Clovenhoof's Diary: December


Heide Goody - 2019
     Jeremy Clovenhoof has spent six years living the quiet life after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he’s partying hard because it’s the school holidays. Whether it’s his increasingly complex girlfriend situation, his creative attempts at Christmas on a budget or an over-decorated tree that will take things very personally, Clovenhoof will make this a Christmas for everybody to remember. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

That Hathaway Girl


Kate Harper - 2016
    The social whirl may be dizzying but there are pitfalls aplenty and Millie knows that the whole world is just waiting for her to do something scandalous. She's just that sort of girl. Fortunately, there are people who need rescuing, days that need saving and dark and brooding barons that need taking down a peg or two, so life isn't utterly dreary. Can she do the impossible and come through unscathed? Or will disaster finally catch her up? Whatever happens, Millie is determined to do things on her terms and if that means tackling the impossible; well, she's just the kind of girl who likes a challenge! Author note... well, putting up a book where the first two pages missed editorial changes was a bit of a clunker, but I have remedied (my profound apologies to anybody who bought the one with the dodgy first pages). I am happy to send a - relatively - flawless copy to anybody who has already purchased. Please email me at kate.l.deans@gmail.com. Gosh, I'm a goose!

Monty Python's Spamalot: 2005 Tony Award Winner - Best Musical


Eric Idle - 2005
    Vocal selections from the uproarious Broadway production that won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2005. Songs include: All for One * Always Look on the Bright Side of Life * Brave Sir Robin * Come with Me * Find Your Grail * Fisch Schlapping Dance * He Is Not Dead Yet * His Name Is Lancelot * I'm All Alone * King Arthur's Song * Knights of the Round Table * Laker Girls Cheer * Monks Chant * Run Away! * The Song That Goes Like This * Whatever Happened to My Part? * Where Are You? * You Won't Succeed on Broadway. Includes five pages of color photos.

Confusions


Alan Ayckbourn - 1974
    Ayckbourn's series of plays for 4-5 actors typify his black comedies of human behaviour. The plays are alternately naturalistic, stylised and farcical, but underlying each is the problem of loneliness. The Mother Figure shows a mother unable to escape from baby talk; in The Drinking Companion, an absentee husband attempts seduction without success; in Between Mouthfuls, a waiter oversees a fraught dinner encounter. A garden party gets out of hand in Gosforth's Fete, whilst A Talk in the Park is a revue style curtain call piece for the five actors. Whether the comedies concern marital conflict, infidelity or motherhood and take place on a park bench or at a village fete, the characters are familiar and their cries for help instantly recognisable. Principally he is respected as a radical re-inventor of form - Dominic Dromgoole.

Time Flies and Other Short Plays


David Ives - 2001
    Zany, thought-provoking, and always original, this anthology brings together all the one-acts from the Off-Broadway hit Mere Mortals and from the all-new Lives of the Saints, as well as several new and uncollected plays, including Bolero, Arabian Nights (which premiered at the celebrated Humana Festival in Louisville), The Green Hill, and Captive Audience.

Arsenic and Old Lace


Joseph Kesselring - 1939
    

Free Roll


Brandt Tobler - 2017
    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.

Choir


Gareth Malone - 2012
    The hugely popular Gareth Malone recounts the heart-warming stories and transformations behind the award-winning BBC2 series The Choir

The Moors


Jen Silverman - 2017
    The arrival of a hapless governess and a moor-hen set all three on a strange and dangerous path. The Moors is a dark comedy about love, desperation, and visibility.1 M, 5 F.

Unity (1918)


Kevin Kerr - 2002
    This phenomenon in effect brought the terror, the panic, the horror and the sense of helplessness of the Great War home with the returning soldiers—more people died of this epidemic than had been killed in battle throughout the armed conflict.As fear of the dreaded flu begins to fill the town of Unity with paranoia, drastic measures are taken. The town is quarantined in an attempt to keep the illness out. Trains are forbidden to stop, no one can enter, and the borders are sealed. Mail from overseas, feared to be carrying the deadly virus, is gathered and then burned. But when the disease descends upon the town despite their precautions, the citizens begin to turn on each other as they attempt to find a scapegoat for the crisis.Very little has been written about this worldwide calamity which, more than the war itself, destroyed forever the genteel and naive presumptions of European colonial society at the beginning of the twentieth century. Kevin Kerr offers audiences not only an epic chronicle of this forgotten chapter of Canadian history, but a chilling preview of the beginnings of our own new century.The play is a gothic romance, filled with dark comedy and the desperate embrace of life at the edge of death.

We're All A Mess, It's OK: A collection of funny essays and one-liners about the struggles of everyday life


Amy Lyle - 2018
    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

Lettice and Lovage: A Comedy


Peter Shaffer - 1987
    As a tour guide at Fustian House, one of the least stately of London's stately homes, she theatrically embellishes its historical past, ultimately coming up on the radar of Lotte Schon, an inspector from the Preservation Trust. Neither impressed or entertained by Lettice's freewheeling history lessons, Schon fires her. Not one however, to go without a fight, Lettice engages the stoic, conventionial Lotte in battle to the death of all that is sacred to the Empire and the crown.

The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940


John Bishop - 1998
    As the composer, lyricist, actors and director prepare their performance, and a blizzard cuts off any possible retreat, bodies start to drop in plain sight, knives spring out of nowhere, masked figures drag their victims behind swiveling bookcases, and accusing fingers point in all directions. However, and with no thanks to the bumbling police inspector who snowshoes in to investigate, the mystery is solved in the nick of time and the "Slasher" unmasked-but not before the audience has been treated to a sidesplitting good time and a generous serving of the author's biting, satiric and refreshingly irreverent wit.

Never Swim Alone and This is a Play


Daniel MacIvor - 1997
    [MacIvor is a writer with an angular sense of humour and an uncommon knack for probing basic elements and truths of human behaviour." ?Vit Wagner, Toronto StarThis Is a Play is a hilarious postmodern romp through the interior lives of actors in a bad play."Ingenious, whimsical, a lyrical lunacy in the writing, This Is A Play is a theatre experience comedy you might associate with Tom Stoppard." ?Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail

Butterflies Are Free


Leonard Gershe - 1969
    Jill's a kooky, fun-loving actress who refuses to be tied down.Don's a lovable, happy-go-lucky singer who is trying to make it on his own.How they fall in love - almost lose each other - and then learn the real meaning of love - is a funny, touching story of today.