How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion
Daniel H. Wilson - 2005
Robots have descended on us from outer space, escaped from top-secret laboratories, and even traveled back in time to destroy us.Today, scientists are working hard to bring these artificial creations to life. In Japan, fuzzy little real robots are delivering much appreciated hug therapy to the elderly. Children are frolicking with smiling robot toys.It all seems so innocuous. And yet how could so many Hollywood scripts be wrong?So take no chances. Arm yourself with expert knowledge. For the sake of humanity, listen to serious advice from real robotics experts. How else will you survive the inevitable future in which robots rebel against their human masters?
You Have to Fucking Eat
Adam Mansbach - 2014
Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand-, and expectant a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the Fuck to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to Fucking Eat perfectly captures Adam Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.Adam Mansbach is the author of the #1 international bestseller Go the Fuck to Sleep, as well as the novels Rage Is Back, Angry Black White Boy, The Dead Run, and The End of the Jews, winner of the California Book Award. He has written for the New Yorker, the New York Times, Esquire, the Believer, and National Public Radio’s All Things Considered. His daughter Vivien is six.Owen Brozman has illustrated for National Geographic, Time Out New York, Scholastic, Ninja Tune, Definitive Jux, and numerous other clients. He and Mansbach recently collaborated on the acclaimed graphic novel Nature of the Beast, and his work has been recognized by the Society of Illustrators of Los Angeles, Creative Quarterly, 3x3 magazine, and many more. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his wife and daughter, whose favorite food is bananas.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
George Carlin - 2004
Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Slothilda: Living the Sloth Life
Dante Fabiero - 2018
Though Slothilda's sluggish ways might occasionally hold her back, it turns out her perceived deficits are actually her greatest attributes.Slothilda gives us permission to feel unashamed about our slothy tendencies and emphasizes the importance of celebrating our authentic selves.From former Simpsons animator Dante Fabiero comes this all-too-real comic series about an adorable little sloth who's driven by her desire for self-improvement. Slothilda explores an inner conflict we can all relate to–the desire to succeed and grow, while paradoxically dealing with the ever-present temptation to sloth.With hilarious themes related to work, fitness, food, shopping, and pets, this book shows that you're not the only sloth at heart.
The Book of General Ignorance
John Lloyd - 2006
It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.Think Magellan was the first man to circumnavigate the globe, baseball was invented in America, Henry VIII had six wives, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again. You’ll be surprised at how much you don’t know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following:How long can a chicken live without its head?About two years.What do chameleons do?They don’t change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states.How many legs does a centipede have?Not a hundred.How many toes has a two-toed sloth?It’s either six or eight.Who was the first American president?Peyton Randolph.What were George Washington’s false teeth made from?Mostly hippopotamus.What was James Bond’s favorite drink?Not the vodka martini.
What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
Randall Munroe - 2014
It now has 600,000 to a million page hits daily. Every now and then, Munroe would get emails asking him to arbitrate a science debate. 'My friend and I were arguing about what would happen if a bullet got struck by lightning, and we agreed that you should resolve it . . . ' He liked these questions so much that he started up What If. If your cells suddenly lost the power to divide, how long would you survive? How dangerous is it, really, to be in a swimming pool in a thunderstorm? If we hooked turbines to people exercising in gyms, how much power could we produce? What if everyone only had one soulmate?When (if ever) did the sun go down on the British empire? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?What would happen if the moon went away?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, studded with memorable cartoons and infographics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion. Far more than a book for geeks, WHAT IF: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions explains the laws of science in operation in a way that every intelligent reader will enjoy and feel much the smarter for having read.
I Am Pusheen the Cat
Claire Belton - 2013
Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.
Poorly Drawn Lines: Good Ideas and Amazing Stories
Reza Farazmand - 2015
Embrace it.A bear flies through space. A hamster suffers a breakdown. Elsewhere, a garden snake is arrested by animal control and jailed for home invasion, while a child marvels at the wonder of nature as worms emerge from the ground and begin looking for vodka (as they always have). These are common occurrences in the world of Reza Farazmand’s wildly popular webcomic, Poorly Drawn Lines. Traveling from deep space to alternate realities to the bottom of the ocean, this eponymous collection brings together fan favorites with new comics and original essays to share Farazmand’s inimitable take on love, nature, social acceptance, and robots.
The History of England
Jane Austen - 1791
She sees nothing reprehensible in Richard III, yet burns with contempt for Elizabeth I, and documents several reigns with breezy nonchalance.This volume also contains 'Lesley Castle', a delightful and often hilarious correspondence detailing the mishaps and misapprehensions that befall five young ladies.
Thug Notes: A Street-Smart Guide to Classic Literature
Sparky Sweets - 2015
Inside, you'll find hilarious plot breakdowns and masterful analyses of sixteen of literature's most beloved classics, including: Things Fall Apart, To Kill a Mockingbird, Hamlet, The Catcher in the Rye, Lord of the Flies, Pride and Prejudice, and more! The series Thug Notes has been featured on BET, PBS, and NPR and has been used in hundreds of classrooms around the world. Whether you’re a student, teacher, or straight-up literary gangster like Dr. Sweets, Thug Notes has got you covered. You'll certainly never look at literature the same way again.www.wisecrack.co/book
Nothing's Sacred
Lewis Black - 2005
You've seen his energetic stand-up performances on HBO, Comedy Central, and in venues across the globe. Now, for the first time, Lewis Black translates his volcanic eruptions into book form in Nothing's Sacred, a collection of rants against stupidity and authority, which oftentimes go hand in hand. With subversive wit and intellectual honesty, Lewis examines the events of his life that shaped his antiauthoritarian point of view and developed his comedic perspective. Growing up in 1950s suburbia when father knew best and there was a sitcom to prove it, he began to regard authority with a jaundiced eye at an early age. And as that sentiment grew stronger with each passing year, so did his ability to hone in on the absurd. True to form, he puts common sense above ideology and distills hilarious, biting commentary on all things politically and culturally relevant. "No one is safe from Lewis Black's comic missiles." (New York Times) You have been warned....
Awkward Moments (Not Found in Your Average) Children's Bible - Volume #1: Illustrating the Bible Like You've Never Seen Before!
Horus Gilgamesh - 2013
Within hours, the book became the #1 Bestseller in Amazon.com's Humor & Religion category! Combining actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations, "Awkward Moments" uses humor to encourage people from all walks of life to think, perhaps for the first time, about how the Bible continues to shape our culture.BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely "not" your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestseller ""Go The F**k To Sleep"" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! "Foreskins Fetishes? Unicorn Murders? Boiled Babies? Messiah, MIA? Selling Daughters? Cannibalism Club? Genetic Breakthroughs? Demonic Bacon? Gagged Women? Jihad Jesus? You bet! And much more!"From the opening forewords by Facebook's own God and acclaimed author David G. McAfee, to the challenging commentaries and interactive games at the end, "Awkward Moments Children's Bible" is much more than an irreverent book for your coffee table! Readers of all faiths will find themselves laughing out loud while being encouraged to think about the Bible in a new way.Let's be honest - there are some things in the Good Book that are just... awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries!Most people were raised in the faith chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. "(On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?)" After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable that we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats the verses and ideas that are already familiar and comfortable to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - "the very foundation of Christianity!"The Goal? "Awkward Moments" encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The 32 color illustrations and included commentaries will likely challenge some readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud and enjoy the interactive puzzles and games in the mean time - "it's just an added bonus!"
God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - 1999
In God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian, Vonnegut skips back and forth between life and the Afterlife as if the difference between them were rather slight. In thirty odd "interviews," Vonnegut trips down "the blue tunnel to the pearly gates" in the guise of a roving reporter for public radio, conducting interviews: with Salvatore Biagini, a retired construction worker who died of a heart attack while rescuing his schnauzer from a pit bull, with John Brown, still smoldering 140 years after his death by hanging, with William Shakespeare, who rubs Vonnegut the wrong way, and with socialist and labor leader Eugene Victor Debs, one of Vonnegut's personal heroes.What began as a series of ninety-second radio interludes for WNYC, New York City's public radio station, evolved into this provocative collection of musings about who and what we live for, and how much it all matters in the end. From the original portrait by his friend Jules Feiffer that graces the cover, to a final entry from Kilgore Trout, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian remains a joy.
Naked Pictures of Famous People
Jon Stewart - 1998
In these nineteen whip-smart essays, Jon Stewart takes on politics, religion, and celebrity with seething irreverent wit, a brilliant sense of timing, and a palate for the absurd -- and these one-of-a-kind forays into his hilarious world will expose you to all it's wickedly naked truths.
America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't
Stephen Colbert - 2012
You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book—it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.