to where you’ve always wanted to go—though you never knew how to get there. Buy this book and enjoy that journey.” —Brian Allen Carr “In The Pulse between Dimensions and the Desert, Rios de la Luz’s writing is electric and alive. It grabs you and pulls you into her universe, one that is both familiar and foreign, a place where Martians find love, bad guys get their ears cut off, and time travel agents save lost children. In this innovative, heartfelt debut, de la Luz takes her place as a young author that demands to be read and watched.” —Juliet Escoria

    When Charles meets Leda, a woman who claims to have escaped from hell, he begins to suspect that the black planet is not at all what it appears to be. After Leda disappears, Charles sets out to find her with help from his stripper ex-girlfriend, the deadhead Jeanine. Along the way he will uncover the truth of the origins of the black planet, and discover the source of the mysterious voice that calls to Leda from the ocean waves.

    Alas, life is complicated in mid-1950s USA when you’re child heirs to the throne of Sword Enterprises, a corporation that has enshrined Machiavelli’s The Prince as its operating manual and whose patriarch believes, Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds, would be a swell company logo. Consider also those long, cruel winters at the Mountain Leopard boarding school for assassins in the Himalayas, or that Dad may be a supervillain, while an uncle occasionally slaughters his nephews and nieces for sport; and the space flight research division of Sword Enterprises “accidentally” sent a probe through a wormhole into outer darkness and contacted an alien god. Now a bloodthirsty cult and an equally vicious rival firm suspect the Tooms boys know something and will spare no expense, nor innocent life, to get their claws on them. Between the machinations of the disciples of black gods and good old corporate skullduggery, it’s winding up to be a hell of a summer vacation for the lads.

    Harlan Wilson returns with another ferociously mindbending collection of short fiction. Masked in absurdity, these stories reveal the horrifying and hilarious faces of everyday life. Wilson tells of egg raids, hog rippers, monk spitters, fathers who take their children to pet stores to buy them whales, sociopaths who threaten to clothesline eternity, and the simple act of the story itself becoming a means of repetitive, endless torture. Put on your goat head, hop in your hovercraft, and take a ride with a juggernaut of modern imaginative fiction.

    People are turning into clowns. Society isn’t interested in finding a cure or treating the infected as humans. But when unconventional couriers begin to harass the contaminated, and clowns start disappearing, a band of transformed coworkers set out to find answers.

    Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need.At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.

    Toby has been waiting for years to finally get his chance to see the game, but after server problems and issues with the download he only has a few minutes to do so before real life calls. And nothing seems to go right. His first glimpses of the world leave him confused, and it turns out he isn’t alone. Someone has broken into the server and changed things to suit themselves. Everyone has only one character, one life, and an impossible goal: make it to the end in a week. Everyone is mortal, and everyone is a killer. It’s open season on other players. The man who usurped the world chose Toby to be the champion of this cause, despite his lack of knowledge of game… or perhaps because of it. He is given a terrible weapon, the only one capable of setting things right. Yet he is just as mortal as everyone else. Or worse, as his character remains in the world even if he logs out. But with the future of their hard work on the line, the developers are not about to sit out of this fight. Their game, their reputation, and their very company are on the line. With Toby’s help they take up the challenge and fight to reclaim their world.

    When the contaminated atmosphere unleashes a menagerie of deadly atomic mutants, Vivian and her friends take to the interstate for a madcap cross-country road trip toward a distant sanctuary that may not, in the strictest sense of the word, exist. But can they get to safety before the toxins get to them?