All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit!Except—as anyone who has renovated an old house knows—things are never that easy.The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling…and then there’s the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.On top of all this, the renovation is being featured on a daytime reality TV show, and as soon as Great Locations presenter Gerard O’Keefe catches sight of Hayley’s first-floor balcony, he’s determined to woo her out of her ban on romance, whether she wants him to or not.Will Dan and Hayley survive and sell up? Or will the whole thing collapse on them like a ton of bricks?From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a hilarious tale of life, love and dodgy plumbing.

    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

    Travel through time with Matt Groening as he pulls back the curtain and reveals the events that turned this average family into a pop-culture phenomenon. Discover the hopes and dreams of a young Homer and uncover the sensitive and driven girl Marge was before she married him. Marvel at the hidden moments you never knew you missed, as all the pieces of Simpsons history fall into place. Chock full of art taken directly from the source, this massive tome is a must for Simpsons fans and the perfect way to celebrate The Simpsons’ 25th anniversary.

    (He had a very big bed.) "Confessions of a Late Night Talk Show Host" is a Hollywood autobiography like no other because it reveals all -- the loves and losses, the pain and joy, the shrinks and doctors -- and it is uproariously funny. Larry Sanders has written a book that will have the same ten-year run that his show did. Larry Sanders is no ordinary man, and this book will show America and the world how very different he is. Fueled by an enormous need to be loved and gifted with a talent beyond even his own, Sanders has risen to the top of his field -- and dropped -- while retaining all of his dignity and modesty. As he says on the first page of his story, "I'm famous. Actually, I'm very, very, very famous." Sanders's story is laced with the names (and some of the faces) of the thousands of celebrities who have sought his attention for a decade -- and Sanders tells the world what he thinks of all of them, even if it hurts his own feelings."Confessions of a Late Night Talk Show Host" is a Hollywood tell-all that will forever change the nature of this kind of book. While Geraldo Rivera used his sexual exploits to shamelessly promote his book, Sanders uses his conquests of thousands of women to illustrate his compassion and grace. "If it sells, it sells," Sanders says. "There was never a hidden agenda." While Roseanne used her book to promote her manypersonalities, Sanders's book shows how a straight-shooter can not only survive but thrive in Hollywood. Most of all, Sanders, in truthfully disclosing all aspects of his life and those of people he has never met, hopes to heal and entertain. Sanders has written a wonderfully hilarious book that will make some of his fans wish he were back.

    Packed with facts, figures and stories from the show's entire run, this unique tour of space and time takes you from Totters Lane to Trenzalore, taking in guides to UNIT call signs, details of the inner workings of sonic screwdrivers, and a reliability chart covering every element of the TARDIS. With tables, charts and illustrations dotted throughout, as well as fascinating lists and exhaustive detail, you won't believe the wonders that await. Are you ready? Then read on, you clever boy. And remember.

    Today, their daily YouTube talk show, Good Mythical Morning, is the most-watched daily talk show on the Internet, and nearly 12 million subscribers tune in to see the guys broadcast brainy trivia, wild experiments, and hilarious banter (not to mention the occasional cereal bath). Now the award-winning comedians are finally bringing their “Mythical” world to the printed page in their first book.A hilarious blend of autobiography, trivia, and advice, Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery will offer twenty ways to add “Mythicality” to your life, including:Eat Something That Scares YouMake a Bold Hair ChoiceInvent Something RidiculousSay “I Love You” Like It's Never Been SaidSpeak at Your Own FuneralThe goal of these offbeat prompts? To learn new things, laugh more often, and earn a few grown-up merit badges along the way. Heartfelt and completely original, this book will be the perfect gift for anyone looking for a fresh dose of humor and fun.

    It contains 100,000 books, spread over a mile of shelving, with twisting corridors and roaring fires, and all set in a beautiful, rural town by the edge of the sea. A book-lover's paradise? Well, almost ... In these wry and hilarious diaries, Shaun provides an inside look at the trials and tribulations of life in the book trade, from struggles with eccentric customers to wrangles with his own staff, who include the ski-suit-wearing, bin-foraging Nicky. He takes us with him on buying trips to old estates and auction houses, recommends books (both lost classics and new discoveries), introduces us to the thrill of the unexpected find, and evokes the rhythms and charms of small-town life, always with a sharp and sympathetic eye.

    It also contains material from the BBC archives and reveals how the show was rejected when it was first offered to the BBC, how David Jason nearly missed out on the starring role and the tragedy of the death of one of its stars during filming.Steve Clark was the only author on set for the filming of Only Fools and Horses, spin-off The Green Green Grass and prequel Rock & Chips and his book gives a fascinating and unique insight into this legendary series. Dragon's Den star Theo Paphitis a long-time fan of the series - has written a foreword to the book, which also includes rare photographs and other exclusive material.

    Appalled by this lack of maturity, Mike draws up a To-Do list containing every single item he's been meaning to do but just keeps putting off...He's got a lot of stuff that needs doing. But unlike previous To-Do lists, he promises himself that this one will actually get DONE. And along the way, Mike will learn stuff about life (323), love (999), friends (1004) and family (9) and finally work out what it means to be a grown up (846).

    We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companiesAND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

    Alternating between humorous side notes and longer essays offering his son advice as he grows up and ventures out into the world, Backman relays the big and small lessons in life, including:-How to find the team you belong to -Why airports explain everything about religion and war -The reason starting a band is crucial to cultivating and keeping friendships -How to beat Monkey Island 3 -Why, sometimes, a dad might hold onto his son's hand just a little too tight.The #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Man Called Ove shares an irresistible and moving collection of heartfelt, fictional, humorous essays about fatherhood, providing his newborn son with the perspective and tools he'll need to make his way in the world.

    What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and for getting older in Dave Barry Turns Forty, he does for everything else in America! Tupperware ladies, eighties people and leisure-concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe!

    They will offer tips on surviving the credit crunch for all those that need them.Expect a board game put together by Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar, a guide to the cheeses of Saudi Arabia, and news of the ever-expanding range of Mitchell and Webb products.This Mitchell and Webb book will be supported by a frankly enormous marketing budget and stunning publicity everywhere. This will be the best comedy book for a long time, not least because David and Robert have put every page together themselves.

    One wanted to call it "The Empire Strikes Back" but it was generally felt that might intimidate the smaller nations.'Queen of sixteen sovereign nations, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. She's one of the world's most well-known and powerful leaders and has reigned for 60 years. But what does she really think?'One does enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest. Lovely to be reminded how much more civilized the British are than our European neighbours. Royal Eurovision Fancy Dress Party to celebrate. Unfortunately Camilla misread the invitation as 'Euro-tunnel Fancy Dress Party' and came as a train.'Taking in the momentous events of 2012, including the Jubilee celebrations and preparations for the London Olympics, these diaries reveal the seldom-seen workings of state and reveal how an octogenarian is quietly ruling the world and still has time for a gin.

    Definitive A-Z packs never seen before photos, concept drawings and special effects artwork covers Doctor Who Nine Christopher Eccelston and Ten David Tennant, about the Doctor, the Tardis, his friends, enemies and the worlds he travels.