#congrats' - Twitter User'DO NOT READ THIS BOOK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME' - Your ParentsFrom the author of the popular Twitter feed @SororityProblem comes a new novel about hard-partying 21st century girl Alexa Black and the epic disaster that ensues when her mother forces her to clean up her act and join a prim-and-proper sorority. Alexa tries to land in this strange new world on her feet, but from suffering an embarrassing accident while trying to make a love connection at a Britney Spears concert to being wrongly arrested for public indecency at a Chili's, she soon realizes that nothing can make her fall on her face faster than her own good intentions.

    It's not about memorizing lists of dates or names, or remembering which general won what battle. Instead, BIZARRE HISTORY merrily digs up the scandals, the strangeness, and the scintillating details that illuminate personalities, events, and real life. Think of it not as a textbook, but as history’s juicy unauthorized biography--a historical document in which relevance never gets in the way of a good read. There are humorous quotes from famous figures such as Mark Twain and Napoleon ("History is a myth that men agree to believe"), as well as witty commentary about leaders of the past. After all, while you're probably familiar with William the Conquerer, have you heard of Charles the Simple, ruler of France and son of Louis the Stammerer? What about the emperor who entered Rome in a chariot drawn by 50 naked slaves—and invented the first whoopee cushion, too? But you can find lots of wildness closer to home: George Washington wrote love letters to a married woman; "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson had been in at least seven duels before becoming president; and Benjamin Franklin fathered an illegitimate child. Paranoia also plagued a few of our presidents: the only thing Franklin Roosevelt had to fear was the number 13: he wouldn't invite 13 guests to a dinner party or travel on the 13th. And both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan had encounters with UFOs! The fun facts span the globe, covering the crazy acts of Caligula in the Roman Empire; the "Dog Shogun" in 17th century Japan; the "Pork and Beans" war between the US and Canada; and even details about fashion, medicine, sports, and the real Dracula. It's a wild journey that no one could resist!

    Told in her hilarious, bold voice that’s inspired over nine million fans, and using stories from her own life to illustrate her message, Lilly proves that there are no shortcuts to success. WARNING: This book does not include hopeful thoughts, lucky charms, and cute quotes. That’s because success, happiness, and everything else you want in life needs to be fought for—not wished for. In Lilly’s world, there are no escalators, only stairs. Get ready to climb.

    It is essential reading.

    You'll have a blast reading this and then date...or not date anyone because you are living your best single life with new best friend Roberson by your side." - Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of You Can't Touch My Hair

    As a lifelong member of "The Nerd Herd," as he calls it, Chris Hardwick has learned all there is to know about Nerds. Developing a system, blog, and podcasts, Hardwick shares hard-earned wisdom about turning seeming weakness into world-dominating strengths in the hilarious self-help book, "The Nerdist Way."From keeping their heart rate below hummingbird levels to managing the avalanche of sadness that is their in-boxes; from becoming evil geniuses to attracting wealth by turning down work, Hardwick reveals the secrets that can help readers achieve their goals by tapping into their true nerdtastic selves.Here Nerds will learn how to: Become their own time cop Tell panic attacks to go suck it Use incremental fitness to ward off predatorsA Nerd's brain is a laser-it's time they learn to point and fire!

    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

    Arrested for fraud in 2008--during the depths of the global financial crisis--the 70-year-old market maker, investment advisor, and former chairman of the NASDAQ had orchestrated the largest Ponzi scheme in world history, fleecing thousands of investors across the globe to the tune of $65 billion. To this day, questions remain: Why did he do it? How did he get away with it for so long? What did his family know? Who is the elusive Bernie Madoff?In Madoff Talks, author Jim Campbell presents the most comprehensive, insider account of the Madoff saga to date. Based on exclusive interviews with all the players--the Madoff family and their associates, the Wall Street wheelers and dealers, the army of lawyers, analysts, and investigators, the victims of the scheme, and Bernie Madoff himself--the book reveals: what motivated a respected financier to commit such a massive fraud--and why he thought he could get away with ithow Madoff managed to keep the scheme hidden in plain sight--despite numerous SEC investigationsthe shocking failures of Wall Street oversight--and how it could happen againthe true scale of the investment losses―and the victims' ongoing fight for justicewhat Ruth Madoff and the rest of the family knew--and how it shattered their livesMadoff Talks features the first, and likely only, interviews with Ruth Madoff and defense attorney Ira Sorkin, for which Bernie waived attorney-client privilege, as well as never-before-published details from the author's personal communications with Bernie Madoff in prison. A vivid, powerful piece of investigative reporting, the book takes us behind the headlines to show the full human cost of Madoff's crimes, and offers a cogent analysis of the reforms necessary to prevent it from happening again.Meticulously researched and relentlessly riveting, Madoff Talks is the full story of an American tragedy.

    When Michael’s mother receives a harrowing medical diagnosis, Michael begins a laugh-out-loud examination of health, happiness, and the human body from the perspective of a settled (and sedentary) husband and father of two. With the trademark wit that has made Michael’s other books popular favorites, Navel Gazing is a heartfelt and poignant memoir about coming to terms with growing older and the inevitability of death. It is also a self-deprecating and deliciously frank remembrance of exercise failures, finding out he is part Neanderthal, and almost throwing down with fellow author Tucker Max.Michael Ian Black may not have the perfect body. Or be the perfect father. Or husband. Or son. But you will laugh as you recognize yourself in his attempts to do better. And, inevitably, falling short. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll call your mom.

    This hilarious and informative book is designed for anyone who is sci-curious and wants to know more about the world around them, especially the elements of everyday science that other books ignore.

    However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.

    But there was nothing inherently special about them! They only knew to abide by an ancient rule of nature. Nature, in turn, rewarded them with strength, agility, and health.Your lifelong health is largely determined by what goes on inside your body at the microscopic level. Every meal you eat, beverage you drink, and moment of exertion or rest impacts your internal machinery. With the right intake of food, regular exercise, and an occasional break from both, your body begins to experience autophagy. And that is what this book is going show you!This book will teach you about: What is Autophagy and how it works How to age slower and be vigorous throughout your life Which foods make you live longer and build muscle How to promote health and longevity with intermittent fasting the various ways to fast the weight loss effects of fasting How to use autophagic processes to delay or prevent signs of aging Autophagy mistakes to avoid This manual is for everyone who values their life and health. It is for who is young and old alike who value healthy living and would like to keep their bodies and immune systems resilient to all forms of disease attack. The teachings of this manual are your ticket to a long, good life, without the fear of your body failing you any time soon. Buy this book right now and invest in your own health. You don’t have a second to lose! Just Click on “Buy now button” And Start Your Journey Toward a Healthier You Today!

    Around every corner lies a potential faux pas waiting to happen. But if you've ever struggled for the right response to an unwelcome gift or floundered for conversation at the dinner party from hell, fear not: help is at hand.In Rules for Modern Life, Sir David Tang, resident agony uncle at the Financial Times, delivers a satirical masterclass in navigating the social niceties of modern life. Whether you're unsure of the etiquette of doggy bags or wondering whether a massage room in your second home would be de trop, Sir David has the answer to all your social anxieties - and much more besides.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Armed with a newfound swagger, the author transforms a much anticipated, romantic holiday with his wife into a decidedly unromantic, though highly romanticized roots tour with comic results. Crammed into their tiny rental car (a Fiat Crumb or some such model), the couple scour the countryside, from castles to trailer parks, looking for something more to commemorate Crawford history than a family crest refrigerator magnet - and ultimately discover something altogether richer: a thriving country with the most beautiful and haunting scenery imaginable, a romantic history full of blood, intrigue and heroism, and some of the friendliest and most fiercely loyal people in the world. Award-winning travel writer Scott Crawford resides in the British Virgin Islands. A professional educator, he has a keen interest in travel and history, which infuse his writings. Where's Me Plaid is his first book.