. .On April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln updated his status: "Taking the missus to the theater"God and Stephen Hawking trolled each other in a comment war over the creation of the universe?Alexander the Great "checked into" all the countries he conqueredIrreverent and clever, The History of the World According to Facebook goes back through time, from the beginning of the world to the present, to cover all the major events and eras of human history, such as the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, and the Information Age. Filled with hundreds of actual figures from across the centuries and thousands of invented statuses, comments, and actions lampooning Facebook users’ penchant for oversharing, abbreviation, self-importance, and lazy jargon, The History of the World According to Facebook defies all attempts at taking the multi-billion user social media platform SRSLY. It is the funniest parody of history and the dawn of man since, well, the dawn of man.

    The great Irish humorist and writer Flann O'Brien, aka Brian O'Nolan,aka Myles na Gopaleen, also wrote a newspaper column called "CruiskeenLawn." The Best of Myles collects the best and funniest, covering suchsubjects as plumbers, the justice system, and improbable inventions.

    This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading 'the best hundred books, ' you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change." (from the Preface to "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow by Jerome Jerome)

    Everything from hotel signs to baffling advertisements, such as the German beauty product offering a 'Cream shower for pretentious skin' or the Japanese bar that boasts 'Special cocktails for ladies with nuts', or the French warning at a swimming pool - 'Swimming is forbidden in the absence of the saviour.' Published in paperback for the first time this autumn, Lost in Translation demonstrates how widely the English language has travelled, though unfortunately some of it seems to have got a bit scrambled en route.

    Are you afraid to tell your girlfriend that her ass looks fat? Do you need to explain to your nephew that dreams don't come true? Why not let a cute, fuzzy bunny do it for you! We understand how hard it is to tell someone that you're sleeping with his wife, so let a photograph of a duckling sleeping on a teddy bear soften the blow. These perforated postcards answer all of your cowardly prayers - you'll finally be able to tell the truth without ever conquering your fear of confrontation. Let these adorable baby animals supply a silver lining to any bad situation and avoid, a long, tearful afternoon explaining why daddy's never coming home.

    These ads prove that even if you’re lonely, you don’t have to be boring, as advertisers in this book demand much more than long walks on the beach from their potential mates. .Arranged by theme (“The Usual Hyperbole and a Whiff of Playful Narcissism”), and including footnotes to obscure references, Sexually I’m More of a Switzerland promises to be, like its predecessor, “a bracing splash of cold reality in the flushed face of romance” ( Chicago Tribune )..

    Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    (It's also her big chance to score that coveted book club endorsement she's always wanted. Are you there, Oprah? It's me, Kathy.)Kathy Griffin has won Emmys for her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, been nominated for a Grammy, worked and walked every red carpet known to man, and rung in the New Year with Anderson Cooper. But the legions of fans who pack Kathy's sold-out comedy shows have heard only part of her remarkable story. Writing with her trademark wit, the feisty comic settles a few old scores, celebrates the friends and mentors who helped her claw her way to the top, and shares insider gossip about celebrity behavior–the good, the bad, and the very ugly. She recounts the crazy ups and downs of her own career and introduces us to some of the supertalented people she encountered before they got famous (or, in some cases, after fame went to their heads). Word to the wise: If you've ever crossed Kathy Griffin at some point in your life, check the index for your name.Along the way, Kathy reveals intimate details about her life before and after she made the big time. She opens up about everything from growing up with a dysfunctional family in suburban Illinois to bombing as a young comedian in L.A., from her well-publicized plastic surgery disasters to her highly publicized divorce, and more. Only in this book will you learn how the dinner table is the best training ground for a career in stand-up, how speaking your mind can bite you on the ass and buy you a house, and which people in Kathy's life have taught her the most valuable lessons–both inside and outside the entertainment industry. And as if all that wasn't enough, there are also dozens of exclusive and somewhat embarrassing photos from Kathy's own collection–featuring the diva of the D List herself, with her old nose as well as her new one, plus celebrity friends, foes, frenemies, and hangers-on for you to gawk at.Refreshingly candid, unflinchingly honest, and full of hilarious "Did she really say that?" moments, Official Book Club Selection will make you laugh until you cry, or just puke up a little bit.

    A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths.

    What do Postman Pat, Tommy Cooper, Norman Wisdom and George Best have in common with being abandoned in a Costa Rican jungle after a severe bout of flatulence? Indeed, how are they also connected to trying to buy an Australian brewery just to get a beer, owning twenty-two cars, an American soccer team and a Swiss mail-order pornography company?The common feature is of course a certain Richard Wakeman.The Further Adventures of a Grumpy Old Rock Star takes you, the privileged reader, on a trip of absurd excess, a cultural car crash of side-splitting hilarity and an unforgettable glimpse (again) into the life of one of Britain's most legendary showmen, rock stars and all-time great raconteurs.

    By turns poignant and hilarious, Hammond takes readers from the set of Saturday Night Live, where he was the show’s longest-tenured cast member, to the drug-ridden streets of Harlem and into the twisting corridors of his own unflaggingly humorous consciousness. Mingling behind-the-scenes stories from television’s best-loved comedy series with a dark look inside a world-class funnyman, God If You’re Not Up There,I’m F*cked is a book sure to resonate with anyone who shares a talent for performance, a love of comedy, or a desire to know how an artist can climb from the deepest despair to the very top of his profession.

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    The other big event of that year was the outbreak of the Second World War, but for the moment, that did not affect me.' In the first instalment of Clive James's memoirs, we meet the young Clive, dressed in short trousers, and wrestling with the demands of school, various relatives and the occasional snake, in the suburbs of post-war Sydney.

    If you have ever failed at love, finances, been fired, not fit in, self-diagnosed yourself with disorders and conditions and/or said "I really need to get my s*** together," this is the book for you. Delight in Amy Lyle’s 45 years of missteps, inadequacies and faux pas. You may appreciate your own dysfunction a little more as you take a journey through Amy’s debacles including: “I Was Not Talking to You,” where Amy mistakes a handsome man waving at her as a potential suitor but in reality he was only trying to inform her that her belt was dragging on the freeway and “In the Neighborhood,” where members of a cult moving in concurred with a suspicious decline in the cat population. You will relish the chapters entitled “Calls from Sharon,” where Amy’s best friend rants about her kids not getting a fair shot because public schools are ‘so political,’ as her OB/GYN reported her vagina was ‘too clean’ and how the most eligible bachelor from 1982 married a whore. Enjoy “I’m Going to Kill You,” where Amy compares her lack of sleep from her husband’s snoring to CIA agents extracting secrets from a POW. Feel 20-32% better about your own life after reading “Getting Divorced Sucks,” where 911 was called after Amy had an adverse reaction from taking Xanax. THE AMY-BINEGAR-KIMMES-LYLE BOOK OF FAILURES is for anyone who has experienced their own disasters or takes pleasure in the failures of others. Includes Book Club questions. Comedy. Women humor. Funny non-fiction. Blended families. Summer read.

    He was supplied with a screenplay still in flux, writing his novelization even as the movie itself was being rewritten and as major roles were being recast (Michael J. Fox was not the first person to play Marty McFly). Partially because of this, and partially because of Gipe's natural writing style, the novelization is coo-coo bananas. It is totally insane. It's... kind of awesome?I feel like I should mention that after he submitted his manuscript, George Gipe was stung to death by bees.This book is the page-by-page reading guide to Gipe's novelization of Back to the Future, pointing out where things are different from the movie (often!) why and how they're worse (even more often!) and even when they're better (it happens, like, twice). It is written by Ryan North who writes the online strip Dinosaur Comics and the Adventure Time comic book. There are lots of pictures and lots of jokes and you will have a fun time reading (EVEN MORE SO THAN YOU NORMALLY DO).