What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs


Jamie Coleman - 2018
    Better still, imagine if it could express its innermost feelings in poetic form. This hilarious, insightful book confirms what we've all long suspected - that inside every dog is the soul of a poet. From retrieving sticks to rivalry with cats; from cold winter walks to endlessly chasing tennis balls, no stone of a dog's life is left unturned.With a delightful photo alongside every haiku, this is the perfect gift for any dog lover.

Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America


Leslie Knope - 2011
    The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history—like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America. Praise for Pawnee: "Carrying this book around is a good way of picking up girls with glasses." —Tom Haverford "I have read over four books, and this is by far the one that has me in it the most." —Andy Dwyer "Literally the greatest endeavor of human creativity in the history of mankind." —Chris Traeger

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons from the Dog


Amy Newmark - 2017
     What do we learn from our dogs? Everything. Our dogs make us better people. If we rescued them, they rescue us back. If we’re sad, they comfort us. If we need to have more fun, they show us how. They are our protectors, our role models, and our best friends. You’ll laugh a lot, tear up at times, and nod your head in recognition as you read these tales about the wonderful experience of sharing life with a dog. Life lessons from our dogs come in many forms, from the hilarious to the heroic. You’ll enjoy a wide variety in these 101 entertaining stories.

Wreck This Journal


Keri Smith - 2007
    Acclaimed illustrator Keri Smith encourages journalers to engage in "destructive" acts-poking holes through pages, adding photos and defacing them, painting with coffee, and more-in order to experience the true creative process. Readers discover a new way of art and journal making-and new ways to escape the fear of the blank page and fully engage in the creative process.

Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good


Kevin Smith - 2012
    He makes movies, writes comics, owns a store, and now he s built a podcasting empire with his friends and family, including a wife who s way out of his league. So here s some tough shit: Kevin Smith has cracked the code. Or, he s just cracked. "Tough Sh*t" is the dirty business that Kevin has been digesting for 41 years and now, he s ready to put it in "your" hands. Smear this shit all over yourself, because this is your blueprint (or brownprint) for success. Kev takes you through some big moments in his life to help you live "your" days in as Gretzky a fashion as you can: going where the puck is "gonna" be. Read all about how a zero like Smith managed to make ten movies with no discernible talent, and how when he had everything he thought he d ever want, he decided to blow up his own career. Along the way, Kev shares stories about folks who inspired him (like George Carlin), folks who befuddled him (like Bruce Willis), and folks who let him jerk off onto their legs (like his beloved wife, Jen).So make this your daily reader. Hell, read it on the toilet if you want. Just make sure you grab the bowl and push, because you re about to take one "Tough Sh*t."

The Dangerous Book for Dogs: A Parody


Rex & Sparky - 2007
    It also contains portraits of noble dogs throughout history, the mysteries of cats and humans, and everything else your dog ever wanted to know but was afraid to ask–like how to make toys out of human's household items, or how to escape from a humiliating reindeer costume.Generously illustrated with drawings by cartoonist Emily Flake, this hilarious parody is for good dogs, bad dogs, and the millions of people who love them.Rex and Sparky wrote this parody without authorization (because they are dogs and they do what they want.)

The Aggretsuko Guide to Office Life


Sanrio - 2018
    Aggretsuko is all the RAGE. Sanrio's newest character is a 25-year-old red panda with her own Netflix show, and a stressful work life that's all too relatable. Featuring art from the popular videos and Sanrio products combined with sidebars and prescriptive tips and advice for handling tricky workplace situations, this is a humorous and gifty book. - The first character Sanrio created specifically for adults, Aggretsuko is both a cute, endearing red panda just going about her life, and the fed up office worker who's tired of being pushed around. - In this helpful handbook, Aggretsuko offers tips on how to deal with annual holiday parties, avoid colleagues after hours, circumvent oversharing coworkers, and most importantly–how to RAGE (preferably in heavy-metal karaoke sessions). - A must-have for anyone who needs help staying sane from 9 to 5.Fans of Aggretuko Reversible Journal will love The Aggretsuko Guide To Office LifeThis book is perfect for: - Women 18-34 - Millennials - Sanrio fans - Comic fans - Internet comic enthusiasts - Animal lovers - Fans of Japanese pop culture ©'18 SANRIO CO., LTD. Used Under License.

How to Live with a Neurotic Dog


Stephen Baker - 1960
    Try looking at the world through your dog's big melting brown eyes. If your dog is neurotic (and what dog isn't these days?), consider these helpful pointers:• Don't interrupt your dog's naps—remember, he needs your bed far more than you do.• Don't force your dog to play fetch just because you feel like it—keep in mind his busy schedule too.• Never bark orders at your dog. "Please" and "thank you" work wonders with the neurotic dog.• Give your dog a canine personality quiz—it's the first step before starting him on full-fledged psychoanalysis.• If all else fails, feed him!Stephen Baker's delightful HOW TO LIVE WITH A NEUROTIC DOG is sure to have both you and your canine companion rolling on the floor and begging for more.

What Now: MUTTS VII


Patrick McDonnell - 2001
    As usual, the endearing pair can be counted on for laughs and charming adventures. In this collection, Mooch professes his love . . . for a little pink sock."How can I take you seriously with a little pink sock in your mouth?" asks Earl."This from a guy who wears a 'Shnoopy' collar," retorts Mooch.Mooch's affection for his sock is so deep, he sings little songs about it. But the love affair comes to an abrupt end when his pal Earl buries it to try to end the obsession. Fortunately for Mooch, socks come in pairs, and he's soon reunited with "its twin sister."  Earl and Mooch put their comic spin on a wide range of subjects, from napping and poetry to summer vacations and Christmas anticipations. Interspersed with its charming humor are more weighty messages on issues important to McDonnell, such as animal shelters, saving our endangered species, and other animal-protection topics.What Now? delivers creative style and the charm of yesteryear unlike any other strip on the funny pages today.

The Grumpy Guide to Life: Observations from Grumpy Cat


Grumpy Cat - 2014
    Following the success of her New York Times bestselling debut, everyone's favorite disgruntled feline is back with this demotivational guide to everyday life, love, friendship, and more. Featuring many new photos of Grumpy Cat's famous frown and packed with uninspiring observations, The Grumpy Guide to Life will help anyone get in touch with their inner grouch.

Good Dog. Stay.


Anna Quindlen - 2007
    With her trademark wisdom and humor, Quindlen reflects on how her life has unfolded in tandem with Beau’s, and on the lessons she’s learned by watching him: to roll with the punches, to take things as they come, to measure herself not in terms of the past or the future but of the present, to raise her nose in the air from time to time and, at least metaphorically, holler, “I smell bacon!”Of the dog that once possessed a catcher’s mitt of a mouth, Quindlen reminisces, “there came a time when a scrap thrown in his direction usually bounced unseen off his head. Yet put a pork roast in the oven, and the guy still breathed as audibly as an obscene caller. The eyes and ears may have gone, but the nose was eternal. And the tail. The tail still wagged, albeit at half-staff. When it stops, I thought more than once, then we’ll know.”Heartening and bittersweet, Good Dog. Stay. honors the life of a cherished and loyal friend and offers us a valuable lesson on our four-legged family members: Sometimes an old dog can teach us new tricks.

The Cat Manual


Michael Ray Taylor - 2012
    The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

Amazing Gracie: A Dog's Tale


Dan Dye - 2000
    Amid the frenzied barking and prancing of a house full of Great Danes, one pup was shivering in the corner. Gracie. But when Dan Dye reached her, she struggled to her feet like a clumsy foal, raised her forehead to his, and announced, as clearly as if she had actually spoken the words, You know I'm the one. Now get me outta here! By turns funny, moving, tender, and inspiring, Gracie's tale is a treat for every dog lover. There is Gracie's first morning, racing around Dan in the snowy yard. Gracie's first determination to prove to her step-sisters, Dottie the Dalmatian and Sarah the Black Lab, that she's one of the girls. Gracie's defiant romance with a pint-size charmer named Byron, a Boston Terrier from the wrong side of the fence. Then born of necessity, the eureka moment: When Gracie's delicate constitution starts turning into anorexia, Dan teaches himself how to cook, and in three days is baking her the cookies that will spur her appetite, launch Three Dog Bakery, and transform their lives forever. Courage. Compassion. Kindness. Soul. Tenacity. And joy, above all, joy. These qualities Gracie possessed in abundance, and shared with everyone, human or canine, who had the good fortune to cross her path.

Texts From Mittens: A Cat Who Has an Unlimited Data Plan...and Isn't Afraid to Use It


Angie Bailey - 2015
    Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil.Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats."Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy"Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed"We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los AngelesCome home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants!

Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know


Alexandra Horowitz - 2009
    The answers will surprise and delight you as Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist, explains how dogs perceive their daily worlds, each other, and that other quirky animal, the human.Temple Grandin meets Stephen Pinker in this engaging and informative look at what goes on inside the minds of dogs—from a cognitive scientist with a background at The New Yorker.With more than 52 million pet dogs in America today, it’s clear we are a nation of unabashed dog-lovers. Yet the relationship between dogs and humans remains a fascinating mystery, as no one really knows what goes on in the canine mind. Now, in Inside of a Dog, Alexandra Horowitz fuses her perspectives as both scientist and dog-owner to deliver a fresh look at the world of dogs—as seen from the animal’s point of view. Inspired by her years of living with her own dog, Pumpernickel, who was a constant source of delight and mystery, Horowitz’s mind became filled with questions and ideas. In crisp, clear prose, she draws on her research in the field of dog cognition to give readers a sense of a dog’s perceptual and cognitive abilities—and paints a picture of what the canine experience is like. Horowitz’s own scientific journey, and the insights she uncovered, allowed her to understand her dog better and appreciate her more.Containing up-to-the minute research and providing many moments of dog-behavior recognition, this lively and absorbing book helps dog owners to see their best friend’s behavior in a different, and revealing light, allowing them to understand their pets and enjoy their company even more.