The Ducks In The Bathroom Are Not Mine: A decade of procrastination 2007 - 2017


David Thorne - 2017
     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

Pokojnik


Branislav Nušić - 1982
    Pavle leaves town to think things over. Weeks later, a deformed corpse is found washed up on the banks of the Danube and is identifed to be that of Pavle. The case is judged a suicide. Three years later, Pavle, now "the deceased," unexpectedly returns. He discovers that his heirs have not only plundered his estate, but also refuse to recognize him as being "legally" alive, and they unite to keep him "dead" to maintain the status quo. This is the first English translation of a masterful and darkly comic play that will enter its rightful place as a world classic. The fluid and natural translation lends itself to theatrical production. Comically absurd, filled with existential angst, it was ahead of its time in 1937. At once vaudevillian and modernist, it is distinguished by clever plotting and stinging dialogue. The play stands as a lasting and caustic satire of human greed, strangely consonant with todays society.

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life


Geoff Tibballs - 2011
    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

Khushwant Singh's Joke Book III


Khushwant Singh - 1992
    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

Won't You Come Home, Billy Bob Bailey?


Lewis Grizzard - 1980
    The columnist-author sheds light on some of the important matters of life, such as the care of Willie Nelson albums and the problems of finding clean underwear when you live alone

MTV's Beavis and Butthead's Ensucklopedia


Mike Judge - 1994
    Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

Mindsploitation: Asinine Assignments for the Online Homework Cheating Industry


Vernon Chatman - 2013
    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

Ruminations on College Life


Aaron Karo - 2002
     It took college freshman Aaron Karo only one week to realize that college was a joke -- an especially funny one that he could share with his friends in a regular email newsletter about life on campus. By his senior year, Ruminations on College Life had become an international phenomenon. Now, for the first time in print, here is the best of the original ezine, previously unpublished material, and brand new introductions to each section by the author. Share in the absurdity and insanity of the college experience with Karo as you read his outrageous inside account of scheming students, crazy professors, confused parents, and rowdy frat boys. Perfect for anyone who is destined for college, currently surviving it, or already a veteran, this book is a cult classic readers can enjoy alone or read out loud at their next party for tons of laughs.

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly


Joseph Minton Amann - 2006
    He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.

The World's Stupidest Signs


Bryony Evens - 2000
    On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.

How to Attract the Wombat


Will Cuppy - 1935
    From his perch as a staff writer at The New Yorker, Cuppy observed the world and found a great deal that annoyed him. This collection of essays on animals includes "Birds Who Can't Even Fly," "Optional Insects," "Octopuses and Those Things", and "How to Swat a Fly," which codifies the essentials in ten hilarious principles. And three essays on wombats. Perfect reading for the perplexed, befuddled, and perpetually irritated.

"The Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Is Beer" And Other Manly Insights From Dave Barry


Dave Barry - 2001
    At higher levels, testosterone causes destructive male behavior, the two most terrible kinds being: 1. War. 2. Do-it-yourself projects.

Does Anybody Have a Problem With That? The Best of Politically Incorrect


Bill Maher - 1996
    Except for the time Reagan went to the Vietnam Memorial and shouted, Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Heidi Fleiss and Dr. Kevorkian [are] two visionaries of American social life, the queen and king of coming and going.The Packwood diaries must be pretty racy, because most of the people who read them apparently cannot wait to get to the bottom of the next page. Which, of course, was Packwood's problem, too."Politically Incorrect is almost single-handedly reviving political satire. . . . [It] has pulled off the rare trick of being irreverent without being irrelevant."The New York Times"A funny collection of jibes, jokes and tidbits from his hilarious late-night show."Playboy

Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

Global Village Idiot: Dubya, Dunces, and One Last Word Before You Vote


John O'Farrell - 2001
    “Just when we thought the lawlessness in Iraq was over,” O’Farrell observes, “even more blatant incidents of looting have begun. With handkerchiefs masking their faces, two rioters roughly the height of George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld kicked in the gates of the largest oilfield and grabbed the keys of the gasoline trucks. ‘Yee-haw! It’s all ours! Millions of barrels of the stuff’ they laughed. ‘Yup!’ added the leader ‘ and this mask guarantees my anonymousinity!’ So after all these years there really is such a person as the Thief of Baghdad. Except strangely his accent sounded vaguely Texan.”A writer for the groundbreaking television show Spitting Image and contributor to the screenplay for the hit movie Chicken Run, O’Farrell meticulously researched his conclusions “by spending five minutes on the internet and then giving up.” And while O’Farrell’s sharpest barbs and stingers have often been written to come out of the mouths of grotesque puppets and Claymation chickens, this time around he keeps the best lines for himself: ‘‘With the election of the 43rd President of the United States, the global village is complete,” O’Farrell writes. “’It has its own global village idiot.’”