Book picks similar to
Beyond Empathy: A Therapy of Contact-In Relationships by Richard G. Erskine


psychology
counselling
psychology-counseling-the-mind
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Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
     If you were brought up in the Western world, you’ve been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We’ll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you’re young and just starting to look for a partner, good news—the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you’re older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They’re married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, “why is this one still available?”—there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it’s far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too.

Brilliant Positive Thinking: Transform Your Outlook and Face the Future with Confidence and Optimism


Sue Hadfield - 2011
    Brilliant Positive Thinking will show you how to reap the benefits of positive thinking, giving you the necessary the tools to make the most of your life, whatever you have experienced.Includes: - Information on transforming negative feelings to positive feelings in simple steps- Guidance on how to deal with negative people and lessening their influence on you- Identifying your emotional 'triggers' and learning to control them

Answer to Job


C.G. Jung - 1952
    The unique importance of his work lies rather in his discovery and treatment of religious, or potentially religious, factors in his investigation into the unconscious as a whole and in his general therapeutic practice. In Answer to Job, first published in Zurich in 1952, Jung employs the familiar language of theological discourse. Such terms as "God," "wisdom," and "evil" are the touchstones of his argument. And yet, Answer to Job, perhaps Jung's most controversial work, is not an essay in theology as much as it is an examination of the symbolic role that theological concepts play in a person's psychic life.

We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love


Robert A. Johnson - 1945
    

Inside the Criminal Mind


Stanton E. Samenow - 1984
    Now, with the benefit of twenty years' worth of additional knowledge and insight, Stanton Samenow offers a completely updated edition of his classic work, including fresh perceptions into crimes in the spotlight today, from stalking and domestic violence to white-collar crime and political terrorism. Dr. Samenow's three decades of working with criminals have reaffirmed his argument that factors such as poverty, divorce, and media violence do not cause criminality. Rather, as Samenow documents here, all criminals share a particular mind-set--often evident in childhood--that is disturbingly different from that of a responsible citizen. While new types of crime have grown more prevalent, or at least more visible to the public eye--from spousal abuse to school shootings--little has changed in terms of our approach to dealing with crime. Rehabilitation programs based on the assumption that society is more to blame for crime than the criminal, an assumption for which a causal link has yet to be established, have proved to be grossly inadequate. Crime continues to invade every aspect of our lives, criminal court dockets and prisons are oppressively overcrowded and expensive, and recidivism rates continue to escalate.To embark on a truly corrective program, we must begin with the clear understanding that the criminal chooses crime; he chooses to reject society long before society rejects him. The criminal values people only to the extent that he can use them for his own self-serving ends; he does not justify his actions to himself. Only by "habilitating" the criminal, so that he sees himself realistically and develops responsible patterns of thought, can we change his behavior. It is vital that we know who the criminal is and how and why he acts differently from responsible citizens. From that understanding can come reasonable, compassionate, and effective solutions.

Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts


Claude Steiner - 1974
    This theory was further developed in Steiner’s book Games Alcoholics Play. Dr. Berne, in What Do You Say After You Say Hello?, acknowledged Steiner’s important role in the analysis of “life scripts” which we choose at an early age and which rule every detail of our lives until our death.In Scripts People Live, Steiner expands upon this belief to show that people are innately healthy but develop a pattern early in life based upon negative or positive influences of those around them. Thus children decide, however unconsciously, whether they will be happy or depressed, winners or failures, strong or dependent, and having decided, they spend the rest of their lives making the decision come true. For those who choose a negative script, the consequences can be disastrous unless they make a conscious decision to change.Steiner’s classic in psychological theory, with a new foreword by the author, offers a hopeful and practical analysis so that we all may rewrite our life scripts and lead more meaningful and fulfilling lives.

Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person: Improving Outcomes for That Minority of People Who Are the Majority of Clients


Elaine N. Aron - 2010
    Elaine Aron's newest book, Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person, redefines the term "highly sensitive" for the professional researcher and practitioner. She dispels common misconceptions about the relationship between sensitivity and other personality traits, such as introversion and shyness, and further defines the trait for the benefit of both the clinician and patient. Readers will learn to assess for the trait, distinguish it from clinical diagnoses such as panic disorder or avoidant personality disorder, understand how sensitivity may change the presentation of a problem such as depression or shyness, and generally inform, validate, and improve the quality of life for these clients. She pays particular attention to self-esteem issues and helping patients separate effects of their innate temperament from problems due to their personal learning histories. Dr. Aron keeps both patient and practitioner in mind as she suggests ways to adapt treatment for highly sensitive persons and how to deal with the typical issues that arise. Three appendices provide the HSP Scale, a summary of the extensive research on this innate trait, and its relation to DSM diagnoses. Through this helpful guide, therapists will see a marked improvement in their ability to assist highly sensitive clients.

The Falsification of History: Our Distorted Reality


John Hamer - 2012
    This has been perpetrated by the systematic, ongoing falsification of history in much the same way as perpetrated by the powers that be in the suspiciously prophetic novel ‘1984’, by George Orwell. We have all been deceived on a monumental scale by a tiny clique of people who by their own birthright and bloodlines absolutely believe that they have the divine right to rule over us by whatever method best suits their purposes. In order to achieve this they have lied, deceived, murdered and even committed genocide down the millennia in an attempt to bring their ultimate goal to fruition. Find out about the use of drugs, vaccinations, micro-chipping, mind control, trans-humanism and 24/7 distractions such as non-stop sports, entertainments and the invasive ‘celebrity culture’ that attempts to pervade our whole lives.

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love


Sue Johnson - 2008
    In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

The Psycho-Analysis of Children


Melanie Klein - 1932
    

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle


Mark Wolynn - 2016
    Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.   As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited


Sam Vaknin - 1999
    It contains new insights and an organized methodological framework. The first part of the book comprises more than 100 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.What is a personality disorder? When the personality is rigid to the point of being unable to change in reaction to changing circumstances - we say that it is disordered. Such a person takes behavioral, emotional, and cognitive cues exclusively from others. His inner world is, so to speak, vacated. His True Self is dilapidated and dysfunctional. Instead he has a tyrannical and delusional False Self. Such a person is incapable of loving and of living. He cannot love others because he cannot love himself. He loves his reflection, his surrogate self. And he is incapable of living because life is a struggle towards, a striving, a drive at something. In other words: life is change. He who cannot change cannot live.The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The Narcissist does not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation, the Narcissist does not "love" himself in any true sense of the word.He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an image that he projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a word, to assure him that he exists. Otherwise, the narcissist feels, they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions.The posting of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Re-Visited on the Web has elicited a flood of excited, sad and heart rending responses, mostly from victims of Narcissists but also from people suffering from the NPD. This is a true picture of the resulting correspondence with them.This book is not intended to please or to entertain. NPD is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which affects not only the Narcissist. It infects and forever changes people who are in daily contact with the Narcissist. In other words: it is contagious. It is my contention that Narcissism is the mental epidemic of the twentieth century, a plague to be fought by all means.This tome is my contribution to minimizing the damages of this disorder.

The Anxious Truth : A Step-By-Step Guide To Understanding and Overcoming Panic, Anxiety, and Agoraphobia


Drew Linsalata - 2020
    At 70,000 words and 450 pages, The Anxious Truth goes well beyond just telling that that you'll get better. It actually shows you exactly how! You're anxious all the time, experiencing panic attacks over and over, and maybe afraid to leave your house or to be left alone for even a few minutes. You are avoiding simple things like driving, eating in restaurants, attending family functions, or going to the supermarket. You are terrified of the next wave of anxiety or the next panic attack. Your anxiety problems are ruining your relationships, your family life, and your career. Your anxiety problems have you afraid, confused, lost, and feeling hopeless. How did you get here? What went wrong? You've tried so many things, but nothing has cured your anxiety? What can you do now?This book, written by a former anxiety sufferer, best-selling author of "An Anxiety Story", and host of The Anxious Truth podcast will walk you through exactly how you got to where you are today, why you are not broken or ill, and what the true nature of your anxiety disorder is. Next, the book will walk you through what it takes to solve your anxiety problems, how to make an anxiety recovery plan, then how to correctly execute that plan.The Anxious Truth isn't always what you want to hear, but it's what you NEED to hear in order to solve this problem once and for all and move toward the life you so desperately want. Based firmly on the principles of cognitive behavioral therapies that have been shown over decades to be most effective in treating anxiety problems, the Anxious Truth will teach you how to move past your anxiety symptoms, past endless digging for hidden "root causes", and into an action oriented plan that will help your brain un-learn the bad reaction and fear habits that have gotten you into this predicament. The Anxious Truth will take the cognitive mechanism that got you into a corner, throw it in reverse, and use it to your advantage, backing you out of this jam and into a life free from irrational fear and needless avoidance.More than just a book, The Anxious Truth goes hand-in-hand with The Anxious Truth podcast (theanxioustruth.com) and the growing and vibrant social media community surrounding it. Read the book, listen to five years worth of free podcasts chock full of helpful advice and information, and join a large online community of fellow anxiety sufferers that are done talking about this problem and ready to actually take action to solve it. Change is possible. No matter how long you've suffered with your anxiety issues, you can get better. The Anxious Truth will tell you what you need to hear and will arm you with the information, understanding, and skills you need to get the job done.Let's do this together!

Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match


Helen Fisher - 2009
    Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type. Based on entirely new research—including a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countries—Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature’s chemistry to find and keep your life partner.

Love and Awakening: Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship


John Welwood - 1996
    Combining the practical advice of Harville Hendrix with the spiritual guidance of Thomas Moore, it shows couples how their relationships can help them discover their sacred selves in such chapters as "The Power of Truth-Telling", "The Inner Marriage", "Men In Relationship" and "Soulwork and Sacred Combat". Along the way, it provides a wealth of practical guidance on how to deal with difficult problems and includes lively dialogues from Welwood's workshops that dynamically illustrate his core ideas. Men and women are searching for deeper meaning and purpose in their everyday lives and relationships. Love and Awakening fills this need. It is a book couples will want to read together.