Piddles the Penguin


Otto Fishblanket - 2013
    

Gravity Falls: The second summer (Gravity Falls Fan-Fiction | A Second Summer Book 1)


Colin Cabana - 2017
    Will Dipper and Mabel's summer be ruined? Find out in this fan novel as well as Mystery #1, The Axolotl, a demon who wants to revive Bill Cipher!

Jessica Christ Volume 1: The Early Years


H. Claire Taylor - 2017
    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…

Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way


Mark Richards - 2018
    Now comes the sequel… ‘Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way’ picks up where Mark and Alex left off two years ago and sees them complete the last 100 miles of the Pennine Way. It’s a walk that tests them to their limits (well, one of them…) as they come close to exhaustion, even closer to being eaten alive and – armed only with a pair of shorts and a cup of tea – face-to-face with an assassin. …And, of course, they meet the inevitable cast of ‘characters.’ Barefoot Jimmy, Mr & Mrs Mad Eye, Lonesome Pete and ‘Theresa May.’ But there’s a serious side to the walk as well. It’s two years since they were last on the Pennine Way. They’re both two years older: how has their father/son relationship changed? Who’s really in charge this time? ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way’ has been a consistent bestseller with over 130 5* reviews on Amazon. “My partner sent me to read in the spare room. All he could hear was me laughing! Would recommend this book to everyone, walkers or not.” ‘Return to the Pennine Way’ will make you laugh, smile and shed the occasional tear. You’ll be on the journey with Mark and Alex – and you won’t want it to end.

Turned Out by a Savage


Shameka Jones - 2017
     Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.

Mistaken Identity (Jack Dillon Dublin Tales Book 8)


Mike Faricy - 2019
    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

Hamsters: The Essential Guide to Ownership, Care, & Training For Your Pet


Kate H. Pellham - 2015
    Pellham **Have you been thinking about getting a pet hamster? Are you kids constantly begging you for a pet but you aren’t sure whether it’s a smart decision? Do you already own a hamster but want to learn more about how to care for it properly?Then this complete guide to hamster care is exactly what you are looking for. It will provide you with all the information you need to make the right decision. Whether you are considering buying a hamster or you already own one, this guide is the perfect resource to help you make the smartest decisions when it comes to owning a hamster as a pet.For example, did you know that not all hamsters are the same? There are more than 25 different species of hamster in the world! Only 5 of them have been domesticated to be kept as pets. But even among those 5, there are some important differences that you need to know when making your decision to get a hamster.This guide contains a full chapter that thoroughly describes each of these 5 species—where they are native to, what they look like, what their personality is like, and more. This will help you decide not only whether to get a hamster or not but which specific species of hamster is right for you!Owning a pet can be a huge responsibility. You’re taking care of a living creature, after all. Use this guide to make sure you are ready to take on all the responsibilities that come with owning a pet hamster. You can make sure that your hamster is happy, healthy, and safe by following the simple instructions for hamster care in this book. Consider all the pros and cons so that you can make the right choices! Learn about: the physical & behavioral characteristics of all 5 species of “pet” hamster their life cycle and habitat in the wild the basic necessities you need to buy for a pet and how much it’s going to cost you to provide the proper care everything you need to know about giving your hamster the highest possible quality of life the pros and cons of owning a pet hamster the most common problems & illnesses that hamsters experience and how to watch out for them special tips for training your hamster to do cool tricks a bonus chapter on how to start breeding hamsters and the best way to sell them and much, much more! Make sure that you know everything you need to know before you make this important decision. Find out if owning a hamster is the right choice for you! >>Purchase or Download This Book Today, Available on Kindle & in Print. <<

Fortnite: Battle Royale - The Ultimate Book of Memes


Supreme Memes - 2018
    FortniteThe Ultimate Book of MemesThe BEST Collection of Fortnite Memes anywhere in the Universe!This book is bursting with over 100 of the funniest Fortnite memes that will keep fans of the game in hysterics for hours! Tags: Fortnite, Fortnite Books, Fortnite Memes, Fortnite free on kindle, Kids Memes, Fortnite Kindle, Fortnite jokes, Fortnite free on kindle, minecraft jokes for kids, Fortnite joke book, Fortnite minecraft, funny, comedy, memes, jokes, pikachu, pokemon go memes, memes for children, jokes for children, memes for children, memes, meme, clean memes, clean jokes, ultimate memes, internet memes, memes, hilarious memes, memes free, funny internet memes, meme collection, memes, best memes, memes and funny stuff, awesome memes, memes free, funny memes, memes and funnies, internet memes, ultimate memes, cat memes, memes free, funniest memes, memes and jokes, video games memes, Fortnite game card, Fortnite builders club, Fortnite toys, Fortnite card, Fortnite robux, robux, Fortnite app, Fortnite games, free Fortnite, cheats for Fortnite, Fortnite gift card  Please note that the paperback version can only be produced in black and white for now.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Ridiculously Funny Stories By Real Cops


Mike Edwards - 2016
     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

Zack and Zebo: Book One


Justin Johnson - 2015
    But the cosmos has something different in store... From Chapter One: THE ARRIVAL "I didn’t even really see it. I felt it and there was a flash of brilliant green and blue light. But I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was that something had entered my room before I could get the window closed, the force of it knocking me to the floor." "It was standing there, no taller than my knee. It was green, with little pointy ears and a little face. I didn’t even know whether it was a he or a she. It just stood there, shaking its head back and forth and examining the wreckage that must’ve been a spaceship of sorts, though it looked no bigger than a toy truck." This is book one in this serialized story that’s ideal for kids ages 9-12. These books are the perfect thing to listen to and read right before bedtime, or when you just have a few spare moments. Each book will be approximately 7500 words, with the audiobook clocking in at about 35 - 40 minutes. Audiobooks, used in tandem with a text, are a great way to increase your child’s reading fluency, vocabulary and word acquisition, and comprehension! Book Tags: Fantasy stories for kids 4-8, bedtime stories children’s values books, Bedtime stories for kids ages 4-8, Bedtime stories for kids ages 3-8, stories for girls ages 4-8, short books for kids 4-8, short books for girls 4-8, Kindle Unlimited Books For Kids, kids books, children's books bedtime stories for kids, bedtime storybook collection, bedtime storybook, kids stories, bedtime stories for children, bedtime reading, free childrens books, Children's books, short stories, kids stories, stories for kids, stories for children, kids ebooks, short stories, bedtime stories, kids stories, stories for kids, short stories for kids, short stories, stories for kids, jokes, kids stories, childrens stories, kids books, childrens books, books for kids, bedtime stories, kids books, ebooks, books for kids, jokes, kids, hilarious, children, kid, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book about animals, elementary, kids book, books for kids, childrens book, book, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, kindle unlimited, kindle unlimited books for kids, kindle unlimited books for children, humor, early reader, beginning reader, kids comedy, bedtime stories, free ebooks, ebooks free, stories for kids, preschool, ages 3-5, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, beginning readers, beginner reading, kids stories, children stories

PPE Palaver (Clovenhoof: The Isolation Chronicles #6)


Heide Goody - 2020
    

The Dragon Who Couldn't Breathe Fire


Yonit Werber - 2013
    But, like butterflies must first be caterpillars, becoming a big boy or girl doesn’t happen overnight.In this funny rhyming story for children aged 3 to 7 years old, children will laugh at the illustrations and the extremes that our little dragon friend goes to, as he tries to breathe fire for the first time. After trying so hard with no luck at all, he meets a wise owl who tells him that his Mom has all the answers. This humorous story was created with the intention of helping young children to understand that life is magic. But, just like real magic, you never really know when it will happen!

2⁷ Nerd Disses: A Significant Quantity of Disrespect


Zach Weinersmith - 2013
    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers' Big Book of Farty Facts: An Illustrated Guide to the Science, History, and Art of Farting


M.D. Whalen - 2017
    How much do you know about farts?Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That female farts smell worse? No? Then you need this book!Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? No? Then you need this book!Do you know the fartiest animal on earth? The fartiest food? Know how many farts you inhale on a cross-country flight? Can farts power astronauts through space? You don’t know? Then you need this book!Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Then you absolutely need this gas-powered encyclopedia of fun and flatulent facts! Makes a perfect gag gift or bathroom read.Crack open a can of beans and become an expert in the windy and wacky science, history, and art of musical gas!

The Day My Mommy QUIT!


Kally Mayer - 2013
    Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner ReadersSuitable for ages 2-8Beautifully Illustrated Story that will have both parents and children laughing out loud!Find out what happened to this family when Mom gets fed up and decides to stop doing all the chores.How will the family cope when they are so used to Mom doing so much for them?What happens next is hilarious, but also includes a valuable lesson for the entire family, even the cat and dog!What would you do if your Mommy quit on you?You and your children will love how the family resolves the issue in this adorable and humorous tale.