There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents. But although Stein may have just concluded the biggest deal of his career, it's quite another thing to negotiate for an entire alien race. To earn his percentage this time, he's going to need all the smarts, skills, and wits he can muster.

    He just didn’t expect it to be so damn fickle.Felled by an assassin’s blade, he should be spending eternity carousing in the Hall of Avandoor. Instead, his spirit is bound to his decaying body by the enchanted sword of Brakslaagt. And unless he can hunt down the mysterious Lord Brand, who gave him the weapon so long ago, he is cursed to wander the earth forever as an undead wraith.So begins Boric’s extraordinary journey across the Six Kingdoms of Dis as a walking corpse who wants nothing more than to be disenchanted and left in peace. His is not an easy quest: along the way he is burned, riddled with arrows, and nearly blown to bits. But when he finally comes face-to-face with Lord Brand, Boric will discover that nothing - in life, in death, or in between - is exactly what it seems.

    But one fateful day, his past catches up to him...A Japanese assassin, with a cue-ball for an eye, invades the town with an army of two-foot eyeless minions who thirst for human blood. This man has two things on his mind: Where is his purple television? And who is the dead man that stole it from him?The DOOM MAGNETIC Trilogy is a fast-paced sci-fi western, packed plum-full of sex, violence, cosmic voids, coliseum-style combat, genetically-engineered mutants, breathy brain whispers, cigar smoke torture chambers, and a sea of electric television zombies.This is the weirdest book you will ever read.

    His familiar reminded him of this several times a day.He only knew three spells, and one of them was to control his allergy to armadillo dander. His attempts to summon elementals resulted in nosebleeds, and there is nothing more embarrassing than having your elemental leave the circle to get you a tissue, pat you comfortingly, and then disappear in a puff of magic. The armadillo had about wet himself laughing.He was a very minor mage.Unfortunately, he was all they had.

    Every Winter, the human population hibernates.During those bitterly cold four months, the nation is a snow-draped landscape of desolate loneliness, and devoid of human activity.Well, not quite.Your name is Charlie Worthing and it's your first season with the Winter Consuls, the committed but mildly unhinged group of misfits who are responsible for ensuring the hibernatory safe passage of the sleeping masses.You are investigating an outbreak of viral dreams which you dismiss as nonsense; nothing more than a quirky artefact borne of the sleeping mind.When the dreams start to kill people, it's unsettling.When you get the dreams too, it's weird.When they start to come true, you begin to doubt your sanity.But teasing truth from Winter is never easy: You have to avoid the Villains and their penchant for murder, kidnapping and stamp collecting, ensure you aren't eaten by Nightwalkers whose thirst for human flesh can only be satisfied by comfort food, and sidestep the increasingly less-than-mythical WinterVolk.But so long as you remember to wrap up warmly, you'll be fine.

    All you need is some luck, and maybe a customized business suit coated in cockroaches. It could work. At least that's what Dean believed before the bombs actually dropped and his suit led him to murder a Very Important Man at the foot of a blackened obelisk. Now D.C. is looking awfully empty. Life on Earth is pretty much coming to an end. All of which leaves Dean with a single question-"What now?" The answer to that question will take him on an uncanny voyage across a newly nuclear America where he must confront the problems associated with loneliness, radiation, love, and an ever-evolving cockroach suit with a mind of its own. Dean's bizarre adventures mark the last chronicle of human existence, the final entries in our species' own. Extinction Journals

    That is, until Fox 8 develops a unique skill: He teaches himself to speak "Yuman" by hiding in the bushes outside a house and listening to children's bedtime stories. The power of language fuels his abundant curiosity about people—even after "danjer" arrives in the form of a new shopping mall that cuts off his food supply, sending Fox 8 on a harrowing quest to help save his pack.

    So when a man is found dead with his body impossibly covered in a fungal rot, the local authorities know they are out of their depth.Fortunately this is Germany, where there are procedures for everything.Enter Investigator Tobias Winter, whose aim is to get in, deal with the problem, and get out with the minimum of fuss, personal danger and paperwork. With the help of frighteningly enthusiastic local cop, Vanessa Sommer, he’s quick to link the first victim to a group of ordinary middle aged men – and to realise they may have accidentally reawakened a bloody conflict from a previous century. But the rot is still spreading, literally and with the suspect list extending to people born before Frederick the Great solving the case may mean unearthing the city’s secret magical history.. . . so long as that history doesn’t kill them first.

    He may not have the most exciting job in the world, but he’s doing all right—until a fast food prank brings him to the attention of Douglas, a creepy guy with an intense violent streak.Turns out Douglas is a necromancer who raises the dead for cash and sees potential in Sam. Then Sam discovers he’s a necromancer too, but with strangely latent powers. And his worst nightmare wants to join forces . . . or else. With only a week to figure things out, Sam needs all the help he can get. Luckily he lives in Seattle, which has nearly as many paranormal types as it does coffee places. But even with newfound friends, will Sam be able to save his skin?

    Play as Hamlet, Ophelia, or King Hamlet--if you want to die on the first page and play as a ghost. It's pretty awesome! Readers can follow Yorick skull markers to stick closely to Shakespeare's plot, or go off-script and explore alternative possibilities filled with puzzles and humor.Each ending in the book is accompanied by a full-color, full-page illustration by one of the 65 most excellent artists working today, so each rereading yields new surprises and rewards. Ryan's prose is, as always, colloquial and familiar but full of clever references, vivid imagination, and only the most choice of jokes. Inventive devices like a book-within-a-book (to mirror Hamlet's play-within-a-play) take full advantage of the gamebook medium and liven up the original story for even the most disinterested of Shakespeare readers!To Be or Not to Be became a sensation when it launched: over 15,000 people backed the book in just one month, and it remains the number-one most funded publishing project ever on Kickstarter.com.To be, or not to be: that is the adventure!

    It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.Nineteen-year-old Night Vale pawn shop owner Jackie Fierro is given a paper marked "King City" by a mysterious man in a tan jacket holding a deer skin suitcase. Everything about him and his paper unsettles her, especially the fact that she can't seem to get the paper to leave her hand, and that no one who meets this man can remember anything about him. Jackie is determined to uncover the mystery of King City and the man in the tan jacket before she herself unravels.Night Vale PTA treasurer Diane Crayton's son, Josh, is moody and also a shape shifter. And lately Diane's started to see her son's father everywhere she goes, looking the same as the day he left years earlier, when they were both teenagers. Josh, looking different every time Diane sees him, shows a stronger and stronger interest in his estranged father, leading to a disaster Diane can see coming, even as she is helpless to prevent it.Diane's search to reconnect with her son and Jackie's search for her former routine life collide as they find themselves coming back to two words: "King City". It is King City that holds the key to both of their mysteries, and their futures...if they can ever find it.

    As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses,

     Over the past few thousand years, Fabio has come to hate his job. As Fate, he's in charge of assigning the fortunes and misfortunes that befall most of the human race-the 83% who keep screwing things up. Frustrated with his endless parade of drug addicts and career politicians, Fate has to watch Destiny guide her people to Nobel Peace Prizes and Super Bowl MVPs. To make matters worse, he has a five- hundred-year-old feud with Death, and his best friends are Sloth and Gluttony. And worst of all? He's fallen in love with a human. Getting involved with a human breaks Rule #1, and about ten others, setting off some cosmic-sized repercussions that could strip him of his immortality-or lead to a fate worse than death.

    

    Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands. But Rico Slade's arch nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists.As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone.RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.Praise for the book:"A one-man Expendables wrecking crew." - SUPERHERO NOVELS"Rico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope. If you're looking for some well-crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in equal degrees, this is the book for you." - THE AUSTIN POST"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." -CRACKED.COM"If you like violence. If you have a decent sense of humor. If you have ever wondered what would happen if Richard Brautigan wrote a 90's action film instead of killing himself in the winter of 1984...These are all great reasons to read Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You." - HOUSEFIRE"Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a biting piece of satire on the "unreality" of Hollywood." -THE UNDEAD RAT "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is laugh out loud funny, full of cheesy dialogue, testosterone, and can easily be read in one sitting. Buy it now or Rico Slade might rip out your fucking throat."- SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION"If Eugene Ionesco had a threesome with two reels of 80s action movies, the baby would be this book. If you like ridiculous humor with the hands-down wildest action you will ever read, this is your book." - ZOMBIEBLOODFIGHTS