And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    He thought he understood the way the world worked, but now, as a sacrificial lamb of the credit crunch he finds himself drifting... drifting into the clutches of the ever resourceful Pete who could find the angle in a Fairy Liquid bubble... and into the arms of the enigmatic hippy girl, Astrid, who’s about to introduce Tony to rabbits, magic caves and the joys of mushrooms. eBook of the Month Club describes ‘The Return of the Hippy’ as “The funniest and most heart warming novel of the year.”

    Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..

    On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    

    And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…

    Welcome to the ER. This book is not about life and death struggles. This book is the polar opposite. It is about the absolute, over the top insanity that I have witnessed during my time in the ER. This book is the untold, unseen, and unshared rants and raves of an ER nurse, who has been slowly being driven mad by his patients. I want you, the reader to step into my scrubs, see this bizarre world through my eyes, and understand that once you stop laughing in the ER, it's time to quit. This book is the stupid stories that I still don’t believe. It’s the codes gone crazy. It’s the “I can’t believe you said that.” It’s a testament to everything an ER nurse puts up with on a day in and day out basis that most people don’t know exists. It makes Scrubs, E.R., House, and all the other medical shows look like fairy tales. As an ER nurse, I want to let the world know that when we pull that curtain and leave the room, we are laughing because let’s face it, it’s funny. Please from this moment forward stop and close this book if you think you are about to read about nursing at it’s finest. This is not Florence Nightingale’s kind of nursing; this is the grit, spit, vomit and s#!t that comes with the job I love/hate so much.

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    He aspires to be like him in every way and moulds his whole personality around armed robbery so that this is all he lives for. He holds normal working people (or plebs, as he calls them) in contempt and tries to ape Gavin without truly understanding what it is that makes him tick. When Gavin gets sentenced to 15 years in prison, Chris steps into his boots and tries to take over as head of a small crew of blaggers. He complicates things further by having an affair with Heather, Gavin's wife, while neglecting his own treacherous, money-grabbing partner, Debbie. A mistake that could cost him his life.

    We have your favourite table ready and waiting and a selection of tasty and unusual dishes for your delectation and delight (but do bear in mind that the kitchen closes shortly as the Chef needs to go to his second job, rodding out blocked sewers). We have a few choice 'nostalgedy' stories for Starters, some meatier ones for your Mains, a selection of 'curmudgeonly rants' or keen observations (you take your choice) for Dessert, and something unspeakable to go with your Coffee and Mints.Philip Whiteland tickles your fancy (it's not a crime yet) once again with this compilation of stories, often with a food-based theme, from today and yesterday. Pull up a chair and tuck in!

    He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.

    Experience what it's like to drive an Emergency Vehicle through traffic. Learn how not to deliver a baby; how to fake unconsciousness; fun ways to chop your fingers off and why controlling your imagination is so crucial, when you find yourself alone in a morgue refrigerator, and the lights go out.Stare death in the face and live to tell about it at the hands of vomiting children, and old women who spit food.Laughter helps the mind, heals the body and is a critical survival tool for all who deal with death, dying and disaster up close. Emergency Laughter shows that it’s OK to laugh at yourself and the world around you. Mike Cyra spent twenty years working in Emergency Medicine and Surgery as a Surgical Technologist, an Emergency Medical Technician on ambulances, a Bering Sea Medic and an instructor of Basic Life Support and Maritime Emergency Medicine.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.